Vegas & The Aftermath - Diary

[Ironside]

Tony you should of come up north with your time off what a beautiful time to be in the highlands and great weather too

[tikay]

An e-Mail came across my desk the other day about Liv Boeree, who has signed up with a major celebrity Agency, "Insanity Talent Management".

Can't blame her for trying to progress her career, & if things go wrong at 'Stars (where she seems very secure, or was prior to the DoJ thing, & probaly still is) it's another string to her bow.

I first got to know her when she first played APAT Events, (APAT Cardiff, when Dear Brendan did his "walking miracle" as I recall), maybe 5 years back, my, she's come a long way since then.

I would NEVER have recognized her in this picture, either. Some makeover that. She's naturally very pretty, extremely so, with lovely soft facial features, but the photo makes her almost unrecognisable.

http://www.itmlondon.com/

[MANTIS01]

OK, lappie #2 now fired up.

So, I go into the cage at Luton for a smoke with Vinni. Life is good.

He's on the net, via his 'phone.

"You been Online & seen it?" he asks.

Nope, been offline the whole day, what's up?

"Want to know, really?"

Umm, I suppose so, I say, dreading what is coming next. More forum aggro, I guess.

And he shows me a Facebook exchange.

I don't want to look, but he tells me. FFS.

I drive home, depressed as I can be. What is the matter with people?

I do not log on at first, I don't want to, I'm dreading it, but eventually, I do.

And I see this Facebook entry, by a Banned blonde, discussing Tom.

That gypo fucker hated me, gonna burn his caravan down lol

To get this in context, the guy was banned from blonde, at a guess, four or 5 years ago. And still the hate lingers. What to think & say about such an individual?

5 years ago, & still all that bigoted hate? All over a poker forum? What?

And despite several blondes & ex-blondes commenting on the same "string", not one person objected to the comments, or said "hold on fella, that's a bit strong, even in jest". Including, of course, me. I am not sure whether to, or not. Maybe I'm a drama queen (guilty as charged), maybe I'm over-sensitive, maybe I'm a daft twat.

In my defence, Tom is my best friend, the best friend I ever had. Brave, strong, wise, & my counsel whenever I have a problem in life. I love him to death, more than anything or anyone. So I suppose an over-reaction is possible, likely even. Maybe I just lost my sense of humour, I don't know.

The thing is, "burn the gypo's caravan down" is more than most realise, & perhaps the guy who wrote it never realised. It's a symbolic thing with Gypsies, & the bigots who despise them, it's as offensive as "nigger", "paki", or whatever.

The comment has been seen by numerous people, I know that from a flood of e-Mails this morning. It's been reported to Facebook (by Tighty, God bless him) but it's still there, even now.

I suppose I'll be flamed to death now, but hey, I get flamed daily, everywhere, by banned Members, too bad, I'll deal with it, and when I retire, I'll never go near a Forum or Facebook ever again. I don't want or need to be exposed to these dreadful people, I just don't. I get it myself, daily, & I don't enjoy it, but it's OK, there are compensations (no pain, no gain) but this feels different.

A painful morning, a painful Post, & I hope it's properly understood by those who read it, or reply. I genuinely don't know if I'm just being over-sensitive, because Tom is my man, & most people in my spot, would, I hope, be equally saddened, no?

I just don't know what to think.

Tom's reaction? You can guess. He's more upset that nobody has taken issue with the Post, I think. Anyway, I won't second-guess his views, he can look after himself. Like me, he does not know what to think, or say, right now. Both of us feel the same - are Forums worth all this? Is a fucking poker forum really that important that people think that sort of comment is fine & dandy? Because a Member got Banned, 5 years ago? From a poker forum?

I can't really grasp how Forms are so emotive that a ban causes such hatred.

So there you are. I don't Post a lot of my private thoughts, because I know I'll get mullered, but I feel a duty to Tom to say my piece. And if people don't like it, they can gtfo.

If anyone can decipher the real message here, I hope they comment.

