On the blackberry, small screen but better than working! I'm becoming a very good sciver. Infact dave you can be my new hero after the great job you did at norwich union! Any work shy tips for me?
First off, find a job that none of your immediate bosses or peers know how to do, and make out it is ten times harder and takes ten times longer than it does.
Then, occasionally start tutting and angrily shaking your head at your monitor, as if you are having a really bad day.
Give work related codenames to non work things. When my friend said to me 'you need to authorise a GYP' it actually meant 'lets read someones private emails that we have access to', 'I need you to check the VCP chart' meant lets go down for a coffee outside of breaktimes.
ALWAYS walk around with a file or worky looking piece of paper in your hand. If you are caught somewhere you shouldnt be, make it look like you are counting something in your head then write something on the paper.
If you cant be bothered to do something, pull a wire out the back of your computer and occassionally ring up the IT department saying "I need this back online in the next hour, can I raise the prority of it" Nobody is bright enough to look at the back of the PC and if you plug it in when the IT guy comes upstairs, you can just say 'typical, it starts working as soon as you get here'
If you have spent an entire morning doing nothing, instead of claiming to have done something, moan relentlessly saying "Ive got nothing done this morning" - nobody will think you are bragging and assume you have been been trying to work, but something unavoidable got in the way.
My favourite was always booking meeting rooms when you fancy having a chat. Take some files with you and nobody will ever disturb you in a meeting room.
All of which makes everyone think you are working really hard, and few people ever question otherwise.
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