Am I autistic?

[suzanne]

I am not normally moved in the way that I am now -- I am a big ignorant Irishman -- but your posts are so moving, honest and if I am true to myself - beautiful.

Live long and prosper Fugly -- you have soooooo much to offer

If you drink I'll buy the first one at the next BB -- if you don't I'll  drink for both of us

Wishing you a rainbow
For sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of Irish smiles
For golden happy hours—
Shamrocks at your doorway
For luck and laughter too,
And a host of friends that never ends
Each day your whole life through!

Slán agus beannacht leat

That brought a tear to my eye.....i wish you the same m8

[FuglyBaz]

I wanted to thank anybody who has read this thread, and knows a little bit more about Aspergers Syndrome, and High Functioning Autism in general from reading this thread. I didn't think so many other people would come on and say their child may have AS or other Autism related conditions. It is good to feel that I'm not alone sometimes, though in person I can feel very isolated on occasion.

I'm surprised, and moveed myself, that my posts moved the majority of you. I have only ever told one other forum about my problems like this, because they were slagging me off for being unsociable at darts events when I just wanted to be professional about playing, and explained my social anxiety. They treated me like scum of the earth after I tried to tell them, whereas you guys have been the complete opposite. I'm grateful for that, really.

Poker players generally dont have a reputation for being nice guys, it's all quite primitive really isn't it? Survival of the fittest and all that. But you guys havents posted here as ruthless poker players, you've posted as people. For that I'm grateful too.

I've had a lump in my throat when reading some replies back, because it reminds me of what Ive gone through. And while I tend to remember a lot of the bad things AS has had in store for me, I can always remember one thing - the positives of AS far outweigh the negatives. I have a gift, and I encourage anyone who has AS to really go after something they feel they are good at, because the likelyhood is, that they could do far better than anyone with a 'normal' mind. There has to be a level of eccentricity there to become a genius, 'normal' people dont have that.

So again, thank you all, and to cia632876321874621784632164 (whatever the number is ) if you ever get time to post about your son, would be nice to see what he said about it.

Thanks all again
Bazza

PS, sorry for hijacking of thread in first place

[cia260895]

no probs m8

will stick it up as soon as i get it back from the ex.

[Harmony26]

Just want to say thank you to CIA for starting this thread and an especial thank you to you, Bazza, for posting so honestly and eloquently - this has been a fascinating read -  I had some previous knowledge and understanding of Asperger's but this has really led me to realise a lot more of the experiences someone with, as you say, this gift, goes through and I really appreciate it.

Can I add to the Blondes who are now looking forward to meeting you if you could make a BB.

In no way have you hijacked the thread - you have really opened up a subject and informed and benefitted a lot of folk. I hope your family can read this one day, too.

All the very best.

[cia260895]

Painstakingly i have inserted all the text from the posts which Charlie highlighted(reproduced below in BOLD type  as  how he sees things,

Not being pc gifted i couldnt get all quotes onto 1 post so have had to do seperate posts for each section he highlighted,(1 day i'll get the hang of it),After re reading it i am still unsure if charlie is AS or just borderline,but after reading your posts Bazza I am sure in my own mind that I can now understand his thought process a little easier.

This reaslly has been a great insight to all who read this thread.

just 1 thing the bit where charlie has highlighted that he plays guitar is true he goes to 1  half hour lesson per week but will not or cant be interested to practice it,which drives me nuts as to be good at it he has to practice/practice/practice I'd rather he did something that he enjoys more but i suppose he might think as long as he keeps going to his lessons that will do him???


Thanks Harmony but its Fuglybaz that we owe it all to for being so open and honest 

I have autism, Aspergers Syndrome to be exact, and after months and months of play i can tell you that people with Autism generally will not be good poker players. It is unfair to say that everyone with Autism is like me, because it isnt true BUT there are certain traits in certain forms of Autism from the 'spectrum' which would prevent poker players from reaching the success they could potentially reach. A lot of this is from my own personal experience and if anybody can relate then fine, but if you can't, please challenge or question with sound arguments, rather than show arrgant ignorance like so many people do.

The first thing I must mention is that I do not consider having Aspergers as a disability, I see it as a gift. But having a gift doesn't translate to success in everything that you do.

