Want me to suffer ??

[amcgrath1uk]

Just got in ... Stopped off at Luton to see a few friendly faces and get some grief LOL


Trip report on the way !!

well done Kev!!

[celtic]

Just got in ... Stopped off at Luton to see a few friendly faces and get some grief LOL


Trip report on the way !!

LOL, you've had the shit AND piss taken out of you today then...

[Colchester Kev]

Arrived at the clinic before Trace, gave me 10 bloody minutes to fret some more ... All joking aside, I was bloody petrified. Lets face it, the thought of someone WHO I KNOW opening my arse cheeks, sticking a tube up there and watching the contents of my bowels being washed out is a bit nerve racking to say the least !!  But i just kept telling myself why i was doing it, and basically ended up just saying to myself  "Get a fucking grip Shepherd, You are probs going to experience a few minutes discomfort, imagine the pain and discomfort young Reece goes through and has gone through ... Stop being a pussy and JFDI"


So, Trace arrives and as she gets out of her car, she has the biggest grin on her face i have ever seen, if it was midnight she would have lit the sky with her smile!.
I didnt know whether that was comforting or made me even more nervous LOL...

We go into the clinic and Trace gives me a tour ... upstairs we go where they do all the permanent make up and eybrow shaping etc etc ... as we get to the top of the stairs, I realise it is training day and a woman is sat in a chair (getting her moustache waxed or something) and surrounded by about 8 trainees/therapists ... oh marvellous, I think as one says "Hello trace, Have you got a treatment?" ... Yes, at that moment everyone turns and looks at me !!  FML I think.

Trace informs them that I have been sponsored to do it, and I add "Yes, I am not doing it voluntarily" ... I think, (well I hope) I convinced them.


Then we go back downstairs into the treatment room (nice looking gaffe, very posh and upmarket)  and Trace tells me to take a seat at the desk so she can give me my pre treatment briefing .....

To be continued.

[booder]

 

[mondatoo]

Immense imo,vwp dingdell and kev great stuff 

[mondatoo]

Immense imo,vwp dingdell and kev great stuff 

And i dont mean the stuff that come out his arse

[biscuit898]

 

[Colchester Kev]

Before I go any further, I have to big up Dingdell, totally totally 100% professional and clearly at the top of her field.... for insta donating the treatment Trace, TY so much.


Trace went through the procedure with me step by step, she had a diagram of the intestines and explained everything to me about the hows, whys and wheres our body deals with waste etc ... I was bloody amazed, the things we take for granted that go on inside our bodies is amazing... I learnt lots today !

Briefing over, and it was time, I had to go in to the cubicle, rag off completely below the waist and emerge with a towel wrapped round me ... I did laugh when Trace shouted through, "you can leave your socks on if you like" LOL,  yeah ... thanks !

I emerge from the cubicle, and make my way over to the treatment table .. "FML, this is really happening" I thought as I climbed up, and draped in a towel I shuffled my way into position.

Now ... this was the moment, Trace asks me do I want to see the tubes, etc so I know whats happening ... "do I fuck" i think but manage not to blurt it out, I just say "No ta, i dont want to see anything or I will run a mile".

Trace told me to take a deep breath in and then breath out with my mouth wide open ... and GULP it was in !!  It wasnt the most pleasant thing i have ever had done tbh, and although trace had told me how far it goes in etc, it felt like it was going to come out of my mouth !

That was it , the tube was in .... Then I say "SHIT Trace" ... she laughs and says give me a chance, but I explain I never sang bring me sunshine for that sadistic bastard Trumper, Trace makes me feel great when she says, "oh dont worry, i will break off the treatment after a while, you take a break then we do it again, you can sing it then" ... AGAIN, AGAIN FFS she never told me I had to get it up the jacksy twice ffs.

Pipe in ... attachments secured, My eyes firmly shut....   then Trace says "Right then just going to let the water in for 3 seconds , are you ready ?"

What could I say ... so through clenched teeth and an obviously unclenched arse I said "YES"


to be continued ...

[Colchester Kev]

No words are needed.