And I'm pretty sure I know what many will think, & say. "Over-sensitive", "gone soft in the head", "drama queen".

I'm as honest with myself as I know how to be, but I honestly don't know if they'd be right or not. If so, guilty as charged, I won't argue.

I suppose it's hard for people to imagine wearing other people's shoes.

There are many occasions when I have read you talking about the startling difference between online personas and real life personas. Chap X is an arsehole online and hey presto chap X is a likeable fella in real life. Thus it is confusing that you believe with so much conviction that those words stem from deep-rooted bigotry and hate. They probably don't stem from those things at all. It's just a comment. If your distress stems from your loathing of bigotry I would suggest that distress is probably misplaced. If however, you are distressed about the comment itself then you are spending a lot of time worrying that idiots make idiotic comments. They can and they will. When all is said and done so what? Why give so much of one's time to pondering such things from such people when there is so much good to focus on instead?

Tom is your friend and you know he is a good man. You played poker with your mates in Luton and life is good. The sun is out and the birds are singing. Yet the longest post is reserved for your depression over why haters are gonna hate? Not sure what the answer is Tony but it certainly wouldn't bother me.

[tikay]

Tony you should of come up north with your time off what a beautiful time to be in the highlands and great weather too

Yes, maybre, Iron, I thought about it, but the roads are so naff over the Bank Holiday weekend. Plenty of time for that when I press the retire button though.

I'll just have a nice restful weekend down here.

Life is good, very good, especially recently, I've been so lucky in life. Don't read my Posts today the wrong way, everything is good. I just thought it was so wrong, & felt I had to say something.

I'm not exactly jumping with joy about it, but I don't want to knee-jerk, it's entirely possible that I'm just being too sensitive. But I hated it.

Hope you & the family are well.

Did you know George Geary? So many people have written to me following his recent death. Very sad. I saw Jeff Buffenburger last night, & he was near to tears about it. Buff & George always did a bit of poker "business" together.

I believe George's Son(s) run a Care Home, or so Jeff told me.

[jakally]

And I'm pretty sure I know what many will think, & say. "Over-sensitive", "gone soft in the head", "drama queen".

I'm as honest with myself as I know how to be, but I honestly don't know if they'd be right or not. If so, guilty as charged, I won't argue.

I suppose it's hard for people to imagine wearing other people's shoes.

Are you over sensitive? In simple terms, yes, absolutely.

You seem to have  the ability to allow insignificant people, writing stuff on an internet forum (or on Facebook etc...), to affect your bearing and demeanour.
To change your mood, and to materially impact whether you are happy or not on any particular day.

Would it not be far better to feel sorry for these people, and wonder how poor their lives must be to get involved in some of the arguments and abuse that they do.
I know this sounds  patronising, but so often it just seems so childish.

I've just read the Hendon Mob thread you refer to. Looks to be a typical insular reaction to a relative outsider.
Funniest bit was when the guy who made the abusive comment, apologises to you, but stood by his 'f....... buffoon' comment.
Why would he want to call someone simply asking a question a name like that, and then repeat it?

The 'burning caravan' comment is obv. in a different category altogether.
Blatant racism.

Why do people not comment?

I think if for one second anyone thought it was a threat he would carry out, then the reaction would be different.
You could begin to have an argument with him.........but what good would that do?
Well I'm pretty sure you are not going to change his mind, and it may give him a platform to spout more of his bile.

I've avoided, largely, having any kind of disagreement on fb, chat boxes, forums etc..., and I hate the thought of changing that.
Quite often I will see something I disagree with and my immediate reaction is to respond.
Almost always I don't... because I know it will end in an argument, or abuse etc....
In some instances I probably should respond.... such as the fb one...... but I probably will carry on resisting. My bad. Probably.

[tikay]

OK, lappie #2 now fired up.

So, I go into the cage at Luton for a smoke with Vinni. Life is good.

He's on the net, via his 'phone.

"You been Online & seen it?" he asks.

