Tales from the Tube

[trafficjam]

Have you ever had to walk up the stairs at Hampstead? I believe it is the deepest underground station. I went to school at Hampstead and when the lifts were out of order it was such a long trek up the stairs.

[Snatiramas]

Have you ever had to walk up the stairs at Hampstead? I believe it is the deepest underground station. I went to school at Hampstead and when the lifts were out of order it was such a long trek up the stairs.

My dear TJ I have tried not walk up the stairs at our house.

Taken from Wiki

It has the deepest lift shaft on the Underground at 181 feet. There is also a spiral emergency staircase, made up of over 320 steps.

So it is highly unlikely that I will be going to check that the number 320 is correct. Mind you thinking of the Topography of Hampstead it is not a surprise........

[sovietsong]

I am from the north... say i wanted to go to Canada Square, London, and planned on getting a train from southampton how would i get from Waterloo to India Quay (i think this is the nearest tube station!),

Should I try and get there some other way.

Any help much appreciated, I've been on the tube twice.  It was very exciting, with people moving around really quickly, the first time i was 12 and didnt really mind where i went the second time i was a little worse for where as i was attending leeds vs doncaster at wembley.

[AndrewT]

If you're from the north then getting a train from Southampton is way out of your way...

Once you get to Waterloo, get the Jubilee line to Canary Wharf - you can probs walk from there rather than faffing about going one stop on the DLR (whose stations are really close together).

[gatso]

canary wharf is surely the closest station anyway. canary wharf tower is no. 1 canada sq

[sovietsong]

If you're from the north then getting a train from Southampton is way out of your way...

Once you get to Waterloo, get the Jubilee line to Canary Wharf - you can probs walk from there rather than faffing about going one stop on the DLR (whose stations are really close together).

haha, good point.  visiting the missus' parents who live in southampton!

- thanks for your help !

[Snatiramas]

Canary Wharf is great fun over lunchtime on any weekday. I love its bustle and life. you definitely want to take the advice and use it for Canada Square.

And so to this weeks post.

In life there are always skills that you just wish you had. I could never bounce a football on my foot. I tried for what seemed like forever and managed to get to a record of five. Pathetic. I always wanted to be a rally driver but I just do not have that ability. Indeed the closest I came to rally driving was managing to bury the hire car axle deep in sand on a beach in Spain.

Now it may appear that there is no particular skill or ability necessary to sit on a tube train but dear reader you are wrong. You see I just can’t fall asleep on a tube train. I do not have the inner security that allows me to be relaxed in a train full of people. Now I have tried. I got on the train absolutely shattered, settled down and closed my eyes. No good. I can feel people moving. What if one of them grabs my case and runs off? What if somebody falls and bumps into me? No for me the tube is an eyes open, watch everything experience.

Now there are some masters of the.... sleep on the tube game. Introducing the slumper. Gets on with his Tesco carrier bag that had his lunch in it. Settles down in his seat and within fifteen seconds is slumped over the poor unfortunate person sitting next to him. Please note slumpers are always men.

Then there is the dribbler. Sorry but you can use your own imagination on that one. My absolute favourite however is the random snorter. Nods off and just before getting into a deep sleep snorts himself awake and, startled, looks around the carriage to see if anybody noticed. Well mate I noticed, and I am now going to shoot you one of my, yes you did just snort like a Rhino,looks.

Even as I write this I realise why I do not have this ability of sleeping on the tube. I fear I might just be a slumping, dribbling, snorter and the shame would be just too much.

Until next week. There are minor delays on the Metropolitan line.

[Josedinho]

I never sleep on the tube but on the train down to London from Nottingham i often fall asleep. I'm a snorter. FML.

[Emma-bet365]

he he great read, always amazes me how 99% of people who do fall asleep never miss their stop !  It's like waking up just before the alarm clock goes of in the morning...what clever human beings we are !

[TightEnd]

he he great read, always amazes me how 99% of people who do fall asleep never miss their stop !  It's like waking up just before the alarm clock goes of in the morning...what clever human beings we are !

that always amazed me

12 years of commuting, would sleep start to finish of the journey at either end of the day and never miss my stop at either end

[AndrewT]

I've always envied people who can fall asleep on trains.

I remember when I went to blonde bash 2 (Glasgow) - instead of booking a hotel I decided to just stay up all night then get the first train back the next day, thinking I'd get some kip on the 6 hour journey back to London.

No such luck - instead I sat there in this zombie-like state. Not asleep but not really properly awake either.

[Snatiramas]

Lucky I don't get up until 6

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-10964766

Had to take the car.

[Snatiramas]

Fellow Tubesters apologies for the break in posts. As I write this I am sitting in the lounge at Miami International airport. Tired. Hungover. Ready to come home. My word though, we had some excitement on the way out. Everything was going pretty smoothly. I am travelling with my brilliant and charismatic colleague Jamie Brown (I think my original entry may have been doctored) and we had settled in our seats in the back row of the plane. Now dear reader let me tell you this, on an American Airlines flight an exaggerated English accent is a must have accessory. It just works and even at this early part of our trip Jamie and I are practicing accents that are cross between Roger Moore and Hugh Grant. Actually mine is becoming more and more like Russell Grant.

Well we are getting on famously with the lovely stewardesses. We are in cattle class and it is a little cramped as the flight is full. No problem you just have to get on with it. Any way the drinks get served and we hit our first lot of turbulence. Coffee on the nice white shirt. Marvellous. Then we get our ravioli lunch. Well the shirt really didn’t stand a chance. Then as I am drinking my after lunch coffee yet again we the dreaded air pocket and my shirt gets its third stain. I am now looking like an advert for Persil.

Well the flight progresses and we are chatting to the stewardesses and one of them is telling me about how I should get my thyroid checked as it might be the cause of my weight issues.....we are not going back to weight loss stories I promise. The flight is nine and a half hours and I am going through the movies one at a time. I have just finished my third movie when the lead stewardess comes up to Jamie and myself and says “we have a problem and wonder if you guys would help”.
“Of course!” say our British heroes coming to the aid of our American damsel in distress.

Well it boils down to there being a very drunk Brit on board (no surprise there) who the last time he came up to the galley had become abusive when refused a drink. If we see the gentleman in his thirties wearing a pink shirt, shorts and flip flops heading towards the galley could we go and join the party just in case. For some reason there is no Air Marshall on this flight.

Well about two hours out from Miami sure enough Mr. Pink Shirt totters up the aisle towards us. Jamie (six foot one, handsome, looks a bit like Nicholas Cage.......oh come on!!!! Please see attached photo of Jamie in Hooters) and yours truly get up and basically block the entrance to the galley whilst holding the most superbly inane conversation about the merits of standing up during the journey. Well pink shirt is shooting dagger like looks at us both and eventually asks to pass us to go and ask for a drink. I step into the galley and pink shirt asks for a drink and gets politely declined. He is about to make something of it when he looks round and sees Jamie and I smiling at him. He turns on his heel and just for a second I think he is going to kick off but he sits back down. Good boy.

Well he doesn’t move again but when he arrives at Miami he gets escorted by six of Miami Dade’s finest law enforcement officers. Our reward for our help, nothing but smiles and the good feeling of giving somebody a positive impression of our nation’s people.
Until my next post.... When the seatbelt lights are lit please do not get up from your seat .

[Snatiramas]

Hmmmm Nicholas cage?

[Snatiramas]

Jamie Brown