Apology to Tikay.

[The Camel]

I must admit the fact that Jane knew of the video the day Kev saw it and did nothing about it at the time really surprises me.

It does suggest she was looking through the files for maliciious purposes.

I really don't know what to think now.

How many people saw this video/knew of its existence without saying anything?

They should all be ashamed of themselves.

[Claw75]

The concern I have raised on this thread (and I can't speak for anyone else) is solely in relation to the actions taken that led to information coming to light. I have expressed the view that I think Jane should no longer continue as a moderator on the forum due to the fact that I believe she has breached the privacy of a number of members of blonde

This happened away from blonde and was not in her moderators capacity afaik.

Sandy

correct.  in the same way kev's actions were not in his capacity as a moderator - doesn't mean they weren't blonde issues and shouldn't have been dealt with by blonde.  All the issues involve blondes other than Jane and Kev and, whatever capacity the actions were taken in, blonde members are understandably concerned.  No need to spell it all out again - Snoopy's excellent post several pages back sums it up perfectly. In any case, it's now being considered, which is pretty much what those that raised the matter earlier wanted to be assured of for now I would imagine.

[Delboy]

 I don’t understand why you all believe that Jane did not know about your conversations with Kev anyway. When you are in a loving relationship, (that you expect is life long) you have no secrets. You share everything with your partner. It’s a natural function of the trust you share. I keep no secrets from my wife (baring Christmas and Birthday presents/ surprises). The nature of a relationship is that when you talk to one, you talk to both. So be wary who you tell deep dark secrets to. If you’re looking for a confidant I suggest a Priest or professional counsellor (of course, I can’t guarantee the counsellor won’t go home to their wife and say, “you won’t believe what one of my clients said today….”.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Kev, and would love to see him back posting on here, but the fact is he fucked up, and the guys in charge have decided that he be unable to participate in Blonde. Its their business, and seeing as there seem to be other, unseen forces putting Blonde’s reputation at risk; I am inclined to accept their descision.

When Laxie told me about what happened in November, I was completely shocked and appalled. I couldn’t believe this sort of thing happened. (Naïve, I know). What disgusted me most was that a number of blonde members, I consider to be decent individuals, knew about this video and made no effort to let Laxie know. We on Blonde pride ourselves on our great community spirit, and yet these individuals chose to leave Laxie on her own and exposed. Every single one of them should be ashamed. I sure , as decent individuals, they are.

This whole sorry episode is getting dragged up in thread after thread, can’t we just accept that its all being handled by those that need to handle it.

[henrik777]

The concern I have raised on this thread (and I can't speak for anyone else) is solely in relation to the actions taken that led to information coming to light. I have expressed the view that I think Jane should no longer continue as a moderator on the forum due to the fact that I believe she has breached the privacy of a number of members of blonde

This happened away from blonde and was not in her moderators capacity afaik.

Sandy

correct.  in the same way kev's actions were not in his capacity as a moderator - doesn't mean they weren't blonde issues and shouldn't have been dealt with by blonde.  All the issues involve blondes other than Jane and Kev and, whatever capacity the actions were taken in, blonde members are understandably concerned.  No need to spell it all out again - Snoopy's excellent post several pages back sums it up perfectly. In any case, it's now being considered, which is pretty much what those that raised the matter earlier wanted to be assured of for now I would imagine.

http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?topic=48940.msg1212233#msg1212233

It seems as if the video had little to do with Kev's ban. The money was in a blonde capacity.

Sandy

[sovietsong]

Sigh... I deleted my post as it's pure speculation. It's been quoted twice after I deleted it.

Apologies. I don't know half of it. I suspect most don't, I will try to avoid posting on it.

[Delboy]

I must admit the fact that Jane knew of the video the day Kev saw it and did nothing about it at the time really surprises me.

It does suggest she was looking through the files for maliciious purposes.

I really don't know what to think now.

How many people saw this video/knew of its existence without saying anything?

They should all be ashamed of themselves.

It seems most people who saw the video didn't realise it was non-consenting. I very much doubt anybody saw the video realised the person in it was unconscious and didn't say anything.

Like I say, just speculating like everybody else.

Even if there was consent to the act itself, I would guess less than 0.01% of women would be happy to know a video of the act was being passed around members of an internet forum they frequented.

And even if all the people who saw the video claim they thought there was consent involved, I just do not believe they thought it would be ok with the person involved that they watched the video.

I haven't seen the video but I'm guessing from what I read today (that the victim was naked on the bed) that this is why consent would have been assumed?

Being unconscious might be a clue though

[Geo the Sarge]

More on Jane.

I have no "personal" flag to fly for Jane, none at all. We tended to get a bit testy with each other on mod matters sometimes, we all do, but whenever we met, we got along perfectly OK. I have not seen her or spoken to her for at least 2 years, iirc.

Jane is currently absent from blonde, & apart from her PM, has not Posted in some time, or not that I recall.