Nope, been offline the whole day, what's up?

"Want to know, really?"

Umm, I suppose so, I say, dreading what is coming next. More forum aggro, I guess.

And he shows me a Facebook exchange.

I don't want to look, but he tells me. FFS.

I drive home, depressed as I can be. What is the matter with people?

I do not log on at first, I don't want to, I'm dreading it, but eventually, I do.

And I see this Facebook entry, by a Banned blonde, discussing Tom.

That gypo fucker hated me, gonna burn his caravan down lol

To get this in context, the guy was banned from blonde, at a guess, four or 5 years ago. And still the hate lingers. What to think & say about such an individual?

5 years ago, & still all that bigoted hate? All over a poker forum? What?

And despite several blondes & ex-blondes commenting on the same "string", not one person objected to the comments, or said "hold on fella, that's a bit strong, even in jest". Including, of course, me. I am not sure whether to, or not. Maybe I'm a drama queen (guilty as charged), maybe I'm over-sensitive, maybe I'm a daft twat.

In my defence, Tom is my best friend, the best friend I ever had. Brave, strong, wise, & my counsel whenever I have a problem in life. I love him to death, more than anything or anyone. So I suppose an over-reaction is possible, likely even. Maybe I just lost my sense of humour, I don't know.

The thing is, "burn the gypo's caravan down" is more than most realise, & perhaps the guy who wrote it never realised. It's a symbolic thing with Gypsies, & the bigots who despise them, it's as offensive as "nigger", "paki", or whatever.

The comment has been seen by numerous people, I know that from a flood of e-Mails this morning. It's been reported to Facebook (by Tighty, God bless him) but it's still there, even now.

I suppose I'll be flamed to death now, but hey, I get flamed daily, everywhere, by banned Members, too bad, I'll deal with it, and when I retire, I'll never go near a Forum or Facebook ever again. I don't want or need to be exposed to these dreadful people, I just don't. I get it myself, daily, & I don't enjoy it, but it's OK, there are compensations (no pain, no gain) but this feels different.

A painful morning, a painful Post, & I hope it's properly understood by those who read it, or reply. I genuinely don't know if I'm just being over-sensitive, because Tom is my man, & most people in my spot, would, I hope, be equally saddened, no?

I just don't know what to think.

Tom's reaction? You can guess. He's more upset that nobody has taken issue with the Post, I think. Anyway, I won't second-guess his views, he can look after himself. Like me, he does not know what to think, or say, right now. Both of us feel the same - are Forums worth all this? Is a fucking poker forum really that important that people think that sort of comment is fine & dandy? Because a Member got Banned, 5 years ago? From a poker forum?

I can't really grasp how Forms are so emotive that a ban causes such hatred.

So there you are. I don't Post a lot of my private thoughts, because I know I'll get mullered, but I feel a duty to Tom to say my piece. And if people don't like it, they can gtfo.

If anyone can decipher the real message here, I hope they comment.

And I'm pretty sure I know what many will think, & say. "Over-sensitive", "gone soft in the head", "drama queen".

I'm as honest with myself as I know how to be, but I honestly don't know if they'd be right or not. If so, guilty as charged, I won't argue.

I suppose it's hard for people to imagine wearing other people's shoes.

There are many occasions when I have read you talking about the startling difference between online personas and real life personas. Chap X is an arsehole online and hey presto chap X is a likeable fella in real life. Thus it is confusing that you believe with so much conviction that those words stem from deep-rooted bigotry and hate. They probably don't stem from those things at all. It's just a comment. If your distress stems from your loathing of bigotry I would suggest that distress is probably misplaced. If however, you are distressed about the comment itself then you are spending a lot of time worrying that idiots make idiotic comments. They can and they will. When all is said and done so what? Why give so much of one's time to pondering such things from such people when there is so much good to focus on instead?

