Vegas & The Aftermath - Diary

[b4matt]

The Times, Saturday January 26th, 2008.

"A hoard of more than a hundred false legs found in the cellar of a retired taxi driver in Dorset last August has been donated to victims of the earthquake that hit Pakistan in 2005......"

It wasn't their main present, just a stocking filler.

LOL...the best by a long way so far.

Personally, i think all these false linb jokes are prosthetic.

I just hope there was a matching pair for the guy who has no legs... he's been arse'ing about for years..

[Card_Shark]

The Times, Saturday January 26th, 2008.

"A hoard of more than a hundred false legs found in the cellar of a retired taxi driver in Dorset last August has been donated to victims of the earthquake that hit Pakistan in 2005......"

It wasn't their main present, just a stocking filler.

LOL...the best by a long way so far.

Personally, i think all these false linb jokes are prosthetic.

I just hope there was a matching pair for the guy who has no legs... he's been arse'ing about for years..

The taxi driver has been pondering over what to give them next year.....unfortunately he's stumped!

[TightEnd]

I think some of you need to be taken down a peg or two

[thetank]

Pakistan or Pakifallover?

[tikay]

OK, after what seems like (indeed is) two weeks on the road, real hardcore hedonism, this is my first day at home, & I've slept most of it. I planned to go to Luton tonight, but I was just too tired, & went to bed instead. So, time to get some Diary entries done.

First up, I saw a sentence today that used the words "and" five consecutive times. Is this a record? It concerned a Pub Landlord - fictitious I assume - who refused to pay his signwriter for re-writing the pub sign, the "Dog & Duck".

When asked why, he complained...

"There is too much space between Dog and and and and and Duck".

[RED-DOG]

OK guys, we've finished with legs, we're on ands now.

[tikay]

Too much of a good thing?

Sometimes in poker, the cards fall just too good, & it's tough to get paid.

Playing Super-Stud last night, I was dealt 5 spades - that's pretty rare. (We were only 3 handed in this game, so cards could not get "shuffled back" into the pack).

I threw two away, as I'm obliged to, and my next 4 "up-cards" were all Spades. Even rarer.

My 7th & final "down-card" was a spade, too. More rarerer.

And to cap it all, amongst my seven spades, I had a Straight Flush, to the King, the two stragglers being the 6 & 7.

I won the High (there's a thing....) & Mick McCool won the low. The Pot was about £905 (this was a £5-£5 game), we chopped it & got about £450 each, less Rake. So we both made a small loss.

NH, WP, GG.

At Luton on Saturday, in a Cash-Game, we saw a flop of A-A-A. Checked all round. Turn came the 7, & it's bet by one player, & called by 4 more. There's much joshing about how many Aces are in the Pack, & who's bluffing who, & all the usual pot-stealers are involved, looking as innocent as they can.

The River was.......an A

Live Poker is so rigged.

[tikay]

OK guys, we've finished with legs, we're on ands now.

Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Tom. I thought I'd try & quell this pun-ism that's broken out, so decided a quick change of subject was in order, to beat the Punsters.

If indeed the Puns do re-emerge, consider this to be War. Diary War.

[gatso]

James and John both wrote a sentence, for their English class. John wrote "Father had had his breakfast". James wrote "Father had his breakfast". For their composition, James got 7/10. John got 8/10
So, John, where James had had 'had', had had 'had had'. 'Had had' had had the better mark.

[thetank]

Good job James and John weren't called Brad and Chad or I wouldn't be able to understand what the hell gatso was on about.

[tikay]

I have a very quiet week in prospect, & plan to catch up on all sorts of stuff that I've got behind with. I dare not open my PM Box, I have over 20 still awaiting replies, & my apologies to those who have not yet received a reply.

I cancelled my planned outing to Luton tonight, I'm just feeling woosy & washed up.

The Diary is empty on Tuesday & Wednesday, & I'm doing the Sky Show on both Thursday & Friday, the latter being the Sky Signature Tourney, Primo, & we have Lucy Rokach lined up as our Pro Guest, along with one other, Ali Masterman I think. It's something of a notch in my Belt to get the Primo Show again, it's THE Show the Sky Presenters & Analysts all vie for. We don't get to pick & choose what Shows we get, we just signal our availability to Sky for the Month - two months in advance, & you take what you are allocated. In my case, with much relief & gratitude. Given that we have to put in our availability two months in advance, it's little wonder I seem to have so many Tourneys that I cannot play, as Poker Tourney Info is rarely available that much in advance. Still, it saves me money & makes me money, at the same time, & I enjoy both equally. Win-Win if ever I saw it.

