blonde poker forum

Kev & Cia are going head to head again tonight ... this time it's personal !!


Cia is going to cook spag bol (peasant food imo) ... whats to cook ? you just buy mince and a ragu sauce ffs then boil white worms !!

I am going to do a fry up, might even do a couple of waffles as it's a tea time fry up rather than a brekkie one.


Pics and poll will be added later.

who would have thought any one could mangle steak n chips

but you succeeded..........

Can be tricky getting it right, and the white worms 'al dente'. Am amazed at how many people have almost zero cooking skills, how do they feed themselves? Was round at a mates for a dinner party, you could tell straight away from the look on his face that he had never cooked spag bog in his life. Came up to me after 'starter' and whispered 'how do I know when the spaghetti is ready, it's been in 15 minutes already?' Told him 'I just throw it at the wall, if it sticks, it's ready'.


Clannng! fml. *one string of spaghetti will do?

rotflmfao

Before I decide who im supporting, which one of you is Jamie Oliver and which one of you is the Dirty Hun Bastard? ;hide;

going on age i'd have to be oliver

ready steady cook...........

got digi camera as well this week

if you lose this 1 kev you gotta do a forfeit... hahahahahaha

+1 lolol

this is looking pukkaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Meh ... bet it's a Tesco value happy meal !!

FYP Kev     ;)

when are you eating kev?

Let battle commence

(http://i369.photobucket.com/albums/oo133/cia260895/094.jpg)

omg this is gonna be the greatest if kev gets pwned again, especially in his own backyard.......................THE FRY UP!!!!!!!!!

gotta say brave man though kev, putting your cooking rep on the line like this, gl



GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOOGOGOGOGOGOGO CIA!!!!!!!!

this is the stuff dreams r made of!

any chance of a tv show? i love watching food programmes but this could b an epic!

hope you have more ingredients than that

a masterpiece in the making

(http://i369.photobucket.com/albums/oo133/cia260895/096.jpg)

CIA gets points for the updates imo

WTF at using 4 pans think about the dishes,2 would've been suffice

+1

1 to brown onions and mushrooms
1to mix and cook the sauce
1to brown the mince
1 to cook spaghetti

dishwasher ftw

Only problem is you've both chosen ridic easy things to make. A fry up is harder to do good and please everyone whereas spag bol is ridic easy.

looks like you've put the mushrooms in a bit early too cia.

+1

Where are the fresh herbs and the red wine ffs?!?!?!

Brown off the mince chuck in onions and mushroom use sauce outta jar and chuck that in,save time innit  ;)

why the mushrooms in a spag bol ???

The method in the madness

pans not to big so browning mince and mushrooms and onions seperately was easier,

sauce was made from chopped tomatoes mashed and mixed with various herbs and put onto hob to simmer,

strained juice from mince and added mushrooms and onions,heated altogether for a few mins then added sauce to simmer for 15 mins

boiled slightly salted water and added spaghetti

garlic bread put in pre heated oven

...................................................................................



it's dinner time.....

dunno prob personal thing


yes there was more but I aint got a film crew around me

dont do red wine

 sy no fresh herbs just what was left in cupboard   >:(

Come on Cia!

All Kev has to do now is not serve mushrooms with his fry and we have a winnar.

all done and dusted ill let kev catch up b4 the final results are put up

fck that just post the pics

1/20 kev
6/1 cia

Kevs fallen asleep, CIA wins by default

agree with langy kev has this in bag aslong as he doesnt add mushrooms

fkin delish ... I only took pics with the moby ... just uploading now.

oven chips?

+2, where's the rest of it? Hope spacefrog doesn't have any Italian relatives, or you're in for the mama of all slatings...

"The traditional recipe, registered in 1982 by the Bolognese delegation of Accademia Italiana della Cucina, confines the ingredients to beef, pancetta, onions, carrots, celery, tomato paste, meat broth, red wine, and (optionally) milk or cream."

fk me was gonna put carrots in it at 1st then thought not

Norrrrrrrrrrrrrr flash on moby too bright ... eggs haven't come out properly.


posting pics now

such a tease

Right, first off, the eggs are flipped which makes them appear white all over on camera, when infact they are beautifully runny and dippable (a must for any fry up)

The fried bread was done in the bacon juices, and was a stiffy on a plate !!

oh dear

different attempts at snapping it

Voila

(http://i369.photobucket.com/albums/oo133/cia260895/097.jpg)

(http://i369.photobucket.com/albums/oo133/cia260895/098.jpg)

(http://i369.photobucket.com/albums/oo133/cia260895/099.jpg)

lolol. ul kev. 2-0 to cia

both guys have a huge fails

Is the camera to blame for the horrible looking toast as well

FML, its the camera phone LOL


that fairy is using square plates and being an uber faggot with his presentation.

A fry up is a fry up ffs it aint meant to look pretty !!

Kev, you need bigger plates

It aint toast its a fried slice you heathen

probs the longest thread in the history of the internetz is elsewhere on this forum dedicated to the art of the fry up. did you not think to check that to find out what might be considered good before you produced that abomination?

Where's the poll?

+ some cook books

only kev can add it as its his thread

or another mod

still looks shite though

I have an exhibit in said thread, which received rave reviews. ;)

No toast with a fry up GTFO CIA WINS EASY

I didnt take photo's of the accompaniments, such as bread & butter, mug of steaming hot strong tea etc etc ...

By bread do you mean toasted bread

and i missed out

 the string quartet of italians playing the godfather music whilst i ate

and the waiters were loading the dish washer

obv, (vote for me )

sorry, but Kev gets my vote this week!

i am refuseing to vote till you add a neither option

The only reason your getting my vote is coz i thought the presentation of cia's was shit otherwise he would've got mine

Obv I could do much better than you both but i don't have a camera  ;whistle;

I wanna take one of u two useless buggers on

These threads are com.

Disasterchef IMO

(http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=37373.0;attach=23098;image)

prob vote for the spag bol, with a couple of reservations

1. spag bol should be served on a round plate.

2. there is too much spaghetti.

I agree, dont know why i bothered starting it ;)

Thats a better pic.

