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Joke!!
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Topic: Joke!! (Read 314998 times)
stonecoldkiller
Sr. Member
Offline
Posts: 382
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #405 on:
November 24, 2010, 12:06:26 AM »
Paddy was in court for punching his wife again. The judge asks, "why do you keep beating your wife?". Paddy says "I think it's my weight advantage, longer reach and superior footwork".
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Tractor
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 3082
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #406 on:
November 24, 2010, 08:28:16 AM »
Steve Jobs is to buy Ireland to solve the debt problem.
It will be rebranded as iLand
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Can i please ask where most of you purchase your crack from?
Dapper Street Menswear
MANTIS01
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 6730
What kind of fuckery is this?
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #407 on:
November 25, 2010, 11:02:39 AM »
Saudia arabia doesn't like the Flintstones but abi dabi du
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Tikay - "He has a proven track record in business, he is articulate, intelligent, & presents his cases well"
Claw75 - "Mantis is not only a blonde legend he's also very easy on the eye"
Outragous76 - "a really nice certainly intelligent guy"
taximan007 & Girgy85 & Celtic & Laxie - <3 Mantis
RED-DOG
International Lover World Wide Playboy
Global Moderator
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 47024
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #408 on:
November 29, 2010, 11:38:00 PM »
A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam locomotive. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits.
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The older I get, the better I was.
Girgy85
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 9507
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #409 on:
November 30, 2010, 01:29:43 AM »
Quote from: RED-DOG on November 29, 2010, 11:38:00 PM
A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam locomotive. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits.
Not nice to talk about tikay like that!!
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Best poster Girgy IMO - Mantis
Girgy is my new hero! - Evilpie
Think Girgy has shown the best leopard instincts in this thread and would prob survive best in the wild. Eye of the tiger that fella - Mantis
Girgy is a m'fkn machine - Daveshoelace
Woodsey
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 15846
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #410 on:
January 12, 2011, 09:48:20 PM »
A husband says to his wife, "what would you do if I won the Lotto?"
She says,
"I'd take half, then leave you."
"Excellent," he replies,
"I won £12 , here's £6 - now Fuck off!"
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Woodsey
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 15846
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #411 on:
January 19, 2011, 01:12:27 PM »
Barak Obama and David Cameron are shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future.
They both decide to test it by asking a question each..
Barak goes first.
“What will the USA be like in 100 years time”
The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printout, he reads it out, "The country is in good hands under the new president, crime is non-existent, there is no conflict, the economy is healthy. There are no worries”
David thinks “Its not bad this time machine; I'll have a bit of that,” so he asks,
“What will Great Britain be like in 100 years time?”
The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action and he gets a printout.
But he's just staring at it.
“Come on David,” says Barak, “What does it say?”
David replies,
“I'm buggered if I know! It's all in Arabic!”
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boldie
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 22416
Don't make me mad
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #412 on:
January 19, 2011, 03:04:03 PM »
I was sitting on the train this morning opposite a really sexy Thai bird.
I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection. Please don't get an erection."
But she did.
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Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
bobAlike
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 5922
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #413 on:
January 19, 2011, 10:30:12 PM »
I received a letter of complaint today from ScrewFix.
Apparently they're not a dating agency
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Ah! The element of surprise
EvilPie
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 14253
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #414 on:
January 20, 2011, 05:43:33 PM »
I got a new eastern european cleaning lady today.
It took her 5 hours just to hoover the living room!!
Turns out she was a slovac.
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Motivational speeches at their best:
"Because thats what living is, the 6 inches in front of your face......" - Patrick Leonard - 10th May 2015
sovietsong
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 8497
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #415 on:
February 08, 2011, 07:00:06 PM »
I got a call today from the school, complaining that my son has been lying. "He's good", I said, "I don't even have a son"
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In the category of Funniest Poster I nominate sovietsong. - mantis 21/12/2012
boldie
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 22416
Don't make me mad
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #416 on:
February 08, 2011, 07:22:15 PM »
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, and a Swiss man walk into a pub.
The landlord says, "I can't let you in without a Thai."
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Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
thetank
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 19284
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #417 on:
February 08, 2011, 07:28:12 PM »
Quote from: boldie on February 08, 2011, 07:22:15 PM
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, and a Swiss man walk into a pub.
The landlord says, "I can't let you in without a Thai."
You are the greatest
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For super fun to exist, well defined parameters must exist for the super fun to exist within.
sweet potata!
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 2561
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #418 on:
February 08, 2011, 07:35:48 PM »
Quote from: boldie on February 08, 2011, 07:22:15 PM
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, and a Swiss man walk into a pub.
The landlord says, "I can't let you in without a Thai."
Copyright infringement soz Boldie, I posted on FB , no offence.
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The_nun
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 8478
http://www.organdonation.nhs.uk
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #419 on:
February 08, 2011, 07:48:50 PM »
Lol oh dearty me.
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http://www.organdonation.nhs.uk
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