Tom is your friend and you know he is a good man. You played poker with your mates in Luton and life is good. The sun is out and the birds are singing. Yet the longest post is reserved for your depression over why haters are gonna hate? Not sure what the answer is Tony but it certainly wouldn't bother me.

Mostly fair comment. I'm not sure, even if I sad so, that "depression" is the right word, I'm deffo not depressed, depressed is self-pity in many cases, there's none of that. 

I just don't understand, I suppose that's it really. Why the need to say such a thing? "just a comment", that makes it OK? Really?

You are right about online personna v live personna though, in so many cases, I could name a 100 who are incredibly good company in real life, & arseholes online. 101 if you count me.....

Nobody else seems bothered, but I think they are - they just don't want to put their head above the parapet.

I just needed to say what I thought, & as I freely noted, maybe I am looking at it wrong. I generally mull over these things for a few days, in peace & quiet, & the right answer just slowly forms in my mind. This time, I felt the need to comment.

Have you ever, in life, added up the pros & cons of having friends, proper friends, close friends? The pain & the pleasure? I'd need to study that ledger closely before knowing which side it falls. In a full life, friends have given me so much happiness, &, when things go wrong, so much hurt.

[MANTIS01]

btw my mrs was playing online poker last night. She became a bit distressed that everyone was calling her a fucking idiot. I had to laugh and told her they are saying that because she was winning the chips not because she is actually a fucking idiot in real life. Can't take this sort of thing too seriously. I enjoy those comments myself. I think it fuels me like tiger blood fuels Charlie Sheen.

[TightEnd]

I reported the comment to facebook. Blatant racism and disgusting, even if it was fuelled by drink or whatever, that being this individual's modus operandi going back 5 or 6 years.

However I have reported stuff to facebook before and never had a single response from them, so I've no idea if it is worth anything.

facebook is these days no better than an unmoderated outpouring of bile, from so many quarters. much more than it was say six months or so ago. Big football nights are the worst, or late weekend nights

[tikay]

And I'm pretty sure I know what many will think, & say. "Over-sensitive", "gone soft in the head", "drama queen".

I'm as honest with myself as I know how to be, but I honestly don't know if they'd be right or not. If so, guilty as charged, I won't argue.

I suppose it's hard for people to imagine wearing other people's shoes.

Are you over sensitive? In simple terms, yes, absolutely.

You seem to have  the ability to allow insignificant people, writing stuff on an internet forum (or on Facebook etc...), to affect your bearing and demeanour.
To change your mood, and to materially impact whether you are happy or not on any particular day.

Would it not be far better to feel sorry for these people, and wonder how poor their lives must be to get involved in some of the arguments and abuse that they do.
I know this sounds  patronising, but so often it just seems so childish.

I've just read the Hendon Mob thread you refer to. Looks to be a typical insular reaction to a relative outsider.
Funniest bit was when the guy who made the abusive comment, apologises to you, but stood by his 'f....... buffoon' comment.
Why would he want to call someone simply asking a question a name like that, and then repeat it?

The 'burning caravan' comment is obv. in a different category altogether.
Blatant racism.

Why do people not comment?

I think if for one second anyone thought it was a threat he would carry out, then the reaction would be different.
You could begin to have an argument with him.........but what good would that do?
Well I'm pretty sure you are not going to change his mind, and it may give him a platform to spout more of his bile.

I've avoided, largely, having any kind of disagreement on fb, chat boxes, forums etc..., and I hate the thought of changing that.
Quite often I will see something I disagree with and my immediate reaction is to respond.
Almost always I don't... because I know it will end in an argument, or abuse etc....
In some instances I probably should respond.... such as the fb one...... but I probably will carry on resisting. My bad. Probably.

I have read that 3 times, Neil, & I'm trying to find a single word, or line, to disagree with, including the first.  I can't, you have nailed it, & I feel I can come to terms with all that.

I need to "adjust" I suppose. There are deep-rooted reasons for my sensitivity, I won't bore you with them, but I need to try & address it. 

Maybe I'm approaching my male menopause.

Hope you are well.