I must say I really hate the new ketchup bottles, never goes where it should

instafail for kev now he's tried to get away with posting a pic of a previous fryup cos tonight's was so bad

Merely demonstrating how a pic taken on a camera phone is no match for one taken on a proper camera ;)

This, but I so wanted to vote for Kev until I saw it.  ;dingdell;

ffs kev, talk about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory!!!!

It's the camera on the moby mate ... robbed again ... no justice in the world :(

Kev -
Sausages are burnt on the outside and raw in the middle.
Tried to hide burnt potato waffle.  You honestly think you could hide it under the other and we'd miss that fact?!  Since then, you have posted new pics with no waffles at all and undercooked hash browns.  Shocking.  Those are my main complaints.  Could bore you with many more, but no need.

CIA -
Not enough bolognese on your spaghetti and garlic bread looks like that horrible frozen kind, but at least you didn't burn the cageebees out of it.

CIA wins by a landslide.  

HTF do you know they are raw in the middle, they were not, and undercooked bangers are a pet hate of mine.

brutal!

But fair

lol at pm from

Colchester Kev




bastard !!


I am getting slaughtered again lololololololol

Errrm, not wanting to make matters worse, but that pic was taken on my camera phone...

Tonights fry up was just as good as the above pic (though taken on Kev's rubbish phone), though it was waaaaaay too much for me, even Kev struggled to even near finish it  ;gobsmacked;

Anyway, non- cook Tuesdays are a winner for me, long may they continue!

Well it is tempting to say neither due to the mushrooms. I then saw Kev's effort and have to vote for CIA to register my dissapointment with Kev's effort, lol at waffles with a fry up we aren't in America, Kev.

Next week you should both cook the same meals, then we can compare apples with apples or even pie with pie.

in my defence laxie

yes to much spaghetti but it was all that was in the packet and am not 1 for keeping a few strands

obv doing dinner for 1 have to only use 1/2 of bolognase

 remainder gets sealed frozen

oh and i aint got any round plates even the smaller plates are square

TBH the waffles were overkill .... I did say earlier I was going to add waffles as it was a tea time fry up rather than a morning one.


Anyway, I would like to apologise to you and bolt and the others that thought i would walk it this week ... I feel like I have let you boys down :( ... but I have to add that it looked a million times better in real life than it did in the pics.

Not enough sauce with the Bolognese.

Fry up has hashbrowns and mushrooms and mug of tea, therefore winner imo

:)up Kev!

this HAS to happen obv

roast dinner i reckon, really put 'em to the test!

FYP

Come Dine with Blondes new program to rival 2 Months 2 Mirrion IMO!

ah yes another fair point 400g tin of tom's just isnt enough for 500g of mince

not a prayer

I am quite happy to go with chicken breasts done however we choose, selection of veg and choice of potato.

If fanny fkin craddock accepts the challenge, it's on for next tuesday !!

Just a warning for CIA - in future present correct proportions for these cooking exercises or I will spite vote for Kev!  

Cook half the packet and seal the remainder uncooked for the next time.  Otherwise, only use the correct amount for your pictures.  You have been warned.  No excuses next time.  

but i'm 2-0 up

 why?

oh just remebered am in hospital next tuesday

lol this could turn out to be the ultimate bok statement, voting hasnt closed yet!!!!!!!!

Hit & Run ?


Maybe people should spite vote for me then, so you would have to play next week for a decider :D

Im with Cia on this one

Cia - Too much spag, take some off the plate and we are jammin, or make the plate bigger and ad more Bol....the Garlic Bread has to be the frozen kind from Asda (but too burn in this case)

Kev - beans look far to runny, they should be fried instead! Eggs have no sign of life, and why thre hell would you put waffles on a fry up, they should be in a dessert plate with Maple syrup for afters FFS............ and last but not least Toast in Bacon Juice, WTF Bring on the Death!!

i think for the next challenge we should give them 6 ingrediants and they have to make the meal from that

no need you'll only rig the vote again  ;)

LOL to have your stomach pumped ?

Or are you secretly going to "Presentation tips for serving meals, a display by Quentin phillabottom" ?

Kev WTF are all the others doing telling us when and frigging what we cook m8?

no going to get a ganglion removed from my hand

rehab suggest gesticulating hand movement in yr direction 10 times  a day

lolz, you've fallen for kev's trick. the photo with the tea in it is of another fry up from months ago on the fry up thread, not tonight's at all

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

 ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend;

  ;)

this is a genius idea. Can we all join in though please?

dont see why not but dont expect me to be in a kitchen while i still have females in my life

FMP

norrrrrrrrrrr boooo!!!

Ahaha

Is some gaufres on his breakfast, he do that for us Belgium livers. He make it black and hide it. Spacefrog can see this thing.


Lol at the Spag bollo. Is not real, just a figment of this guy imagination. I can say is red, nothing else is good.



Stick to rosbif guys.

I might join in with this next week. We had a lovely curry tonight which I should have taken some pics of.

And for who this week's winner is... well, I don't think I even have to say. It's obvious. A fry up, dear me.

CIA a massive winner here

Sorry Kev, yours looks most unappealing. Lets be charitable and say next time use the blonde camera please, and presentation man!!

Who is going to choose the 6 ingredients for next week then?

cia just gets it. Sunday roasts next to impress spacefrog

To be fair Sunday roasts are a bit crap when you are cooking for 1.

More than happy to volunteer as a diner/judge :)

In fairness the traditional sauce they serve in Bologna has much less tomato than what we generally use over here.

But have to agree that there's no excuse for not making your own garlic bread.

I will seeing as i wont be able to participate

And I assume there will be standard Ready, Steady, Cook rules?

i.e. you can also use any standard pantry ingredients as well?

:)

has to be a roast

nah - the idea is you get six ingredients and see who comes up with the best dish from them.

to make it intresting i think cia should pick 3 ingrediants and someone else pick 3

then you get a fun assorment and not 6 ingrdiants that someone might think would go together

Alright then i pick chicken, roast potatoes, yorkshire puddings, peas, carrots and stuffing ;D

Bolt wins, perfect.

Consider a bit of pork for variety instead of chicken though.

Yorkshire puddings with chicken?

