The Best In The Business

[youthnkzR]

I'm going to go to sleep now and the intention is to go to the Airport and get on the first flight that seems attractive and see where I end up.

Would you like to trade lives?

Chin up bud.. Your not a guy taking his one shot in these tournaments.. Your self made in your 20s.. Likely have mirrion.. Your time will come (again).

Take a break for a while. You deserve it.

And yes it does seem moany.. But everyone on here understands!   (and respects you for being honest).

[bagel]

I remember about three years ago chris brammer going zero cashes from twenty odd wsop tournaments and then hitting a huge 200k score in one of last events. Take a trip yo san diego or any place you fancy and gorge on steak fir a few days then come back and have another go. I may be wrong but if you are back in budapest when the main event starts I have a hunch you may not be loving life. Just being in a spot where you can play in monaco vegas and all the big online is testament to your talents. Dont doubt yourself ,you would not be where you are in life if you were not bitb or very close to it.

[RED-DOG]

Today was such an incredibly tough day to take. I won't go into pots or anything specific, but I literally played completely flawless in apparently the toughest tournaments of the year, the $10k no limit 6 max.

I'm not going to be arrogant or anything like that, just realistic, I played fucking awesome, I could blog about 15 hands, but I inevitably lost KK v AK all in pre xxxxA and then the rest with AA v 77 aip.

I don't care if it's an admission of failure. Fuck it, I failed. I can't take it anymore, I know its a small sample size, but literally in every live tournament 5k-25k I've been absolutely fucked whilst playing as good as I possibly could at the time. At the moment I'm way better than 6 months ago and progressed so much in the last 12 months. It's too much to take for me and enough is enough.

Every time I bust a tournament at 7pm, I'm going home, spending hours studying, going over ICM spots, going over tournament hhs, being the absolute pro I can be. I wake up early, meditate, relax, massage, gym, all the fucking stuff I'm supposed to, but no fucking dice. It's so tough to take and I'm way past angry, I really just don't think I care anymore. I'm completely and utterly over it. There's a really good $3000 no limit tournament tomorrow but I'm just over it. I hate to moan, but its just how I feel, I've played as well as possible all trip, I'm maybe not as good as X, Y or Z, but personally I've played at my absolute full capacity, and I believe I'm good at this game. It's just so painful seeing the ace on the river, but inside me it felt inevitable.

The fact is I either am way, way overconfident or I'm delusional and have a way higher sense of entitlement than is necessary.

Either way, I'm either running way more normal than I think or I'm running unquestionably bad over Monaco/SCOOP/Vegas. I don't think I can take it anymore and tbh I just want to get out of here.

Over the last few years as you all know I've given poker absolutely everything, I sacrificed a lot and dedicated myself in areas where I perhaps shouldn't have. Now I don't feel motivated, don't feel determined, I just feel like its all unfair and the whole world is against me. I just feel so unhappy when I don't succeed in poker, I do everything I can to succeed that is pyscially possible, but when its out of your hands and your fail, its just so, so hurtful.

I'm going to go to sleep now and the intention is to go to the Airport and get on the first flight that seems attractive and see where I end up.

Apologies if this seems moany or something, just how I feel.

Doesn't sound moany at all mate, I can't imagine what it's like to lose when when you get it in good, it must be awful.



Come on Patrick ffs. You've had so much success it's almost beyond belief. Don't throw your toys out of the pram because you've had a bad run.

[Marky147]

Good posts from bagel & red.


Go and shoot some guns, that might help release some frustration?

Then crack on, and win the main.

[Pinchop73]

Sunday called, it wants it's hero back

[Pinchop73]

"The world is full of complainers. But the fact is, nothing comes with a guarantee. I don't care if you're the Pope of Rome, President of the United States or Man of the Year, something can all go wrong. But go ahead, complain, tell your problems to your neighbor, ask for help and watch him fly...Down here... you're on your own."

[pleno1]

This isn't me trying to say that I'm better than everybody else and the goat. This is me saying I cannot
Deal with the variance. 3/4 months ago I hired elliot Roe and told Him the next 3 months will make or break me. I really went for it. Huge monaco, huge scoop, huge vegas. It broke me. I ran very well swapping pieces but mentally it's drained me out and I don't have much to give. Many many others would handle it way better than me but I can't do it. It's the brick wall I've hit and I can't take the pain anymore. I seriously love the game soMuch, it's given me so much ammunition to enjoy life and hopefully it will Continue to but the last 3/4 months have just slowly picked away at me.

