Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary

[RED-DOG]

On the way to dtd last night I left the motorway at junction 24 and was poodling along the A453 when I came up behind a dark coloured BMW doing about 33MPH in a 40 zone. At first I thought it was tk, but looking closely I could see no chip papers or empty coffee cups, (at least not above seat level) so I knew it couldn't be him.

The road ahead was clear, there was no oncoming traffic, so I overtook the Beemer. As soon as I did, he activated the blue light hidden behind the grille of his unmarked car and switched on his siren. I heaved a long, world weary-sigh and pulled over.

I am never, ever rude to the police, (or to anyone else I hope) but on this occasion, for some strange reason, I did sail a bit close to the wind.

Him: In a hurry are we sir?

Me: Well I am, I don't know about you.

Him: Oh, a bit of a comedian are we?

Me: We could be, if we were, which bit would you be? Don't tell me, let me guess...

Him: Very funny sir, would you like to take a seat in the back of my car?

At this point I came to my senses and back pedalled for all I was worth. With much boot licking and forelock tugging, I got away with a warning, and a bit paper telling me to produce my documents at a police station of my choice within 7 days.

Phew!

[NoflopsHomer]

Tom, there's only one thing the police hate more than crime, and it's sarcasm.

[RED-DOG]

The tournament was, for me, something of a curate's egg. Viz. Good and bad in places.

The good mostly related to the venue, the structure, and the people in attendance. (blondes in general, blonde girls in particular)

The bad was my play. I made all the right moves, at all the wrong times.

I arrived at about 6:45 and the place was buzzing. Loads of blondes and various other "Faces" I went straight to the cash desk to reg, and tk immediately grassed me up to Danny, (aka Yogi Bear) for saying he has a face that could turn milk sour. Danny laughed and shrugged his shoulders, but I don't think I will be asking him for a ruling any time soon.

Then I went to the bar and ordered a pot of tea. Tony sidled up and cleared his throat. I can take a hint, I ordered him one too. Compo arrived all out of breath, shook my hand, and called a waiter. Then, hand on heart, I kid you not. He ordered an empty cup so that he could have a brew out of my pot.

I spent a lovely 10 minutes chatting with Jim "Bookiebasher" Moult, who very kindly gave me lift home from Brighton. Jim is a real salt of the earth, WYSIWYG kind of bloke. He and I rub along just fine.

I also spent some time talking to the gorgeous, and aptly named Mandy Fox (The girl who outlasted me on the ft at Walsall last week) and her large, intimidating, jealous looking boyfriend, who's name I can't remember.

I could have stayed in the bar area all night. Drinking tea, chatting, and peeking beneath those monstrously high tables at Claw and Tantrum's legs, but Mr Trumpers no nonsense voice crackled firmly from the tannoy, "Would all players in tonight's poker competition please take their seats, the tournament is about to start".

[sovietsong]

Just read this from start to finish, absolute brilliance.  TY red.

[fidget]

Same here. You right really well mate

[RED-DOG]

By the time I looked at the draw on the plasma, almost everyone else was already seated. I quickly took my place only to for Simon Trumper to fish me out again and march me back to the screen.

Do you know your name?
Yes.
What is it?
Tom McCready.
Are you sure?
Yes.
OK. Follow me.

I am escorted to my rightful table, as I take my seat I look around and see a few familiar faces. On the very first hand, I get involved.

I can't remember the hand exactly, I just know that I had top pair on a Q high, two diamond flop. The third diamond comes on the river, and I pay to see someone's 10 high flush. The tournament is one hand old, and I am 1000 chips down.

I win my 1000 back when I limp with 8 9 and see a flop of A 9 7. I bet out for 700 and Con, “The Dazzling Cornelius” Cronin flat calls. I hate his flat call. I’ve tangled with Con many many times and the one thing I’ve learned is that it is impossible to put him on a hand. The turn brought another 9 and I risked a bet of 700 hoping it would look weak and cause him to come over the top if he had the A, but Con is a crafty old bird and he smelled the rat and passed.

After that, my short-lived tournament consisted of 2 badly played hands, 1 outdraw and one desperate push. That’s it

I had really been looking forward to this tourney. I loved the structure, and I so wanted to do well. But things don’t happen just because you want them to, the truth is, I played like a donkey and I got what I deserved.


