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Author Topic: blonde NFL Fantasy League 2019/20  (Read 612064 times)
ChipRich
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« Reply #555 on: November 21, 2012, 11:52:22 PM »

Would have to be something pretty sick to lose Trent/Charles though.
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The Camel
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« Reply #556 on: November 22, 2012, 12:25:32 AM »

With the raising of an eyebrow or two, I've approved the outstanding trades.

Congratulations to the rapists out there!

Pot Kettle and Black spring to mind.

Reggie Wayne (wr ranked 7) and Wes Welker (wr ranked 15 despite carrying an injury and missiing some time)

he wants for



wait for it.




you should have a needle and thread handy in case your sides split laughing at his bare faced cheek




Reggie bush (rb ranked 19 who is averaging 30 yds per game rushing in his last 6 outings), Chris Ivory (rb ranked 63 who is just behind Albert Steptoe on the Saints rb depth chart) and Miles Austin (wr ranked 19 who drops more balls than Alan Rough)



Hmmm. Should I accept?
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Congratulations to the 2012 League Champion - Stapleton Atheists

"Keith The Camel, a true champion!" - Brent Horner 30th December 2012

"I dont think you're a wanker Keith" David Nicholson 4th March 2013
Horneris
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« Reply #557 on: November 22, 2012, 01:17:56 AM »

haha Sheriff is defo the stingiest offerer of trades. I'll never forget when he offered me his 2 Bills running backs for LeSean McCoy and AJ Green.

Earlier on he made an offer to ChipRich. He wanted to trade Reggie Bush, Miles Austin and Denarius Moore for Calvin Johnson and Trent Richardson, wtf!!!

Its not a slur on him, hes a great guy and has run our league with honour and class, its just comedy.
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The Camel
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« Reply #558 on: November 22, 2012, 01:22:45 AM »

haha Sheriff is defo the stingiest offerer of trades. I'll never forget when he offered me his 2 Bills running backs for LeSean McCoy and AJ Green.

Earlier on he made an offer to ChipRich. He wanted to trade Reggie Bush, Miles Austin and Denarius Moore for Calvin Johnson and Trent Richardson, wtf!!!

Its not a slur on him, hes a great guy and has run our league with honour and class, its just comedy.

He's like the online poker player who bets $5 into an $800 pot on the river in the hopes his opponent will misclick fold
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Congratulations to the 2012 League Champion - Stapleton Atheists

"Keith The Camel, a true champion!" - Brent Horner 30th December 2012

"I dont think you're a wanker Keith" David Nicholson 4th March 2013
Sheriff Fatman
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« Reply #559 on: November 22, 2012, 01:31:35 AM »

I'm taking all of this as a compliment, you know!

I figured that, as it's trade rape week, I'd try and get in on the act.  Smiley
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« Reply #560 on: November 22, 2012, 01:32:55 AM »

haha Sheriff is defo the stingiest offerer of trades. I'll never forget when he offered me his 2 Bills running backs for LeSean McCoy and AJ Green.

Earlier on he made an offer to ChipRich. He wanted to trade Reggie Bush, Miles Austin and Denarius Moore for Calvin Johnson and Trent Richardson, wtf!!!

Its not a slur on him, hes a great guy and has run our league with honour and class, its just comedy.

He's like the online poker player who bets $5 into an $800 pot on the river in the hopes his opponent will misclick fold

These days, I'm more like into an $8 pot, and no-one ever folds!
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"...And If You Flash Him A Smile He'll Take Your Teeth As Deposit..."
"Sheriff Fatman" - Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine

2006 Blonde Caption Comp Ultimate Champion (to be replaced by actual poker achievements when I have any)

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« Reply #561 on: November 22, 2012, 02:39:39 AM »

Week 11 Report.  Need to get this one in now, seeing as we have the Turkey Day feast of football this evening:

Sheriff (6-5) 80.14 - Jek187 (7-4) 85.54 - Ship the sodding Snickers bar to Sheriff!  I deserve it this week (even though it was awarded elsewhere!)  After much prevaricating ahead of game time I decided I couldn't risk playing DJax with the unknown quantity of Foles throwing to him, and I couldn't play Cecil Shorts with a beat-up Blaine Gabbert throwing to him.  Both good calls, apart from the fact that Gabbert picked up another injury, got replaced by Chad 'about to go ballistic' Henne and the game went mad.  End result, 14 points on the bench that would have changed the result of this matchup!  Jek is now on a 5 game winning streak, albeit that this low scoring affair was his worst performance over that time, thanks mainly to Matt Ryan throwing 5 interceptions!  An opportunity missed, leaving me staring nervously over my shoulder in 6th place.  Jek can start to plan for his play-off campaign.