I'll stay over in London on Thursday night, no point coming back up to Derbyshire & then straight back down again, so I've scheduled a meeting with Joe Legge, at Virgin's Hammersmith Headquarters, to discuss their upcoming Virgin Fessie in Newcastle. This one will be much easier than the first, as we've done the groundwork, & established the format.

I'll trundle back home after the Friday night Show, & then it's DTD for their £300 on Saturday, which I'm lookimg forward to immensely - more for the craic than anything else, the place will be blonde-heavy. And, one never knows, I may even make Day Two, Sunday. Stranger things have happened, but not much, on my current form. I keep making unforced errors, & I need to get my head sorted out. I did it again last night, in the DTD £100, but that's another story.

As to the last few weeks, I've just tried to reconstruct where I've been & what I've done, & it's amazing, & no wonder I'm so bloody tired. I really do need to start behaving a bit more sensibly.

[thetank]

If indeed the Puns do re-emerge, consider this to be War.

Will we have hostility over an equivoque? Or just a minor quarrel over a quibble?

[tikay]

My last fortnight.

Tuesday 15th.

Picked up Tom from his place at about Noon, & we drove down to Brighton. Took 2 hours from Gatwick to Brighton, a distance of about 20 miles, after torrential rain flooded the road. Busted early, due to getting my head in a mess after Passing Aces to Jacks on a 5-5-3 flop. Won a few bob in the Hold 'Em Cash, then spent an hour in Dealers Choice geting tuition - genuine tuition, not a beating - from Lord Wernick. Priceless. He & Jim McShane have taught me so much about the mixed format Dealers Choice games, & I've improved to the point where if I get much better, I'll be hopeless. I finished as soon as Tom busted out of the Comp, & we drove back up to Heathrow immediately, to the waiting Bridal Suite. Sheesh.

Wednesday 16th

Up at 8am (what?) for a 9am meet, we had to meet some folks off an inbound flight, we had the Meet for about 3 hours, & then Tom & I drove back to Brighton, having a lovely mooch on the way - one of the nicest afternoons I can remember in a very long while. Two fellas, one very old, one very plump, & we put the world to rights. Determined to play better than the previous night, I dodged the bullets big time, got lucky once, & Finalled, getting sucked out in a big pot for a grateful 7th or 8th I think. After the Tuesday farce, I was as pleased as Punch. Left Brighton, after dropping Tom off at his Hotel, at 4am, & was home by 7 - not bad for a 200 mile trip.

Thursday 17th

Up at midday, caught up on two days e-Mails, & went to DTD in the evening, won nicely, but was up until 6am, & not in bed until 7am.

Friday 18th

Luton in the Evening, for the Cash, stayed at the Days Inn, got to bed at 7am.

Saturday 19th

Drove down to Feltham from Luton, did the Sky Show in the Evening, & then straight down to Hickstead, in Sussex (10 mins from Brighton) where I stayed at a lovely little country hotel.

Sunday 20th.

Staggeringly tired, I drove the short hop to Brighton for some TV work, just me & a cameraman, had to be there at 2pm, & was there until about 3am the next morning. Saw all that timber on the Beach, & had the most wonderful day watching Thewy take down his second GUKPT in 6 months. My impending sleep bankruptcy was catching up on me though, & I fell asleep in the Grosvenor twice. After, I drove back to the Hickstead Hotel. No time on the internet when I got there, fell into bed happily exhausted.

Monday 21st

Had a quiet morning with the ducks & geese at Hickstead, & could not face the 4 hour (during the day) trek to Derbyshire, so booked into the Luton Days Inn as a sort of halfway stopover & played cash all night.

Tuesday 22nd

Totally shattered, I slept from 9am (when I had got home from Luton) until 9pm. Woke up & could not figure out what day it was, went to take a look at my e-Mails & only then remembered I had an APAT Conference Call booked with Des Duffy & Rich booked for 9pm. Oops.....Rung Des, apologised, & he updated me as to what had been discussed. APAT is going very well indeed, Des has so many strings to his bow, & APAT will just get stronger & stronger. Whether I can continue to keep up with him & Rich is another matter, I hate not doing my share of things, but the truth is, I can't cope with everything any more. I still enjoy all the "front desk" stuff, but the office work is so heavy.

Wednesday 23rd

Did the Sky Show, & then drove back to Luton, played cash until 6am, & then back down the M1 to the Scratchwood Services Days Inn, (Luton Days In was full) in readiness for the Luton £250 on Thursday.

