Thursday. Part Three"Excuse me sir, but it's already 10pm. You can't put this off any longer. Shower please while I iron your new shirt. We really MUST get you to Les Ambassadeurs"
Master's reply was as a five year old being told to go to bed
"Don't want to" with bottom lip protruding, clutching his handbag.
"Come now sir, all for a good cause. Lets be having you"
and a recalcitrant tikay, newly busted from his online tournament holding 7-2 in the big blind, entered the bathroom
I busied myself laying out his new clothes on his bead. Dinner suit, dress shirt, bow tie and, unforgiveably, brown brogues
I shuddered at the thought of the trip to Marble Arch earlier, where tikay kicked up such a fuss about not being able to buy new black shoes on his own, and being forced to wait for a sales assistant that he flounced off leaving me to make his apologies
Twenty minutes later and we were bound for Mayfair. Everything was fine, as long as no one looked down at his shoes.
Into the Les Ambassaduers venue and I could tell Master was nervous as he entered a room full of glitterati, an environment completely alien to a man of the people.
"MY LORDS LADIES AND GENTLEMAN" announced the Master of Ceremonies loudly
"BE UPSTANDING FOR MR ANTHONY KENDALL OF SKY POKER, ANALYSIS BY NITS FOR FISH AND GREEK CALLING STATIONS"
The room stood as one. Soon glasses were being banged on tables and feet were stamping. Mr Anthony Kendall had the good grace to look embarrassed. I too, as half the room clearly though I was he, standing as I was a few paces behind and one step to the left. Perhaps they thought he was my food taster, or Personal bodyguard. Albeit a pint-sized version.
Anyway, the meal went off swimmingly with tikay swapping slightly awkward badinage with Ladies from Cheltenham, Jesse May and not with a by now horizontal Padraig Parkinson now slumped under the table. Then an auction in which over £250,000 was raised for Great Ormond Street. Mostly by my bidding over £100,000 on master's behalf on his Platinum card for a fortnight in Hull with Devilfish, learning the art of safe-cracking and pawnbroking.
Afterwards, the poker tournament. 1500 chips. 5 minute blinds,s tarting at 50-100. A quick pep talk back-fired when I announced
"Perfect game for you Master, just shove them in like I have seen you do so many times, and bink!"
A look from tikay said it all.
Less than an hour later and the field of 50 landed gentry had shrunk to a final table. Soon three left, fighting it out over some amazing prizes, and tikay binking them off the ceiling, off the post and playing iwth much flair.
For third, a yearly membership of Les Ambassadeurs worth £1,000
For second, a night playing online with my Boss. Sharing strategies. Wouldn't take long, I thought idly to myself
For the winner an evening playing live with the renowned poker player Hardeep Singh Kohli.
With much decorum, despite another look that said it all, tikay managed not to ask the obvious question...
"How can he be first prize ahead of me?". Hardeep didn't look too happy either, to be fair
So three left, and soon tikay was Heads Up with Lush the Gush, an old friend.
tikay was faced with a tricky decision with which he sought my counsel
"Jeeves, don't want to spend an evening with the fella. Can I win my own prize?"
"Well, sir, it would be slightly odd. Perhaps you could contrive to be bad beated and finish second though? Then it will not look so odd"
"Thanks Jeeves"
Within minutes it was over. Lush was set for a tete a turban with Kohli and tikay would spend the evening playing with himself.
As we returned back to the hotel, tikay eagerly clutching the Sky Poker, analysis for Greeks by Cockneys, voucher tikay turned to me and said
"You know Jeeves, that was fun. Enough of the Sky Poker, analysis for calling stations by nits, masses and the blonde proletariat. I reckon I could get used to this dressing up and hob-nobbing"
As I went to bed later I thought to myself that really it doesn't take much to change the mindset of even the most stubborn man.
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