There are many things that I have had obsessions with in my life. I feel sad for having them at times, because other people do not understand, but I realise that specialised interest will eventually make me successful in something. VERY successful. Things i can remember doing, I could do alphabet backwards before I did it forwards, I was able to recite the list of Kings and queens of England in the order of when they ruled, along with the years they ruled to and from. I then got interested in geography, and more specifically knowing the flags and capital cities for every country in the world - Things as an 8 year old that dont earn you any friends, just respect and amazement from teachers (which led to bullying from students).

My obsessions when reaching age of 14 was playing snooker, within 6 months of play I had hit a 50 break, while hitting 30 breaks with regular consistency. That was until some nasty tosspot broke my cue in half, leaving it unusable. I couldnt reach the same level again as I was heartbroken. So I turned to music,and playing the guitar    and drums. I did that until I hit 20, then i got into darts after watching Raymond van Barneveld lose his World Crown to Jelle Klaasen. I just totally ditched 6 years of hard work learning to play different instruments, for a game played down the pub. Lo and behold, I was that obsessed that i had to try the professional circuit after 6 months of play, to satisfy my curiosity. I got fortunate enough to beat a player called Andy 'Rocky' Jenkins who was ranked #6 in the PDC world rankings at the time. Too much pressure/expectation etc led to massive downfall in what was a not very good game in the first place, and I lost all interest.

That is how I got into poker! I thought I could get good quick, and make easy money. I bought myself Harringtons books and started from there. And while his strategies were good, they are outdated. And this is the first problem with Autistic people - THE FAILURE TO ADAPT TO CHANGE FROM A SET ROUTINE. I have stopped playing poker, because it pains me to go away from a set strategy introduced to me by a very successful player. Beginning of this year I decided I would learn the 2008 way to play poker, but it changes and evolves so much that i cannot cope...I panic all the time when I play poker. the slightest things really make me angry - like people min raising. I am not an angry person in anything else, but the fact people do what they shouldnt does my head in, because I am used to a certain system. I'm one of the most placid people you will meet, and I let people do a lot of shit to me I shouldn't tolerate in the first place, but in poker if you deviate from book just once I panic...thats why i have to stop playing poker.

I am totally obsessive with everything ive ever done in life, and that includes poker. I spent hundreds on books, and depositing online and playing in casinos. I was easily exploited, not just by my failure to change but the fact certain people wanted to be my friends. Im too naive and trusting to think people can do bad to me. Too many things which cost me a hell of a lot of money, people knew how to pull strings, they knew my tells and I just cannot change them no matter how hard I try. Addiction is bad enough in doing anything in life, let alone poker. You might know the feeling of tilt, but you can't understand the feeling of what I can only describe as emotional lockjaw. I just cannot release anything no matter how much i want to, and it is so frustrating, and embarassing at times too.

I started playing poker because I wanted to get in with the dart players on the circuit who played poker. I found it hard enough (and still do) to make proper friends with anyone, so thought if I can have something in common with the next guy, it may make my life easier. Instead it totally screwed up my darts, and lost me what little sanity I had from birth.

There are several things which makes poker hard for me, and the main points are the ones noted above. Online poker doesnt erase my inability to let go obsession and one track mindedness.



I hope some of this made sense to somebody, and you all dont think Im some nutter. Mind you, I have to be a nutter to want to become an International Master in chess one day. At least I can channel my obsession in a problemsolving excercise which doesnt cost the earth like poker has done me.

Sorry for the rambling...I just feel passionately about the subject. About this study that has been proposed, i think its total bull. How can the size of your head have anything to do with certain patterns? Sounds like the playground crap of 'if your heads smaller than your hand then you have cancer" or other similar stuff.

[cia260895]

What a super post FuglyBaz - and a great insight into something I knew nothing about.

What does strike me is that a lot of people without Aspergers have got many of the traits (if that is the right description of them) that you have, but not quite to the same extremes.

I doubt many people have such a clear understanding of their own make-up as you seem to

Cheers Jakally.

I see a lot of people who demonstrate certain traits, but I think the key difference is the eccentricity levels in different people. Its a bloody tough subject to tackle, and I think that autism needs a lot more research to be carried out. there is so much ignorance to the subject. My dad doesnt understand it, nor does he want to, and this is my own dad! Older people especially do not understand it, they just think people are arseholes! It isnt like that at all.