Thursday 24th

Played the Luton £250, huge fun, but unable to make it through to Day Two, just as well as it turned out. Stayed at the M1 Scratchwood Services Days Inn, (which turned out to be a good thing) as too tired to drive home. Compo, who had been working, spent the afternoon with me in my Hotel Room, & we watched the Racing fom Dubai. He tipped 4 losers...... We then drove up to Luton

Friday 25th.

Awoken by a call from Sky, could I do that night's show, as the booked analyst had rung in sick? Delighted to, but needed to sort my head out first. That meant I would not play the Friday £500, or the Saturday £750. So be it. Kept my Days Inn room for another night, & poodled across to Feltham, where we did a splendid Show, all down to the sheer Professionalism that Richard Orford always delivers. He's special.

Saturday 26th

Did the Sky Show again - 3 in 4 nights is as good financially as winning a little comp! -  & stopped off at Luton on the way home & played Cash untl chucking out time. Played badly, & lost £1,500 early, losing a big pot to Mick McCool when his Kings bested my Aces & nut flush draw, but pulled £900 back later, thank goodness, thanks to winning a huge Pot against Jim Reid, who always seems to get unlucky against me in Omaha Cash, the hand was nut flush draw v flopped trips, turned flush, & it played itself, no skill needed. Went straight home afterwards, & introduced myself to Angell. Compo had chopped the £500 earlier, happy days. Got home at 8am, Posted the Luton Main Event Overnights, & that was that, off to bed where I "died".

Sunday 27th.

Suffering fom a severe adrenelin hangover. Every Sky Show gives me a huge adrenelin surge, but for every up there's a down, & three Shows in 4 days caught up with me a bit, & I slept all day. TV work is incredibly exciting, especailly if it's "Live", & with each Sky Show being 3 hours plus, it takes some energy, but it's very easy, because adrenelin does the job & keep me hyped. Until the inevitable hangover the next day. I've done over 70 Sky Shows "Live" now, & at 3+ hours each, it takes some doing to waffle for 200 hours without ever swearing, getting out of line with innuendos or whatever, (Sky have strict guidelines as to what we can & cannot say & do), & yet still keeping each show "fresh" & lively as I'm able. I try to look at the camera & imagine I am actually speaking to a friend, one to one as it were. I am really very proud that I've hung onto that Sky number for so long, & I'm not ashamed to admit it. I just wish Dad were still here, I thought about him on Saturday when I was at Sky, & just so wished he could be here with me sometimes. He'd be so proud. Went to DTD in the evening, which was a bit of a strange evening, one way & another, more of which later.

Today.

Slept until 2pm, did 2 or 3 hours work, e-Mails & blonde, then cancelled my Luton trip, tooooo tired, & went back to bed. Thewey had awoken me, he was at the Airport on his way to Dortmund, & rung fom the Airport to discuss some stuff, good luck him. Compo rang next, "how did Red get on at Walsall?" he asked. I said I had not heard, but in fact, my head was all over the place, & I think Red told me last night he'd cashed for £1,700. I really can't remember, ffs. Then Chili ring, we had originally considered going to Luton together tonight, "you must be mad to even consider Luton tonight" said Mrs Nagpuss this afternoon. I ignored her, made plans to go to Luton, then thought bugger it, I'm going to bed". And I did. Oh, the joy of being free & independent, & doing what I want, when I want. As long as one is sensible, which is where the problem lies.....It's explainable. 40 years enslaved at work, & now I'm like a kid in a sweet factory, I can't get enough of doing what I want. And I'm loving every second of it. And what a wonderful week for my friends & many blondes, at Brighton, Luton & Walsall, and even though I've not done too well myself, I'll settle for that.

PS - Compo just called, I missed the call, but rung him straight back, happy, because I'm a tad low after some behind-the-scenes shit, & it's lovely to speak to special pals. "Sorry, I rung you by mistake" said the Fish. Sigh. He's off to Dubai tomorrow night, back on Friday night, & working on Saturday until 5pm, thence straight up to DTD for the £300, so I must remember to buy him in. Bet I forget......

[Ironside]

remind compo i owe him dinner

[tikay]

I played the £100 at DTD on Sunday night, & as one dayers go, this is beautifully structured, & why it gets so few Runners is a mystery to me. About 60 played last night, & in fact, this was the quietest night I've yet seen at DTD. I chatted with Rob & Nick for a while, & I think they are equally perplexed as to the low (relatively) Sunday Turnouts.

