Tal and public transport. What could possibly go wrong?

[Tal]

I am on a train (cross country 172 if that helps, Tikay) from Birmingham New Street to Cambridge.

Lovely and quiet.

At Leicester, about ten mins ago, on get two chaps in their late 30s. One has 80% of his body tattooed, a good chunk of which looks like prison art. He and his mate stink of weed and beer.

Matey boy is quiet but a bit giggly. All good. The inked man swears like a trucker who's nailing his hand to a wall. He picks up his mobile and calls a friend of his. While it is ringing, matey asks where they're watching the match tonight and that agree - to much hilarity - that the pub next to the prison will be fun. Marv.

Inked man then gets through to number 3. Number 3 has apparently beaten up his girlfriend. They were on a night out last night and went kerbcrawling, got chased by the police and somehow managed to convince the officer all was well. Nope. They were in the cells!

Much chat about drugs and just about everything else.

So I'm going to stop typing as heaven forbid they suspect I'm typing about them! They're enjoying themselves anyway and not causing any trouble. All good.

All for a £20 train ticket. Better than a film this.

[aaron1867]

pictures or it did not happen

[Skippy]

I am on a train (cross country 172 if that helps, Tikay) from Birmingham New Street to Cambridge.

Lovely and quiet.

At Leicester, about ten mins ago, on get two chaps in their late 30s. One has 80% of his body tattooed, a good chunk of which looks like prison art. He and his mate stink of weed and beer.

Matey boy is quiet but a bit giggly. All good. The inked man swears like a trucker who's nailing his hand to a wall. He picks up his mobile and calls a friend of his. While it is ringing, matey asks where they're watching the match tonight and that agree - to much hilarity - that the pub next to the prison will be fun. Marv.

Inked man then gets through to number 3. Number 3 has apparently beaten up his girlfriend. They were on a night out last night and went kerbcrawling, got chased by the police and somehow managed to convince the officer all was well. Nope. They were in the cells!

Much chat about drugs and just about everything else.

So I'm going to stop typing as heaven forbid they suspect I'm typing about them! They're enjoying themselves anyway and not causing any trouble. All good.

All for a £20 train ticket. Better than a film this.

Odds on them having a ticket? You might be witnessing a ticket collector beating in a minute.

[Eso Kral]

Anyone for a game of Chess?

[Doobs]

I am not sure I follow the kerb crawling/wife beating/prison cell incident too clearly and do they let ruffians keep their cellular phones when incarcerated these days?

...or is it just compulsory to post here while drunk these days.

[Tal]

I'm doing my level best not to listen too intently, tbf. Suspect it's a mixture of fact and fiction. I don't think he's been released today; just that he's out and spent a night without charge in the cells last night. Would get his mobile back afterwards then.

Ticket issue would be hilarious and by hilarious I mean not hilarious.

They seem amiable enough - like 90% of those who have spent time at Her Majesty's pleasure. Probably not leaving the valuables unattended, mind.

Will ask if they'll pose for photos, right after I've spent a night with Kate Moss and Sienna Miller.

[Tal]

Anyone for a game of Chess?

There's me with a Telegraph and a book on the Riemann Hypothesis. I'm so urban.

Just passing Peterborough prison.

[Tal]

They've got off now (as in alighted. They're not kissing)

Train seems eerily quiet, despite being full.

Isn't it brilliant how everyone seems to unite in these situations? I've just exchanged glances with a few other people on the train. Just a raised eyebrow or two and half a smile and everyone knows they feel the same.

I never felt in any danger but it wasn't what I expected on this journey.

I now have a woman sitting opposite me who is obviously about to visit a lover: checking and re-checking her make-up, constantly adjusting herself, spraying comically cheap perfume all over the place (down her cleavage, if you please! She must have plans) and one more thing... yes a minor detail...a 3 litre bottle of cider.

Haven't been to East Anglia in a while.

[StuartHopkin]

Or maybe she is about to offer you a mouthful?

[david3103]

if you book in advance it's amazing how reasonable  the Frst Class tickets are...

Women in there spray expensive perfume and offer champagne you know

[BangBang]

I am on a train (cross country 172 if that helps, Tikay) from Birmingham New Street to Cambridge.

Lovely and quiet.

At Leicester, about ten mins ago, on get two chaps in their late 30s. One has 80% of his body tattooed, a good chunk of which looks like prison art. He and his mate stink of weed and beer.

How can you be so sure.... ?

[Tal]

Well the next part of my journey was even more fun.

I used the opportunity of the coach being quiet to pop to the facilities. On my return, as I was putting in my headphones, the lady opposite said "horrible when it's quiet, isn't it?!" I put my generic MP3 player down and agreed, as would seem only right, being the chivalrous sort I am.

She then proceeded to tell me, over the next 45 minutes, a sizeable chunk of her life story. She had just been released from Peterborough Magistrates' Court...from a charge of shoplifting!

She spoke well and told a pretty sorry tale of minor offences, trips in and out of Her Majesty's pleasure and was fully accepting of the fact that it was her own doing. She has been homeless for some time.

After what might have seemed like a 45minute confession, she asked what I did for a living. I very carefully answered that I had an office job in Birmingham, omitting any details like working in the legal sector!

She was good company, although it is entirely true that I found both halves of the journey more stressful than I wanted.

I hadn't appreciated that Coach C stood for Convicts, but no more reprehensible than casino company, I suppose

I made it to Cambridge without a word said in anger or a sense that my property was in any danger. But it was still a long 2.5 hours!

[Honeybadger]

Tal... are you a poshboy like Cambridgealex?

[pokerfan]

Tal... are you a poshboy like Cambridgealex?

Tal makes Alex look like a chav 

[titaniumbean]

Anyone for a game of Chess?

There's me with a Telegraph and a book on the Riemann Hypothesis. I'm so urban.

Just passing Peterborough prison.

absolutely no idea who you are in person, but love your posts.

I also read the chess thread, it's just by the time i've watched someone explain why i'm so shit at chess i've closed the thread and forgotten :p