I think the peaks are higher and the valleys are lower for people with Autism, much in the same way as they would be for people with Bipolar disorders, whereas 'normal' people tend to have more of a linear way of life, they are a little happier than normal or a little more depressed, but never one extreme or the other.

There are days where I still dont understand myself, and while I am happy to have this gift, it doesnt please anybody else around me unless they are interested in chess. My dad keeps telling me to go out and find random women to sleep with, but the truth is that I cant just go out like normal people and converse.....it doesnt happen. Its horrible to know that people can demonstrate such ignorance. I can converse well on internet  (well i try) but my verbal communication isnt so good unless it is about a subject I am passionate for or already have a lot of knowledge about. Chess is a language that is understood by all who play, even if they cannot understand language that is spoken, it is my way of communication.

One of the things that sucks really, is going out some place and all i think about is chess openings, and thinking over old games ive played in my head, while my few friends are out seeing women, getting trashed, going to parties and other things i cannot do. At least if I do eventually get a gf in chess, at least she will be smart. Sorry for going off a tangent, I am just typing what im feeling.....the thread isnt about me o apologise for droning on

[cia260895]

& to you Baz - those were fantastic posts & I only wish I had the courage to write completely honestly like that.

Have you ever read The Speed of Dark by Elisabeth Moon? I recommended it to a couple of friends with Autistc/Aspergers kids & they felt it gave them a bit more insight - despite it being fiction - the author's son is autistic.

I'd love to know your views on it.

Thats the beauty of the internet sometimes, although in my case I'm fairly open with most people who ask me anything.

I've never really read any books on Autism  to be honest. I've always felt that i coped fairly well in certain situations where other people struggle. Such as in employment for example. Well...up until last year anyway, untill I was unfairly dismissed (settled out of court).

A book that was recommended to me was called "A short history of nearly everything" by Bill Bryson. It says in there that geniuses like Einstein had autistic tendencies themselves, and it apparently reveals an interesting fact - Einstein never knew how to tie his shoe laces, up until the day that he died. And it is interesting, because while we can do these sometimes overly complex things in our life, we cannot comprehend something so simple as tying up shoe laces. I couldn't tie my laces till I was 8 funnily enough, but that was through laziness more than anything, but when i had to learn it took me a month, and I used a cardboard cut out of a shoe with laces on, to practise. My mom still reminds me of when I was in tears when I finally learned how to do it.

Another concept I failed to understand as a small child was the concept of silent reading. It sounds stupid, but I could not read without talking! I was always taught to read and talk so i could get my words out, then all of a sudden was told to not speak. I couldnt adjust.

I'll digress anyway...I should read that book. Ill look up Amazon and see if I can get a cheap copy

+1, great read, keep them coming please. Actually, you write really well.

You talk about not hanging around at parties and the like, what would you say is the main obstacle to this? Hope you don't mind these questions.

I dont mind the questions at all. If I feel uncomfortable at any point I'll say so

I really dont know what my biggest obstacle is. I could only list certain things that cause me emotional anxiety. If you had me at gunpoint and I had to say one, I would say my inability to keep constant eye contact. I know socially it is seen as a real bad thing to not make eye contact with someone, but it is painful for me to do so! I have to look at peoples foreheads in interviews and stuff....I cannot describe it. I also struggle to make conversation with people. I realise this is a problem for people with low self esteem anyway, but I have this fear of rejection or of boring people. I cant tell peoples emotions very well, and the worst thing (which has happened before) is to think Ive had a good conversation with someone, for them to then turn around and say what a boring ****. All because Ive gone on and on about something they have no interest in.

I also struggle with girls, which is the main reason I dont go out. It never used to be a problem when i was doing the music stuff, but I had a girlfriend so intended to be loyal despite some offers from some stunners. After a gig people wanted to talk about music so it was great for me because I could go on and on and on and people would listen. Everybody always had nice compliments for my playing, and more for the size of my kit. Im not an egomaniac by any means, but it was nice to feel normal, and the nice comments were welcomed.

Obviously, with other obsessions Ive had like darts, poker and now chess (which i hope will now be a life long one!) it is very much an individual thing where people arent so willing to talk to you. The only time people talked to me at darts was to criticise me for trying to play the pro circuit too soon.

