Snattys unfeasibly long and banal Vegas posts

[Geo the Sarge]

Mr Cooklin sir,

fantastic writing and there is no one I am rooting for more to do well. Very best of luck.

P.S.

I am an ironing freak, I love it and do all the ironing in the home.....................and yes, you're spot on regards womens tops............very irritating.

Geo

[Snatiramas]

Good morning from Sin city. I stayed up until 10pm.. Just. Having unpacked and written up the journey, I thought I had better stick to the original plan of staying up and not do what my head was screaming to do which was fall asleep . No poker. Phone home at around 10pm. So I unpack  and head downstairs to kill some time. First person I see is Jonny Vac a Luton regular grinding it out in $1/$2 NL hold em game. He says he has been up and down on the trip. He looks well for someone who has been here for quite a while.

Vegas is starting to hum. It is after all independence day weekend and there is going to be a huge influx of people. I really like the range of people you meet here. All walks of life. All ages. It is easy to be holier than thou about Vegas but it is only here because it serves a purpose. I go for a Pizza. It is now 8 pm. Time for a hot bath and a bit of telly. Start snoozing in front of the tv. Get through to Amma and we chat for a few minutes. Not too much news.

Get into bed. Fall asleep almost immediately. Wake up to a hell of a racket from outside. Sounds like building work. 4am. Not happy. Rollover and go back to sleep until 6am. Now I am wide awake so decide not to waste the time and put on some shorts and a top and go for a walk up the strip. I need to merge in so I put on my Leicester Tigers t shirt. The thing that you just can’t believe about Vegas is the scale. From my bedroom widow it looks like I can just touch Caesars palace. On ground level it takes  forever to walk there and even longer to walk past it. It is 6.15am and it is already hot in the shade.

The strip is an interesting melange of drunks coming home and early risers out running and walking before another baking day. I see a very fit older guy running down a street festooned in calling cards for various women all of whom are flashing a lot of plastic. I see two security guards arresting a natural blonde with dyed roots who is not coming quietly.
Then I see it. In all its glory. The whole side of the Flamingo covered  with a picture of Donny and Marie. Why do we start to think that we might like things that we used to hate. I couldn’t stand the Osmonds and luckily for you lot I still can’t. I walk as far as the Mandalay Bay and cross the road to walk back the other side.

It is really warm as I walk in the sunshine. I can see a situation developing a little way up ahead. It smells of trouble so I head straight into New York, New York. First rule of any trip on your own is to avoid areas that look like trouble. The great thing about Vegas is you just walk into any casino and you are surrounded by security and cameras. I come out of New York and go  into the gardens at Caesars. They are lovely. Caesars is monstrously large. Or at least gives the feel of being so. I intend to play there at some point.

With a nice sweat on I arrive back at the Venetian. I like this hotel. As I arrive back up on the 32nd floor I notice that the layout is a little like Strangeways in that corridors of rooms leave a central circular area like spokes of a wheel. I worry about my brain sometimes.
Anyway it is time for breakfast and then what I really came here to do. Play some poker.

[Karabiner]

That'll be porridge for breakfast then..

I adore your style of writing Phil, keep posting frequently please and tell us more about the trouble that you swerved.

[Snatiramas]

Poker is without doubt the most maddening of games and it has long been my belief that you have to be some sort of sadomasochist to play it. As I have stated before on this forum you have to be willing to give and receive the most amazing levels of pain. The problem is that pain takes many different forms. Sometimes a slow torture, sometimes a couple of quick blows and that’s it.

Well last night was made up off a lot of the former followed by a little of the latter but before I get there I need to explain to Ralph how I could tell there was going to be trouble.

Hmmm well it could have been the eight young men of different persuasions, or that they were split into two groups that were obviously opposed, or the bottles that they were holding but really it was the testosterone (No that is not a chocolate bar) that was oozing out of the situation like an early morning heat haze. The shouting and the use of a certain swear word (have to keep it a little  bit clean in case the kids read this) as some sort of adjective (Adam go and look up the word adjective) as well as a noun (Rachel go and look up noun). All in all it did make me instantly go in a different direction.

Anyway have fried egg on toast for breakfast followed by a yoghurt and some melon. The yoghurt and melon were only guilt food. I chat to the kids. They have both had stonking reports. Amma and I chatted about bits and pieces and all too soon it was time to go downstairs and play some poker.