I'm going to go away, come back and play 2 tournaments. The one drop and the main event. I have zero expectations. I get hurt when I have expectations. My sole purpose will be to play perfectly or As close to perfect as I can possibly go. IF I fail, I fail. For me the summer is finished. A failure but a realistic failure. I haven't lost much money at all, everything is ok. I'm just abit hurt.

Again so many apologies for moaning. To me this is my diary. It's not a blog or a public place that I write. It's a very personal diary that I daily say exactly how I feel. I know it could be very condescending to many, and I've admitted a guilt of potential entitlement.

Who knows maybe I wake up and decide to fire the $3k

Will post again in 24 hours either from an unknown destination or a report from over betting in the 3k. Secretely the true degen inside me would prefer to be playing the tournanent tomorrow.

[Pinchop73]

Heart on the sleeve mate wouldn't have it any other wa

Completely agree with Pablito's last post btw

[Longy]

The reason you are taking this so hard, is one of the reason you have had so much success is that you love the game. Sounds like burnout and Vegas in particularly will do that to you.

Get out of Vegas for a week or so and relax totally away from poker. I would personally recommend San Francisco or San Diego both awesome places, the former being a bit more sight seeing and the latter being a bit more chilled. Both easy to get to from Vegas and easy to get back for the main.

[aaron1867]

I have been reading this blog for the last few weeks and really enjoying being part of your journey & it really would be a real shame to see you leave Vegas. There are people out there who would love to be in your position & dream of playing the tournaments that you are playing, you ARE living the dream.

This is a real test of character Patrick & only you can turn it round and moaning isn't going to do anything to help, have some sleep and play the next tournament in a different mindset. Maybe take step down the ladder or perhaps a cash session.

I believe in the next week that you'll turn it around Patrick, in fact, I know you will. So best of luck.

[Doobs]

The reason you are taking this so hard, is one of the reason you have had so much success is that you love the game. Sounds like burnout and Vegas in particularly will do that to you.

Get out of Vegas for a week or so and relax totally away from poker. I would personally recommend San Francisco or San Diego both awesome places, the former being a bit more sight seeing and the latter being a bit more chilled. Both easy to get to from Vegas and easy to get back for the main.

Can't disagree with this.  I bricked everything when I was out there, but began to really enjoy the non poker things.  Getting in that pool at 8 am when it is already warm is pretty special and nobody in England would say no to swapping places.  Sit outside have a nice breakfast, sit in the shade read a good book.  Just chill and enjoy all the other things life can offer you out there.  

I started to get a bit down as I haven't had a year like yours either, but finished the week really positive about life.  

[atdc21]

The reason you are taking this so hard, is one of the reason you have had so much success is that you love the game. Sounds like burnout and Vegas in particularly will do that to you.

Get out of Vegas for a week or so and relax totally away from poker. I would personally recommend San Francisco or San Diego both awesome places, the former being a bit more sight seeing and the latter being a bit more chilled. Both easy to get to from Vegas and easy to get back for the main.

Can't disagree with this.  I bricked everything when I was out there, but began to really enjoy the non poker things.  Getting in that pool at 8 am when it is already warm is pretty special and nobody in England would say no to swapping places.  Sit outside have a nice breakfast, sit in the shade read a good book.  Just chill and enjoy all the other things life can offer you out there.  

I started to get a bit down as I haven't had a year like yours either, but finished the week really positive about life.  

Agree with both this, you are very lucky/fortunate to be in a position to enjoy life/poker, use it and do enjoy it.
I would be happy if i was in a position to just to be able to go Vegas and do my bollocks lol

[RED-DOG]

I just feel like its all unfair and the whole world is against me. I just feel so unhappy when I don't succeed in poker, I do everything I can to succeed that is pyscially possible, but when its out of your hands and your fail, its just so, so hurtful.

I'm sitting here shaking my head. I really must try not to get involved in this thread.

[atdc21]

1/2 you do tho 

[George2Loose]

I'm on the fence on this one.

I think one of the reasons you've been successful is because u want to do so well but at the same time it's pretty weird that someone so successful can't cope with variance. You obviously are great player but some of your success can be attributed to a world wind of positive variance with so much success over such a short space of time. Hopefully you'll find some perspective.

As for all the gym/meditation stuff I think it's way over rated. Just enjoy Vegas mate. Fuck that shit