The I've Never Seen That Before at a Poker Table Thread

[The Camel]

Once saw Tikay 3 bet preflop in Omaha without aces double suited.

[Royal Flush]

Playing poker in Vegas and the loud drunk opposite announces he needs to visit the bathroom. Gets up, walks around, finds a suitable fruit machine and urinates all over it. Audible gasps from everywhere. Think it was a Da Vinci's Diamonds.

Amazing

[Karabiner]

There used to be a guy known as "Spicy" who frequented Derby and Nottingham cardrooms fifteen or twenty years ago and he used to come with his rather pale slim girlfriend and for some reason that i am not aware of it had been deduced that Spicy's missus wasn't getting enough attention in the bedroom department.

One evening I was playing on a back table in Gala's cardroom when it used to be where the bar area is today, in the company of Spicy and a well-known Nottingham character who was banned from DTD for a few years and the aforementioned character pulled out his not unsubstantial family jewels, slapped it on the table and said "you want to get yourself one of these Spicy".

[Tal]

There used to be a guy known as "Spicy" who frequented Derby and Nottingham cardrooms fifteen or twenty years ago and he used to come with his rather pale slim girlfriend and for some reason that i am not aware of it had been deduced that Spicy's missus wasn't getting enough attention in the bedroom department.

One evening I was playing on a back table in Gala's cardroom when it used to be where the bar area is today, in the company of Spicy and a well-known Nottingham character who was banned from DTD for a few years and the aforementioned character pulled out his not unsubstantial family jewels, slapped it on the table and said "you want to get yourself one of these Spicy".

Good sizing on the flop

[atdc21]

Fight at omaha cash table, good few £££ in play , whole table went up lol

[buzzharvey22]

Tommy Dunwoodie standing up and farting directly in some young students face.

[DaveShoelace]

Someone throw a full cup of tea at a chap after he binked a set on the river.

[MintTrav]

About four years ago, one of the local poker clubs in Portsmouth decided to have a pole-dancing night in the back room that they hire out for functions. Unfortunately, hardly any punters turned up. It was also a pretty quiet night poker-wise - just three tables I think. So it was decided, rather than having the girls performing to an empty room, that the poker tables would be lifted into the back room. So we played while five or six girls waved their stuff around and took their tops off, while basically being ignored by twenty-odd people more interested in focusing on the poker. Apparently, a fair amount of the girls' money is from tips for lap-dances, which they tried to encourage by leaving the pole and dancing around the tables while the game was in progress. It wasn't a good night for them, even when they reduced the lap-dances to half-price. There wasn't much point when we were already getting a free show.

[MintTrav]

In the same club, about two years ago, I was involved in a hand where two of us (in seats seven and eight) were all-in and had been called by a player in seat three, so it was just a case of turning the cards over and dealing out the rest of the hand. The player beside me was a friend of mine and I asked what she had and peeked at her cards as a joke. As all the action was finished and the cards were about to be turned over, this didn't affect the hand, but is obviously something you are not supposed to do. Seat three took serious exception and objected loudly. Next he claimed that her hand should be dead and then that both our hands should be dead. He had had a lot of beer, but he also had a huge pile of chips. He worked himself up more and more until he flipped and grabbed a handful of his chips and fired them down the length of the table at us as hard as he could. Unfortunately, he had tons of ammunition and he carried on pelting us, maybe ten or twelve handfuls, while we tried to duck.

[Rotty]

End of day 1 of a 2 day event, player given bag for chips, pisses in it and hands it over (didn't put his chips in)  just a sealed bag of warm urine

[Ironside]

End of day 1 of a 2 day event, player given bag for chips, pisses in it and hands it over (didn't put his chips in)  just a sealed bag of warm urine

was he a sport star might have thought it was for the drug testing

[Rotty]

End of day 1 of a 2 day event, player given bag for chips, pisses in it and hands it over (didn't put his chips in)  just a sealed bag of warm urine

was he a sport star might have thought it was for the drug testing

was a bloody big sample if he did  :p

[WhitePony84]

A lot of win in this thread.

A guy once soiled himself at Sheffield Napoleons and continued playing until we told him he needed to go and clean himself up because it was starting to smell really bad. He was very drunk obviously.

[SuuPRlim]

The board is KJT9* (can't remember the order) guy bets,  is called and shakes his head the caller shows TT and the better turns over a King...

He then takes from his pocket a bag with some white powder in it, taps a little bit on the card snorts it then turns the card over to reveal a Queen.

[SuuPRlim]

I also once saw a guy pull a meat cleaver out of his pocket and said he would chop anyone's head off I'd they outdrew him this hand.

He won that pot lol