The Venetian is like most of the resorts when you hit the casino floor, loud, bright baffling and with rubbish signage. Slots everywhere. The occasional raucous shout from the Craps table (no children, that is not a swear word in this context). I just don’t get dice. Anyway sit down at table 50 seat 7 and instantly know there is going to be trouble between seat 4 and seat 5. Two loose aggressive Chinese women who are raising with nothing and pushing over the top with even less. I do hate to see women fighting unless it is at the poker table, then they can do whatever they like as it will either tilt one of them or better still tilt somebody else. Seats 1 and 2 have good solid players. Seat 3 has a female version of a well known Luton player. Dwells up on everything and has an opinion that is not to be contradicted and she let out whoops of joy when her A8 cracked queens. No class and for the remainder of this post will be known as FTW and that does not stand for For The Win. I am at average for the first ten minutes and then play for the next two hours with no cards whatsoever. Two hours, 460 of the 528 runners still in and the best hand that I have seen is J9 of spades. Marvellous. Down to 12000 from a starting stack of 15000.

The table eventually gets broken up and I get moved to table two. Just good solid poker being played here except for Gerd Muller. Well I think that must be his name cos he is wearing an Adidas tracksuit, sunglasses and is very German. Well as luck would have it FTW comes across to my table. Fifty tables left and she has to end up on mine. Anyway she is sitting next to German footballer and they start taking pops at each other.. He keeps raising from under the gun as all good Germans do and she keeps pouting as he steals her big blind. As comedy drama goes this has it all thinks I. I have got a lunatic German, FTW, two Chinese blokes this time and within five minutes a very smelly Frenchman. Adam go away and find out what the French is for “excuse me sir but you have incredibly smelly armpits so please refrain from putting your hands above your head” so that I can use it in case the situation should arise again. Better still I can use it and when the dealer says “English only at the table” I can translate it back to English. Should get a laugh.

Anyway a pot develops between Gerd and Chinese man 1 who for the purposes of this story will be known as Bruce Lee. Gerd is in seat 9 and has about 45000 chips. Bruce is seat 2. I am in seat five.14000, a new high. Anyway raise from Gerd and Bruce smooth calls it. Flop Q high and Gerd bangs in 5000. Bruce in a true martial stylee smooths it. Enter the German pout. Adidas track suit, wrap around sunglasses and pouting, I have to look away to stop myself from laughing. The turn comes a rag and there is no flush draw. Gerd has another pop. 10,000 and Brucee baby calls in a flash, in a sort of inscrutable Chinese way. German pout and slight twitch of right index finger.

The river comes a six pairing one on board. Gerd checks and Bruce bets out 25000. The mad German calls and triumphantly turns over his AQ. Bruce shows his Kings. At that stage of the tourney this was a big pot. Second interval. Four hours. No Kings. No Aces. AK twice. Queens once and I choose to lay them down as the call would have put me all in against a raiser and a reraise all in. Figure it must be AK for the reraise but just want to be the aggressor. The AK tripped up so whether it was the correct play or not doesn’t matter as I stayed in.

FTW got knocked out. She went in ahead and came out behind. I whooped in a friendly sort of English way. She failed to see the humour. How to win friends and influence people.

Second break and I have exactly half of average stack there are about 300 odd still in. Just before we go to break I get moved again to a table that has got Jabba the Hut on it. This geeza is massive, not big but bloody huge and dear reader let me tell you one of the nicest people I  have met.. He was just a really great person. Anyway we grind away for another two hours and reach another break. 160 left and the money starts at 45. Well it does for those who get to it. Unfortunately I am now down to 10 big blinds. Folds to me, I look at the first card. An Ace. All in says I. Call says the BB. My A6 his pair of 9’s thank you and goodnight. Seven hours of not wasted time as I got a good feel for the players and my reads were good. No cards that was all. Even if I had got creative then I would not have hit. I am on life tilt at this point and decide to get something to eat and steady down.

The casino is mentally busy. It fizzes with happy people on holiday having a good time. An hour later refreshed and calm having read the Las Vegas Review I head back to the cardroom. There is a one table $130 sit n go. Two winners get lammers. Lammers are tournament chips and the word comes from the word laminated apparently. Anyway I buy in and chat to the dealer and the young guy who is already there. Who turns up but FTW.  Oh lucky me. Then who comes into view but Raj and George from Luton. They are playing in the 7.00pm and are just coming back from a break. Always nice to see friendly faces. There is a lot of experience around this table and a couple of American tourists. The last player to arrive is obviously some up and coming oriental player who sits on my left. You get 2000 starting chips and a twenty minute clock which makes this an uber turbo structure. This is going to be brutal and I am going to make sure it is. Five hands in and I have done nothing. My BB. Limp under the gun by up and coming. Six other limpers who I reckon just want to be in a pot with this guy.  I don’t look and go all in. Huge dwell up by the original caller who eventually calls my raise for his tournament life. Everybody folds. Okay lord what have you brought me. Oh my word he has queens and I have yes you guessed it, ace 6. Hit the ace and the six on the flop. Had to smile at the irony, inwardly of course.