Are you some sort of weirdo?

chicken good with yorkshires isn't it? i love it.

roast beef would be the ideal meat though

Nothing wrong with chicken and yorkshires! With a lovely bit of gravy.

sod that - I ain't cooking a roast for one.

I'll cook a good old roast if there is a challenger?

roasts are the easiest meals in the world to make but so many different varieties.

kev and cia, ramsey and oliver? more like abbot and costello if you ask me  ;D

not looking good kev  ;D

Standard bullshit vote fixing mate .... I should be 2-0 up, there is NO justice !!

the proof is in the pudding dinner

fry up should look like this

(http://i528.photobucket.com/albums/dd322/sovietsong1983/2008_1130cookedsausages0004.jpg)

Did you mug the ducks for that bread ?

lol i used to respect your opinion on fry ups, a man of your size obviously has had plenty however since seeing your effort you have lost all credability. 

yorkshires go with everything, no need to restrict them to the beef

+1

Those bangers look sensational! I'm so hungry now.

Nice effort Mr Song, wrong thread though.

mr song you ruined your fry up with mushrooms

I just can't comprehend how anyone can physically manage to eat that much in one go

I was just thinking its a shame there werent a few more rashers and a pile of bread and butter to make butties inbetween mouthfulls...

There is bread just out of shot!! Haha!

Looks sensational Soviet. More beans, bacon and fried bread wouldn'ty go amiss though

worthy as an avatar

I don't get fried bread. what's nice about it? much better to have toast or just b&b surely

I agree

http://tinyurl.com/yjvk7dd

Fried bread, done well, is lovely. Hugely unhealthy, completely unacceptable, but essential

Of course ... The crust of a sliced loaf makes the best fried slice.

tiger uncut loaf is the nutz as fried bread

 ::) ::)

Having just read this thread I now fully understand why Kev has not posted the pics of my butcher's thumb with sautee potatoes  ::)

Having seen said pics, I was going to save you the slaughtering ... but if you insist ... stand by :D

Awful imo ... just awful, looks like crap.

WTF is Butchers thumb anyway ... looks more like Butchers bowel movement to me :D

wtf?

kev, you really should've gone up against ralph in the cooking comp. either of your dishes would've destroyed whatever the hell it is in those pics

nice cushions. very retro

And they look better to eat.

My dear departed old mum made those cushions and i haven't the heart to hide them away somewhere

Ralph, do you put your plate on a tray? Some sort of table?

The picture is unclear, and it is bothering me. Thanks

The "butcher's thumb" is the end or last bit of the rump.

Why no veg?

Yes the plate is on a tray and then I put it on a pile of books on my coffee table to take the pics with my shitty phone.

The middle pic is half way through the steak and shows how perfectly cooked it is if one like medium/rare steaks although I must confess that the picture quality leaves a lot to be desired unlike the cooking ;)

Probably because I was playing two tourneys online whilst cooking but also because I quite like plain old steak and sautee potatoes with a little reduced wine sauce drizzled over it.

I sometimes serve a green salad on the side with this and I often make gratin dauphinois instead of sautees.

Dunno why but that steak looks odd. Almost seems burnt and rubbery on the outside whilst being not cooked at all on the inside(something i approve of :))?

Also: buy some new plates

ralph wins the comp

no food of the devil and no veg

landslide victory

Bollocks to what the pics look like, Ralph's cooking is probably the best I've tasted, and I have, (albeit on rare occasions) eaten at some fancy shmancy places.

that steak looks gorgeous!

Philistine, the plate is Royal Doulton !

Looks spot on to me. Maybe a handful of watercress to go with it but i wouldn't turn it down if served like that, in fact i'd pay good money for it.

+1. Hungry now!

i can honestly say that i have never had a plate of food where i have though 'you know, all that is missing a handful of watercress'

lol

I made a lovely sausage casserole tonight and forgot to take a pic. Having leftovers tomorrow so will post a pic then for everyone to slaughter.

Maybe not watercress exactly but i'm sure you've yearned for another texture with a slight peppery note?

I think a handfull of watercress would be lovely with that lump of steak :)up

thissureis mine:

(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3631/3282423810_25efdb3613.jpg)

wtf is going on with that potato? have the contents been mashed and piped back in?

meat looks fuckin lush!

WD on the meat...looks nice. No sauce and mushrooms means you can't win though....Oh and peas and carrots from a tin doesn't help. (I'll forgive you if they were frozen)

Bolt would never have cream soda when he could have stella

boly steak looks nice but food of devil and veg means you lose
when will people learn

where exactly do you buy your asian market scweppes cream soda ?

lol even last nights dinner beats yr effort

(http://i369.photobucket.com/albums/oo133/cia260895/004.jpg)

Is for a 7-14 year child? Is ok for this purpose. Is always you cook this good meat until it burn? Why rosbif, why? You make a good piece of meat and you place it with frozen legumes. I say nothing about to have this thing with a canette of chemicals with added gaz.

Is a waste.

This make Spacefrog sad for you. I hope you make a rosbif joke on me because you no really eat this shit.

lol believe me that is 3 michelin stars compared for what i have lined up for the next 2 weeks

We having a night off tonight Terrence ?

http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?topic=42645.0

well youve had the last 2 tuesdays doing not a lot

Good luck with that mate ... good job its a night off, the sight of your legs has put me right off my grub !

no worries the sight of your food makes nil by mouth easy

I'm making a curry tonight. I might update the thread with pics of the process along the way :)

Yayyyyyyyy please do ... I am going shopping in a min ... going to pick up some ingredients for tonights dish ... anyone else fancy taking part in the cook off tonight ... blokes only obv.

then when are you and cf taking part?

Ok. The game is on!

Step 1: clean the kitchen

sigh

if its a curry, then i am in.

chicken dhansak coming up...