To quote Oscar Wilde "Where nature leads you, you must go" - people didnt appreciate I was just doing what i felt I had to do. There is a survival instinct in darts and poker as well, every man for themselves. Very secretive in the way of talking about certain things. That always made things harder for me.

I seem to keep going on and on, sorry if this annoys anyone.

[cia260895]

but the truth is that I cant just go out like normal people and converse.....it doesnt happen...... I can converse well on internet (well i try) but my verbal communication isnt so good unless it is about a subject I am passionate for or already have a lot of knowledge about.

I then got interested in geography, and more specifically knowing the flags and capital cities for every country in the world

Well, I'm like this as well. I can't really talk to people I don't know in real life, I memorised capital cities, flags, prime numbers, pages of dictionaries etc when I was a kid. I'm also prone to exhibit other associated traits like not being able to empathise with people.

The thing is, I just don't think that's a medical condition. 'Being a bit obsessed with small stuff' is as little a medical condition as 'getting a bit sad sometimes' or 'getting angry from time to time'. I'm sure this trend to give everyone a little label with 'Syndrome X' on is just a way to get people to pay money for pills.

So you are not like the other things that have been mentioned? There is far more to it than just obsession/single mindedness, it is a psychological condition and is actually classed as a learning difficulty, god knows why though?!?

Your comment on paying for pills is a little unfair though mate. I dont have to take any medication for what I have, nor does any other sufferer of AS or Semantic Pragmatic Disorder that I've come across.

That wasn't specifically aimed at Aspergers - it's more a general 'you're not full of beans you must be ill have some happy pills' tendency within some who concern themselves with medicine.

Having had a look through the Wikipedia article on AS, I do have some of the other characteristics (poor sleep, physical awkwardness,  good visual perception, difficulty in identifying emotions) but fail at not being able to understand nonliteral language or irony or humor.

However, as AS can't be medically diagnosed for certain, and you don't need to tick all the boxes, that might be enough to qualify. If I were to go to a doctor and say 'I think I have Aspergers' he might decide I was right, even though I'd be lying.

[cia260895]

Really appreciating your posts Fugly, as a parent of 2 autistic kids I worry all the time how they will cope when they are adults and I have been carted off this mortal earth.

Do you mind if I ask how old you are and if you still live with your parents? If not what parts of day to day living do you find the most difficult to cope with?

At what age were you diagnosed (or werent you) and how did you feel when it was explained to you that you are "special". I ask because I am being pushed into explaining to my kids that they are different and although I think it might help my son I think my daughter will be very upset, she thought she was "normal" until she started her new school last month which is full of "geeks and freaks" as she put it but she has settled in nicely. I am leaving it to the experts where she is concerned.

I worry more for my son who is in mainstream school. He finds it very hard to cope with the noise mostly and making friends. He gets extremely upset when he gets beat at any games online and HAS to be the best at anything he does, a bit like yourself maybe?

I have loads of questions I want to ask.

Hi Suzanne, I'm 23 and still live with my parents. It's cheaper that way, and the only place of my own i can get is a council flat in a block full of smackheads. I'm happier with the company of my family for now (even if I am sat in my bedroom all the time like now)

There are still aspects of day to day living even at home that are difficult. I find travel difficult. Its not too bad if trains are on time and not too cramped, but I hate cramped spaces, and lateness. I'm not as bad as I used to be but I still get slightly agitated, but say to myself being agitated cannot get the train here faster. But before that, I would panic and everything. If you have ever heard a song called Cardiac Arrest by Madness, that was probably me three years ago. Now, I would be the same guy, but Id've taken the docs advice

I was diagnosed at the age of 5. Now it was real complicated what happened so Ill try to keep it simple as i can. I was a very happy baby, my mom and dad said I never once cried in my first two years. Always giggling and playful. Same when i got to the age of three, but I still hadn't spoken my first word yet. They took me to the doctors as they thought I may be deaf. My first memory I ever have from that age, was going to a specialised hearing xclinic, where they put these massive headphones on me, with a machine which produced a buzzing noise that was constant. While that was switched on, they had different shaped items which they banged on a metal tray to test that i could hear them. It was confirmed I wasnt deaf. Eventually I spoke my first words, however I couldnt pronounce anything correctly. Another barrage of tests ensued and I was told quite simply I had a speech impediment. Then some research was done and later it was confirmed to my parents that I had a condition known as Semantic Pragmatic Disorder. Very similar to Aspergers, but some subtle differences.