Good luck tonight in the GUKPT Final, & I hope you give VLV a bash tomorrow - not much would give me more pleasure than for you to come to Vegas with me. I'm already thrilled to be taking Julian with me, & if you could bink a package, how good would that be?

First things first though. Win that GUKPT seat tonight, & I'll see you on Friday, & bink the Vegas package tomorrow. All good, & the future is full of exciting stuff.

[tikay]

I reported the comment to facebook. Blatant racism and disgusting, even if it was fuelled by drink or whatever, that being this individual's modus operandi going back 5 or 6 years.

However I have reported stuff to facebook before and never had a single response from them, so I've no idea if it is worth anything.

facebook is these days no better than an unmoderated outpouring of bile, from so many quarters. much more than it was say six months or so ago. Big football nights are the worst, or late weekend nights

I would like to discuss this, not argue, but how do you view MANTIS well-reasoned view, that "it's just a comment", then?

I appreciated his reply, & don't want to diss him at all, & I have to say that maybe Neil knows me better, but I thought that Neil absolutely nailed it.

I wish this convo was about others, & I was an impartial observer, because it fascinates so.

I suppose, broadly, it breaks into an age gap, or generation, thing.

[redsimon]

Life's too short to get het up by internet keyboard warriors.

[TightEnd]

I reported the comment to facebook. Blatant racism and disgusting, even if it was fuelled by drink or whatever, that being this individual's modus operandi going back 5 or 6 years.

However I have reported stuff to facebook before and never had a single response from them, so I've no idea if it is worth anything.

facebook is these days no better than an unmoderated outpouring of bile, from so many quarters. much more than it was say six months or so ago. Big football nights are the worst, or late weekend nights

I would like to discuss this, not argue, but how do you view MANTIS well-reasoned view, that "it's just a comment", then?

I appreciated his reply, & don't want to diss him at all, & I have to say that maybe Neil knows me better, but I thought that Neil absolutely nailed it.

I wish this convo was about others, & I was an impartial observer, because it fascinates so.

I suppose, broadly, it breaks into an age gap, or generation, thing.

Personally, I don't take the view that something so nasty is "just a comment". I don't think I get as down as you about it though, but I would classify us both on the sensitive side as per our feelings when these sort of incidences occur. Idiots will be idiots whatever platform they post on

 

[tikay]

I reported the comment to facebook. Blatant racism and disgusting, even if it was fuelled by drink or whatever, that being this individual's modus operandi going back 5 or 6 years.

However I have reported stuff to facebook before and never had a single response from them, so I've no idea if it is worth anything.

facebook is these days no better than an unmoderated outpouring of bile, from so many quarters. much more than it was say six months or so ago. Big football nights are the worst, or late weekend nights

Yes, & almost a total lack of common decency, & respect for others. Which used to be something, but, perhaps, not so now, society has changed.

How often do you see positive stuff on there? It's just "knock" all the time. "Knocking" does not need a brain though, being constructive does.

All very perplexing, & I guess older people see it different. But I know hundreds of people who are on Facebook, & are sound, decent, people. The idiots seem to shout louder, I suppose. I'm still surprised that not one person objected to the comment, which says a lot about my over-sensitivity, I suppose. I did not, either. Or have not, yet, I'm still wrestling with that decision. I expect I'll wimp out, & probably just as well.

I think my period must be imminent.

Brighton tonight, I think. Happy days, all good.

[MANTIS01]

Racism is a mentality it is not a comment. You cannot automatically piece the two together to form a definitive opinion that somebody is a racist. You can certainly make a comment that includes racial overtones but your motivation could just as easily come from hoping to cause max hurt rather than to discriminate. I would suggest that if the enemy is looking to cause hurt then being hurt is to be defeated.

[Acidmouse]

Can I ask who was the persons blonde username who made this comment? I would be the same as you, disappointing that no one pulled him up over their remark, just delete them from FB and the people with no spine to say owt on his and your friends list.