About 10 days ago - give or take a few days - Jane wrote at length to me, & as far as I could tell by the context, it was circulated to many others, to give her line, & position, on what she did, & why. I have no idea who else it was sent to, but it seemed to be to people who understood the complexities of the matters, & had written to her. I had not contacted her at any stage.

It was a long & complex PM, & even her worst detractors would understand that she's in a tough spot, being spoken of in brutally dreadful terms. You may argue that she deserved it, but that's not the point. Two opposing factions have polarised into separate Teams, many of them unconnected with the people involved, & it's all-out war. ALL parties must be feeling the pinch & fed up with it.

I replied to her PM at length, & immediately. In it, I voiced the difficult spot I was in as to her Modship. I did not suggest she resign, or not resign, I simply said it was a matter that would come to tax me greatly eventually.

I expected a prompt reply, but it never came. This puzzled me, it did not "fit", though I half-suspected she had turned blonde off, never to turn it on again.

I revisited her note, & found that the "you have responded to this" icon was NOT present. But I KNOW I wrote it, & unless I pressed a wrong button, I'm sure I sent it.

So I wrote to her again, asking if she had received my original reply.

She has not replied to either.

I checked again yesterday, because I know I have to deal with this sooner or later, & it turns out that I DID reply to her first note - I had saved the reply in my Outbox.

I'll therefore have to move on, & make my decisions on Jane as I, & I alone, see fit.

I'll do so as quick as I'm able, but I'm not being bullied or pushed into anything.

I know some of you are pretty mad with me over the whole thing - I have the PM's telling me so, & also the ones that say I am in an impossible spot, too, & I've replied, I think, to every single one, but it's not simple, doing the right thing.

And I'm not entirely sure how I ended up in the dock here, either. I may - may - have handled some of it wrongly, but jeez, it's complicated, & I was not involved until after the fact. Others may or may not have guilt - everyone seems to disagree who or what of course - but I know my nose is clean until after the fact. At which stage, yes, I may have handled things less than ideally. I'm not sure how, if that is correct, it should cloud the original matters. In fact, I know it should not.

There are only imperfect solutions.

I'll make my decision as soon as I can sort out in my head what's what. (24-48 hours, I hope). In the meantime, if, as previously requested, you have evidence that Jane abused her Mod powers by accessing Kev's PM's, send it to me.

I am supposed to be Online elsewhere from 7pm, so I'll be in "read only" mode for most of the evening, I'm afraid.

Sorry Tony but this does not cut it I'm afraid. Twice now you have said "you won't be bullied"

Unless I am very much mistaken you stated in your own roundabout way in the main thread that you felt you had no option but to post the thread you did as A N Other had pressed for it otherwise they would make it known, would that not be succumbing to bullying?

I have a fondness for all 3 members involved and indeed have been bitterly dissapointed by all that has happened. I absolutely agree that some action required to be taken in regards to demodding of Kev, fair enough, no-one can or probably will argue that but the total ban from the forum?

I've only made one previous comment on this subject and that was entirely related to the way this was broken to the forum and that 1 person was demodded and banned for not carrying out their CARDROOM duties whilst another who showed untrustworthiness had no action taken.


Geo

[Claw75]

I'm really rather uncomfortable with all the speculation on the thread about what might or might not have been in the video/been construed by those that saw the video.  Dawn is an active member of blonde and I'm sure she doesn't want to be constantly reminded of it in this way - can we just leave all this stuff off the thread and leave the police to deal with it please?

[Laxie]

I'm really rather uncomfortable with all the speculation on the thread about what might or might not have been in the video/been construed by those that saw the video.  Dawn is an active member of blonde and I'm sure she doesn't want to be constantly reminded of it in this way - can we just leave all this stuff off the thread and leave the police to deal with it please?

FINALLY!!!  Thank you Claire! 

I know most are trying to help, but seriously folks...it's gone a bit much for me tonight.  If ye wouldn't mind leaving me out if it for now, I'd really appreciate it.

[outragous76]

More on Jane.

I have no "personal" flag to fly for Jane, none at all. We tended to get a bit testy with each other on mod matters sometimes, we all do, but whenever we met, we got along perfectly OK. I have not seen her or spoken to her for at least 2 years, iirc.

Jane is currently absent from blonde, & apart from her PM, has not Posted in some time, or not that I recall.

About 10 days ago - give or take a few days - Jane wrote at length to me, & as far as I could tell by the context, it was circulated to many others, to give her line, & position, on what she did, & why. I have no idea who else it was sent to, but it seemed to be to people who understood the complexities of the matters, & had written to her. I had not contacted her at any stage.

It was a long & complex PM, & even her worst detractors would understand that she's in a tough spot, being spoken of in brutally dreadful terms. You may argue that she deserved it, but that's not the point. Two opposing factions have polarised into separate Teams, many of them unconnected with the people involved, & it's all-out war. ALL parties must be feeling the pinch & fed up with it.

