Luton & The Aftermath - Diary

[celtic]

In my humble opinion, yes you are. It's his life.

Agreed, but what about defending what my mum would have wanted?

Not your job Vin. Why does what she wants take precedence over what he wants?

He is/was very big on doing what my mum would have liked. Now it's ok to change that, because it suits him?


I can only say this. I wish my dad was still here, ignoring me and the grand-kids, doing whatever he likes.

I totally get this, but would you still be happy if he was ignoring your grandkids and going to see other peoples and spending time with them?

[celtic]

Think this is a really emotive topic. On phone but have so much to say. Hope u won't mind me butting in either Vin?

Nope, jump in George, in fact, I'm particulary interested to hear from you.

[celtic]

In my humble opinion, yes you are. It's his life.

Think I probably sit in the middle of you and Red on this one.

You're fine to be hacked off. Him lying to you is not on and the same with not visiting his grandchildren.

I don't think it's something that you should never talk to him again over though.

So let him carry on, despite thinking it's wrong? Run him around because he is 72 and not well, when it suits him, but then he discovers a new athleticism when it he needs to go and visit her and her family?

Tell him it means you'll no longer take him anywhere. Tell him if he can get around to see her he can get around everywhere on his own.

Doesn't mean that a disagreement over this should mean a severing of relations.

Fwiw I can understand it would be ridic difficult given the recent passing of your mum and how she wouldn't of wanted it but he's alone now and not cheating or anything.

1 is not really practical, i wouldn't be able to go and see him, knowing he needs milk, but refusing to take him etc.

2 is a good point, but seems the only thing I can do at the moment.

3. I understand, if he was living the life of Charlie Harper, I would be delighted for him. The prob is, the company he is keeping.

[celtic]

Right, gotta go crush Luton, and do mad flips v Tikay.

Keep the views coming please, it is helping. I'm sounding very defensive and argumentative, but it is helping me understand I think.

[mondatoo]

I know your saying keep the views coming and if that's what you want then fair do's but I really don't think people should get involved in family disputes, it's impossible for anyone to know all the ins and outs and thus cant make an accurate comment. All I know is you are a proper sound Scottish Cockney so I doubt you are to far out of line here if at all, but hope you get things sorted out.

[bobAlike]

Hi mate, no jokes this time.

My dad would do exactly the same thing as your dad. The reason he would do this is because of company, female company. Now I know my dad really loves his grandkids and his children, as I'm sure your dad does too, but I know he'd long for something else. I'm fortunate that both my parents are alive but if mom passed away first he'd be off doing his thing.

Maybe you could look at it like this, whilst your mom was alive he respected her wishes as he loved her very much.

I hope you can sort this out as it's obvious you miss and love him vary much.

[Eso Kral]

In my humble opinion, yes you are. It's his life.

Think I probably sit in the middle of you and Red on this one.

You're fine to be hacked off. Him lying to you is not on and the same with not visiting his grandchildren.

I don't think it's something that you should never talk to him again over though.

This ^^ without reading any other replies.
When I grow old I want to be as wise as Costas!!

[Claw75]

In my humble opinion, yes you are. It's his life.

Think I probably sit in the middle of you and Red on this one.

You're fine to be hacked off. Him lying to you is not on and the same with not visiting his grandchildren.

I don't think it's something that you should never talk to him again over though.

This ^^ without reading any other replies.
When I grow old I want to be as wise as Costas!!

exactly this. 

[Simon Galloway]

Took me two packets of crisps and a bottle of irn bru before I would forgive him. Would have forgiven him quicker if they had nando's back then, obv.

This too.

[Boba Fett]

In my humble opinion, yes you are. It's his life.

Think I probably sit in the middle of you and Red on this one.

You're fine to be hacked off. Him lying to you is not on and the same with not visiting his grandchildren.

I don't think it's something that you should never talk to him again over though.

So let him carry on, despite thinking it's wrong? Run him around because he is 72 and not well, when it suits him, but then he discovers a new athleticism when it he needs to go and visit her and her family?

Tell him it means you'll no longer take him anywhere. Tell him if he can get around to see her he can get around everywhere on his own.

Doesn't mean that a disagreement over this should mean a severing of relations.

Fwiw I can understand it would be ridic difficult given the recent passing of your mum and how she wouldn't of wanted it but he's alone now and not cheating or anything.

Cos is playing a blinder, I completely agree

[pleno1]

cant see myself falling out with my dad, but there is only one circumstance id never speak to him again and thats if he decided to go away with a certain woman who i know my mum would never forgive him with.  i know 100pc where ur coming from and would be exactly the same.

Family/blood > friendship/companionship for me..

Im sure this is useless and you have tried, but have you spoke to him about why this hurts you so much and why it hurts your whole familu rather than just telling him hes a wanker?

Hope everything gets sorted, youre in such a sticky situation and hope you can work out what the best thing to do for YOU is. Rather than for anyone else.

[RED-DOG]

cant see myself falling out with my dad, but there is only one circumstance id never speak to him again and thats if he decided to go away with a certain woman who i know my mum would never forgive him with.  i know 100pc where ur coming from and would be exactly the same.

Family/blood > friendship/companionship for me..

Im sure this is useless and you have tried, but have you spoke to him about why this hurts you so much and why it hurts your whole familu rather than just telling him hes a wanker?

Hope everything gets sorted, youre in such a sticky situation and hope you can work out what the best thing to do for YOU is. Rather than for anyone else.

My apologies for hijacking your post pleno, but with a slight adjustment, your last sentence highlights my position perfectly.


Hope everything gets sorted, you're in such a sticky situation and hope you can work out what the best thing to do for YOUR DAD is. Rather than for anyone else.

[Delboy]

The way I see it Vinni is that you have a simple choice:

Be Right or Be Happy?

Your unhappy because your father is seeing someone you don't approve of, so you tell him you no longer consider him your father. This further increases your unhappiness.

From you father's point of view; he starts seeing someone that you don't approve of, so you try to emotionally blackmail him into not seeing her. He get stubborn (as most of us would), but is no doubt very unhappy because his son now hates him.

So you're both very unhappy but safe in the knowledge that you are right!!

My advice is give up being right, accept his life choices, tell him you love him, then carry on be the great son you have been for the last thirty odd years.

[relaedgc]

I can only say this. I wish my dad was still here, ignoring me and the grand-kids, doing whatever he likes.

About sums it up for me, too.

[tikay]

I can only say this. I wish my dad was still here, ignoring me and the grand-kids, doing whatever he likes.

About sums it up for me, too.

And me. And, to be blunt, just about every living soul who has lost their Dad.

Being "right" is over-rated - WAY over-rated. Be the bigger man, he is right, and one day, you will be head of family, & you will be the man.