Poker Media Mid Life Crisis

[Tal]

Tighty, how the heck did you take that picture?

[Laxie]

Tighty, how the heck did you take that picture?

   Took me a sec...

[BorntoBubble]

Tighty, how the heck did you take that picture?

   Took me a sec...

long arms

[DaveShoelace]

Great weekend at the old Sky Pokers.

My car was getting new sparkplugs (or something) over the weekend, so I went for my high variance 'get a train there, try and build a big stack before last train home so I dont have to pay for a hotel unless its worth it strategy'. Luckily for me FUN4FRASIER was also going so he gave me a lift down, and I assumed that would be my lift home wrapped up, but he went out in the first hour (Set over set, there were witnesses). Then my old PokerNews chum Matt Pitt offered me a lift back, and proceeded to bust out within 20 minutes of that. Then Guy Johnson offered me a lift, and funnily got moved to my table putting me in some potentials 'bust out for a guaranteed life/bust guy and you have to get a hotel' scenarios.

Table dynamic was funny because there was a young man who was completely wasted, and also colour blind, meaning he didnt really know what his stacks of chips were worth. As such he as opening to 6,000 in the 100/200 levels and calling huge shoves with things like 4-5 off. As a result, everyone was essentially waiting to get in hands with him and expecting to be playing for stacks when they did. He slowed down a bit, quite literally he started to get a bit sleepy.

Anyhoo I found myself on the button with top pair no kicker with about 50 minutes before my last train and I thought it would be a good time to double or go home. I went home obvs. Declined Guy on his kind offer of a lift because he could have been there till the wee hours and Gina had leftover chinese food waiting for me.

Had a great time, but I really have forgotton how to play poker. I have a very one dimensional game these days, I was probably the worst (sober) player at my table. The only thing going for me really these days is I am quite loose, so at least I have a chance of getting lucky. Whenever I tell people this about my own poker game they are really concerned, but I enjoy poker more now than when I was playing 16 tables at a time and working really hard on my game. I have reverted back to a place of blissful ignorance. I like to think I can still talk a good high level game, because of the nature of my work and the company I keep, but in the moment at the tables I am pretty much 'duuuuuh I have a pair I bet, aces are pretty etc'. 

On the last train back it was full of pissheads. One guy was running around with his winky out, a woman was running around with someone elses shoes that she had stolen and someone was smoking weed at the end of the carriage. Every single one of these 'louts' was over the age of 50. I felt a right square sat at the other end reading a Malcolm Gladwell book hoping none of the older boys would make eye contact with me.

Had a good day yesterday - sunday lunch, big dog walk, managed to get in four episodes of the Wire because I woke up stupid early. Only bad part of was being dragged around town by er indoors who wanted some boots:

[AlunB]

Blissful ignorance every time! Totally with you on that one.

[DaveShoelace]

Today will probably always be the default worst day of the year, as it is the third anniversary of my Dad dying.

Popping round my Mums in an hour or two. I'm pleased to say she is doing great, doesn't want to mope around all day, and is really getting on with her life and doing fun things. I'm doing great, really loving life too. My twin sister, I think in relative terms has probably taken in the worst of all of us, but she is starting to get on with stuff too.  

Shocking to think it has been three years. Some of it feels like yesterday, but I can't remember what life was like before this happened. The one thing I am sure of is I have changed personally. On the good side of things I get on better with my Mum (we used to biccer), I am really focussed and hard working (I wasn't before) and I pride myself on being honest and doing the right thing to emulate him. On the negative I do worry more about things out of my control, and I find it hard to relax and just sit still. I think basically the whole experience has forced me into a responsible 'man of the house' mentality, which quite frankly I am pleased about.

One of the nice things for me is seeing myself pick up character traits my Dad had. Whether they are learned or genetic I don't know, but it's nice to carry the good things on for others to see. Even though he was never career minded, my Dad worked hard and respected anyone who made an effort and put in hard work, and I value it perhaps more than any other worky trait. He didn't like moaners or people that bitched behind people's back and nor do I. My Dad was a huge dog lover and that has carried over big time. Most of all he never hestitated to give people help when they needed it and I try my best to do the same.

Day to day, I don't miss him, which makes me feel guilty. However the times I find the hardest are ones where I would have loved him to have been there, which includes when something funny is on TV, when the dogs do something funny, when I need car advice or when a good boxing match is on. Last night was a good example, he loved Tom Hanks movies and 'epic' lengthy movies, and I saw the new Captain Phillips movie which was both. It was the best film I've seen for a good couple of years and would have loved to have watched it with him. Other than my wedding, the biggest time I would have loved him to be there is when his best friend, who in 30 years has never had a girlfriend, one day turned up to Mums with a hot Ukrianian fiance half his age. The entire family was in funny shock, could not believe what happened and we all know dad would have wet himself. I actually think the friend would not have had the guts to bring her round if Dad was still around, as jokes about him buying her would have been rife.