I do have a couple of things to add, not about the tourney per se but about the people who attended.

First though, it's weigh day again. Ooer! I think I may have to eat a little humble pie. (I've eaten everything else this weekend)

[RED-DOG]

Well I've fallen off the wagon more times than an oversize wheel rim, but today my diet re-starts in earnest.

No longer will my name be mentioned alongside such bloaters as tikay, Chili, Dewi Cool, Rod Paradise et al. The new svelte Red starts here.

Now, if you will excuse me for a moment, I'm just going too weigh myself. I will report my starting weight, and my new, lower weight every Monday.

15st 1lb 

Smoke me a lettuce.....

I think Tom, to be fair, a man of your not inconsiderable girtrh ought to be able to lose a stone or so quite quickly. The first 4 stone should be easy. It'll become tougher once you get down to the upper 13 stone region - my weight, as it happens.

14st 11lb at to day's weigh in, thats a loss of 4lb.

Read it and weep, fat boy!

14st 12lb, a 1lb gain.

I'm so disappointed with myself, I can't tell you.

I used to be able to drop a few pounds when ever I wanted to, but this time it's been really difficult.

I will do it though, I really will.

Watch this space....

[tikay]

Well I've fallen off the wagon more times than an oversize wheel rim, but today my diet re-starts in earnest.

No longer will my name be mentioned alongside such bloaters as tikay, Chili, Dewi Cool, Rod Paradise et al. The new svelte Red starts here.

Now, if you will excuse me for a moment, I'm just going too weigh myself. I will report my starting weight, and my new, lower weight every Monday.

15st 1lb 

Smoke me a lettuce.....

I think Tom, to be fair, a man of your not inconsiderable girtrh ought to be able to lose a stone or so quite quickly. The first 4 stone should be easy. It'll become tougher once you get down to the upper 13 stone region - my weight, as it happens.

14st 11lb at to day's weigh in, thats a loss of 4lb.

Read it and weep, fat boy!

14st 12lb, a 1lb gain.

I'm so disappointed with myself, I can't tell you.

I used to be able to drop a few pounds when ever I wanted to, but this time it's been really difficult.

I will do it though, I really will.

Watch this space....

Hang in there Tom. I need to do one, too, but I have to get my head right first. It'll be soon, I hope, & we'll have a little wager, you & me. Not too much, as I don't want to take your money really.

Start afresh, you'll get there. I blame Mrs Red for leaving you alone with temptation in the form of a Fray Bentos S & K Pie. And DTD brekkies.

[sovietsong]

I once set up a weight loss challenge at work.  6 of us were involved, we all posted 30 squid and had a month to lose the most weight (we had loads of rules on % loss etc but i wont bore you).  Anyway it became clear that only 3 of us stood a chance.  About a week to go and i had lost about 3/4 of a stone.  i thought i was in with a good shout.  I was doing everything i could to lose weight what i didnt know and only found out on the final day of the challenge was one of the competitors had been taking ethergen and lost about 3 stone!  wp gg.  risked his health for 180 quid...

[RED-DOG]

I took this pic of a waterhen from my window this morning.

you usually only see them this close when they are on the water, or flitting about in the reeds on the opposite bank of a stream.

I watched it for about half an hour. It cheered me up no end.

[AndrewT]

I watched it for about half an hour. It cheered me up no end.

Ah, did Mrs Red have a headache this morning?

[RED-DOG]

I watched it for about half an hour. It cheered me up no end.

Ah, did Mrs Red have a headache this morning?

I can multi-task.

[The_nun]

May I ask what you were doing with your camera in your hand whilst being friendly with Mrs Red?.

[RED-DOG]

May I ask what you were doing with your camera in your hand whilst being friendly with Mrs Red?.

Photographing a waterhen.

[tikay]

I took this pic of a waterhen from my window this morning.

you usually only see them this close when they are on the water, or flitting about in the reeds on the opposite bank of a stream.

I watched it for about half an hour. It cheered me up no end.

That's beautiful Tom. It's a Moorhen, and I think "waterhen" is a generic term for all such birds - Moorhen, Common Moorhen, Coots, etc. (And yes, I've looked it up in my splendidly illustrated copy of "RSPB - Birds of Britain & Europe"). Very territorial am Moorhens. Has Kizzy shown interest in the Hen yet?