The day of the lights. Part two.
I had already lost part of my finger and most of my sanity while replacing a light bulb on Mrs Red’s car, now she wanted me to change not just the bulbs, but the entire light fittings in the kitchen and living room of our mobile home.
I can’t say I blame her though, the original ones were so dull that they almost shined dark.
After some pretty extensive research, Mrs R had stumbled upon some circular fluorescent ones in Argos. We liked these because they were low wattage, bright, and they looked exactly like the ones they used to put in the old “Roma” caravans. Problem solved.
Well… Not quite.
See, there were two different styles, which meant that Mrs Red had to choose, which meant that I had to buy a pair of each type, which meant that after fitting a different one at either end of the caravan, I would have to wait for her to her hum and haw for an hour or two, then I would have to take one pair back to the shop.
Sigh…..
Mrs Red finally made her choice, but, of the pair she had chosen, one didn’t work. This meant that I would have to return the two she didn’t want, and exchange the duff one.
Sigh….
I did an online stock-check and found that out local store didn’t have another of the one Mrs Red wanted, which meant that I had to go the big superstore at Fosse Park.
Sigh….
I checked with them that they had the light we wanted, and that I could return the unwanted lights to there. I also checked the closing time. “8pm” They said. (It was by now 7:15pm) but, if I missed my tea, I could still make it.
Sigh….
The traffic was bad. I had to cut up more people than Pol Pot, but I managed to arrive at 7:45pm.
By 7:46pm I was stumbling across the car park with three extremely large cardboard boxes balanced on my shoulder. I held the bottom one in place with one hand, the top one in place with the other hand, and the middle one in place with my teeth.
Muffled sigh….
As I hurried toward the store, I watched as an employee ushered a customer out. Just as I arrived at the door, he locked it, I gave it a resounding kick, and he opened it again.
“Can I help you sir?”
“I want to return these”
“I’m sorry sir, we’re closed”
“No you’re not, you don’t close until 8:pm"
"We're closed sir"
"I demand to see the manager”
(By this time, I had managed to get one of my legs into the shop, so he hadn’t much choice)
“One moment sir, I’ll see if he’s available”
The manager came over promptly. He stood for a moment, quietly looking me up and down.
“What seems to be the problem sir?”
“Look!” I screamed, slightly hysterical,
“I bought two sets of lights so that my wife could decide which pair she wanted, but after she had decided, we found that one of them didn’t work. Our local shop didn’t have a replacement. I had to rush through the traffic to get here before you close at 8:pm. I rang first, and you said you close at 8pm”
Suddenly feeling totally spent I added weakly, “I had to leave my tea…”
“OK” He nodded to the assistant, “Let him in” Thankfully, I staggered inside.
Almost immediately, I sensed that something was wrong. This wasn’t Argos, this was PC World.
Red faced, I apologised and went next door.
Still. All’s well that ends well.
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