Though I don't miss him on a daily basis, not a day goes by without me remembering the moment Mum told me over the phone. That was the thing that has stuck, and I guess haunted me. The funeral I barely remember, seeing his body when I got home didn't leave an imprint (and I really would have thought it would), but the moment Mum told me I will never forget. Nor will I forget telling my wife, and worst of all, my sister over the phone - hands down the worst moment of my life.

His death was sudden and unexpected. He would have pissed himself, because he had a sick sense of humour, that it would happen while he was watching X-Factor and shouting at the screen. He died with a remote control in his hand, which again he would have found hilaerous. He was 72 and it was a heart attack. Although it was gut wrenching and shocking, sudden and unexpected really is the best way to go. He told me many times that is how he wanted it (He actually wanted to get hit by a bus he didn't see coming). I'm so glad I never saw him suffer or get ill or lose his facultys, I have seen that with some of my friends parents and it certainly seems a thousand times worst. My dad loved dogs and cars and he got to drive his Subaru and walk my dog the day he died, so in hindsight I think it was the best way to go.

Anyway don't worry about me, I'm in good spirits today and looking forward to a big breakfast and a dog walk (Remind me to tell you the funny story about his ashes later). Its good to spew all this stuff out once in a while.

[RED-DOG]

Today will probably always be the default worst day of the year, as it is the third anniversary of my Dad dying.

Popping round my Mums in an hour or two. I'm pleased to say she is doing great, doesn't want to mope around all day, and is really getting on with her life and doing fun things. I'm doing great, really loving life too. My twin sister, I think in relative terms has probably taken in the worst of all of us, but she is starting to get on with stuff too.  

Shocking to think it has been three years. Some of it feels like yesterday, but I can't remember what life was like before this happened. The one thing I am sure of is I have changed personally. On the good side of things I get on better with my Mum (we used to biccer), I am really focussed and hard working (I wasn't before) and I pride myself on being honest and doing the right thing to emulate him. On the negative I do worry more about things out of my control, and I find it hard to relax and just sit still. I think basically the whole experience has forced me into a responsible 'man of the house' mentality, which quite frankly I am pleased about.

One of the nice things for me is seeing myself pick up character traits my Dad had. Whether they are learned or genetic I don't know, but it's nice to carry the good things on for others to see. Even though he was never career minded, my Dad worked hard and respected anyone who made an effort and put in hard work, and I value it perhaps more than any other worky trait. He didn't like moaners or people that bitched behind people's back and nor do I. My Dad was a huge dog lover and that has carried over big time. Most of all he never hestitated to give people help when they needed it and I try my best to do the same.

Day to day, I don't miss him, which makes me feel guilty. However the times I find the hardest are ones where I would have loved him to have been there, which includes when something funny is on TV, when the dogs do something funny, when I need car advice or when a good boxing match is on. Last night was a good example, he loved Tom Hanks movies and 'epic' lengthy movies, and I saw the new Captain Phillips movie which was both. It was the best film I've seen for a good couple of years and would have loved to have watched it with him. Other than my wedding, the biggest time I would have loved him to be there is when his best friend, who in 30 years has never had a girlfriend, one day turned up to Mums with a hot Ukrianian fiance half his age. The entire family was in funny shock, could not believe what happened and we all know dad would have wet himself. I actually think the friend would not have had the guts to bring her round if Dad was still around, as jokes about him buying her would have been rife.

Though I don't miss him on a daily basis, not a day goes by without me remembering the moment Mum told me over the phone. That was the thing that has stuck, and I guess haunted me. The funeral I barely remember, seeing his body when I got home didn't leave an imprint (and I really would have thought it would), but the moment Mum told me I will never forget. Nor will I forget telling my wife, and worst of all, my sister over the phone - hands down the worst moment of my life.

His death was sudden and unexpected. He would have pissed himself, because he had a sick sense of humour, that it would happen while he was watching X-Factor and shouting at the screen. He died with a remote control in his hand, which again he would have found hilaerous. He was 72 and it was a heart attack. Although it was gut wrenching and shocking, sudden and unexpected really is the best way to go. He told me many times that is how he wanted it (He actually wanted to get hit by a bus he didn't see coming). I'm so glad I never saw him suffer or get ill or lose his facultys, I have seen that with some of my friends parents and it certainly seems a thousand times worst. My dad loved dogs and cars and he got to drive his Subaru and walk my dog the day he died, so in hindsight I think it was the best way to go.

Anyway don't worry about me, I'm in good spirits today and looking forward to a big breakfast and a dog walk (Remind me to tell you the funny story about his ashes later). Its good to spew all this stuff out once in a while.

What a great post. So much of it rings true for me, especially this bit.

"Day to day, I don't miss him, which makes me feel guilty. However the times I find the hardest are ones where I would have loved him to have been there"

Unfortunately my dad didn't have the luxury of a quick death. He suffered horribly, not least because of the failings of some mind bogglingly incompetent and uncaring members of the medical profession.

It makes me realise how poingant the line from Kenny Rogers 'The Gambler' is.

Every hand's a winner, and every hand's a loser.
The best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.

RIP Mr Carter.