I made dhansak last night but decided to experiment and switched the pineapple for mango. bloody lush it was, I impressed myself

let the games begin....

this is all the ingredients (apart from a little salt)

so what we have

lentils
red and green chilli
paprika
cumin
cardamon seeds
cloves
turmeric
coriander
cayenne pepper
basic curry sauce base (i make this and keep it in the freezer - basically just some spices, onion, tomato puree and water, all reduced down and then blended).
chicken breasts


so basically i will boil the lentils, and then remove, brown and seal the chicken, fry off the chillis, add some of the curry paste, add the other spices, and the put the lentils and water back in along with the chicken, and then leave to simmer and thicken for about an hour.

will be served with nan breads, unfortunately not home made....

no mango or pineapple in sight  ;whistle;

Looking good :)

Gonna go buy all my stuff in a sec

no ginger or garlic laz? or are they in the base?

garlic and ginger in the base. the base is amazing, was shown to me by an indian friend. it is the basis for just about  any kind of curry you can think of.

nearly ready...if i was using lamb i  would probably add some more liquid and let it cook for hours, making the meat really really tender. not much point with chicken.

thought it might be. the colour's looking very good there

what's in your base? presumably fairly similar to what I use.  off the top of my head onion, tomato, oil, garlic, ginger, salt, chilli, cumin, paprika, coriander, turmeric. think that's about it cooked for at least a couple of hours

Curry, Spag Bolo, Steak Frites.


Were is this rosbif cuisine? I not want to see you make a mess of other country cuisine.

what you talking about willis those are 3 famous british dishes

Ok. Just been and bought all my stuff. Will take a pic in a sec when I get it all laid out.

Stupid question: how do I upload an image to the forum?

either upload to a pic hosting site then you the [ img ] tag
or click on additional options and use the add pic option

ok, its all finished (and eaten).

disappointed, that i could only get a picture of the finished dish with my phone.

it did taste sensational though...

where is the rest of the food or did you take it after you had eaten?

what else are you looking for ?

The other eleven chicken breasts...

I am hoping that bowl is absoutley massive and therefore it is deceptive. If not why can I only see a starter.

fork gives size away


ffs no rice and my 5 yr old nephew would be able to eat more than that

Ok. Here is my ingredients. As you'll be able to tell I'm making quite a large portion here:

onions/peppers
garlic
ginger
lemon
chilis
coriander
tomatoes
chicken
various ground spices (coriander, cumin, chili)
bay leaves
cloves

And no doubt there'll be some balsamic vinegar and worchester sauce in there too :)

it is a fairly large sized bowl.

i dont serve rice with some curries, especially dhansak, since it is lentil based, it has enough roughage in it already.

where is the rice?

and i hope there is another bag full f ingredants just out of pic

mind you having seen you that might be enough to weigh you down for a couple fo hours

looks all lovely and fresh.

what are you making ?

There will be rice, but not got it out yet.

All ingredients are fresh except for the spices where I cheat slightly and use ground spices. Roasting and crushing is nicer but a bit too much effort.

It isn't any curry in particular. I've made it a few times and change the ingredients slightly each time and see what happens :)

Laz, are you on the wind up here ?

You crap bigger portions than that ffs !


ps. I had a takeaway tonight, so no pics from me ;)

First thing I did was chop the tomatoes and place them in the pan with some boiling water. Lid on and let them simmer away.

Then I cut the garlic/ginger/chills. Throw them in. Throw the spices. Some more water. Some olive oil. Salt/papper. Balsamic vinegar, worchester sauce. And squeeze in the lemon juice. This is now simmering away nicely before I prepare to do in my eyes cutting the onion.

Here's a pic of this concoction :)

I am still in shock over Laz's Ruby ... I am close to tears tbh !

ffs i am hungrey kev what type of take away you get if it indian can we get some pics

'twas a Chinese mate ... I know you hate it :D

Had a chicken breast curry with chips ... jane had sweet & sour chicken , egg flied lice and plawn clacker

panic over just got a couple of large sausage rolls

ps i dont hate chinese food i just got a phobia about it

quality over quantity dear boy.

actually it was more than adequate for 2 people. there was nearly 2llbs of chicken breast in it.

pfft, won't be as nice as mine

chicken/onions/peppers done and thrown in. needs an hour to simmer now. will post a pic at end :)

lol, especially after watching me at all you can eat buffets :D

i cant beleive you guys can cook a curry in a couple of hours

i always leave mine to simmer over night

I'm having one portion tonight. The rest will be left for a couple of days before we eat that :)

A pic of it as soon as it is plated up please.

Simmering away...

Hmmm looks good Cf, what are you serving it with?

Just rice. Not a massive fan of naan bread. Best do that now, time to dig out the frying pan :)

And this is the finished product with some coriander thrown on top. Presentation isn't brilliant, don't have any fancy plates to put it on, and I like having the curry and rice side by side so that doesn't look good either.

Tasted lovely, quite spicy as i put quite a bit of chili in there :)

Looks nice, I fancy a ruby now......

looks very good. not too sure about peppers in a curry though....

+1

Schoolboy error there Nana, onions need to sweat so you should fry them first before you add the tomatoes.

Nana's ruby beats butchers thumb, and Laz's fkin starter is a poor third !!

The tomatoes were the first thing in the pan to get them reduced. I then added the other things to make up the sauce.

Whilst this was simmering away I stir fried the onions/peppers in the wok. After about 5 mins these were transferred to the main pan. Then stir fry chicken and add that to main pan.

Ahh that's different then, just checking ;)

WTF are you guys seriously cooking sgitey dinners during CL games?

**** presentation!! :D

(http://img197.imageshack.us/img197/4033/bananas1.jpg)

that looks amazing. will you be my toyboy please?

haha, i think i'll pass lol

:(

Why would you want a boyfriend with longer hair than yourself???

FFFFSSSSSS!!!!

I trying to lose some weight so have eaten carefully today, but I was hungry all night and seeing that curry tipped me over the edge, so I popped down to my local takeaway, sigh...........
(http://i444.photobucket.com/albums/qq167/Andr4w/IMG_1115.jpg)

Tasted fkn good mind you........

Nice to see you being careful not to overdo the green stuff :D


looks delish !

I'm an equal opportunities employer :D

You pay for it? ;hide;

looks not bad too

Hom much do you pay?

Do you need a job?

If it pays better than my current one then yes!

Over to Claw LOL.......

lol no, i meant 'employ' as in 'put to use'. In this case, in the kitchen, obv.

I can also cook a better fry up than Kev! Minus Mushrooms OBV!!

I love mushrooms.  i'm binning  your application straight away.

SIGH

I have the same worktops as you!