I replied to her PM at length, & immediately. In it, I voiced the difficult spot I was in as to her Modship. I did not suggest she resign, or not resign, I simply said it was a matter that would come to tax me greatly eventually.

I expected a prompt reply, but it never came. This puzzled me, it did not "fit", though I half-suspected she had turned blonde off, never to turn it on again.

I revisited her note, & found that the "you have responded to this" icon was NOT present. But I KNOW I wrote it, & unless I pressed a wrong button, I'm sure I sent it.

So I wrote to her again, asking if she had received my original reply.

She has not replied to either.

I checked again yesterday, because I know I have to deal with this sooner or later, & it turns out that I DID reply to her first note - I had saved the reply in my Outbox.

I'll therefore have to move on, & make my decisions on Jane as I, & I alone, see fit.

I'll do so as quick as I'm able, but I'm not being bullied or pushed into anything.

I know some of you are pretty mad with me over the whole thing - I have the PM's telling me so, & also the ones that say I am in an impossible spot, too, & I've replied, I think, to every single one, but it's not simple, doing the right thing.

And I'm not entirely sure how I ended up in the dock here, either. I may - may - have handled some of it wrongly, but jeez, it's complicated, & I was not involved until after the fact. Others may or may not have guilt - everyone seems to disagree who or what of course - but I know my nose is clean until after the fact. At which stage, yes, I may have handled things less than ideally. I'm not sure how, if that is correct, it should cloud the original matters. In fact, I know it should not.

There are only imperfect solutions.

I'll make my decision as soon as I can sort out in my head what's what. (24-48 hours, I hope). In the meantime, if, as previously requested, you have evidence that Jane abused her Mod powers by accessing Kev's PM's, send it to me.

I am supposed to be Online elsewhere from 7pm, so I'll be in "read only" mode for most of the evening, I'm afraid.

Sorry Tony but this does not cut it I'm afraid. Twice now you have said "you won't be bullied"

Unless I am very much mistaken you stated in your own roundabout way in the main thread that you felt you had no option but to post the thread you did as A N Other had pressed for it otherwise they would make it known, would that not be succumbing to bullying?

I have a fondness for all 3 members involved and indeed have been bitterly dissapointed by all that has happened. I absolutely agree that some action required to be taken in regards to demodding of Kev, fair enough, no-one can or probably will argue that but the total ban from the forum?

I've only made one previous comment on this subject and that was entirely related to the way this was broken to the forum and that 1 person was demodded and banned for not carrying out their CARDROOM duties whilst another who showed untrustworthiness had no action taken.


Geo

wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

uncle tonys flowery words and BS starting to fall down around him

itll continue till he realises that fairness and friendship are not words he understands

[sovietsong]

I'm really rather uncomfortable with all the speculation on the thread about what might or might not have been in the video/been construed by those that saw the video.  Dawn is an active member of blonde and I'm sure she doesn't want to be constantly reminded of it in this way - can we just leave all this stuff off the thread and leave the police to deal with it please?

FINALLY!!!  Thank you Claire! 

I know most are trying to help, but seriously folks...it's gone a bit much for me tonight.  If ye wouldn't mind leaving me out if it for now, I'd really appreciate it.

Apologies. As I said earlier I won't be posting on this any further, I know nothing about it and have no right to post on it.

[Laxie]

I'm really rather uncomfortable with all the speculation on the thread about what might or might not have been in the video/been construed by those that saw the video.  Dawn is an active member of blonde and I'm sure she doesn't want to be constantly reminded of it in this way - can we just leave all this stuff off the thread and leave the police to deal with it please?

FINALLY!!!  Thank you Claire! 

I know most are trying to help, but seriously folks...it's gone a bit much for me tonight.  If ye wouldn't mind leaving me out if it for now, I'd really appreciate it.

Apologies. As I said earlier I won't be posting on this any further, I know nothing about it and have no right to post on it.

Yer grand.  I understand people would like to have the facts straight and all will be very clear once this whole ordeal is over.  There are SO MANY things I've wanted to say since Kev's post and subsequent replies, but obviously I have to keep zipped on the forum at the minute. 

It's for that reason and that reason alone that I ask ye to please keep me out of it for now.  Because while everyone else can say what they like, I'm forced to keep quiet.  And it's not been easy, I can tell you that much for sure.

[outragous76]

i have told tony to his face what i think - he knows how i feel about it

I stand by everything i have said on the subject - and most of the harsh stuff has been private

[celtic]

i have told tony to his face what i think - he knows how i feel about it

I stand by everything i have said on the subject - and most of the harsh stuff has been private

But what would you have done?

[outragous76]

It depends on which bit u are talking about

1. Let kev resign
2. Not get blackmailed
3. Never betrayed a friend, and still call him friend
4. Kept it off the forums as best I could (although this could have been tough)
5. Dealt with most of it in private
6. Not hide behind words like 'when it all comes out'
7. I'd have apologised to keV for hanging him out to dry, not kept skipping round it with flowery words

Anything else?