[faireycakes]

fair play old bean

[Dingdell]

The alternative colonic story


Knowing that I have agreed with Kev to meet him at the Mk clinic at 2pm I for some reason put the appointment in at 4pm in my diary.

Surfing Blonde on 1.15pm in Northampton I realise I should be in the car and half way there by now so I duly load up the car with incontinence pads, speculums, extra lube, sterilising kits and fluffy towels large enough to cover any self respecting card room managers embarrassment.

I’ve got my foot down and exceeding the speed limit set in most European countries when I get a call at 1.50 from Kev saying he is lost. Unluckily for me he is in the right place but just in the wrong part of the car park. I tell him I’m on the motorway when in fact I’m not on it yet, and that I will only be a couple of minutes. He sounds very nervous. I leave him to ponder on what is to happen and wind himself up some more while I slow down to 15 miles an hour and meander my way to Milton Keynes. 

I arrive at work having stopped for lunch, filled up with fuel and given a hitch hiker a lift to Aberdeen. Kev is pacing in the car park, not wanting to go into the clinic.

[ ] He looks relaxed. 

I take a large box from the car which just on its own freaks him out. Having ascertained that Kev doesn’t have an unnatural fear of cardboard boxes I realise he is actually very nervous and not putting it on for comedic value.

[X] This makes me laugh out loud

I realise that diversionary tactics are required, lets face it a nervous person = a tight bottom = difficult insertion = nightmare treatment.  I decide to give him a tour of the clinic and take his mind off the impending treatment. The permanent make up section upstairs are running a training day and it will be full of women/norkage. Ideal. I lead Kev upstairs (the one and only time you will hear me say that) and start to show him round.

Unfortunately my colleague Nilam asks me in front of everyone if Kev is a client and they all turn to look as Kev as his colour changes swiftly from pale to red to ashen as he realises his fate is known to all these nubile women. I turn back to say something to Nilam, turn round again to speak to Kev to see him heading down the stairs so quickly the only thing I can see of him is a disappearing bald patch as he descends into the gloom of the stairwell. He’s off, so in an attempt to rein him in I quickly run down the stairs and cut him off at the main door, gently steering him into the colonic room.

Having locked the door to stop Kev escaping ensure that no one comes into the room during the colonic we sit down and talk about the science bit. Kev is obviously trying to delay the inevitable. I know this because he pretends to look interested and ask lots of questions – anyone who knows Kev will know that this is not normal behaviour.

Kev admits that he was praying that he had won the lottery that week so he could just pay the money to Maureen and not go through with the session.

Eventually we get to the part where I instruct him to go and get changed and then we’ll start the treatment. As he disappears I put on some soothing music and wait for him to come out of the changing room. I wait. And wait. And wait. Eventually he reappears and gets onto the table, I check the changing room and note he has tried to remove the air conditioning unit from the wall and climb out through the hole in the wall. No joy though as pre colonic he is too big to get through.

[X] FAIL.

Kev presents me with a Blonde Poker sticky logo badge and I feel like I’ve been presented with a Blue Peter badge. As there is one going spare I suggest we stick it on his bum and take a picture. Kev is not up for this and, I realise the fact that I am and suggested it, means I definitely need to get out more.

What happens after this I am not able to disclose as all treatments are confidential. Suffice to say Kev’s nervousness means he fluffs using the camera or doing any singing and when I ask him to turn away from me onto his left side so I can do the insertion he turns the wrong way and ends up facing me.

All in all I think it was an ok experience for him. If anyone else wants to raise money for a worthy cause in this way get in touch. 

[The_nun]

 Well done Kev and a massive thanks to you for doing this. Also thanks Tracey for making it possibly. We are very very grateful for all the effort you have gone to. Also thanks to everyone for sponsering Kev, hopefully it wont be too long before we can get him away, hopefully abroad but if not to start with a break in this country may have to suffive until  he is machine free again.


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[madasahatstand]

Hilarious! Well done Kev but very well done to Tracey, youre a brave woman

[booder]

Trace, tell us the bit about Kev crying please

[boldie]

Trace, tell us the bit about Kev crying please

[X] this is all we care about