Why do things seem to happen to me?

[Dingdell]

I am getting the feeling that life just doesn't want to give me a simple time, things always seem to happen that are comedic but in the real scheme of things make me think that I may be a version of Hyacinth Bucket.

So yesterday we have great excitement in the clinc - we are having a PR day which means celebs come in and get treatments and talk about us afterwards if we have done a good job. 

Yesterday I was due to do a colonic on a very famous and recognisable soap star - even Tikay would know who it was. She is (and the detail is relevant) youngish, white and with a very strong east London accent.

So our receptionist has received a call from an agent we know and trust saying this particular star would like to come in on Thursday and gives us her number to arrange. No problem says I - and arrange my schedule to allow plenty of time for her.

Our receptionist rings her and goes through some standard health questions to make sure she can have the teatment - no problem it's all ok. According to the receptionist she is excited about coming in and checked twice that she wasn't paying for the treatments. Strange to check - most celebs expect everything for free but nice of her to ask...I guess.

Thursday dawns and the clinci is uber clean, i am uber organised. I have googled this woman to ensure I have enough to talk to her about, I don't watch the soaps but i am up to date and know her current story lines just in case she wants to talk about it. I have rung my Dad on the way over as he is a great fan of this person, client confidentiality only stretched so far and my Dad will be syched to know she is coming in.

Having checked for spinach in my teeth, make up carefully applied and new tunic on I go into reception to get my super duper new client. I can't see her so say to the receptionist who is also looking bemused, is XXXX here? "here I am" piped up a large black afro carribean lady who in no way resembles the person I am looking for. Even though this is obviously not her I ask "Are you XXXX?"

Apparently she is....but obviously she isn't.....

Further investigation tels us that......

The soap star did want a colonic.
The PR lady gave us XXXX's number
She also has a cleaner for her house called XXXX
She has given us the wrong numner and when we rang we asked to speak to XXXX but didn't say her surname.
This lady - an afro carribean cleaning lady for the agent just thought she was being offered this as a perk of the job and didn't think to question it.
The soap star is sitting at home wondering why no one has contacted her to arrange for her to come in.
We did of course treat this lady like royalty, she has travelled along way for a freebie, and she was given all the trimmings including the free cakes, lunch, facil, the whole works.

The receptionist has had a lot of teasing over this. This cleaning lady has the strongest caribbean accent known to man - you struggle to understand what she is saying sometimes. The receptionists defence when booking her in was she thought maybe XXXX sounded different on the tv because she put the London accent on as she was an actress.
 
For goodness sake - FML

 

[TightEnd]

Just PMSL

[TheChipPrince]

 

[gatso]

you're the best trace. can't believe you found a receptionist who's as bad as you

[Kev B]

Just brilliant, like an episode from Some mothers do have em. Frank Spencer eat your heart out.

[GreekStein]

Pls pls pls tell me it wasn't Dawn from Eastenders.

pm pls obv

[booder]

you're the best trace.

[EvilPie]

Pls pls pls tell me it wasn't Dawn from Eastenders.

pm pls obv

You want the leftovers saving?

[GreekStein]

Pls pls pls tell me it wasn't Dawn from Eastenders.

pm pls obv

You want the leftovers saving?

No - but if it's Dawn could arrange some sort of webcam set up in the changing rooms American Pie style. Money back if camera not turned off by the time poo related activity commences.

Your comment made me wretch btw.

[boldie]

you're the best trace. can't believe you found a receptionist who's as bad as you

[thetank]

Great story Trace. 
 
Blondes #1 raconteur

[trafficjam]

 

Very funny story, I think there is a great comedy sit-com in the makng based on your clinic!

[TightEnd]

Great story, I think there is a great comedy sit-com in the makng based on your clinic!

suggested title

"Shit or Bust"

[Dingdell]

If i could tell you the whole story I would because it makes it so much more comedic - it really is a classic farce in the making - but I can't as you would need to know who it was.

Today we have male models and a male fashion designer in - way to much sexual tension going on - between the models and the designer. In an effort to look trendy we are not wearing our uniforms. I am doing colonics in high heels and a short dress and drop earrings.

[ ] I have not stumbled in my heels
[ ] My feet are not aching
[ ] I am not worried about getting poo on my frock

[Claw75]

lol, brilliant!  Get that diary started!