The worst part about all of this, my parents left me to go to school, be statemented so i could get help from Special needs and I never knew why because they wouldnt tell me! I was given extra time to cplete exams, and never knew anything as to why either. I only found out last year about all of this, and this was when i was sacked from my job. I went to a psychologist and explained everything after i'd looked into Semantics and Aspergers, and he said I do actually aspergers not SPD. Aspergers was unknown of back in 1989 and I fitted closest to SPD. In fact, when you are that age it is hard to tell any difference anyway.

I felt kind of relieved when i finally knew. What made want to find out, was because I had problems with my girlfriend (now my ex thank god). She screwed me up so bad mentally that I ended having three months off work for stress and depression. When i finally returned to work, everything in the office had changed - the working practise, what I had to say to customers, more log sheets to fill in, sales targets put on our heads and everything. And I got really really angry by this and i couldnt work out why. Every night after work I used to cry to myself thinking how on earth can i be like this and why. Im not being like this to be forceful or nasty, I just cant cope. I then told the parents, and said I was going to get help. thats when they hit me with it! I was put on disciplinary at work for my illness because I was on and off as I couldnt cope with the work. As soon as i was told I had AS, I told work that the problem is my distress at change, and if they give me enough time then I can get help to get through it. They chose the easy option and went through disciplinary stages as fast as they could!

I felt betrayed, and wished I'd known when I was a hell of a lot younger that I was different. School was so tough it was untrue. I started off at a special school called Glenmead, which had a Speech Therapy unit where I was at for two years. Everybody else had either behaviour problems, downs syndrome or other difficulties, with our common link being speech problems. After two years i was pretty much cured and asked to leave as my work was done. I joined year 2 with three weeks left to end of school year. Went into class and i still remember my first ever maths test, because I completed it 15 minutes faster than anybody else and got all the answers right with it. And the looks I got from everyone were not pleasant. I was never asked to play football with any of the other kids, when I did ask to play I never got a touch of the ball, I didnt speak to anybody. Primary school was much of the same thing, I was one of the brightest pupils but had no friends because nobody wanted to know me. There were a group of books produced by a company called GINN, levellled from 1-16. I remember in year 6, everybody was reading level 8 books, while I was reading level 13 and level 14. Sometimes i wished I was just one of them, I felt so isolated. I had a couple of friends, but they were the ones with above average intelligence.

The noise in school was always a problem for me too. I dont mind 'common' noise, but its when an unusual sound is very loud it is very distressful. I hate it when people shout, and even things like an untuned guitar can be very unpleasant to my ears, to an extent of being almost painful.

I dont have kids and never want any because I struggle looking after myself that i couldnt raise a kid, plus there is the issue of no woman wanting to know me but thats another issue best reserved for plastic surgeons people who can do personality transplants.  So I cant really advise on your son goig to mainstream school. All I can say is that despite all my problems, I am glad I went to a mainstream school because at least I was around 'normal' people. If I was at a a special school until age of 16 then I would not be what i am now. I certainly would get the same results, but I wouldnt have an understanding of the dos and donts in society. Going from special school to normal school at the age of 7 was tough, because normal kidsare so different. You have to communicate with them in different ways to 'normal' people and I hadnt learned how to change at that time. So can you imagine if I had to do the change at 16 rather than 7?? My life would be a nightmare.

ive touched on making friends already, but what i will say is thank god for the internet. It gives me a chance to develop friendships I never could before, and I can virtually do what I want online that i could in the real world. Some of the friends I have in person started off as online friendships...this wouldnt happen without the internet. As for losing and winning, I always want to win at any cost (except cheating/bad gamesmanship). If I lose, I dont mind losing to better players as long as I didnt make any unforced mistakes. But if I make mistakes or play below my best, that is where the problems start for me. I remember an instance on the Pro darts circuit, where I'd beaten somebody 4-0 in first round, and was so pissed off at myself for playing like a mug, that I had forgotten I'd won. I'm a perfectionist, and while I know nobody can be 100%, I want to be as close to that as I possibly can be.

Sorry for the waffle lol, any more questions please fire them to me, I dont mind

[cia260895]

That was a very enlightening post Fugly - it's always interesting to learn about other people's backgrounds on here.

