Luton 2012 thread, powered by the same old 3-4 posters

[the sicilian]

Raily Adge, where's my flag for my incred Xmas Cracker win? You sayed flags for all tourneys bar £5 rebuy isn't it?

Flags for Serial-Chops now is it?

Ridic. Ban, imo.

Seconded.... You are aware Choppers begged for the 10 way chop xmas eve whilst holding 1.5 BB.... mans a disgrace...

Not buying that, Chomps would never stoop so low. Would he? Glenda, yeah, standard, but not Chomps, he's my hero. Say it ain't so.

Fraid so..took a hundred quid to get it done... ud need a shovel to get lower than the chopmeister

[GMan]

6th for me last night.

5th Ben Pope

no deal Lieu 1st.

3 randoms for other 3 spots.

[Chompy]

Raily Adge, where's my flag for my incred Xmas Cracker win? You sayed flags for all tourneys bar £5 rebuy isn't it?

Flags for Serial-Chops now is it?

Ridic. Ban, imo.

Seconded.... You are aware Choppers begged for the 10 way chop xmas eve whilst holding 1.5 BB.... mans a disgrace...

No! It was Chinese George what had 1.5xBB. You misunderstood. Doesn't matter anyway. Result is OFFICIAL! Weighed in weighed in!

[Chompy]

Latest standings
Anthony Kendall         44
Paul Noonan             38
Ryan Spittles           23
--------------------------
Dean Morris             23
Gavin Kan               21
Darren Alien            21
Ady Lovelock            14
Graham Wheldon          0
Edna Adams              0
Julian Lefevre          0
Bharat Joshi            0
Ed Overall              0
Alex Riccardi-Warren    0
-------------------------
Dave Johnson            0

Here's the updated table. Awaiting official confirmation of course. Leagues do need to be 100% accurate after all.

[the sicilian]

Raily Adge, where's my flag for my incred Xmas Cracker win? You sayed flags for all tourneys bar £5 rebuy isn't it?

Flags for Serial-Chops now is it?

Ridic. Ban, imo.

Seconded.... You are aware Choppers begged for the 10 way chop xmas eve whilst holding 1.5 BB.... mans a disgrace...

No! It was Chinese George what had 1.5xBB. You misunderstood. Doesn't matter anyway. Result is OFFICIAL! Weighed in weighed in!

Sure was....

[GMan]

As usual my figures are 100percent accurate.

To make everyone aware each G casino is doing there own raffle £1 per ticket for GUKPTmain event entry (seat only), draw at end of each month so manchester would be the prize this month.

So if this month doesnt meet allocated prize money of £1070 whatever has been collated so far would roll over to next month and so on.

George will correct me if im wrong here.

[Chompy]

Latest standings
Anthony Kendall         44
Paul Noonan             43
Ryan Spittles           28
--------------------------
Dean Morris             23
Gavin Kan               21
Darren Alien            21
Ady Lovelock            14
Alex Riccardi-Warren    0
Bharat Joshi            0
Edna Adams              0
Ed Overall              0
Graham Wheldon          0
Julian Lefevre          0
-------------------------
Zdave Johnson           0

It's been a good start for the Sky Poker troll, who sits just 1pt behind his master after last night's sixth. Bunch of randoms filled the first five spots. As seen below look:

Last night's result

1 Mathew Anthony Keevil "Keevils Wobble But Don't Fall Down" £750
2 John Salem "Witch Trials" £550
3 Erik Hansen "NOT GUS" £370
4 Steven Smith "GoldFever" £220
5 John Hartwell £180
6 Paul Noonan "King Troll" £130

Entries 41

[Chompy]

Now alphabetised by christian name. Ask and ye shall receive.

[tikay]

Now alphabetised by christian name. Ask and ye shall receive.

Superb!

