Vegas & The Aftermath - Diary

[Simon Galloway]

So....errr....well, can anyone assist me here? I know sfa about Burns, though I seem to recall he was a poet or a painter. And a Scot, maybe?

A pint owed if you slip this one in..

Tony Blair is opening a new hospital in Edinburgh. Some PR bright spark says it would be a good idea to get some snaps of Tony talking with some of the patients, so a consultant duly leads Tony onto the nearest ward.

Up at the first bed, the patient sits bolt upright in bed, grabs Blair's arm and says:
"Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, Wi' bickering brattle!"

Quickly onto the next bed where the patient stares Blair up and down and says:
"Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm:"

Finally the last bed where the patient, with eyeballs whizzing round and round says:
"Ha! whare ye gaun' ye crowlin ferlie? Your impudence protects you sairly;
I canna say but ye strunt rarely Owre gauze and lace,"

Blair has finally had enough and turns on the consultant: "It's a stitch up, you've brought me onto a psychiatric ward deliberately!"

"No," replies the consultant, "this is the Serious Burns Unit."

[TightEnd]

Brilliant!!!

[Bainn]

So....errr....well, can anyone assist me here? I know sfa about Burns, though I seem to recall he was a poet or a painter. And a Scot, maybe?

A pint owed if you slip this one in..

Tony Blair is opening a new hospital in Edinburgh. Some PR bright spark says it would be a good idea to get some snaps of Tony talking with some of the patients, so a consultant duly leads Tony onto the nearest ward.

Up at the first bed, the patient sits bolt upright in bed, grabs Blair's arm and says:
"Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, Wi' bickering brattle!"

Quickly onto the next bed where the patient stares Blair up and down and says:
"Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm:"

Finally the last bed where the patient, with eyeballs whizzing round and round says:
"Ha! whare ye gaun' ye crowlin ferlie? Your impudence protects you sairly;
I canna say but ye strunt rarely Owre gauze and lace,"

Blair has finally had enough and turns on the consultant: "It's a stitch up, you've brought me onto a psychiatric ward deliberately!"

"No," replies the consultant, "this is the Serious Burns Unit."

"Leaf" it to Tony, he is a professional.....

[Karabiner]

Great story Simon, as for the rest of you...

You're all barking mad

[Bainn]

Great story Simon, as for the rest of you...

You're all barking mad

I "Sap-pose" you think that was funny....

[Rod Paradise]

I'd go with the joke from Simon.

A couple of wee daft facts to make you sound like you have half a clue what you're talking about. The Cutty Sark is named after a witch in Tam O'Shanter. (Gets you onto boats - so probably will lead to a train story)

Burns was a tax man (excise man)

[boldie]

I'd go with the joke from Simon.

A couple of wee daft facts to make you sound like you have half a clue what you're talking about. The Cutty Sark is named after a witch in Tam O'Shanter. (Gets you onto boats - so probably will lead to a train story)

Burns was a tax man (excise man)

WOw..and TK is a taxing man (to talk to) he can say he has a lot in common with Burns.

[tikay]

In an earlier Post today, I said this......

"Poker players never cease to amaze me".

And that's both ways - good & bad.

Here's a lovely - & totally true - story, that's gone off today. For more reasons that you may perhaps realise, this made me very happy indeed. 

I had a PM from Ian Cox - blondeite "crapper". He said - & pardon me if I omit some personal details -the following.

"......my usual sponsors for the TV events that I play are not sponsoring players for the upcoming European Open.

I have bought into this event myself and am offering to represent and promote Blonde free of charge, if you have a suitable XL shirt for me to wear with a logo of not larger than 6 inches squared and it may read .net but not .co.uk nor .com.

I am happy to promote Blonde on this occasion as I value the site and see it as a way of giving back something for the excellent free updates that you provide for us members.

If you are interested, then kindly message me back and I shall forward my address to you for the posting of a suitable shirt...."

Well, how about THAT?
 
So, I wrote back, gratefully, as you'd imagine. And I asked him if he minded if I made this known, in my Diary. He replied.....

"....As for you mentioning it in your diary, then there really is no need to publicise this, as I just thought that as I was not being sponsored on this occasion, then it was just a waste if I didn't use the TV time to do something useful when it was no trouble to me. I obviously have no objections to you mentioning it in your diary if you really wish to, but it honestly makes no difference to me whether you do or don't.

Best regards,

Ian...."

I don't know Ian that well, we bump into each other at Comps from time to time, & I've interviewed him twice, I think, for Poker Week etc. He was at Brighton last weekend, & we chatted for a bit, just this & that. And I introduced him to Red, who's he's been playing with on Laddies for years, but they've never met before. And they started chatting away big time.

I'm absolutely made up about this, what a top bloke. All I really know about him is what I learned from interviewing him - he's a Sports Better by trade, but his cashes to Tourneys ratio in poker is massive.

I hope he wins the European Open, & plenty else besides.

On behalf of all at blonde, thanks Ian.

[KarmaDope]

This doesn't surprise me, I've had the pleasure of chatting to Ian at various GUKPT's and he's definitely a top bloke, like that Thewy guy...

[tikay]

For the Burns suggestions, particularly Simon & Rod, my thanks.

Can I assume that Tom O'Shanter is a Burns Poem?

[The_duke]

And I bet I can get it through. I'll start with this gem, one of my favourite Burns odes.

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

 

At the risk of being laughed at and this was a spoof -- isn't this from a certain Mr Kipling

[RED-DOG]

And I bet I can get it through. I'll start with this gem, one of my favourite Burns odes.

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

 

At the risk of being laughed at and this was a spoof -- isn't this from a certain Mr Kipling

Yes. he also makes exceedingly small cakes, the stingy old bastard.

[bobby1]

And I bet I can get it through. I'll start with this gem, one of my favourite Burns odes.

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

 

At the risk of being laughed at and this was a spoof -- isn't this from a certain Mr Kipling

yes, he made exceedingly good cakes too

[gatso]

On behalf of all at blonde, thanks Ian.

wp Ian 

[tikay]

And I bet I can get it through. I'll start with this gem, one of my favourite Burns odes.

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

 

At the risk of being laughed at and this was a spoof -- isn't this from a certain Mr Kipling

Oh no - are you sure about that?