Why all the hate for mushrooms?? they make a fry up!! (them and hash browns!)

mushrooms are the food of the devil

Agree, but the mushrooms gotta be fried in butter though.

Exactly, you start off frying up loads and they get down so small it looks like nothing


but so nice  ;kev; ;kev;

I'm happy with just mushrooms on toast on their own if they are made well tbh........

you lot are sick

Garlic mushroom on fresh brioche is fab

(obviously in a restaurant I can barely make toast)

mushrooms cooked in butter and garlic is almost heavenly.

snails cooked in butter and garlic is truly heavenly

snails i can live with

mushrooms should be shot at birth

I think snails cooked in garlic taste like mushrooms if you close your eyes tbh.

i went for all you can eat sushi tonight and as always it was delic, going out for a meze to my local bubble gaff tommorow night and havnt worked out the rest of the week yet.

.

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Qusi0HCmOo

lol. More of bolt's opinions via the medium of video please.

now i know why bolt needs a t-shirt

and was that ban bolt or ban boldie

could ban them both just to be on the safe side?

best video ever. has boldie been banned yet?

wtf is this?

even kev could beat you

this is good

oi i ant no prick

i can  cook

you sure can

Lol mate, you never let us down.

Geo

i beat you all i had lamb klefitko (i think thats how its spelled)  got pissed then 2.5 grams. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm dinner of kings cooking is for mugs when resturants do it better wuth less washing up.

ahahahhahaah bolt your so com

this word is overused, but Bolt is defo a Legend.

no, it's kleftiko.

 ;tightend; ;tightend; ;applause; ;applause;

Every blondeite should post a vlog or face a cookoff ban imo

but we're not all as photogenic as Bolty though. If I looked like Sinead O'Connor too I'd post one.

bolty what is that piece of  doing dirt under yr bottom lip?

I, in particular, like the eye brows up thing he does at the end.

sure wasnt buzzing out my nut at 6am the other morning

This comment deserves more love :)

Too young to know who Sinead O'Connor is, and too lazy to google.

(http://images.wolfgangsvault.com/images/catalog/detail/RS642-RS.jpg)

AKA

bolt PP

Come on then you expert gastronomes,How do you cook a perfect steak?

Mine always taste like a pair of Clarke's after wards.

Top tips please and does and don'ts.

OMG, that IS Bolt!

Here's how I cook steak.

1. Buy a decent piece of meat to start with
2. keep it out of the fridge for a while before cooking so it's near enough room temperature when it hits the pan
3. use a grill pan - make sure it's dead hot before you put the steak in it
4. brush steak with a little olive oil, stick on some salt and pepper
5. bung steak in hot pan, turn only once during cooking,  +/- a couple of minutes each side (depending on your preference)

you are joking aint you?

Errr, no.

Almost!

Put the salt, pepper, and oil, on an hour before you start cooking.

No oil in pan. I do 1 minute 30 each side. This gets you a rare steak. 2 mins will prob do medium. Any more and you may as well not bother buying a decent cut in the first place :)

give the steak to a chef

/end thread

can someone with skillz please photoshop a baseball cap onto the pic of sinead o'connor

hers she is under a baseball cap

You should only put the salt on just before you cook it otherwise it will draw the moisture out of the steak.

Putting it on at the end does the same thing. But if you put the salt on earlier it's drawn into the steak and adds flavour. If it's a good cut of steak it'll still be plentifully moist.

steak out of fridge and coat in oil (not olive)
season about 20 minutes before cooking.

get pan/skillet really hot - i mean so hot you cant hold your hand over it for more than a second

place steak into dry pan. cook for about 1 minute either side, making sure it is sealed

put some unsalted butter and parsley on top of the steak and put it in the oven at 200 for 5 minutes.

while this is happening, deglaze the pan with a little olive oil, and add some button mushrooms, quickly fry them off (just to annoy ironside)



the key to this is the really hot pan. and allow the steak to rest for 5 minutes before serving.

fyp

Like this

(http://www.ruthschris.com/content/images/photos/img_menu_filet.jpg)

Looks a bit dry

And whats that crappy veg on the plate for.

First of all find yourself a decent family butcher then come back to me.

serious bit of steak

Yes but dead please.

Even James Herriot couldn't bring that back to life.

The green stuff is for presentation, the jockeys whips are in the background.

half hoping i can donk early out of the tournament i'm in so I can pop out for a nice bit of steak - starving now after reading this!

i fking love bolt.  that video is class.

pls do more.

yeah come on bolt. Do one now please. I'm bored and need entertaining.

its funny seeing a video of somebody you've never met but seem to 'know' via a forum.  i thought you would be a bit of a porker!

me or bolt? (presume bolt, coz I am a bit!!)

i havent seen a video message from you...yet.  please post one giving somebody abuse or calling people mugs.  ty

my video message is on the blonde bash memories thread - delivered via the medium of song*
























*disclaimer - may not be tuneful

pls post on this thread. 

no. i would consider making a video message now, but I cba to put any slap on and I don't want to scare any small children who might view this thread over their parents' shoulders this weekend.

you could wear a mask?

OK I'll see what I can do.

Back to steaks, here was the full meal.

Split starter

(http://www.ruthschris.com/content/images/menu/appetizers/img_app_ravioli.jpg)

split salad

(http://www.ruthschris.com/content/images/menu/salads/img_salad_chopped.jpg)

Steak to myself obv

(http://www.ruthschris.com/content/images/menu/entrees/img_entrees_filet_wine.jpg)

Split these

(http://www.ruthschris.com/content/images/menu/sides/img_sides_lyonnaise.jpg)

and these

(http://www.ruthschris.com/content/images/menu/sides/img_sides_broccoli.jpg)

For some reason couldn't manage pud...

(http://vidmg.photobucket.com/albums/v248/clairep75/th_d9b8b632.jpg) (http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v248/clairep75/?action=view&current=d9b8b632.flv)

 ;applause; ;applause; ;applause; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend; ;yippee; rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

Absolute quality lol

lol

v good

+1

Nothing compares to you though bolt

Damn you Simon - am abso starving now and have another 5 hours of work to do!