Even the Cash Games were quiet last night, far less than usual, & the 2nd DC Game, in which I sat for most of the evening, only had 4 or 5 runners most of the evening. My seat on the Main DC Game became available, but I turned it down, as to take it would have broken our Table, & my table companions did the same, deciding to stay put. Perhaps they realised they had the Value on their table......Latif eventually moved across, taking a break in between, leaving Faizal, Ben Vinson (who abandoned ship early), Mick McCool & myself to grind it out 3 handed. Quite enjoyable actually, I love short-handed, you get more action, but the Rake cripples the Game if you ae playing Split Pot Stuff, which we stubbornly continued to do. Eventually, 3 seats came open on the Main Game, & we all shuffled over. The short-handed Game was quite interesting, too, & the money just went round in circles mainly, & we swapped a laugh or two, & all paid for rounds of drinks for each other. Very pleasant, though I was not fully au fait at the time of earlier, slightly sinister developments on the ether.

Anyway, back to the £100, & the pace that players play at DTD continues to amaze me, they must play "faster" & looser than anywhere in the UK. It's a puzzle to crack, adjust your game to suit, do the opposite to the Table sorta thing, but thus far, either I've been unlucky, outplayed, or just pain daft, as I've only Cashed twice there, though I have only played 6 or 7 Comps there. Maybe they are just better than I think.

I had a lovely Table last night, bar one guy, & I'd like to thank them all (except him) for making it so enjoyable. Mr MardyBum - I don't think tht's his real name, I made it up - displayed quite appalling etiquette, time after time. With the action finished, it's on their backs, but he refused to turn his cards over, often, for up to 40 or 45 seconds. Scrutinising his Oppo's face-up hand, then the Board, then - secretly - his own still concealed hand, before, eventually, tabling his winner with a flourish. He got in a huge pot with a local called Dennis, who is wholly inoffensive. Mr Mardy puts Denis all-in (an absolutely massive overbet) on the 3-4-3-5 turn, & Dennis agonised for an age, before eventually making a great call for his Tourney with Nines. Dennis tabled his Nines immediately - even though he was the caller, not the better, & then Mr Mardy (the bettor) gave it the 40 second ritual, whilst poor Dennis had no idea whether his hand was good or not. Eventually, our Man tables A-8, & the fact that the deuce rivered only rubbed salt into the wound. Mr MardyBum did not do it deliberately, he just did not understand etiquette, or human decency, & attempts to explain such niceties to him only resulted in blank looks. When it's "on their backs" any half-decent player should table their cards instantly, there's no need or reason to wait, or to first decide if you like what you see, but this is an increasing trend, the "I'll not turn over until I'm ready" thing. I'd have them shot. At dawn, too.

We had a player who made THE oddest bets, but it worked - all except once - though by then, he'd amassed a very considerable stack with his unorthodox play.

He moved all-in 10 or 12 times early doors, & nobody had the goods or sphericals to take him on, great squeeze plays sometimes, too, fair play to him.

It was almost always the same bet, though it raised some eyebrows the first few times. With Blinds at 100-200, he'd say "two with four", or just "with four", meaning, everyone assumed, the first time, 200 with 400. Wrong. It was 200 with 4,000!

But suspicions were becoming aroused, & he got well & truly exposed when he did it to an early Position Raiser (who had Aces!) & then found even more action behind, now Aces man goes all-in, & our friend quickly called for 9,000 chips. (In Level Two, Blinds 50-100, we began with 5k). His hand? Q-T.

Eventually, the inevitable happened. Blinds are 150-300 (25 running ante), & our friend made it a massive, eye-watering 6,000! Sat behind, though, was a young lad with 25k, & Aces, & he moved the lot in sharpish. An Insta-Call was made, this is a 50k Pot, & it had to be Aces v Kings or Queens, nothing else. He Tabled A-J.......

I just fiffed & faffed, nicked one or two, & just tried to tread water on Average Chips until I could find some material to work with. I got caught once, but that "image" served me well, & I got doubled up with Jacks shortly after, after I delierately overbet it to get our Friend involved, & he obliged.

I then slipped to 4.5k - way, way, sub-average, but with this structure, & Blinds now 200-400, that's OK, I can maneouvre with that, but by now, I'm hearing weird & unpleasant stories from the world & his wife (about a non-poker matter), & my concentration must have slipped a little, because I made a shocking play with AK. I made it 1,400 to go, leaving 2,800 behind, & Mr Rockety-Rock behind me, without hesitation, shoved for the lot. I could & should have got off my hand, I could manage with 2,800 I reckon, with some luck, but I insta-called without thinking properly, & that was that, his Kings - deservedly - held good.

I really need to cut out these mistakes. But, as ever, I'll play a Blinder in my next Tourney, trust me. I need that slap round the chops now & then to keep me on my game, it does not come natural to me, this poker thing, but if I huff & puff, I get by.