Rate My Fry-up...

[Karabiner]

I'm getting really nervous

Driving test was nothing compared to this

Just avoid the schoolboy errors, uncooked waffles, [ ] sausages, the wrong-sized mushrooms, the wrong beans, tomatoes (especially scrotum ones), unevenly cooked meat, non-crispy bacon, the wrong type/quantity/colour/texture/size/shape of bread, eggs done incorrectly, the wrong sort of plate, table, cutlery...

You'll be fine!

Best get a move on as otherwise some of your ingredients will be past their consume-by date.

[smashedagain]

I'm getting really nervous

Driving test was nothing compared to this

any chance of getting someone to video the task?

[RED-DOG]

OK, you asked for it.

This is a very good example of a breakast and I would be proud to eat it, but if were striving for perfection...


The beans could have been prevented from touching the egg by utilising a readily available sausage barrier. Sorry, School boy error

Sausage: Unevenly cooked. Granted but wanted authentic home cooked effect

Bacon: Undercooked and lacking crispy rind. That's how I like it

Mushrooms: Undercooked, portion too small. They were cooked well but lighting gives wrong impression. Portion size granted

Bread: Not enough and should be on separate plate. (Toast ditto) School boy error, sorry
Fried bread: Soaked up too much oil. Have to disagree on this one. The texture was sublime - not quite crispy but not soggy either

Black pudding: Meh! Looks loke it was photoshopped on as an afterthought. Black pud was absolutley perfect. Flavourful but not too much salt added

Plate: Depressing colour and far too small leading to inadvertent mixing and heapage. School boy error again

Fork: Looks bendy. Sorry poorness or photo. Knife and fork were matching items that a re really solid and most definately not round and definately not blunt

Knife: Blade looks dull, rounded handle will be prone to slippage. See above

Great effort. 6.8 / 10.

Cheers Tom but would you reconsider your score in light of my responses. I really feel a 7 would do it justice.

how much more bread do you want on a breakfast?

Well more than one slice obv.

Too much bread is fine, I can leave some if need be, but too little is a hanging offence. (Imagine finding yourself with spare egg yolk and no dipper.)

While we're at it, there should be no toast, especially that poncy uncut bloomer toast that goes cold too quickly. Toast is for having beans or cheese on. Bread and butter is for breakfasts.

6.5 /10

[MahoganyVic]

Disappointing and somewhat harsh reviews

I was going to include some quorn bacon, but it doesnt work so well on a full breakfast. I was going to do a quorn bacon buttie later in the week although I am not sure I can take any more ridicule.

The sausages had to be put in a line to cope with the tsunami effect once the beans were added to the plate. The barrier proved inadequate in holding them at bay in the end though.

It tasted very nice. There was actually a seperate serving of 2 waffles, a saugage, mushroom and mound of beans which I kept seperate so I didnt overcrowd the plate. Had the second plate for desert.

[RED-DOG]

Disappointing and somewhat harsh reviews

I was going to include some quorn bacon, but it doesnt work so well on a full breakfast. I was going to do a quorn bacon buttie later in the week although I am not sure I can take any more ridicule.

The sausages had to be put in a line to cope with the tsunami effect once the beans were added to the plate. The barrier proved inadequate in holding them at bay in the end though.

It tasted very nice. There was actually a seperate serving of 2 waffles, a saugage, mushroom and mound of beans which I kept seperate so I didnt overcrowd the plate. Had the second plate for desert.

Whatever!

[EvilPie]

I'm getting really nervous

Driving test was nothing compared to this

Just avoid the schoolboy errors, uncooked waffles, [ ] sausages, the wrong-sized mushrooms, the wrong beans, tomatoes (especially scrotum ones), unevenly cooked meat, non-crispy bacon, the wrong type/quantity/colour/texture/size/shape of bread, eggs done incorrectly, the wrong sort of plate, table, cutlery...

You'll be fine!

Best get a move on as otherwise some of your ingredients will be past their consume-by date.

All ingredients have been sourced and will be purchased fresh on the day.

Likely to happen Saturday. Definitely Sunday if not.

[EvilPie]

I'm getting really nervous

Driving test was nothing compared to this

any chance of getting someone to video the task?

Not a chance.

If someone video's it they'll know it took about 8 hours to do and that even though it looks ok everything's cold.

[EvilPie]

Disappointing and somewhat harsh reviews

I was going to include some quorn bacon,

I got as far as here then thought......

Whatever!

[EvilPie]

Disappointing and somewhat harsh reviews

I was going to include some quorn bacon, but it doesnt work so well on a full breakfast. I was going to do a quorn bacon buttie later in the week although I am not sure I can take any more ridicule.

The sausages had to be put in a line to cope with the tsunami effect once the beans were added to the plate. The barrier proved inadequate in holding them at bay in the end though.

It tasted very nice. There was actually a seperate serving of 2 waffles, a saugage, mushroom and mound of beans which I kept seperate so I didnt overcrowd the plate. Had the second plate for desert.

Did you just everyone to say "Wow that's amazing!! 10/10. Don't ever change a thing"?

Criticism can be hard to take but I think everything has been constructive.

How are you supposed to learn to become a meat eater if people don't explain the error of your ways?

[Woodsey]

I'm getting really nervous

Driving test was nothing compared to this

any chance of getting someone to video the task?

Not a chance.

If someone video's it they'll know it took about 8 hours to do and that even though it looks ok everything's cold.

Pro tip. Brush it all with oil with a pastry brush just before you take a pic to give it a sheen which makes it look like its straight out the pan  

[EvilPie]

I'm getting really nervous

Driving test was nothing compared to this

any chance of getting someone to video the task?

Not a chance.

If someone video's it they'll know it took about 8 hours to do and that even though it looks ok everything's cold.

Pro tip. Brush it all with oil with a pastry brush just before you take a pic to give it a sheen which makes it look like its straight out the pan  

FFS Woodsey!!!

My mum's already told me to do that!

Now people are going to think I did it just because someone told me to!!

[kinboshi]

I'm getting really nervous

Driving test was nothing compared to this

any chance of getting someone to video the task?

Not a chance.

If someone video's it they'll know it took about 8 hours to do and that even though it looks ok everything's cold.

Pro tip. Brush it all with oil with a pastry brush just before you take a pic to give it a sheen which makes it look like its straight out the pan   

FFS Woodsey!!!

My mum's already told me to do that!

Now people are going to think I did it just because someone told me to!!

Be careful Matt.  Some experts on here won't be fooled by any amateur attempts to bluff the judges.

[Dewi_cool]

Great thread, glad I started it.

[kinboshi]

Great thread, glad I started it.

Thanks Dewi

[bobAlike]

Great thread, glad I started it.

Ahhh Dewi, the voice of reason, can you put Red straight please, I'm affraid his ridiculous low score of my brekkie is making me cry.