Marky/sharplea (4-7) 114.02 - Horneris (6-5) 131.10 - Double heartache for Taco Style this week as they run up the 2nd highest losing score of the season (replacing their own previous entry on the leaderboard) and lose star player Gronkowski in the process.  Horner's massive score was led by RG3's 34 points, who was near-perfect as the Redskins embarrassed the Eagles, but the Pats DEF weren't far behind and he could even afford to have Dwayne Bowe's duck-egg in the line up and Danario Alexander's 22pts on the bench.  Prior to breaking his arm, Gronk did manage to contribute 26pts to Taco's total, and there were healthy scores elsewhere, but they can now only match Sheriff's 6th place record so this looks like being a decisive blow in their play-off quest.  Horneris gets the win he desperately needed and is back in 5th place as a result.

Bobby1 (6-5) 73.46 - LeKnave (9-2) 107.78 - Another week, another win, for LeKnave yet the 7th win in a row is still not enough for him to take over top spot from the resilient Nakor.  This one was a comfortable win over Bobby1 led by the trio of Carson Palmer, Dez Bryant and LaRod Stevens-Howling(!!!)  Phil's team had healthy scores from his two QBs (albeit one on the bench) but struggled for points elsewhere and, he too, is in the squeaky bum part of the league with a 6-5 record.  No such worries for 9-2 LeKnave who's only remaining ambition over the next two weeks is to finally haul in Nakor and grab the No1 seed.

WPIL (3-8) 123.54 - ChipRich (5-6) 89.10 - More comfort for Horneris, after his woes of the previous week, as he also gets to see another team taken down by the might of WPIL's new-found form!  This time he managed to run up the 2nd highest total of the week, inspired by Andre Johnson's freakish performance, as they destroy ChipRich's team, which had tidy scoring from Peyton Manning, Trent Richardson and Megatron but a disaster in the form of Jeremy Maclin in the flex spot.  WPIL now charges out to a 3-8 record and on current form might end the season in a position which gives the impression that they actually participated in it!  Rich misses out on what he'd have thought was a golden chance to get into the play-off places.
 
Camel (5-6) 84.24 - Linux (2-9) 105.42 - Not content with one comedy result, the gameweek threw up a 2nd one with Linux' team also finding some form and securing a comfortable win over Camel.  Naturally, the big contributions came from the non-obvious spots of DEF and K (Packers and Shayne Graham respectively), along with another big week from Randall Cobb (ironically, now traded to Camel in one of this week's deals).  The score could have been much higher too, if Dalton and Lance Moore had started.  For Camel, the fact that TY Hilton outscored Aaron Rodgers says pretty much all you need to know about how his team performed.  His deadline week trade could prove to be a very sound piece of business, as he tries to claw back a one game deficit in the play-off chase.  Linux remains bottom for now.

Nakor (9-2) 64.76 - TightEnd (4-7) 60.58 - After setting all kinds of records of the good variety, Nakor now manages to set new standards at the arse-end of the record list by setting a new standard in the lowest winning score category.  Unsurprisingly, he achieved this mark against Tighty, who must surely have been contemplating suicide after this result, but in the end settled for being trade-raped by ChipRich (arguably, suicide might have been the less-shameful option!)  Top scorer for Nakor was Vincent Jackson with 17.40 points and he could even afford to have two doughnuts in the line-up.  We'll wait to see whether TightEnd's new line up of superstars from ChipRich can give him a decent score this week (don't hold your breath though!)  Nakor clings onto top spot as a result, Tighty is now at risk of being overhauled by WPIL!

Week 11 is in the books and, with it, we have 3 teams locked into the playoff spots.  Behind them, Bobby1, Horneris and Sheriff currently hold the 3 remaining places but Camel and ChipRich are hot on their heels.  Horneris and Sheriff meet in a crucial Week 12 matchup but the game of the week has to be the 7 game winning streak of LeKnave facing off against the 5-in-a-row Siberian Alcoholics.

No doubt every manager will be hoping that their games are done and dusted by Sunday so they don't have to bother themselves with the mouth-watering MNF game between the play-off high-draft pick chasing Panthers and Eagles (even I can't find a way to get excited about this).

And with that, it just remains to wish a Happy Thanksgiving Day to our American entrant, while for the rest of us it's simply another Thursday, albeit with 9 hours of NFL goodness in it!

YTD Records:

Highest Team Score:
1) 166.80 - B Side's (Week 5)
2) 154.44 - Siberian Alcoholics (Week 10)
3) 149.94 - Sheriff's Stars (Week 2)

Lowest Team Score:
1) 40.28 - Ruxin's Ravens (Week 8 )
2) 47.90 - WeHateDallas (Week 5)
3) 51.00 - Ruxin's Ravens (Week 10)

Lowest Winning Team Score:
1) 64.76 - B Side's (Week 11) vs PancakeBlock
2) 77.00 - Carisbrooke Chodes (Week 7) vs Dr Mantis Toboggan MD
3) 80.20 - Siberian Alcoholics (Week 5) vs Taco Style FF

