The Mission
It was a subdued team that gathered on the Saturday morning. After Nandos they had returned to the Bet Cave to begin their mission. It had started so well. Tighty had tipped Samoa to beat the Welsh, Dubai had given a superb straight forecast on the dogs, and Eso even picked MK Dons to beat Tranmere. By midnight they were up to £15k and over halfway to the target.
Then things turned, as they so often do. It began with Tighty deciding that Bell to score a 50 in the first innings was a great spot of value. As usual Tikay followed him blindly and even bet more than Tighty had said, after all it was a batsmen's paradise. Bell's first ball dismissal stunned them all. Tighty let out a mighty bellow " You ********** idiot " and stomped off to bed. There followed a true horror story. Trying to get the money back before morning Tikay blindly followed Bad Beat's basketball tips. As the amount bet got bigger, the amount they lost by got smaller. But they all lost non the less.
" When will we ever win on basketball ?" Tikay mumbled to himself.
So there they were in the morning, only £ 300 left in the kitty. Even if it all went on the draw in the England Australia rugby match it would not be nearly enough to save Mere.
" I have an idea " said Millidonk. " It's a bit out of left field but it's something I have discussed with superwomble. We have noticed that there are a disproportionate number of matches in Scotland that have both teams scoring. How about I come up with 9 game acca ? That will pay 80-1 so for £300 and change we will get to £25k. "
The team agreed that this was their best chance, so Milli went to work.
" It works best if we come up with a name for the type of bet and a picture of what we want to get. I did it recently and got a dining table. Would anyone like to see the picture ? "
" How about goals in Scotland save Mere ? " sniggered Dubai.
" I like that. It's kind of catchy " said Milli.
So whilst they cleaned up Mere and Tikay took his picture, Milli studied the fixtures and came up with his choices.
At 3pm they were all nervously logged on to the BBC website on their laptops watching the videprinter.
Well it started with a trickle. Which became a stream which became a deluge. Goals everywhere in Scotland. By 4.40pm they were there in all bar 1 match which stood Dundee 3 Hibernian 0. Minutes later the score was still the same. All the team were thinking "one time. Please".
Tikay could stand it no more. He covered his eyes with his hands and was slowly moving them across, his particular version of the squeeze. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed they were all doing it. Bad Beat had his jumper over his face and was peering through the fabric. Milli was behind the sofa looking over the top. Tighty's method was quite bizarre and involved a rapid blinking movement. Eso Kral had his back to his laptop and would suddenly twist round for a quick look at the screen, while Dubai was using a piece of paper with a hole cut in it.
Goal Dundee 3
Hibernian 1 90mins Griffiths.
There was no uproar just silence as they were all emotionally drained. The reality of their achievement started to sink in.They had done it. They had achieved the unimaginable. Millidonk's GISSM was going to save Mere Novice after all.
A flight going to Colorado was booked for that very evening.
As the Airbus 380 taxied towards the runway the stewardess was intrigued by a pair of passengers halfway down the aisle. A bespectacled middle aged man with a half smile and a vacant look in his eye who was watching ladies tennis on the entertainment screen. And the other man, who she thought must be his father who was taking photos of planes out of the window. She wondered what the story was behind them. Well if she was told the truth she just wouldn't have believed it.
The End
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