Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary

[Laxie]

How's the back this morning?  You've not mentioned it yet.

Oh I don't like to complain.....  but, since you ask, it feels like the Brighouse and Rastrick brass band have been clog dancing on it.

Would it be rude to ask what brought on this back pain?

[RED-DOG]

Tom - the Lottery, which costs you £2 a week. (Worry not, 68p of that goes into the Prize Fund).

And you wrote of Omaha Flips at DTD, for, I think, £25 a go.

Both of those, for you, seem an utter & total contradiction, so incongrous with your character. You are not a pisser-away-of-money.

Now, as Rory Breaker might say, would you care to enlighten us?

1: It was just a pure, out and out gamble for a pre-determined amount. just for the heck of it.

2 : I was getting a fair price for the Omaha flips. 8/1 for an 8/1 shot.

3: I flopped quads FFS.

4: The guys at the lottery rip me off every week.

5: So do the players at DTD, but at least they make me laugh in the process.

6: I think I was +EV against Jakally.

[RED-DOG]

How's the back this morning?  You've not mentioned it yet.

Oh I don't like to complain.....  but, since you ask, it feels like the Brighouse and Rastrick brass band have been clog dancing on it.

Would it be rude to ask what brought on this back pain?

It's a long, boring, salmagundi of a story, flavored with just a soupçon of embarrassment. You really wouldn't want to hear it.

[Laxie]

How's the back this morning?  You've not mentioned it yet.

Oh I don't like to complain.....  but, since you ask, it feels like the Brighouse and Rastrick brass band have been clog dancing on it.

Would it be rude to ask what brought on this back pain?

It's a long, boring, salmagundi of a story, flavored with just a soupçon of embarrassment. You really wouldn't want to hear it.

Yes I do.  Carry on and I promise not to laugh.

[RED-DOG]

How's the back this morning?  You've not mentioned it yet.

Oh I don't like to complain.....  but, since you ask, it feels like the Brighouse and Rastrick brass band have been clog dancing on it.

Would it be rude to ask what brought on this back pain?

It's a long, boring, salmagundi of a story, flavored with just a soupçon of embarrassment. You really wouldn't want to hear it.

Yes I do.  Carry on and I promise not to laugh.

OK. I'll tell it when I get a minute. (All kids/grandkids coming today, Mrs Red says I have to shave)

It really is boring though so don't say I didn't warn you.

[Laxie]

How's the back this morning?  You've not mentioned it yet.

Oh I don't like to complain.....  but, since you ask, it feels like the Brighouse and Rastrick brass band have been clog dancing on it.

Would it be rude to ask what brought on this back pain?

It's a long, boring, salmagundi of a story, flavored with just a soupçon of embarrassment. You really wouldn't want to hear it.

Yes I do.  Carry on and I promise not to laugh.

OK. I'll tell it when I get a minute. (All kids/grandkids coming today, Mrs Red says I have to shave)

It really is boring though so don't say I didn't warn you.

I'm sure the embarrassing bit will counteract the boredom.

You'd better shave.  Wouldn't want to cross Mrs. Red.  'Know yer limits' and all that.

Hugs to the lot today!  xx

[RED-DOG]

How's the back this morning?  You've not mentioned it yet.

Oh I don't like to complain.....  but, since you ask, it feels like the Brighouse and Rastrick brass band have been clog dancing on it.

Would it be rude to ask what brought on this back pain?

It's a long, boring, salmagundi of a story, flavored with just a soupçon of embarrassment. You really wouldn't want to hear it.

Yes I do.  Carry on and I promise not to laugh.

OK. I'll tell it when I get a minute. (All kids/grandkids coming today, Mrs Red says I have to shave)

It really is boring though so don't say I didn't warn you.

I'm sure the embarrassing bit will counteract the boredom.

You'd better shave.  Wouldn't want to cross Mrs. Red.  'Know yer limits' and all that.

Hugs to the lot today!  xx

Will you settle for cliff-notes? I have time for that.

[tikay]

How's the back this morning?  You've not mentioned it yet.

Oh I don't like to complain.....  but, since you ask, it feels like the Brighouse and Rastrick brass band have been clog dancing on it.

Would it be rude to ask what brought on this back pain?

It's a long, boring, salmagundi of a story, flavored with just a soupçon of embarrassment. You really wouldn't want to hear it.

Ooooh!

[Laxie]

Go on then.  Cliff notes will do for now.  You can fill in the blanks later.

[RED-DOG]

Go on then.  Cliff notes will do for now.  You can fill in the blanks later.

Mrs Red gives me earache about how peeps are kicking lumps out of the furniture with their big clod-hoppers. (Actually a few tiny scuffs, invisible to the naked eye)

I devise a solution which involves attaching strips of perspex to vulnerable corners. It's a master-stroke. The clear perspex is almost undetectable to the naked eye. I'm knee deep in brownie points.

Problem.

The perspex is invisible, but whatever I use to fix it in place stands out like a sore thumb. Somewhere, in the dark recesses of my mind, I think I recall seeing some uPVC nails with a tan coloured head that would match the furniture.

Next day, I extend my bike ride to include a visit to a uPVC windows & doors place. They don't sell tan head nails, but they direct me to a place that does. It's about 6 miles away, I decide to go on the bike.

Halfway there, I realise that if I cross the river Soar, I can save about 2 miles.

There is no bridge, but there are stepping stones. I hoist the bike on to my shoulder.

After a couple of strides, I step on to a slimy stone and begin my very own version of that game from Takeshi's Castle.

Midway, I lose my leg plaiting battle with gravity and plunge into the river. Miraculously I manage to stay on my feet, but the knee-high water bowls me downstream.

After 20 yards or so, I manage to stop. The banks are too high to climb out here, so I start making my way against the current, back to the stepping stones.

Just at this moment, an old bloke comes around the corner. He has no idea what just happened, all he sees is some idiot strolling up the middle of the river with a bike on his back.

I can tell by the incredulous look on his face that he thinks I'm mental. I smile and give him a cheery wave so as not to spoil the illusion.  

When the old guy had gone, (he left somewhat hurriedly I thought) I haul myself and the bike out of the water, and continue my journey.

On the way home, the heavens open and I get soaked. which is great because now I won't have to explain to SWIMBO about falling into the river.

When I go to bed that night, my back is already starting to tighten up, and I know I'm heading for an "Episode"

A couple of nights later, it goes altogether while I'm playing with the dog and a one legged chicken.





 

[Laxie]

One legged chicken?! Afraid you'll need to expand on that one too.

Doing my best not to laugh by the way.  Did promise and all.  Sigh.

[Tonji]

lol

Lumbago. 80% of the population apparently suffer from this according to Wikipedia, although most not from river cycling.

[RED-DOG]

One legged chicken?! Afraid you'll need to expand on that one too.

Doing my best not to laugh by the way.  Did promise and all.  Sigh.

One of Kizzy's toys. Chicky. He is missing, (at last count) a leg, an eye, a squeeker, and miscellaneous gender specific accouterments

[RED-DOG]

And now, the end is near....


http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article7022669.ece

[Karabiner]

Sid Vicious' version is the one that floats my boat although it may not appeal to everyone.

"I killed a cat, I did it my way"