How abso lush - that's my sunday sorted ;-)

This bit '/' is doing the ending for you

/html lesson

Ling,
If it helps, the pasta sounded and looked better than it tasted :(  In fact the salad was the highlight, the steak was great but soaked in butter, which was fine, but I'd rather it without.  There was more cheese than broccoli and the spuds were so-so.

what was name of restaurant ?

RuthsChris

More info ... where is it etc... looks pricey.

Kev,
It's a chain across the states.  www.ruthschris.com

There are 2 outlets in LV, for some strange reason neither of which are as good as they are in other states I have visited.  Prices are fairly standard for LV steakhouse, but there are much better options in town for the same or less money.  A steak is going to be $40-$50, sides are $7 or $8, salad prolly $10-12, starter $10-$15, wine as much as you want.

Been to a few different ones, always very very good but very expensive as well.

Yes it can come to a few quid, but without going silly $100 a head does it.

That might be expensive, but it is often better value than some of the meals I have paid £40 a head for.

mmmm, all you can eat sushi again tonight will endevour to get some photos of some of the courses i will munch.

how much do you pay for all you can eat sushi? don't think I've ever seen it

well its £16.95 for food but we have extra's off the norm menu (like unaigi) (eel) and then we smash the beer and sake so bill  tonight was £106 for 2. Had such a weird night thate ended in sitting in a couple of girls flat we had met who said shall we get some heroin , to which avfter debate they saud woud take a hour to deliver so me and a mate enjoyed 40 mins with girls and then ran whilst having a crafty fag outside, they looked nice and no needle marks and didnt come across liker it in the club art all.

If I go back to a flat and they want heroin, bearing in mind they don't come across as the type or have needle marks? Well, I'd worry. Don't ever go near my sisters. :P

quality - are you sure they werent having you on!? 

Anyone cooking anything tonight? My turn to cook again so will post whatever I end up doing on here again :)

tonight mathew i am having mince tatties and skirlie but unfortunately i aint cooking it

Right ... having been stung by recent criticism and Sinead's video, I am aiming to redeem myself tonight.. So.

Chicken breasts with cheese & bacon
Colcannon Mash ( that's mash with spring onion and cabbage and cream to you peasants)
Peas, broccoli and green beans

For dessert

syrup sponge & custard

Hopefully that mug with the gammy knee will partake of the challenge as well ... PLUS anyone else that fancies a bash at getting slaughtered by the good people of blonde :D

I was thinking of making tomato soup. Probably not the most taxing of efforts but I've not had it in a while.

Should we make a new thread so we can get a new poll going every week? :)

Leave this one going til about 5pm ... then we can see who is in for the big cook off and start a new thread.

Ps. Opening a tin of Heinz is sure going to get you a win :D

home made obviously :)

except i might have to buy the tomatoes as i don't grow them myself. what a cheat.

that mug who's 100% record is intact and  has slaughtered you in everything that you have failed to cook even to school dinner standards  ;D


this would even beat your effort from last week

p.s like the ingriedients for this weeks cook off,can we keep them for next week, i know i'd kick your ass big time with those.

ps the gammy knee mug is being waited on 2 nite ftw  ;D

lovely make sure its baxters

Easily becoming my favourite poster

Anyone else involved tonight ??

Just Nana and me ?

Gammy knee has bottled it ... have you ?

any chance jane cooking at yours kev then we might get a photo of something worth eating

Tuesday night is Jane's non cook night ... gg her !


I am starting my meal in about 20 mins ... Lots to do.

Are lazy meals allowed to enter?

Tonight's going to be a curry but there may be a jar of some sort involved.

Go for it Matt ... the more the merrier.

Right ... I'm off to start peeling spuds !!  FML.

feel a bit sorry for cf he cant really win, if he beats kev its standrd if he doesnt he gets slaughtered!

just eaten my dinner +ev
cook forgot the skirlie -ev

like kev would ever win lol

to bottle it would mean i would have to be scared of oppo

 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

Home made soup??

One question.......

Why??

no tin opener?

That must be it.

Can't think of any other reason.

I have no idea what a skirlie is but I'm guessing that not eating one is a good thing. it sounds like a disease

Mulder's partner?

According to Cerys Matthews anyway......

 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

Right then I've decided to walk the dog first so my effort won't be available until quite late.

Also I've been inspired by Cos to include a picture of the dog's dinner before I start cooking.

This should be good enough to take the win and I can just ring for a pizza.

you got to have skirlie with mice and tatties

ffs you never hada  white pudding from the chippy

OMG!!!  Only soup you'll catch me making from a packet or tin is chicken noodle soup mainly because I can't be arsed to put the effort into something so basic.  

But man oh man, nothing beats a good pot of home made chowder or potato and leek soup in the winter.  For summer months gazpacho soup is the bomb!  That and some freshly made mezzaluna bread is me in heaven!

Homemade soup is awesome. Much better than the tinned stuff.

But I'm not making that now. I'm instead making what we know as "random stir fry".

My prawn chowder rocks..........

The dog.....

(http://i576.photobucket.com/albums/ss205/evilpie1/DSC00381.jpg)

His dinner

(http://i576.photobucket.com/albums/ss205/evilpie1/DSC00382.jpg)

On the right we have our main course of 250g of chopped beef.

On the left we have our desert of a partial lamb's rib cage.

I realise that presentation might not be perfect here but to fair he will be eating it as it is off the floor.

If I only beat Kev with this effort which is possible now that CF is actually making proper food then I will make my curry later.

If I can win with Ronnie's dinner then I'll be having a takeaway. Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.......

That is one beast of a dog!   Now I understand the digs you got for taking him to a park where the elderly play.  rotflmfao

PS  Your dinner beats Kev's already.  GG

like having water fights drinking Stella's and playing Frisbee?

Dinner sorted.
(http://i638.photobucket.com/albums/uu106/barhell/Malt/IMG_1157.jpg)

winner

/thread

would be if it wasn't for the vitamins

looks like an unpaid bill as well, luckily it's not red yet

Got to have the vitamins on a liquid dinner and as fior the bill aren't you meant to wait for the red one?

Mines simmering away. Will take pics up to my computer soon :)

1.5 litres of liquid gold !!

And a very dusty desk !

lol kev, desperate attempt for bonus points!!!!!!!!!!

