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Dingdell
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« on: May 05, 2009, 06:21:39 PM » |
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Just seen a pair of birds trying to mate balanced on a telephone line. WTF? Surely the roof top, fence, bush would be easier?
Is this the equivalent of humans trying to have sex on a hammock?
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Robert HM
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« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2009, 06:23:13 PM » |
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Just seen a pair of birds trying to mate balanced on a telephone line. WTF? Surely the roof top, fence, bush would be easier?
Is this the equivalent of humans trying to have sex on a hammock?
Nah it's the chandelier version of birdy sex. You voyeur! |
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pokerfan
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« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2009, 06:39:00 PM » |
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On holiday in Cuba the bird is eating a banana when she turns round and says to me "oo it tastes just like the ones we get at home"
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Nakor
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« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2009, 06:52:44 PM » |
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Coming home from Ibiza the Bird turns to me says "what are clouds made from?".
The bloke in the seat in front spat Beer all over his Bird.
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Shit post Nakor, such a clown.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? |
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gatso
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« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2009, 07:04:41 PM » |
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watching tv and the bird says "does boxing hurt?"
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If you get to the yeasty clunge you've gone too far
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Claw75
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« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2009, 07:06:03 PM » |
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sigh - what have you done now Trace!?!?!?
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"Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon....no matter how good you are the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway"
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pokerfan
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« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2009, 07:18:09 PM » |
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Another one from last week,
me: ill just ring my sister
bird: no point shes gone to Alton Towers
me: oh right
bird: yeah its one of the twins birthday
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HOLDorFOLD
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« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2009, 09:10:54 PM » |
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Another one from last week,
me: ill just ring my sister
bird: no point shes gone to Alton Towers
me: oh right
bird: yeah its one of the twins birthday
 (Although it has been know for one twin to be born on one day and the other on the next (or even a few days later)   ) |
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“Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
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KarmaDope
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« Reply #8 on: May 05, 2009, 10:09:05 PM » |
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The bird at the time (my ex), who has an A Level in Maths I should add, turned to me one day and said:
"What's 5% of 100??"
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cia260895
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« Reply #9 on: May 05, 2009, 10:20:44 PM » |
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I was with this bird once when a documentry about flamingoes came on,
she said why do they always stand on 1 leg?
i replied calmly "well if they lifted the other 1 they would fall over"
10 seconds later
She replied "oh i always wondered that"
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paulhouk03
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« Reply #10 on: May 07, 2009, 11:04:11 AM » |
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I was with this bird once when a documentry about flamingoes came on,
she said why do they always stand on 1 leg?
i replied calmly "well if they lifted the other 1 they would fall over"
10 seconds later
She replied "oh i always wondered that"
i didnt know birds could talk |
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Just me
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MKKfish
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« Reply #11 on: May 07, 2009, 11:12:44 AM » |
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I was with this bird once when a documentry about flamingoes came on,
she said why do they always stand on 1 leg?
i replied calmly "well if they lifted the other 1 they would fall over"
10 seconds later
She replied "oh i always wondered that"
i didnt know birds could talk It's permissable if all the washing and ironing is done. |
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EvilPie
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« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2009, 01:38:51 PM » |
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Watching wildlife on tele and there were some meerkats doing their standing up looking around thing.
The ex asked "why do they stand up like that".
I said it:
"so that they can keep an eye out for eagles and things. It's a predator / prey type thing"
The reply.....
"I never knew that meerkats ate eagles"
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Motivational speeches at their best:
"Because thats what living is, the 6 inches in front of your face......" - Patrick Leonard - 10th May 2015
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gatso
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« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2009, 01:44:26 PM » |
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Watching wildlife on tele and there were some meerkats doing their standing up looking around thing.
The ex asked "why do they stand up like that".
I said it:
"so that they can keep an eye out for eagles and things. It's a predator / prey type thing"
The reply.....
"I never knew that meerkats ate eagles"
winner |
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If you get to the yeasty clunge you've gone too far
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biscuit898
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« Reply #14 on: May 16, 2009, 03:04:58 PM » |
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Watching wildlife on tele and there were some meerkats doing their standing up looking around thing.
The ex asked "why do they stand up like that".
I said it:
"so that they can keep an eye out for eagles and things. It's a predator / prey type thing"
The reply.....
"I never knew that meerkats ate eagles"
thats hilarious! |
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