I used to be a poker player

I more or less became a poker pro back in around 2001 when I finally broke free from what you may call a meaningless existence. That drastic move also ensured that I went from a secure future that had taken twenty-five years to build, to journey that was uncertain in every aspect of life. I guess you would call it an all or nothing desperate plunge into the unknown. The funny thing was (or not so funny), was that I was actually starting with nothing to begin with.

What I did have, was twenty-five years experience of playing poker. That mainly came by way of small re-buy events and small cash games. In that time, I went from a maniac re-buy merchant, to super-tight and everywhere in between. It was fun. Why shouldn’t it have been? I had a business and a home and what seemed to be an ability to generate win after win. Actually, it was more than fun; it was seriously good.

Having begun life as an addicted gambler while still in my teens, I made mistake after mistake in my twenties and perhaps the odd one or two when in my thirties. Admittedly, my personal life didn’t help matters. Unhappy in the marriage and unsatisfied by the lack of challenges (other than those of working 12 hours a day in a fish&chip shop), I perhaps had what could be deemed as justifiable cause.

But at least by then, circumstances had dictated that mistakes were no longer an option. I guess that after years of paying for my mistakes, I had had enough of all interest I occurred. With a change in mindset, I took money management to new levels. Not only did it help secure the future, but it speeded it up to warp drive. I almost began to feel a sense of pride at the achievements. I even tried harder with the marriage, but it still felt that I was playing 7-2 out of position. Though 7-2 would bring the odd reward, it was getting harder and knowing there must be a better hand in life. I finally mucked that 7-2 for the last time in the summer of 2000.

I wont bother you all with what happened when I did turn pro (that always makes me laugh - how can one be a “pro” without a bankroll?), suffice it was a stellar eighteen months as win after win came my way.

I even found a relationship that felt like A-A every hand. But when A-A needed a third player with little tiny feet, it left me feeling that I needed to flop a set each time. When you start to doubt you are not the right person to play A-A, then I guess it’s time to walk away from the game. That was tough. I loved A-A so much. It sent me off the rails as well as back to playing 7-2 again. Only this time I was playing it alone. Not sure which 7-2 was worse, but I knew which one I would be playing for a long time to come. If I was still in the game that is!

I wont bother you with more personal details (just in case I finish the book I started years ago), but I somehow managed to walk into another A-A relationship. What was surprising, was that I found this one in Vegas of all places. Of course I didn’t know it at the time, but it soon became apparent when I surprisingly kept flopping set after set. I had struck gold in Vegas after all.

By around 2006, I didn’t feel like a poker player anymore, even though I played online to survive. I just didn’t want the circuit anymore. I was happy at home with my beautiful sets. In fact, the relationship started to river the odd quads every now and then. In time, I was hitting quads on the flop. Who was this woman? How did I find her? How lucky was I?

I think with this new-found contentment, poker had to take a back seat. After all, this was something that I had hoped for all my life - I just never knew it existed. I don’t mean to suggest that my quad queen was to blame for my lack of poker life, as there were many other contributing factors. Creating new games was one of them. In fact when my partner (Phil Hellmuth), suggested that I forget about poker and focus on creating more games, it was an easy call to make. But perhaps above all else, health issues increased to the point where I don’t think I could have continued with the lifestyle. This was highlighted by a five day stint in hospital. I don’t think death itself scared me, but I sure felt an immense anger at what it would mean. There was so much left unfinished, so much yet to do. It was the warning that I needed.

It took so much effort to get into shape. Having allowed my body to lose all muscle tone, I had one setback after another. One week it would be the hamstring, then the shoulder, then the back etc etc tec. This would normally tough for a young guy to handle, never mind in mid-life. But at least I had my massage therapist to guide me and to help heal my ailments. What a woman!. It my have cost me $15K a year for four years, but I would rather starve than miss out on her sessions.

Anyway, slowly but surely, things have started to come together. The games company now six of my games and an option on a further half dozen at least. Suffice to say, we aim to change online poker in major way.

As for the body, that has finally been transformed. In fact, I feel like asking Gus if he is willing to have another boxing match. Of course I would need odds of to reflect the age difference and the fact that I still smoke (shamed to admit that one); but I reckon $10K for $250K should just about be fair.

As for poker, things started to change late last year when I won a seat on Stars for the PCA in Bahamas. I had to miss that event due to being in the process of obtaining my Green Card (which I now have), but at least I started to sense a little hunger for the game. With the WSOP now upon us and only playing one event this year (I think it’s just one), you could say that I am starving for poker. I don’t know if the hunger will last, but if it does, it will provide material for my other passion of writing.

How long can I remain be a poker player again, I simply can’t say. Sometimes, I feel like I want to go flat out for a year and see if I can do it one more time. And sometimes, I feel like I don’t need it. I guess with contentment, the ego no longer needs fueling. But perhaps its more than that, perhaps back in 2002, I was still searching for an identity and my place in life? Perhaps I have found both?. But just perhaps, I miss the challenge that the poker offers - who knows?

Anyway, I look forward to the six-handed event on Wednesday when I kick off with my first event. I hope I stay hungry and that I won’t need a Alka-Seltzer after week.

Until next time (yes there will at least one next time), play well and stay hungry if you can!

Peter (is it Silverfox or The Poet?) Costa