Give me a break

[Pokerpops]

Quick quiz, can you give me the name of Sticky Up Hair Bloke?

If you get it, you've cheated, so I'll tell you.


Munyaradzi Thomas Kingsley Chinyanganya

He was good fun on Richard Osman’s House of Games. Especially in the round where the answer is spelled using only letters from the players name 

[RED-DOG]

Come on then, who picked this semi-final line up?

[Marky147]

Come on then, who picked this semi-final line up?

Not if you'd got me to pick at the quarter-final stage

Turn up for the books, but should make for a good weekend of Snooker.

[Pokerpops]

Come on then, who picked this semi-final line up?

Higgins and the Russian Mafia?

[RED-DOG]

I lolled.

[RED-DOG]

I haven't seen very much of Zhang Anda, (The Chinese Panda) but he seems like a prodigious talent.

[Karabiner]

What's the over/under on "boat players" today?

I'd be tempted to have a punt on over three

[RED-DOG]

Lol. I think we've has two already. It could almost be a drinking game.

[RED-DOG]

Been at least 10 boat players now Ralph.

[RED-DOG]

Sometimes a sporting event comes along that is so dramatic that there is no point in trying to describe it to someone who hasn't seen it, and, obviously, no point in trying to describe it to someone who has seen it.
I saw such an event last night, but for the reasons already alluded to, I won't try to describe it.

I do however feel compelled to say something about it, so I will list the basic facts below.

I was flicking through the sport's channels looking for the Arsenal v Real Madrid match when I accidentally stumbled upon a first round world championship qualifying match between a 20 year old Ukrainian kid called Anton Kazakov and Jimmy White.

I've always loved watching Jimmy. So talented, so flawed, so exciting, so frustrating, so lovable. He has a glittering array of titles under his belt but still he will forever be thought of as the nearly man.  

So near... but so far.

Despite being a 6 times runner-up, Jimmy never won the world championship, and now he never will. Everyone knows that.... except him.

When I tuned in last night I was shocked by his appearance. He looked ancient and frail, like someone who is seriously ill. (I hope to God he isn't.)

The match was in its second day. He was 3-7 down in a best of 19 and, according to the commentary, had been playing terribly, it looked like the result was a forgone conclusion. An obviously fatigued and despondent 62 year old man v a fit and talented youngster 42 years his junior. I almost couldn't watch.

In the 11th frame Jimmy potted a good opening red and then proceeded to turn that into a 126 total clearance. As the balls went in you could see the years falling away, by the time he potted the final black we were seeing Jimmy circa 1984.

And so the fightback started, but it wasn't easy, every frame was a nail-biter, 4-7 became 5-7 and then 6-7, I got off the settee and sat on the floor in front of the telly.

Another knife-edge frame and 6-7 became 7-7, I couldn't sit still and alternated between sitting on the settee and sitting on the floor about once a minute.

Another two excruciating frames saw the score go 8-7 and then 9-7, I tried unsuccessfully to hide a small hole that I had chewed in the curtain.

Jimmy was one frame from completing an astounding comeback when the wheels came off. He couldn't pot a ball and he couldn't play a decent safety shot, 9-7 became 9-8 and then, at 1:05am this morning, 9-9.
I went to the loo, made a cup of very strong tea, and took a Valium.  

Predictably it was a long, scrappy, indescribably tense final frame. I spent most of it in the fetal position with a cushion over my head.

Jimmy makes a good 40ish break and, with one red remaining, has the choice of an easy green followed by a safety shot, which would leave his opponent needing all the balls to win, or a difficult long pink which would leave his opponent needing a snooker.

Jimmy walks around the table trying to make the decision. I hear a strange ting ting sound and realise that I am clenching my teeth so hard that small shards of enamel are pinging off the telly.

Jimmy takes on the pink and pots it. Hooray! Barring snookers he has done it. I wait 5 or 10 minutes for my heart to start beating again and say out loud, "Well done Jim, there's life in the old dog yet."

It's a quarter to two in the morning. I don't want Mrs Red to give me a bollocking when she gets up so I start to tidy the mess I've made when flinging myself and other things around the room.

With my back to the telly I hear the commentator say, "This is a good snooker, Jimmy has to be careful he doesn't leave a free ball...

Jimmy misses the snooker several times and eventually DOES leave a free ball. His opponent is now only 19 points behind with one red remaining, all the balls are in the open, the red is over the pocket.

The camera pans to Jimmy's face. Time has caught up with him again. His mouth a tight line formed by bloodless lips, his skin is a gaunt mask of parchment stretched so tightly that you can plainly see the skull beneath.

He, and only he, (And perhaps I) had dared to dream…

Jimmy's opponent pots the easy red and somehow, incredibly, inexplicably, lands in the only conceivable spot on the table where he can't pot a ball. He plays safe, but Jimmy pots the yellow and clears to the pink to win the match.

I fling myself and some other stuff around the room again. I don't care if Mrs Red does tear me a new asshole.

[booder]

What a terrific write up. Thank you.

[Knottikay]

I stayed up watching this too. Where/what channel did you find commentary on it? I was just watching it on a small window on my BET 365 account.

Great win......however, that was only the 1st qualifying round out of 4. So, a long way to go until he can lose in the opening match at the finals.

[StuartHopkin]

Great piece of writing Mr Red

[RED-DOG]

I stayed up watching this too. Where/what channel did you find commentary on it? I was just watching it on a small window on my BET 365 account.

Great win......however, that was only the 1st qualifying round out of 4. So, a long way to go until he can lose in the opening match at the finals.

I'm not even sure which channel I caught it on Knotty. I was just flicking through and there it was.

[celtic]

I stayed up watching this too. Where/what channel did you find commentary on it? I was just watching it on a small window on my BET 365 account.

Great win......however, that was only the 1st qualifying round out of 4. So, a long way to go until he can lose in the opening match at the finals.

The qualifiers are onTNT Sport.

Nice write up Tom. Luckily I only watched the last few balls of the match. Sad to see my one time sporting hero looking terrible. I believe it’s through choice rather than any kind of illness, based on he’s looked like that for a while now.