Tampa Nights

[the sicilian]

“This is the first time I’ve been to Tampa — or Florida — to play,” Morris sayed. “It’s been really good. I like the [Seminole] Hard Rock […] I enjoyed it. It was a good game today — nice and friendly. Even though I had my headphones on the whole time, I could just tell.”

Deano is so hench xx

TY... you know its the look i was going for x

[Chompy]

Must be a thrill to finally get a Hendo Mob profile?

http://pokerdb.thehendonmob.com/player.php?a=r&n=461485&_ga=1.164074943.1458616116.1405709665

[the sicilian]

Must be a thrill to finally get a Hendo Mob profile?

http://pokerdb.thehendonmob.com/player.php?a=r&n=461485&_ga=1.164074943.1458616116.1405709665

ha..knobs

[Marky147]

Haha, just caught up with this, and LOL'd several times.

Not been to Tampa for almost 20 years, and might have to make a trip back now that I won't have to queue for fk all

Enjoy the rest of the trip mate!

[the sicilian]

so entered the card room as Jeff was exiting with a min cash and he asked if i was hungry..At this point i realised i hadn't eaten for 23 hours.
Bizarrely when in America i only eat usually once a day with some coffee and fruit in the morning.. i dont know if its because the portions here are ridiculously big or what but i just dont feel hungry..

Jeff suggested Hooters... and who was i to deny my fellow man

We dined Al Fresco... in December ... gotta love Florida..

Now as you know Hooters big selling point is the waitresses wear hot pants and ridiculously tight low cut tops possibly to disguise the average heart attack food. It is puzzling in this day and age of supposed feminism etc that somewhere like Hooters still exists. you would expect some weird veggie Bird with a moustache to have created a protest group by now to bring the blatantly sexist Hooters empire down, but it seems to thrive and even caters to lots of families and couples... maybe Jeff was right and the chicken wings are really that good?.

Some of the girls are stunning with fantastic figures.. and i feel a complete perv if i even get a glimpse of heaving cleavage... i feel a little embarrassed as they prob think just another middle aged dude eying shit his never getting..but fuck it i still have a cheeky gawp.. unfortunately our waitress did not fall into the above category. The young girl must have been being punished for some terrible crime as some bastard had made her squeeze her very wide bottom into the hot pants of one of the super models.. she sighed like she was done with life too.. i took pity on her and gave her a 20% tip..poor kid.

Jeff and i parted company..it was still early..what was one to do..go back to the hotel?.. the Celtics game was on TV..

oops there seems to be a casino between me and the hotel..

[nirvana]

so entered the card room as Jeff was exiting with a min cash and he asked if i was hungry..At this point i realised i hadn't eaten for 23 hours.
Bizarrely when in America i only eat usually once a day with some coffee and fruit in the morning.. i dont know if its because the portions here are ridiculously big or what but i just dont feel hungry..

Jeff suggested Hooters... and who was i to deny my fellow man

We dined Al Fresco... in December ... gotta love Florida..

Now as you know Hooters big selling point is the waitresses wear hot pants and ridiculously tight low cut tops possibly to disguise the average heart attack food. It is puzzling in this day and age of supposed feminism etc that somewhere like Hooters still exists. you would expect some weird veggie Bird with a moustache to have created a protest group by now to bring the blatantly sexist Hooters empire down, but it seems to thrive and even caters to lots of families and couples... maybe Jeff was right and the chicken wings are really that good?.

Some of the girls are stunning with fantastic figures.. and i feel a complete perv if i even get a glimpse of heaving cleavage... i feel a little embarrassed as they prob think just another middle aged dude eying shit his never getting..but fuck it i still have a cheeky gawp.. unfortunately our waitress did not fall into the above category. The young girl must have been being punished for some terrible crime as some bastard had made her squeeze her very wide bottom into the hot pants of one of the super models.. she sighed like she was done with life too.. i took pity on her and gave her a 20% tip..poor kid.

Jeff and i parted company..it was still early..what was one to do..go back to the hotel?.. the Celtics game was on TV..

oops there seems to be a casino between me and the hotel..

20% is abso standard everywhere you tight bast - she'll get that from everybody just for showing up with some food at some point. 30% and you don't even have to feel like a perv

[the sicilian]

OK... i had a pocket full of cash and a thirst in my heart for crushing the living soul of a cute Cuban Blackjack dealer...

I settled for Dave.. an old world weary guy with a friendly smile and more opinions than a black cab driver. He was good to me and we were soon $1200 up.

About a year ago i decided on a very simple 5 bet progressive strategy with a 50 bet roll . Its boring and grindy and relies on playing lots of hands by the book, preferably heads up. I prefer playing alone for that reason and for the reason that most people havent the first clue about how to play blackjack or how to bet.

basic pointers people... ffs learn the basics of play ..will take you 10 minutes will save you money and will stop the death stares from your table mates.

2. betting exactly the same amount is akin to being shot in the stomach.. it will result in a slow painful death. The only thing your going to get is the gratitude of the pit boss and a cheeky wink as you slink from your seat penniless.

the above is not a guarantee but has served me well and relies on you sticking at it even when the dealer is killing you.. 50 bets deep usually allows you to ride the storm and make the most of the streaks which will come.