 

[Eso Kral]

Great Post Barry and like Tom brings an awful lot back for me as well.

RIP Mr Carter

[tikay]

A lovely post about Daddy Carter.

So true, too, we miss our Dad most when we want him to share something with us, or say, "look Dad, look what I achieved or did" & we know he'd have been so proud.

My Dad has been gone over 30 years now, but I still think of him in those ways, when I do something good or bad, I still want him to judge me.

[tikay]

Tighty, how the heck did you take that picture?

I think the photo was taken by Lord Milner, Head of Next Door.

[tikay]

Great weekend at the old Sky Pokers.

My car was getting new sparkplugs (or something) over the weekend, so I went for my high variance 'get a train there, try and build a big stack before last train home so I dont have to pay for a hotel unless its worth it strategy'. Luckily for me FUN4FRASIER was also going so he gave me a lift down, and I assumed that would be my lift home wrapped up, but he went out in the first hour (Set over set, there were witnesses). Then my old PokerNews chum Matt Pitt offered me a lift back, and proceeded to bust out within 20 minutes of that. Then Guy Johnson offered me a lift, and funnily got moved to my table putting me in some potentials 'bust out for a guaranteed life/bust guy and you have to get a hotel' scenarios.

Table dynamic was funny because there was a young man who was completely wasted, and also colour blind, meaning he didnt really know what his stacks of chips were worth. As such he as opening to 6,000 in the 100/200 levels and calling huge shoves with things like 4-5 off. As a result, everyone was essentially waiting to get in hands with him and expecting to be playing for stacks when they did. He slowed down a bit, quite literally he started to get a bit sleepy.

Anyhoo I found myself on the button with top pair no kicker with about 50 minutes before my last train and I thought it would be a good time to double or go home. I went home obvs. Declined Guy on his kind offer of a lift because he could have been there till the wee hours and Gina had leftover chinese food waiting for me.

Had a great time, but I really have forgotton how to play poker. I have a very one dimensional game these days, I was probably the worst (sober) player at my table. The only thing going for me really these days is I am quite loose, so at least I have a chance of getting lucky. Whenever I tell people this about my own poker game they are really concerned, but I enjoy poker more now than when I was playing 16 tables at a time and working really hard on my game. I have reverted back to a place of blissful ignorance. I like to think I can still talk a good high level game, because of the nature of my work and the company I keep, but in the moment at the tables I am pretty much 'duuuuuh I have a pair I bet, aces are pretty etc'.  

On the last train back it was full of pissheads. One guy was running around with his winky out, a woman was running around with someone elses shoes that she had stolen and someone was smoking weed at the end of the carriage. Every single one of these 'louts' was over the age of 50. I felt a right square sat at the other end reading a Malcolm Gladwell book hoping none of the older boys would make eye contact with me.

Had a good day yesterday - sunday lunch, big dog walk, managed to get in four episodes of the Wire because I woke up stupid early. Only bad part of was being dragged around town by er indoors who wanted some boots:

Wow, I can so empathise with that.

I'm so terribad these days, but the weird thing is, I've NEVER enjoyed poker more than I do now. Ain't that a thing?

I just play small-ball PLO8 stuff, maybe 10 or 20 STT's a day, £5 or £10 each, but I have an absolute ball, & I don't lose any money. I rarely play more than 3 Tables at once, 4 at most, because that starts to get stressy, & the whole ideas for me is that I relax completely when I play poker.

Guess I must once have been the characteristic "Mr Angry" poker player, swearing & snarling at others players, bad beats, bad calls, da de da, but I've arrived at a much nicer place now, & I love it to bits. The journey was so worthwhile.  My Vegas trips remain my annual highlight, & my game just about manages to ensure I come home every year with a small profit, but a lot of wonderful memories.

Thanks for that Post Barry, it rang so many bells. 

[technolog]

Great post about your dad, Barry. Much of it resonates with my lovely mum's untimely death 20 years ago. RIP Barry Carter's dad.

[DaveShoelace]

A lovely post about Daddy Carter.

So true, too, we miss our Dad most when we want him to share something with us, or say, "look Dad, look what I achieved or did" & we know he'd have been so proud.

My Dad has been gone over 30 years now, but I still think of him in those ways, when I do something good or bad, I still want him to judge me.

Very much this.

My Dad saw me get engaged, but didn't see me get married, I'm glad he at least knew I was getting married.

I would have loved for him to have been around when our first book was published. My Dad worked for the family firm, but didn't like it and swore I wouldn't go down that path like everyone else in the family did. Me and my sister were the first of all the Carter family to go to Uni, which I know he was delighted with for pure oneupmanship purposes. I would have loved for him to have bragged about our book to my Uncles.

[DaveShoelace]

It's actually been a good day, everyone was in good cheer. That is because my Mum's dog, Martha, has passed a test to become a therapy dog. She is about as docile as a dog gets, she just sits there getting stroked all day, so is perfect to be a therapy dog.

You'll have to excuse the picture, she is so docile my mum exploits her at every turn by dressing her up as people.

[celtic]

Nice post about your dad, Barry.