[TightEnd]

Sky Poker Tour Luton

28-29 Jan 2pm both days

Direct entry now via Sky poker Tournament Lobby for £220

Or nightly Satellite Qualification

£30,000 guaranteed

capped at 200 runners

15,000 chips and a 40 minute clock over two days

Level   Small Blind Big Blind Ante
1    25    50    
2    50    100    
3    75    150    
4    100    200    
5    100    200    25
6    150    300    25
7    200    400    50
8    300    600    50
9    400    800    100
10    600    1200 100
11    800    1600 200
12    1000 2000 200
13    1200 2400 300
14    1500 3000 300
15    2000 4000 400
16    3000 6000 600
17    4000 8000 800
18    5000 10000 1000
19    6000 12000 1000
20    8000 16000 1500
21    10000 20000 2000
22    12000 24000 2500
23    15000 30000 3000
24    20000 40000 4000
25    25000 50000 5000
26    30000 60000 6000
27    40000 80000 8000
28    50000 100000 10000
29    60000 120000 12000
30    75000 150000 15000

Winner receives entry into the DTD SPT Grand Final in September


The following events over that weekend are SPT side events

Friday 27 Jan £100 NLHE Freezeout. 10,000 chips 30 minute blinds 8pm

Saturday 28 Jan £30 NLHE Freezeout £600 guaranteed to the winner. 8,000 chips 30 minute blinds for 3 levels then 25 minutes 8pm

Sunday 29 Jan £50 NLHE Freezeout 10,000 chips 30 minute blinds for 3 levels then 25 minutes 8pm

Skypoker Adding to each of those events,

1st Sky Roller seat,

2nd Primo Seat

3rd Sky Sports Bounty Hunter Seat


All four events count for the 11-12 SPT leaderboard

[ruholding]

Raily Adge, where's my flag for my incred Xmas Cracker win? You sayed flags for all tourneys bar £5 rebuy isn't it?

Flags for Serial-Chops now is it?

Ridic. Ban, imo.

Seconded.... You are aware Choppers begged for the 10 way chop xmas eve whilst holding 1.5 BB.... mans a disgrace...

Not buying that, Chomps would never stoop so low. Would he? Glenda, yeah, standard, but not Chomps, he's my hero. Say it ain't so.

i was therew chompy had more than 1.5 bigs END OF

[Poker_Monkey]

Raily Adge, where's my flag for my incred Xmas Cracker win? You sayed flags for all tourneys bar £5 rebuy isn't it?

Flags for Serial-Chops now is it?

Ridic. Ban, imo.

Seconded.... You are aware Choppers begged for the 10 way chop xmas eve whilst holding 1.5 BB.... mans a disgrace...

Not buying that, Chomps would never stoop so low. Would he? Glenda, yeah, standard, but not Chomps, he's my hero. Say it ain't so.

i was therew chompy had more than 1.5 bigs END OF

Was it 2 bigs then

[ruholding]

Raily Adge, where's my flag for my incred Xmas Cracker win? You sayed flags for all tourneys bar £5 rebuy isn't it?

Flags for Serial-Chops now is it?

Ridic. Ban, imo.

Seconded.... You are aware Choppers begged for the 10 way chop xmas eve whilst holding 1.5 BB.... mans a disgrace...

Not buying that, Chomps would never stoop so low. Would he? Glenda, yeah, standard, but not Chomps, he's my hero. Say it ain't so.

i was therew chompy had more than 1.5 bigs END OF

Was it 2 bigs then

correct sir - he is a better negotiator than kofi annan

[luther101]

As this thread's already dying on it's posterior (bring back Tighty, say I)    ....    time for a 'Loofah Review' of last night's action, to breathe some life into it.

As your noble author dutifully lined up in the queue of one, he keenly surveyed the (not very) massed ranks of opposition.

The Khajuria Bruvs had come tooled up for the ruck - Lally with a cunningly concealed sharpened up Sudoku biro in his sock, and Chandra had bought the missus   ...    just in case things got out of hand, and some gimpy Upstart fancied a game of Kabbadi.

Not many Ultras in attendance; no Chumpy (fluid on the knee problems) - no Carpark Henderson (last seen doing Tai Chi in a hush hush location, up in the remote Chiltern Hills, in preparation for his next bare knuckle bout with Tattooed Terry at Tring Town Hall – apparently Ghengis Gav had to nurse his new boyfriend (consigned to bed with Stanley’s Spangledown Syndrome) - not even that "Bloke what's off the telly" (last seen rummaging around the shrubbery in Bushy Park - clutching binoculars - desperately trying to spot a Lesser Spotted Mozambiquan Chaffinch, or a Boeing Dreamliner flying overhead ftw) - even the (former) GUKPT Blackpool Champ hadn't made it back from his Xmas Retreat with the homeless at Centre-point, as yet (they don't hand out the Yuletide Oxfam moth-eaten cardigans till this Friday, apparently).

