Gambling genetic/Degen mate

[gribbo]

Hi,
    Basically looking for a bit of advice regarding my mate, he is a massive gambler and always in the casino etc. His gambling has gotten out of control over the last few months and he has dropped out of uni for the second time (did it last year as well, he is technically in 4th year.) He also has cleaned out my blonde account playing online roullette a few times and shipped me the money for it.

He used to just bet small like min table bet but now its £30+ a hand and he can have massive swings at the casino (+- £500), he is adamant he does not have a gambling problem and says that it is genetic cause his parents both gamble (they took him to casino for 18th) and is stubborn/fiery as hell when i confront him about it.

Tbh im looking for advice how to deal with him the writing is on the wall for him and its such a massive waste seeing him being in such a state with/due to gambling. None of my other mates 'gamble' etc and don't understand hence why i am posting on here. I know with any addiction its just trying to get over it and keep urself occupied with other stuff, but he's telling me its his life/money etc and he has little interest ie no burd/sports/ etc outwith of gambling.

Even though im a bit of a lurker on this site need some advice etc regarding my mate, even advice if any of you guys have managed to get over a gambling addiction.

[Horneris]

even advice if any of you guys have managed to get over a gambling addiction.

sigh, not yet.

GL to your mate Kieran.

[GreekStein]

Hi mate,

this sounds a little bit like how I became in my second year at uni minus the gambling with my mates money bit.

I just couldn't see that what I was doing was destructive and it became a routine that I couldn't get out of.

One of my housemates rang my parents to tell them how I was behaving and whilst I hated him for a few hours after I soon realised he just did it because he was a good mate. Incidentally it was the best thing for me.

I worry that your mates parents are gamblers because they may be the only people who can put him on the right path again but might be worth doing what I said?

Another mate of mine had a problem with casinos and I spent one night with him going round to all where he was able to exclude himself

[Girgy85]

Self exclusion from casinos is the way forward! You are being a god friend but the decision must be his! I know a few people that have banned themselves from casinos and has helped them so all the best to your friend and stick by him and help him get through this!

[MC]

Ultimately man, you can only do so much, and he has to have the willpower to stop

He has to draw a line under what he's lost. I went through a phase a couple of years ago where I was spewing money on non-poker gambling, and you literally have to just tell yourself to stop. But then I always knew I was going to go back to poker, which is obv a form of gambling so maybe it's a bit different.

Banning himself from casinos sounds good, but then you have to combat online gambling. There is a post office account you can get where you can withdraw money from ATMs, but it doesn't work in shops/online etc. A combination of these two might help?

Gamblers anonymous ftw?

[Dubai]

Just make him realise at least his life wont be boring.

[EvilPie]

Self exclusion may seem like a good idea but it won't stop your mate being a gambler.

All it does is prevent him from doing from he wants to do or even craves to do.

This will only help if he actually wants to quit gambling. I did the same myself a few years back but at the time I genuinely wanted to stay out of the casinos. The reason for the self exclusion was that I knew I couldn't trust myself when I'd had a few beers.

Self exclusion imo is like wearing a nicotine patch. It's just there as an aid to someone who wants to quit. It won't make you quit in itself.

What you need to do is find out if your mate wants to quit. Does he know that he's got a problem? If he doesn't even think he has a problem he is not going to quit and certainly won't thank you for telling him that he should.

The best thing you can do is leave him for now and wait until he starts to think he may have a problem. As soon as he does you can then be there for him to help him through it.

Believe me at some point he will realise he has a problem. It's usually when the money runs out.

As long as his gambling isn't affecting anyone else just leave him to it and be there to help him when he actually wants your help.

[bolt pp]

just let him do his own thing, if he wont ever realise himself then he wont listen to anyone else thats for sure.

If he does then it'll take time and he'll have to get there on his own, i used to be like him when i was 16/17, the last person i would listen to is someone banging on about: "shouldnt you stop now" etc, when ive been in the betting shop for 5 hours doing my bollox.

but you get there yourself, you become tired of losing and a lot more discerning in what you bet on and how much, you assess where you've got an edge and utilise that to make a profit whereas you may always have had an edge at something but it was always cancelled out by all the disposable/impetuous bets you've had in the mean time.

poker also helps, everyone wants to win at gambling, find a system that never loses etc, and i think when you discover poker you realise how -EV all the "interest" bets are you have and start to see them as a leak.

i stopped being like this when i was about 18/19 probs as i just got tired of it, i'm adamant that's it's just one of those things that you come to a realisation about and snap out of it, i stopped going to the betting shop for recreational bets, stopped playing fruit machines all together, only went to catford when i really fancied the card, i just got tired of losing and all the shit it caused.

your mate will get there or he wont, what i would say is forget about any intervention crap and gamblers anonymous and self exclusion, that wont help anyone imo.

just let him do his thing, you cant make him see it now but if he can turn a pound note at poker and is half clued up then he'll get there himself

[Rookie (Rodney)]

Gribbo, do I know you?

Bolt - fancy a night at Crayford next Saturday?? I backed Aero Blackjack 50/1 antepost for the Golden Jacket and its in final on Saturday...

[bolt pp]

Gribbo, do I know you?

Bolt - fancy a night at Crayford next Saturday?? I backed Aero Blackjack 50/1 antepost for the Golden Jacket and its in final on Saturday...

i dont know what im doing Saturday night yet but will def be up for it mate if im not going anywhere, i'll let you know closer to the time, what price is the dog now? i haven't followed the golden jacket this year

[gribbo]

Gribbo, do I know you?

Bolt - fancy a night at Crayford next Saturday?? I backed Aero Blackjack 50/1 antepost for the Golden Jacket and its in final on Saturday...

Haha never met u or anything mate, u helped me transfer small amount of $ from tilt to stars as my neteller was knackered. Cheers for the comments tbh it is up to my mate just painful to see my mate hooked on heading to casino 24/7 and having mood swings etc cause of it.

[Rookie (Rodney)]

Gribbo, do I know you?

Bolt - fancy a night at Crayford next Saturday?? I backed Aero Blackjack 50/1 antepost for the Golden Jacket and its in final on Saturday...

i dont know what im doing Saturday night yet but will def be up for it mate if im not going anywhere, i'll let you know closer to the time, what price is the dog now? i haven't followed the golden jacket this year

Its about or 10s for the final. I only picked it for a bit of interest but its in final now and I want e/w money at least!

Drop me a pm nearer to saturday. I'll try and make it to the track on Saturday rather than crashing en route.

[Acidmouse]

Self Exclusion works for some, I did it on all the poker clients with casino's attached to them, they were bad for me to donk off my poker winnings.

Whenever I am tempted for a quick fix at home there is nothing I can do, the feeling of wanting to gamble soon goes away.

[Royal Flush]

Gribbo, do I know you?

Bolt - fancy a night at Crayford next Saturday?? I backed Aero Blackjack 50/1 antepost for the Golden Jacket and its in final on Saturday...

How was it 50's!!! Sigh

I got a mate Dave who is a bit of a degen gambler as well, he just embraces though and calls it life, it seems his main aim is to spend as much money in bars/clubs/restaurants so he can't lose it gambling, good system imo

[phatomch]

Gribbo, do I know you?

Bolt - fancy a night at Crayford next Saturday?? I backed Aero Blackjack 50/1 antepost for the Golden Jacket and its in final on Saturday...

How was it 50's!!! Sigh

I got a mate Dave who is a bit of a degen gambler as well, he just embraces though and calls it life, it seems his main aim is to spend as much money in bars/clubs/restaurants so he can't lose it gambling, good system imo

The peasant