fry up
OK Ms D, here goes...
Toast -------------- Absent.
Bread & butter --- Absent.
Fried bread ------- Absent.
Beans --------------Absent.
Black pudding ---- Absent.
Tea------------------Absent.
Condiments---------Absent.
Moving on to what little is actually there...
Plate: Too small, looks like something your granny would have a cucumber sandwich on, and who wants pictures of fruit on a fry up plate? It just reminds them how unhealthy the food is.
Eggs: One yolk has burst and they have not been turned or basted. I can still see chalazae ffs!
Bacon: Where is the rest of it? Did you buy it with a coupon from your ration book? Underdone, anaemic uninspiring.
Mushrooms: Again a tiny amount of tiny fungi. It looks like you have lobotomised a mouse.
Hash brown: (Note, singular, not plural) Underdone. More like hash pale yellow.
Tomato: One fkin cherry tomato, cut in half and slightly warmed.
Sausages:
"I bought some random ones with apple and other random flavours, cremated them, and then proceeded to try and slice them half open with my friend's 'blunt' knife" So basically, they were already fked up when you bought them, and you fked them up even more.
3.5 / 10. (I added .5 because I like you)
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