As for the rest      ….        a motley looking crew, who looked like they’d been ejected from a ‘Windows for Dummies’ NYE  party, and hadn’t been home for a change of underwear yet!

The off     …..       Puss Hansen assumed table captaincy.

All and sundry ‘delighted’ in his non-stop commentary, analysis of  everyone’s play, and his sycophantic attempts to wedge his proboscis between Jim McBride’s lower cheeks.

I was that impressed I spent to first hour whittling down a nearby coffee tabletop into a harpoon with my right thumbnail     ….     unfortunately, they broke the table before I could Moby Dick my new found garrulous friend!

Onto table 1 with average chips and a Grandstand seat to gaze, in awe, as Mr Pham Bam Thank You Mam got a pair nine times in each orbit, for over an hour.

Getting testily short stacked I espy A Q happily gazing up at me from the felt     ….    and all was well on planet Earth.

As the table folded round Loofah’s tendons tightened ready to launch the attack      …..       FML - 144 Year Heater (over) opens, with an evil glint in his eye.

My world span around me - confusion, doubt, self loathing (well    ….    not really, that’s impossible, tbf), a total inner emptiness engulfed me.

So – in true cowardly Chompyesque style – I jammed.

Blofeldt wickedly smirked as he turned over the crushingly dominant A K- your Noble Author fumbled, and stumbled, to his feet as the fourth brick hit the board.

A quick body swerve avoided the poisoned tipped Sudoku Spear as it ricocheted off the felt, when HM the Queen paid a Royal Visit on the river     ….     Lally was rather unimpressed!

Onto the FT with (a now righteously stack restored) Khaj Bruv and – mainly – a collection of be-spectacled, acne encrusted yoof (all wearing odd shaped creations of their Nan’s knitting needles), plus of course Mr Pair Every Hand Pham (being railed by his delicately unobtrusive wife).

Mr Phamtastic had re-raised a spindly, spineless, contribution to the pot as Loofah looked down at the Bobbies.

Jamety Jam – assuming the Pair Poacher had hit his 14th pair of nines in the last hour – and Mr P goes into the tank, mumbling about “Races”.

Happy that I was up against A K/A Q, I observed his ponderings with interest.

He eventually called - and I realised something had got ‘lost in the translation’ with “Races” – as he furnished KK for my perusal.

Obviously the Bobbies tripped up – which was only right and proper with Grand Master Lally sitting to my right, nodding approvingly.

Weird, and wonderful, play ensued as The Acneroids attempted to soft play their fellow BOBs (Body Odour Buddies) into the money.

Then, down to six, the ‘play’ of the night unfurled.

EP raise, all in, BB goes into the Tank.

BB (Suntanned John) folds his cards, with a look of anguish spreading across his un-Botoxed facial furrows      ….     then appeared rather shocked that his pocket Queens were rather good against the poo that was on offer (errrrrrrm, he said he was worried about AK, or an over-pair! Bizarre? Not at all,  I mused that this fellah – who arrives in his brand new Bentley for a £50 comp – probably had a large Leccy bill to pay, so was right to ladder!)

Well he sure got his tactics right, and surged a spot in the very next hand.

His make up of the SB was met with a disdainful Jam, as Loofah gazed wonderously down at the Big Slick in the BB.

Somehow – goodness knows how - he managed to summon up the courage to call with his pocket Kings, this man knew no fear!

A pleasing Ace was quickly followed by a rather unpleasing four clubs, and Jilted John jumped for joy.
A weird Wankers Wednesday was thus concluded pour moi, as I wandered off to gleefully sign the booby prize-ticket, and left Puss Hansen to analyse my demise.

[nirvana]

Excellent Paul, for one so inarticulate in real life, you write entertainingly :-)