No ... if I wanted bonus points I would have posted pic's of the single barrel Jack ;)

Right ... Slaughter me !

Fast becoming my favourite poster!

i'm assuming the plates to the right are yours also, whats with the small portions and where the fucks the rest of the gravy, it looks double dry.

Kev stick to the puddings mate!!

That chicken ain't cooked Kev!

Course it was fkin cooked ... thats bacon !! 

kev pudding wins but mains are a big time loser

fml i am wanting a pudding now

Am I the only one who thinks that the dog's dinner has been cooked for longer than that chicken?

agreed. that's a food poisoning incident just waiting to happen

open the jd now imo

Anyone else wanna be Matt's dog?

Kev I don't have major beef with the food (geddit?) but those plates have too much curvature on the sides, they are nearing on bowls. I'm a little tilted.

sighhhhhhhh the chicken was cooked to perfection ... !!  pure white inside and skewered to make sure juices were clear.

I want Matt's dog, that's the best looking Rotty I've ever seen, and I HATE dogs.

Also too many vegtables in proportion to the mash and chicken

i couldnt afford matts dog if he eats that for dinner every day

I've met him in person and he's bigger than he looks in that picture too! Wicked dog though

Sigh.  And I was almost impressed when you mentioned the type of mash you were making too.  Double JD straight up after seeing that 'dinner'.

LOL criticism is fair enough from those that stand up and be counted ... but come on ... bolt, Laxie et al ... take a snap of your tea !! ... well pot noodle in bolts case :D

take it like a man kev

ok next week I'll take you on Colchester

Gravy with Bacon, NO!

BIG FAIL on that alone

After what I've seen the past couple of weeks, will deffo come up with something good for next Tuesday.  Is it just main and dessert or will we do a starter too?

Set a poll going :)
mine will be ready in 5. Will get pics up when I've eaten.

Spacefrog's in the thread, I can't fkin wait for this...

Monsieur Frog is a gentleman, I am sure he will react favourably to a nice bit of Poulet !

oh come on man thats below the belt

 rotflmfao  GG Kev.  No amount of kissing up will save you from the spacefrog!

Best place for legs tbh :D

Good job I have no feelings ... if I did have, they would be hurting !

Paff, is frozen vegetables. Every pois is different colors. Non!

Is bacons + sauce. Non!

He is pink this poule. Non!

What is this you drown in creme anglais? for this dog? Non!



This potota thing I like, is ok.

Froggy likes me spuds ... there is a god !


Merci Monsieur Frog

looks ok to me Kev      fk the haters

The spuds are deffo a good call.  Pity about the rest of it.  We'll just call you the Spud King. 

what you after?

Sometimes I am sad for this rosbif. He make this effort, he make me smile and I say few things. But he is no chef.

lol

i'm 100% sure i know who spacefrog is now, surprising as he never makes me laugh as himself.

Right then......

While Ronnie is sleeping off his dinner I shall go and prepare mine.

(http://i576.photobucket.com/albums/ss205/evilpie1/DSC00361.jpg)

Back soon.

Oh and Kev..... Doesn't look too bad to be honest. Shame about the amateur JD in a poor attempt to win favour.

Yeah seems a coincidence he always shows up 5 mins after the food has been served ;carlocitrone;

no pictures of tonights curry. Was a Lamb Saag tonight that was, probably even tastier than last weeks effort.

and is now off forum, switched back to alter ego.

nah not yet

Ok. This week I have a random stir fry, and from the pictures it probably doesn't look too different from what I made last week. It however tastes completely different and has a much different texture.

So first off the ingredients:

(http://i797.photobucket.com/albums/yy259/CfNana/IMG_0081.jpg?t=1256675478)

Chicken
Red chili
Green chili
Ginger
Garlic
Tomatoes
Orange
Also missing from the pic:
Worchester sauce
Balsamic vinegar
Salt
Pepper
Suga

The first thing I did was reduce the tomatoes, then blend them to make a puree:

(http://i797.photobucket.com/albums/yy259/CfNana/IMG_0083.jpg?t=1256675573)

This jug was full. I ended up using about 2/3rds of it in the final mixture.

Whilst this was going on I put the chicken in a bowl along with all the components of the sauce (everything except onions/peppers):

(http://i797.photobucket.com/albums/yy259/CfNana/IMG_0084.jpg?t=1256675642)

I then stir fried the onions and peppers and removed them from the wok. After that the chicken and the mixture went in. I cooked this for about 10 minutes before returning the onion/peppers to the wok:

(http://i797.photobucket.com/albums/yy259/CfNana/IMG_0085.jpg?t=1256675711)

I put the lid on at left it cooking at high heat for about 20 minutes. I then took the lid off and let it simmer for a further 10 minutes to reduce. Cooked the rice and we have a final product of:

(http://i797.photobucket.com/albums/yy259/CfNana/IMG_0086.jpg?t=1256675770)

Tasted lovely. The chicken and vegetables were very moist and full of flavour. Really happy with how it turned out :)

the cooking pics looked awsome but the finished dish looked a bit meh, the rice looks chunky and stuck together and again the chicken looks really dry.

just edges it over kevs imo

the rice was supposed to be like that. Depends what mood I'm in. If I want it chunky then I boil it in a pan. If I want it light and fluffy (like last week) then I steam it in the frying pan.

Chicken was not dry :)

Why did you reduce it so much?  I'd prefer a bit more of the juice from the sauce to be there in the end product.  Looks as dry as Kev's by the time you've served it up.  For that reason, I'm calling this week a draw.  

Winner winner chicken dinner.

It's not dry! The chicken/vegs have taken the moisture in! I hate dry food!

Did you nick the bowl from school ?

And why do you have one of John Lowe's darts in the school bowl ?

yeah it was really close but its funnier saying kevs was shit :D

that looks spot on nana :)up

he is now

Well here's mine.

Nana's looks impressive I must admit.

Main course - Chicken Balti with rice and a couple of pittas

(http://i576.photobucket.com/albums/ss205/evilpie1/DSC00387.jpg)

Desert - Vanilla Cheesecake

(http://i576.photobucket.com/albums/ss205/evilpie1/DSC00385.jpg)

The whole ensemble......