OK so things are going well... i get a table mate.. a mean looking black dude who has multiple facial tattoos... i dont know about you but when i come across a guy who has tattoos on his face there are two unshakable facts..

1. he is fucking stupid
2. i do not want to upset him

He makes 4 bets last 20 minutes despite hitting hard 18 twice with a dealer up card of 6... he costs me several hundred and i reach across and drive his face into the hardwood whilst screaming obscenities .. OK that was just my in my head..The dealer and i both sigh with relief when he finally gets up with a puzzled look on his face at how he lost all his money.

Dave the dealer shakes his head and voices my thoughts...

Daves break comes and Brian the closer comes in to pitch.. 10 minutes in and Brian is genuinely embarrassed as he rapes me for $1400... but we have the bank roll to ride it out .. Dave comes back and helps me out back to even.
The table has regular visitors..they come they go.. I'm happy with 1 or 2 other punters as long as they can play..but inevitably we have a full table and the play is sketchy to say the least..I'm down 25 bets and i take a walk..the table is not for me.

I find a table at the other end of the casino with one punter and a scantily clad blonde  Milf dealer with large whammers.. win win then.
The other guy can play a bit and we are doing OK..+ 10 bets..he wisely gets up with profit..and its just me and blondie..just the way i like it..back and forth we go.. pit boss announces last shoe on the table..its nearly 3am..the grind has been 7 hours... with a cheeky wink she cuts the shoe and we go.. she has a kind face and and likes to bust.. .. 10 minutes later we book a 1K win and out the door hoping not to be gunned down as we cross the car park

[the sicilian]

so entered the card room as Jeff was exiting with a min cash and he asked if i was hungry..At this point i realised i hadn't eaten for 23 hours.
Bizarrely when in America i only eat usually once a day with some coffee and fruit in the morning.. i dont know if its because the portions here are ridiculously big or what but i just dont feel hungry..

Jeff suggested Hooters... and who was i to deny my fellow man

We dined Al Fresco... in December ... gotta love Florida..

Now as you know Hooters big selling point is the waitresses wear hot pants and ridiculously tight low cut tops possibly to disguise the average heart attack food. It is puzzling in this day and age of supposed feminism etc that somewhere like Hooters still exists. you would expect some weird veggie Bird with a moustache to have created a protest group by now to bring the blatantly sexist Hooters empire down, but it seems to thrive and even caters to lots of families and couples... maybe Jeff was right and the chicken wings are really that good?.

Some of the girls are stunning with fantastic figures.. and i feel a complete perv if i even get a glimpse of heaving cleavage... i feel a little embarrassed as they prob think just another middle aged dude eying shit his never getting..but fuck it i still have a cheeky gawp.. unfortunately our waitress did not fall into the above category. The young girl must have been being punished for some terrible crime as some bastard had made her squeeze her very wide bottom into the hot pants of one of the super models.. she sighed like she was done with life too.. i took pity on her and gave her a 20% tip..poor kid.

Jeff and i parted company..it was still early..what was one to do..go back to the hotel?.. the Celtics game was on TV..

oops there seems to be a casino between me and the hotel..

20% is abso standard everywhere you tight bast - she'll get that from everybody just for showing up with some food at some point. 30% and you don't even have to feel like a perv

Spoken like the gent you are

[Chompy]

Defo stick with blackjack, it's a game that can be beaten.

[the sicilian]

I'm better at it than horse racing

[david3103]

OK. I call on the 'this guy cost me $100's.

I know it's annoying when some fool who doesn't like money stands on 16 v 10, or hits on 15 v 6 but the truth is that those actions are as likely to win us money as to lose it.
Folks forget the times that the fools decisions work out well for them.

Enjoy your trip, and Congratulations on the score.

[the sicilian]

OK. I call on the 'this guy cost me $100's.

I know it's annoying when some fool who doesn't like money stands on 16 v 10, or hits on 15 v 6 but the truth is that those actions are as likely to win us money as to lose it.
Folks forget the times that the fools decisions work out well for them.

Enjoy your trip, and Congratulations on the score.

TY TY.. I think in this case it is true when just me and the other guy he hits 18 taking the dealers bust card when i have a big bet stood..but yes sometimes bad play works for you..i just dont llike that variable
when im playing

[the sicilian]

so entered the card room as Jeff was exiting with a min cash and he asked if i was hungry..At this point i realised i hadn't eaten for 23 hours.
Bizarrely when in America i only eat usually once a day with some coffee and fruit in the morning.. i dont know if its because the portions here are ridiculously big or what but i just dont feel hungry..

Jeff suggested Hooters... and who was i to deny my fellow man

We dined Al Fresco... in December ... gotta love Florida..

Now as you know Hooters big selling point is the waitresses wear hot pants and ridiculously tight low cut tops possibly to disguise the average heart attack food. It is puzzling in this day and age of supposed feminism etc that somewhere like Hooters still exists. you would expect some weird veggie Bird with a moustache to have created a protest group by now to bring the blatantly sexist Hooters empire down, but it seems to thrive and even caters to lots of families and couples... maybe Jeff was right and the chicken wings are really that good?.