This bit brought back memories for me.

They took me to the doctors as they thought I may be deaf. My first memory I ever have from that age, was going to a specialised hearing xclinic, where they put these massive headphones on me, with a machine which produced a buzzing noise that was constant. While that was switched on, they had different shaped items which they banged on a metal tray to test that i could hear them. It was confirmed I wasnt deaf.

Exactly the same thing happened when I was young - my mum thought there must be something wrong with my hearing because I didn't respond fully to what people said so I had the hearing test at the doctor's.

The noise in school was always a problem for me too. I dont mind 'common' noise, but its when an unusual sound is very loud it is very distressful. I hate it when people shout, and even things like an untuned guitar can be very unpleasant to my ears, to an extent of being almost painful.

The noise that gets to me is the type you get in busy pubs with a hundred conversations going on at once. In a big room, with bare walls, this sound bounces all around the room and makes it very difficult for me to concentrate on what one person is saying. Therefore I have a tendency to 'zone out' in such situations, which means I can get very quiet in big social groups - I'm generally the quietest person in any conversation of more than two people.

ive touched on making friends already, but what i will say is thank god for the internet. It gives me a chance to develop friendships I never could before, and I can virtually do what I want online that i could in the real world. Some of the friends I have in person started off as online friendships...this wouldnt happen without the internet.

I have noticed on another forum that I read that it does have a high proportion of people with AS, or who exhibit that type of personality, and the internet has been a godsend for them, enabling them to get to know people without the drawbacks of a live social situation. When they do actually meet up, it's a lot easier for them as the ice has already been broken online.

[cia260895]

Fuglybaz, if you don't feel comfortable answering these then no worries,my reasons for asking are that my son is borderline A.S and is going through it at school at the moment.

No probs at all

How did you cope with the bullying at school?

Truth is I coped very badly . I would never fight back, or bite. I would just burst into tears, which obviously made them do it more and more.

How long did it go on for?

It went on from when I started normal school at age of 7, until I finally left school at 17 (I left while doing A levels because of the bullying). It stopped when I changed schools half way through my first year of A levels, because nobody knew me so I was alright. However some of the kids from my old school went to my new schools 6th form, and the problems started again. Chavs, I fricking hate them!

What do you think caused it?

Jealousy, easy target, too honest etc. Jealousy because I was much cleverer than them (though theyd hate to admit they were jealous), I was an easy target because of the fact I wear glasses and was no good at sports . Plus being very quiet and not willing to fight back  etc.

Was there any complications apart from the bullying you incurred whilst you were at school i;e not paying attention and missing info especially if homework was given out.

There were a few complications. I lost motivation to do any work. Through year 10 I thought to myself, Im gonna doss around and not do any work and I might get some respect off the bullies. That is how low I felt! Stopped doing homework and everything. The teachers knew something was wrong, and finally in year 11 it was sorted, but they feared it was too late for me to get good grades. I put paid to that eventually getting near 95% in most exams to make up for no coursework! Lucky escape really.

I ended up walking home from school some nights which was hard as it was a 90 minute walk, because I couldnt endure the school bus bullying. Had all sorts done to me, hair sprayed then almost set alight. One time I was walking down stairs to get off bus, and someone grabbed my bag from above me dangling me in the air, then dropping me! Been spat on, had coins thrown at me, milkshake and drinks spilled on me, rulers on back of the head, let alone the constant name calling. Getting a normal bus was just as bad, and the teachers didnt want to do nothing about it!

How was you at sport?

I was riubbish at football, but eventually learned if I wanted the ball I had to tackle. I did get in the A squad but never got a game. I think they did it to shut me up, but i was hurt when I asked the teacher when I'd play . He said to me "when we are 6-0 up, then you can play". That killed me inside. I was alright at basketball, but was told I was too short and that i would just be knocked about. So I was never really a sport player, more games like Snooker and Pool which I was very good at.

What changes would you make looking back on your educational years

I wish I'd taken my dads advice and just put a block of wood to one of the tossers heads then all this would have stopped.

Seriously, I dont know what i could change. Maybe year 10 continuing to work hard like i did before that, but I dont know how I could change my mindset to carry on. The teachers were fed up of me complaining about bullying, and I couldnt carry on. All the other schools were just as bad so there was no point switching.