Looks of disbelief around the table. Silent smirk on the face of the boy from Luton. FTW goes on tilt from just watching the hand. I help her by raising and reraising her hands at any opportunity. In fairness I got bucket loads of cards. Easy game with cards.. ..an hour and forty after we start it is all over. Got my buy in back. Go to bed happy.

Wake up this morning and decide to change my plans. I am going to play the 1pm satellite for the main event as I think there will be more runners, with most people wanting to party in the evening. Also I felt better yesterday in the middle of the day  than I did at 8pm. I look out of my window and I can see the Rio.
 I just checked my stars

4 July 2009
It's your lucky day, Phil. With planetary energies aiding you, you could make some real conquests today. You'll feel especially tuned in to the rhythms of the day, experiencing great flow in your interactions with others. Communications will be rapid and will produce real results. You should be able to get a lot done, and finish some extra tasks, too. You might feel like you are in overdrive since your energy and spirits will be high


As they say over here “ONE TIME”

[boldie]

What a cracking post!

[The_nun]

I stayed up until 10pm..

Wild thing, you make my heart sing..

Bloody loving this thread.

[Karabiner]

Overdrive !

Blimey one's mind boggles..

[tikay]

Taken this morning, in the Rio's Media Cente. This our Hero Blogger, with Mother Hen.

Phil was in good shape in the Super Sat at the first break.

He was in bad shape at the second break.

I've chatted to him a bit, but I'm really "fairly" busy, so have not had enough time to chill with him properly. Yet. I heard Raj is in Town, too, but not seen her yet, sigh.

[booder]

Outstanding write up Phil, looking forward to the next one.

[Snatiramas]

Today's post will be quick. It has to be because I need sleep after a bad night. Also my stomach has started churning for no apparent reason other than maybe yesterdays omelette wasn't cooked thoroughly. Could make sitting at the table for hours on end vaguely amusing.

Anyway let's not beat about the bush. You all want to know how it went. It went like this. There were 228 runners and there were 21 seats. The first session I played like a legend and had 14000 at the first break . For played like a legend please translate as I got cards and hit them. Second session played like a legend and ended up with half of the average. I now have 9000 and the average is 18000. In this session I get away from Jacks when the BB wakes up with kings it costs me 5000 chips. I eventually go out 58th. My Jacks in the SB and his Queens in the BB. Very dissatisfied.

I make a new friend during the first session who calls me over to play a $100 satellite for the $1000 satellite that happens on Sunday. Last chance saloon stuff. Actually I see this guy as a bit of a lucky omen as I knocked him out of the mtt when my set of tens walked into his set of 3’s.

Anyway first hand of the single table satellite. The blinds are 25, 25 and you start with 1500 chips. I wake up with  . I raise to 75. Two callers round to the BB who makes it 275 to go. We all call. The flop comes down  . What to do. I have had enough for one day. I shove. All 1500 there in the middle first hand. Call from matey boy on my left. I know I am in trouble. Second call after a huge dwell up by second player. I know I am in a world of pain. Then the big blind starts shaking his head. He has obviously hit this flop huge as well. He eventually folds. As the cards do on their backs
the folder says I folded  . That will be a taxi for one then. The other two guys have for the first caller.   for the second caller. I have two outs then. About 7%. On the river comes the jolly old  . Oh my word, one time and all that stuff. It was plain sailing after that.

So ladies and gentlemen this is what is going to happen. I am going to sleep. I am going to wake up and go to the Rio and play the $1000 mtt at 1pm. All "bunch of five members" are to be included in this attempt as a lucky loser bonus package from snatty.com. I will do a full report of both days  when I get back tonight from the Rio but for now I need some sleep.

As they say in America "Two times"
Well they do in my small bit of it.

[gatso]

very generous of you phil. glglgl

[Rod Paradise]

GL Snat - get it done!!!

[The_nun]

GL Snat - get it done!!!

xx

[Claw75]

GL Snat - get it done!!!

[boldie]

very generous of you phil. glglgl

This.