Some of the girls are stunning with fantastic figures.. and i feel a complete perv if i even get a glimpse of heaving cleavage... i feel a little embarrassed as they prob think just another middle aged dude eying shit his never getting..but fuck it i still have a cheeky gawp.. unfortunately our waitress did not fall into the above category. The young girl must have been being punished for some terrible crime as some bastard had made her squeeze her very wide bottom into the hot pants of one of the super models.. she sighed like she was done with life too.. i took pity on her and gave her a 20% tip..poor kid.

Jeff and i parted company..it was still early..what was one to do..go back to the hotel?.. the Celtics game was on TV..

oops there seems to be a casino between me and the hotel..

20% is abso standard everywhere you tight bast - she'll get that from everybody just for showing up with some food at some point. 30% and you don't even have to feel like a perv

Stop being Balla..you know 12-18% is the thumb rule

[the sicilian]

Second rest day rolls round and a little more xmas shopping mainly for the kids. As standard teenage girls my two kids are into various bands... as a standard dad ive never heard of any of them... Twenty One pilots..Black veil Brides.. ffs what happened to normal band names like NWA & Prodigy.

Anyway there is a massive chain of shops in America called 'Hot Topic'.. note the name well parents.. they specialise in band merchandise etc.. we do not have them here but their web site is pretty cool and they ship overseas. Anyway i venture in and look completly in place as both punters and staff tend to sport blue hair and facial piercings

Anyway find some t shirts and a cool 'Fall out Boy ' hoodie for the youngest.... Have another wander round Calvin Klein and get asked by someone if I have this shirt in large... i point to the Ralph Lauren shirt im wearing and inform them politely that i dont actually work there.

Room service and NBA on tv completes an uneventful day.

[the sicilian]

Wake up Thursday for day 1 of the $1650 Main with a streaming nose and a heavy head..sigh think the brutal air con in the hard rock may have got me. How can i have caught a cold..its 85 degrees outside my window.

Anyway.. turn up... table is standard rofflers with one twenty something genius who likes to bluff. The amount of donk leading I have witnessed on this trip is incredible..one old guy donk leads into 3 others including the OR with no hand.. he fires 3 barrels before being forced to turn over Queen high..incred.

Said Genius is trying his best to give away chips to old men with the nuts... i get in a hand with him and let him bluff flop and turn..just smoothing him... he catches a gutter on the river for a deece pot.. sigh

I trundle on... level six i get two limps look at Queens and make a pretty sizeable raise.. no one goes anywhere and i flop top set on a two spade board... old roffler insta shoves 100bb into me...sigh..call.. he turns over A3 spades..insta service and no redraw paired board and that's it..

I have mixed emotions..I'm not too fussed at getting knocked out i didn't fancy extending but on the other hand the standard of the play on display is pretty woeful and maybe actually a real shot at a 150K payday.. hey ho theres still the blackjack pit to take my frustration out on..

I play two deece sessions sandwiched by a trip back to the hotel to watch the rams game..who i have a oner on.. the bet is good after 3 quarters and I'm back at the tables by 10pm..

Now I know its my last night Ive upped the min bet from $25 to $50..this means my bets will range between $25 and $250 on the progression... so 50 bet roll at this level requires 2.5 K on the table.

I have the table to myself but am shortly joined by an old Chinese lady who it seems when she wants the dealer to bust shouts something akin to 'MONKEY ! ' ... It soon becomes apparent that the ' MONKEY ' word is for a ten... it seems to be working so the jape seeking soul I am decide to join in and me and Mrs Wong are soon shouting 'MONKEY ! ' loudly and in unison..it is a very successful ploy as the dealer busts regularly and the old girl is now high fiving me with huge vigor and a broad smile of blackened teeth... pretty sure Ive pulled.

The dealer has a FML expression as he gets 'MONKEY !! ' nearly every hand... and me almost crying with laughter.. now the old girls mum turns up and decided to just spectate..she also is a  'MONKEY ! ' shouter and the poor dealer has 3 of us screaming at him.. its fucking hilarious.

Monkey Magic is good and I have a count up ..over the 2 sessions we are + 6K.. i cash out hi five Mrs Wong and I'm on the road. I drive 9 miles at 3AM the nearest IHOP ( international House of Pancakes ) which i discovered on a trip in the summer.. they do awesome food that is terrible for you..french toast double dipped with whipped creame and strawberries and chicken and waffles Oi! fucking Oi!...

So final day i meet up with Jeff and his wife and go to clearwater beach ( see below ) which is supposed to be one of the top ten beaches in the world.. its beautiful but its windy and only 75 degrees..think i may put a complaint in..

After lunch we do our farewells.. its been a great trip not just because of the wins etc but new experiences and new places.. i have a feeling i will be back.

Last drive to the Airport and a comfy flight to blighty...

One last thing.. remember what i said about pre paid tolls ?... drove over 400 miles..took trips all over Tampa..went to Orlando etc.. didn't go through one toll..not one... and they wanted 10 dollars a day !... shame on you

Hope you enjoyed the read heres to the next trip