What advice would you give to someone with A.S to get through the school years?

It feels rich me giving advice about how to handle school. All I would try to do is maybe try and just get involved in what you can sport wise. Just try and kick the ball about at breaktimes to try and fit in. And dont get upset like I did if you dont get involved. Basically try as hard as you can to hide any emotions you feel. That is very hard to do and I couldnt do it. And ALWAYS TELL THE TEACHERS if there is a problem! Dont resort to violence, but Im sure youll tell your son that anyway

Do you have a large circle of friends?

I dont really at all. I have two proper friends I had from my time playing darts, one of them is a World Champion, although I aint spoke to him for a while. (I wont namedrop). I have some friends Ive made through chess, but other than that i really dont speak to anybody. All the guys from my music days still havent grown up, and I dont wish to associate with people who act like babies when they are 23. I refuse to be dragged down by them and their playground antics.

Do you feel uncomfortable looking into peoples eyes when yr talking to them?

Yep, very much so. This is one of the worst things for me as a person. It is borderline painful sometimes to look at people in the eye, I just cannot do it. I cant explain why. When i go to interviews and stuff, my solution is to look at the persons forehead who I am speaking to. At least this way you are looking towards them. Maybe that could be good advice for your son if hes struggling with looking at people, look at their foreheads, much the same way as you would look at a clock if you were nervous during a presentation.

The only people I never feel uncomfortable looking at in the eyes are the girls that I have been out with. Because they are the only people I have felt I can trust 100% and I obviously want to look at them

When did you have your 1st proper relationship with a girl?

My first relationship was when i was 17. But my first one which lasted more than a month due to them being cheating slags was when I was 18. Funny enough it was my 18th birthday when I met a girl called Sam, who was to be the love of my life for the next 3 years, until I split up with her the day before my 21st birthday. She was a lying bitch who went on GMTV saying how she was over certain issues, then would go back to the same old things afer appearing on the show. She tormented me mentally, and I couldnt break away from it, until the day i had enough the day before my 21st. Havent had a girlfriend since, havent even had contact with a girl despite all my effort. I just cannot be bothered to try no more, I want a smart girl, no dout Ill be waiting a long time.

Would you say you would be more comfortable in  a relationship with a girl with A.S

As Ive said before, Aspergers is a gift not a disability. Yes we have impairments but we also can be far more talented than other people, so I wouldnt look at the girl as one with AS. I would see her for her. There would be certain things that would make a relationship better, and some things worse. We would understand each other better and our passions would be supported by one another. Ive never met a girl with any form of autism without knowing it, so I couldnt really say.

[suzanne]

Ian luv ...even I dont understand what you are saying here.

Have you "bold printed" the stuff that Charlie agrees with?

One thing I would like to point out is that 1 of the main problems throughout my daughters school life is that she refuses to do homework (1 of the main reasons she is in a special school now)..school is for school work...home is not for school work..end off.

Years and years of trying to get her to read her reading book or do simple sums at home failed dismally. She would quite happily read magazines and do kids quiz/maths books bought from the local shop though etc

I think you might have the same problem with the guitar lessons...try having a chat with your sons tutor and explaining the situation. If he could have the odd lesson at home it will solve the sitution but come up with a good excuse..ie guitar studio has no money to pay electric bill or something..that way you can say this weeks electrics is on next week its off so you need to have a lesson at home...any excuse to get it into his mind that guitar is fun and can be done at class or home.

[cia260895]

Sy should have explained it a bit better all the above quotes that have been highlighted in BOLD type are the bits from the thread that Charlie highlighted

[cia260895]

Baz you have mentioned work a couple of times,  i was wondering what type of work you have done and are currently doing?

If you had a choice what type of job would you most like to do? (chess/poker not included in this question)

[Claw75]

... prone to exhibit other associated traits like not being able to empathise with people.

The thing is, I just don't think that's a medical condition. 'Being a bit obsessed with small stuff' is as little a medical condition as 'getting a bit sad sometimes' ... just a way to get people to pay money for pills.

Have you ever read Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel?

It gives quite a good insight into the problems of, 'getting a bit sad sometimes', but it also covers a bit about just getting people to pay money for pills (not just to make money - it can also be a bit of a quick fix)

The one show on BBC1 now discussing stigma attached to mental illness - pretty interesting.