(http://i576.photobucket.com/albums/ss205/evilpie1/DSC00389.jpg)

a clear winner emerges

+1

i want nana's main and evilpie's pudding

Meh, I would like to lay into you Evil but curry and cheesecake is full of win, no matter how much effort you put in.

The pics do like there from some bad takeway/cafe who take pictures of their food and it all looks completely colourless.

i thought the opposite that the dinner itself looked alright but the pics looked really good!

+2 wonderful

The curry does look nice but also like it's come out of a jar. It prob tastes nice but I prefer a home made sauce with fresh ingredients.

bitchy ::)

Pitta looks a bit dry Matt.

same with the cheesecake - better homemade imo

+1 only critisism, really looks OK otherwise, I'd eat it. Winner I'd say.

looks homemade to me?

This

gtfo. cheesecake looks incred, only pic posted today not destined for a dog that does

ok, if it's home made it's very good - but I have my doubts.

I couldn't give a toss, either way it looks sensational

As did my Prawn and chilli Linguine tonight lol, but you are such a tough crowd to please I will keep the evidence to myself lest I am scarred for ever

 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

Clearly there is only 1 winner tonight,and kev i hope that wallpaper was inherited you can clearly see the gap between the 2 sheets..

and the winner is the only 1 i think enjoyed his food the most 2nite on presentation and taste..


































































































(http://i369.photobucket.com/albums/oo133/cia260895/ronnie.jpg)

who cares if the cake is homemade? what on earth makes you think that matt would make a better cheesecake than a pro baker?

much better to buy what appears to be an awesome bit of cake than to eat your own crappy effort imo

because the additives and preservatives make it a different flavour to fresh

Cheesecake is homemade........

At someone else's home.

Whoever ate a wet pitta?

They're supposed to be dry you numpty.

:)up then

by far the best effort on this thread

Yeah I've gone down the fresh route before but tbh the jars taste better.

I just chop up and fry an onion and some currants use half a jar then add some fresh tomatoes and a few spices and let it simmer for 15 mins.

ZOMG you have been disqualified

You know I like a bit of seetness in my curries Hopkin.

It probably only about 10 but it really adds to the taste.

You have to fry the fuck out of them though or the texture is just wrong.

Yeah I know you like your sweetness sweety but the thought of a sultana scares me, and thats why we can never be together.  :'(

Your curry loses any credibility because of sultanas/currants or whatever they were.

Er.......Sultanas OK, u don't get 'currants' in authentic curry.

fruit is a must for a good curry

They just get fried up and form a chutney.

Just adds loads of flavour.

Cheeky sod, no it wasn't inherited!  >:(

I spent bloomin ages hanging that paper,  and typically Kev goes and finds a bit that needs the edge re-sticking.

Hmmph!

oops me and my mouth again xx

right... i norm eat out 5 days a week and takeaway for 2 but i can cook and at some point in the next week i am gonna stick up a photo not sure of what yet, but will be a main and a cake as I can only mke cakes as puds.

why was there no poll?

Thought we'd give Kev the week off from polls.  The Lad has been through enough. 

Instead, we thought it better to just post our thoughts as opposed to hiding behind a poll.  Looking after him, so we are.

because Kev in these cook offs is like Spurs in the Prem, put a good effort in, show some people up occasionally, but we all know they're never gonna win :P

Truth is, I could put pics up of a top notch dinner nicked from t'internet and I would still get slated :D

Water off a ducks back.

tomorrows breakfast

(http://i369.photobucket.com/albums/oo133/cia260895/003-1.jpg)

anyone doing a roast today ?

You would need balls of steel to post pics of a Sunday roast on here !!

whats a roast?

sunday is my go out for dinner day

obvs i cant dont stp the family though

so i get a chippy

thnk i might have a white pudding tonight

I'm on strike.  Did a massive roast dinner yesterday and nobody here to eat it...so guess what they're getting today!   rotflmfao

why cook a roast when there was no one there?

Your latest effort looks fucking atrocious Kev.

I don't mind putting a pic of my Sunday dinner up but it's nothing special.

Most of it will be courtesy of Aunt Bessie :)

Oh and I'm having chicken leg wrapped in bacon and you know what the hater's think about that, especially when you cover it in gravy.

I've just had a corned beef sandwich - sorry no pics.

They were all meant to be here but they got caught up in other events for their day and didn't bother to tell me until I was ready to serve the dinner.  GG roast.

Thought about making one Kev but just couldn't be arsed, here is lunch. Might make something proper for tea if I can get my fat arse off the sofa we'll see.

(http://i444.photobucket.com/albums/qq167/Andr4w/Utilty002.jpg)

Not sure about putting this up. It's not my best effort but I don't mind a bit of a slating.

We have:-

Frozen cauliflower
Frozen peas
Frozen dumplings
Frozen Yorkshire puds
Frozen roast potatoes

All courtesy of Aunt Bessie but to be honest they're so nice there's not much point doing them fresh just for yourself.

Real mashed potato
Real chicken leg stuffed with all kinds of goodies and wrapped in bacon.

Real gravy made with the chicken juice. Mmmmmmmm......

So all in all quite a lazy effort but I can assure you it tasted lovely.

(http://i576.photobucket.com/albums/ss205/evilpie1/DSC00285.jpg)

Looks good to me - bigger plates ftw

Yeah I know. It was a bit of a squeeze.

I personally think it's an organisational masterpiece.

Its logistically brilliant.

Bet Ronnie soon gobbled that up.  You spoil him.

Loving the token sprinkling of green stuff :D

But Dumplings with a roast ... GTFO.

Ronnie's eating now. I think he wins again tbh.

(http://i576.photobucket.com/albums/ss205/evilpie1/DSC00093-1.jpg)

But they taste soooo nice......

forget the dunplings
forget the cauliflower
forget tthe peas

add some sage and onion
add some sauagemeat

and your onto a winner

oh and why autie bessies yorkies

even i can make them and they dont take that long

They're both inside the chicken mate.

Cus to be honest no matter how hard I try Aunt Bessies just taste nicer and look better.

next time i have some yorkies i will get you a photo of a proper yorkie so much nicer

you do remember to use plain and not self raising flour such a common mistake