EvilPie
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« Reply #1365 on: September 02, 2020, 04:35:43 PM » |
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Just been let down by a fancy dress shop after I tried to order a Shepherd’s outfit...
You can't get the staff these days!
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Motivational speeches at their best:
"Because thats what living is, the 6 inches in front of your face......" - Patrick Leonard - 10th May 2015
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Ironside
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« Reply #1366 on: September 25, 2020, 04:12:07 PM » |
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Just farted so long and hard that my voice recognition software wrote a Daily Mail column
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lend me a beer and I'll lend you my ear
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #1367 on: October 04, 2020, 01:04:00 PM » |
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Doctor Doctor, I think I'm a supermarket.
How long have you felt that way?
Ever since I was Lidl.
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The older I get, the better I was.
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Simon Galloway
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« Reply #1368 on: October 04, 2020, 06:12:36 PM » |
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How to tell the sex of an ant.
Drop it in a bucket of water. If it sinks, it is girl ant. If it floats, it is boy ant.
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booder
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« Reply #1369 on: October 08, 2020, 10:11:02 AM » |
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Not knowing enough about Greek mythology is my Achilles knee.
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Quote from: action man im not speculating, either, but id have been pretty peeved if i missed the thread and i ended up getting clipped, kindly accepting a lift home.
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. Martin Luther King Jr
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Ironside
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« Reply #1370 on: November 12, 2020, 10:52:05 AM » |
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Looking in mirror today I thought to myself I'll always be a beefcake.
Oh wait I mean I'll always eat beef and cake.
Give me a break it's hard work to be this funny.
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lend me a beer and I'll lend you my ear
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #1371 on: November 12, 2020, 01:12:34 PM » |
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Looking in mirror today I thought to myself I'll always be a beefcake.
Oh wait I mean I'll always eat beef and cake.
Give me a break it's hard work to be this funny.
I'll give you a lol
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The older I get, the better I was.
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Ironside
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« Reply #1372 on: November 12, 2020, 01:42:51 PM » |
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Looking in mirror today I thought to myself I'll always be a beefcake.
Oh wait I mean I'll always eat beef and cake.
Give me a break it's hard work to be this funny.
I'll give you a lol cool beans, i'll heat them beans up before i serve them with the beef
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lend me a beer and I'll lend you my ear
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Ironside
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« Reply #1373 on: December 22, 2020, 07:43:51 PM » |
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poor chris he was warned though
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lend me a beer and I'll lend you my ear
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Ironside
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« Reply #1374 on: January 09, 2021, 08:56:03 PM » |
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i went to a strip club the other night, met a dancer with 12 breast, seems strange, dozen tits?
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lend me a beer and I'll lend you my ear
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #1375 on: January 14, 2021, 12:28:44 PM » |
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Bloke down our local market this morning selling Oxford vaccinations for £2 each or 3 for a Pfizer.
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The older I get, the better I was.
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Ironside
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« Reply #1376 on: April 01, 2021, 08:54:16 AM » |
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
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lend me a beer and I'll lend you my ear
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #1377 on: April 01, 2021, 10:27:44 AM » |
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The older I get, the better I was.
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #1378 on: April 26, 2021, 09:03:27 PM » |
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I'll never forget the last thing my Grandad said before he kicked the bucket. He said, "How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
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The older I get, the better I was.
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #1379 on: April 27, 2021, 09:06:49 PM » |
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A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
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The older I get, the better I was.
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