Prose from a Poshboy

[mondatoo]

Dunno where to start on tonight...should probably wait until tomorrow to post when Im more level-headed. But maybe it's not a bad idea to just splurge out a load of thoughts and see what happens.

By far the worst day I've ever had pokerwise. The worst thing about winning the MC is that now I'm never allowed to complain about running bad again. Seriously. It's a real pain. Since it's my diary I could just say fk it and complain anyway. But George and Jared and a whole bunch of smart people taught me that it's the biggest waste of time ever. I agree. So ill spare you. Cliffs: ran bad, lost moneys.

There you go.

Now the important things.

1) I was a baby again Seems to happen sporadically once every few months. A series of hands or events leads to me losing my head and acting like an idiot. I was complaining, moaning and generally being a bit of a douche. Its the thing that sparked the first bit of controversy in this thread back in February or March. Glad it hasn't happened since cos I hate feeling how I felt then, and how I do now. Mitch and Andy were at the table as well as Mitch being the most insensitive human being known to man didn't help snap me out of it.

2) I tilted off chunks. It was 50/1 not 1/2 so it couldve been worse, but doing 1k at 50/1 is abs ridiculous. Hand on heart I can put most of it down to running bad. But I played shit even so and spewed off loads.

3) this business with deadman from the other week is looking a lot more serious than i first thought and I'm pretty upset at how it may turn out. Dont ask me to elaborate obv not going to, I'm just saying.

Ran pretty terrible last night as well on the 1/2 but kept morale high, kept my dignity and was in good spirits all night and actually had a pretty fun time despite losing a chunk. But tonight was different and I'm really annoyed that I haven't nipped this unfortunate habit in the bud, especially when I addressed it as a weakness months ago. You'd think that winning 35k would make me immune to anything that can happen at a 50/1 table tilting me. Turns out this is not the case. Not sure whether it's a solvable problem or not. Well, im sure it is solvable but dunno how. Whenever I'm thinking rationally it seems easy. But the zone I was in tonight, I knew I was tilting off yet I didn't wanna stop. I can honestly say this happens very very rarely. I always write on here when stuff like this happens and it hasn't happened for ages. Hope I can change so it never happens again.

Meh, I don't think you should beat yourself up about it that much, everyone's entitled to be a dick sometimes. I've degened it away on the bandit then been a prick to others afterwards when absolutely steaming because of being so frustrated at myself, I just apologise next time I see whoever I was a dick to then that's that. Some will say you shouldn't of gambelled so much money that it would make you become a different person, funny how the brain doesn't seem to work like that though.

[edgascoigne]

1) I was a baby again Seems to happen sporadically once every few months. A series of hands or events leads to me losing my head and acting like an idiot. I was complaining, moaning and generally being a bit of a douche.

Ran pretty terrible last night as well on the 1/2 but kept morale high, kept my dignity and was in good spirits all night and actually had a pretty fun time despite losing a chunk. But tonight was different and I'm really annoyed that I haven't nipped this unfortunate habit in the bud, especially when I addressed it as a weakness months ago. You'd think that winning 35k would make me immune to anything that can happen at a 50/1 table tilting me. Turns out this is not the case.

Alex,

Not sure if I mentioned it before, but if not, now is probably as good a time as any. Last time I was back up at DTD you played a hand where you raised a couple of limpers with a King and a King, and found a couple of callers. The flop came 10-6-2 (or similar) with one spade. The limper somehow gets in c£500 on the flop against you with the mighty 10s-3s. Mbn. Runs out spade, spade, and you get gubbed in a healthy pot.

Genuinely, you showed no outward emotion. Obv those who play for a living every day see things like this plenty, but I was still impressed to see you neither (a) wince, (b) moan, (c) tilt. More of this please.

£35k will not make you immune to the emotions of any table, even a 50/1. A close relation of mine (father ldo) will still regale me with tales of winning £x here and £x there, for this is where his enjoyment lies. He knows in the long run he will be a loser in the game, but he plays for the challenge and the emotional highs derived from a winning session. Your job is to be there and take his money quietly when he has a losing session, and ensure that he feels good enough when he wins to come back next time. Your positive expectation, driven by a skill-divide Vs other players in the game, is as flimsy as your ability to balance (a) your emotions and (b) the longevity of the losing players in the game.

This isn't meant as criticism at all should it have come across as such. I genuinely enjoy this diary and sincerely hope you are back to winning ways soon. Will pop over and say hello if I make it up this weekend.

Cheers, Ed

[Pinchop73]

Do you not operate a stop loss Alex? Guess 5bi's isn't the greatest downswong but still.

[cambridgealex]

Do you not operate a stop loss Alex? Guess 5bi's isn't the greatest downswong but still.

Sort of. But it's fairly game/mood dependant.

[redarmi]

I find that at the point that I lose 3bi's when playing live my game suffers and I find myself not making the best decisions and because of that i set myself a stop loss of 3bi's.  This didn't mean that I had to stop playing for the day but I did force myself to pick up my chips, cash out and have at least an hours break irrespective of the game.  It works for me although to be fair I am normally playing in miami during the day so there is probably a bit more for me to do if I take a break than there is in Notts on a Weds at 1am (sick brags i know)

[jakally]

Mitch and Andy were at the table as well as Mitch being the most insensitive human being known to man didn't help snap me out of it.