Highest Losing Team Score:
1) 137.52 - Bobby1's Broncos (Week 10) vs Siberian Alcoholics
2) 114.02 - Taco Style FF (Week 11) vs Dr Mantis Toboggan MD
3) 113.48 - Robbies Gould en Shower (Week 5) vs Middleton Tyas Mayhem

Largest Winning Margin:
1) 86.50 - Dr Mantis Toboggan MD (Week 8 ) vs Ruxin's Ravens
2) 73.34 - B Side's (Week 5) vs Ruxin's Ravens
3) 64.96 - Carisbrooke Chodes (Week 5) vs WeHateDallas

Narrowest Winning Margin:
1) 0.16 - Robbies Gould en Shower (Week 10) vs B Side's
2) 0.38 - B Side's (Week 3) vs Siberian Alcoholics
3) 0.60 - Siberian Alcoholics (Week 7) vs Robbies Gould en Shower
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"...And If You Flash Him A Smile He'll Take Your Teeth As Deposit..."
"Sheriff Fatman" - Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine

2006 Blonde Caption Comp Ultimate Champion (to be replaced by actual poker achievements when I have any)

GUKPT Online Main Event Winner 2008 (yay, a poker achievement!)
Horneris
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« Reply #562 on: November 22, 2012, 02:52:17 AM »

Excellent post
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bobby1
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« Reply #563 on: November 22, 2012, 06:07:41 AM »

BTW just for clarity and to avoid any worries of a carve up the trade I sent to LeKnave was deffo not as intended. I play in four lges on the NFL site and was flicking between cunning plans in 2 different lges and made a complete pigs ear of it.

I could be the first person in the league who has then actually tried to vote against his own trade going thru ;o( I actually sent a different trade to someone else at the same time too but realised I had sausage fingered that one and cancelled it.

Not surprisingly he thinks it is Christmas instead of Thanksgiving and has sent me half a dozen responses ;o)

I am also available for acts of complete buffonery on birthdays and other special occasions too.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2012, 06:10:04 AM by bobby1 » Logged

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« Reply #564 on: November 22, 2012, 06:35:45 AM »

In fact FML, Am I the only person in the league that has to play B Side twice?

I feel like Jim  Mora.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwq7BYOnDrM

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« Reply #565 on: November 22, 2012, 11:54:06 AM »

In fact FML, Am I the only person in the league that has to play B Side twice?

I feel like Jim  Mora.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwq7BYOnDrM

One of my favourite NFL quotes!  I also love Singletary's "we go out and we hit people in the mouth".

Best one from this season:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXmXrqPZxms

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"...And If You Flash Him A Smile He'll Take Your Teeth As Deposit..."
"Sheriff Fatman" - Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine

2006 Blonde Caption Comp Ultimate Champion (to be replaced by actual poker achievements when I have any)

GUKPT Online Main Event Winner 2008 (yay, a poker achievement!)
Sheriff Fatman
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« Reply #566 on: November 23, 2012, 01:31:40 PM »

Interesting stat after last night's games.

Tighty didn't have a player in action yesterday, so is still sitting on zero points.  NFL.com have projected him to score 65.76 (albeit, their projections are shit!)  He's up against the formerly terrible, but still abandoned, team of WPIL who have already racked up 57.54 points from 3 players (Alfred Morris was also on his bench and scored another 17).

So, with a slight difference in actual points to the projections, there's a chance that TightEnd could have lost the matchup before any of his players take to the field, which I'm pretty sure would be a unique event if it does happen.


At one point yesterday, there was a similar looking gap developing in my matchup vs Horneris.  After the 2nd quarter madness in the Jet's game (3 Pat's TD's in 52secs, two of them from DEF), the Pats DEF had something like 35pts on top of RG3 and Witten's scores, vs 0 from Miles Austin (who got injured), 5 from Pettigrew (who had a fumble) and whatever point Brady had put up at the time.  Thankfully the gap narrowed a little by the end but the fatal blows may already have been delivered in that crucial matchup too.

In other words, FML!
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"...And If You Flash Him A Smile He'll Take Your Teeth As Deposit..."
"Sheriff Fatman" - Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine

2006 Blonde Caption Comp Ultimate Champion (to be replaced by actual poker achievements when I have any)

GUKPT Online Main Event Winner 2008 (yay, a poker achievement!)
Nakor
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« Reply #567 on: November 23, 2012, 08:15:11 PM »

Is there any way I can see all previous trades/waivers for a league?
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Shit post Nakor, such a clown.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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« Reply #568 on: November 23, 2012, 08:30:16 PM »

Question (another free league I'm in)

Matt Ryan against Tampa Bay or Andy Dalton against Oakland?
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ChipRich
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« Reply #569 on: November 23, 2012, 08:53:07 PM »

Question (another free league I'm in)

Matt Ryan against Tampa Bay or Andy Dalton against Oakland?

Gotta stick with Ryan i think. Dalton should have a decent enough game tho.
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