Details of rubdowns  from Mitch would be good.

[titaniumbean]

Can I get cliffs on no3 as i've been away on horiday!?!   

[cambridgealex]

I find that at the point that I lose 3bi's when playing live my game suffers and I find myself not making the best decisions and because of that i set myself a stop loss of 3bi's.  This didn't mean that I had to stop playing for the day but I did force myself to pick up my chips, cash out and have at least an hours break irrespective of the game.  It works for me although to be fair I am normally playing in miami during the day so there is probably a bit more for me to do if I take a break than there is in Notts on a Weds at 1am (sick brags i know)

Thats the main problem for me. If I quit at midnight I don't have anything to do! I'm hoping this will change when Tom and Andy move in properly and are grinding online some nights, I can just go back and chill with them. Or when Hannahs living in notts again can just go and have a snuggle (she'll love hearing bad beat stories at 2am when she has 9am lectures, I know it).

Also, when the games really good I hate leaving it and always justify it by saying my edge in this game is so big that even when I'm down 3buyins or a bit tilted, my edge is still big enough to warrant playing.

[cambridgealex]

Can I get cliffs on no3 as i've been away on horiday!?!   

Cliffs while you've been away? Won the monte carlo mate.

(another 50p to jakally sigh)

[titaniumbean]

Can I get cliffs on no3 as i've been away on horiday!?!   

Cliffs while you've been away? Won the monte carlo mate.

(another 50p to jakally sigh)

I was at home for that luckboxing you fish! 

[cambridgealex]

Can I get cliffs on no3 as i've been away on horiday!?!   

Cliffs while you've been away? Won the monte carlo mate.

(another 50p to jakally sigh)

I was at home for that luckboxing you fish! 

Yeh I know

[SuuPRlim]

Alex,

Not sure if I mentioned it before, but if not, now is probably as good a time as any. Last time I was back up at DTD you played a hand where you raised a couple of limpers with a King and a King, and found a couple of callers. The flop came 10-6-2 (or similar) with one spade. The limper somehow gets in c£500 on the flop against you with the mighty 10s-3s. Mbn. Runs out spade, spade, and you get gubbed in a healthy pot.

Genuinely, you showed no outward emotion. Obv those who play for a living every day see things like this plenty, but I was still impressed to see you neither (a) wince, (b) moan, (c) tilt. More of this please.

£35k will not make you immune to the emotions of any table, even a 50/1. A close relation of mine (father ldo) will still regale me with tales of winning £x here and £x there, for this is where his enjoyment lies. He knows in the long run he will be a loser in the game, but he plays for the challenge and the emotional highs derived from a winning session. Your job is to be there and take his money quietly when he has a losing session, and ensure that he feels good enough when he wins to come back next time. Your positive expectation, driven by a skill-divide Vs other players in the game, is as flimsy as your ability to balance (a) your emotions and (b) the longevity of the losing players in the game.

This isn't meant as criticism at all should it have come across as such. I genuinely enjoy this diary and sincerely hope you are back to winning ways soon. Will pop over and say hello if I make it up this weekend.

Cheers, Ed

what a brilliant post. +1 and very well said.

[kinboshi]

Alex,

Not sure if I mentioned it before, but if not, now is probably as good a time as any. Last time I was back up at DTD you played a hand where you raised a couple of limpers with a King and a King, and found a couple of callers. The flop came 10-6-2 (or similar) with one spade. The limper somehow gets in c£500 on the flop against you with the mighty 10s-3s. Mbn. Runs out spade, spade, and you get gubbed in a healthy pot.

Genuinely, you showed no outward emotion. Obv those who play for a living every day see things like this plenty, but I was still impressed to see you neither (a) wince, (b) moan, (c) tilt. More of this please.

£35k will not make you immune to the emotions of any table, even a 50/1. A close relation of mine (father ldo) will still regale me with tales of winning £x here and £x there, for this is where his enjoyment lies. He knows in the long run he will be a loser in the game, but he plays for the challenge and the emotional highs derived from a winning session. Your job is to be there and take his money quietly when he has a losing session, and ensure that he feels good enough when he wins to come back next time. Your positive expectation, driven by a skill-divide Vs other players in the game, is as flimsy as your ability to balance (a) your emotions and (b) the longevity of the losing players in the game.

This isn't meant as criticism at all should it have come across as such. I genuinely enjoy this diary and sincerely hope you are back to winning ways soon. Will pop over and say hello if I make it up this weekend.

Cheers, Ed

what a brilliant post. +1 and very well said.

+1

Post more!

[Mitch]

Mitch and Andy were at the table as well as Mitch being the most insensitive human being known to man didn't help snap me out of it.

Details of rubdowns  from Mitch would be good.

Im not that kind of guy






 

[JK]

Keep your chin up mate. The night is always darkest before dawn. x