Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary

[Steve Swift]

A great read Tom, i enjoyed it so much that i went to page one and started the read the whole thread, up to page 60 at the moment. I don't need to tell you how good it is many have said it to you previosuly, but for my part please keep up the good work.

Me and Jan are looking to do Vegas and San fran next year, did u end up flying tp san fran as previously muted, and i presume your drive back to Vegas  via the National parks is the last leg?  How many days has these been over Tom ?

Cheers

Steve

[RED-DOG]

A great read Tom, i enjoyed it so much that i went to page one and started the read the whole thread, up to page 60 at the moment. I don't need to tell you how good it is many have said it to you previosuly, but for my part please keep up the good work.

Me and Jan are looking to do Vegas and San fran next year, did u end up flying tp san fran as previously muted, and i presume your drive back to Vegas  via the National parks is the last leg?  How many days has these been over Tom ?

Cheers

Steve

Yes. We ended up flying to San Francisco and driving back to Vegas. We left SF and drove down the coast road as far as Carmel and then cut inland to Yosemite. (This was a mistake because if we has stayed on the coast road a little longer we would have got to the big Sir).

Yosemite was wonderful, and the natural progression after that would have been Death Valley, but we decided to give that a miss and have a couple more days on the coast instead, so we drove back to Morrow Bay (as Maureen suggested).

We came west via a valley that ran through the Sierra Navada mountains, which was pretty spectacular.

I'd I were to do it again I wouldn't fly to San Francisco. Distances are so easy to cover out here. Motels are cheap and easy to find and car hire would be cheaper if you don't pay a one way supplement, so I would drive up the coast and back through the parks.

You can't really go wrong though whatever you do. Calaforna IA a great place for a driving holiday. We enjoyed the little "Ordinary" places just as much as the big attractions.

[RED-DOG]

Hello just letting you know everything is fine here, I've pm'd you but I dont know if you can get them? x

Yes. I'm back from the wilderness so I can get your pm's.

XX

[Junior Senior]

So glad you liked Yesomite.

For us personally we regretted Death Valley, just hours of driving really. I think your hours driving would have been better spent heading back towards the coastal drive through Morro Bay and down to Palm Springs. More to see plus you could then take in Laughlin, very cheap rooms, then drive through Oatman and back to Vegas.

Laughlin ok - bit of a poor man's hickville Vegas.  Bisbee is an interesting old mining town to check out.
enjoy the trip.

[The_nun]

So glad you liked Yesomite.

For us personally we regretted Death Valley, just hours of driving really. I think your hours driving would have been better spent heading back towards the coastal drive through Morro Bay and down to Palm Springs. More to see plus you could then take in Laughlin, very cheap rooms, then drive through Oatman and back to Vegas.

Laughlin ok - bit of a poor man's hickville Vegas.  Bisbee is an interesting old mining town to check out.
enjoy the trip.

Yes maybe but I merely use it as a cheap stop over.

[The_nun]

After our own hearts Tom. We too love the ordinary places far more than touristy places. Actually prefer them.

[RED-DOG]

 So on the way out of Yosemite I hit a moose. Yes I know it happens to everyone sooner or later, but it's a shock to the system when it does.

One minute I was driving along a narrrow pass through a canyon and leaning out of the window to savout the view of a magnificent waterfall that we had just passed, the next moment Mrs Red was digging her nails into my thigh and screaming something about stopping info my ear. I have to admit that this did have the effect of gaining my attention quickly, and I looked around just in time to see something that looked like a cross between a hippo and a hat stand blocking the road.

I stood on the brakes and just managed to stop in time. Almost.

I hit the moose ever so gently, but even then it was like running into a railway buffer. It rattled my teeth and caused the back of the car to lift about three feet into the air.

I jumped out to inspect the damage. Amazingly, the car seemed unscathed. The moose was unscathed too. Dead, but unscathed.

I was in a bit of a quandary. I mean, what do you do with a dead moose? There was no one around to ask and I had no signal on my phone. Of course I could have just sneaked away, but I was afraid that some officious little park ranger might be watching through binoculars From one of the many mountain peaks, and when I tried to exit the park I would be arrested for leaving the scene of an accident, hunting without a license, first degree mooseicide or something.

In the end I decided to do what all Americans do in these situations. I tied the corpse on to the bonnet of the car and drove on.

This turned out to be a great idea. I passed several cars coming the other way and went through a couple if villages and no one batted an eyeljd. Perfect. Now all I needed to do was to get rid of the evidence in a non suspicious fashion. Hell, perhaps I could even sell it to some redneck.

I was just in the process of congratulating myself on avoiding a potentially tricky situation when I came to an intersection in a small town. I indicated left, the moose regained consciousness and indicated right. I almost crapped myself. In the end, moose thrashing wildly, I went straight across.

Within seconds the moose was almost free of his bonds. I swerved off the highway and found myself on the driveway of a big house where a barbecue seemed to be in progress. As I screeched to a halt, the moose slid from the bonnet and disappeared into the crowd.

We couldn't just leave without drawing attention to ourselves, so we mingled.

Just when we thought things couldn't get any more surreal, they did. Abraham Lincoln was doing the cooking, and he was serving Elvis, who was chatting to a nun and an astronaut.

It was a fancy dress barbeque.

When they judged the costumes they awarded first prize to an old Jewish couple, Mr and Mrs Zoidberg, who were dressed in a moose costume. Second prize went to our moose. This caused Such a commotion that we decided to make a quick getaway. Unfortunately, in my haste I accidentally reversed into the moose.

I tied it to the bonnet of the car and left.

I wish that were the end of the story, but alas no. So If you happen to be traveling on highway 41 about 70 miles east of Yosemite and you bump into a dazed and confused old Jewish couple trying to hitch a lift while carrying a moose outfit, please give them a ride back to town and pass on my apologies.

[Mitch]

 

[Karabiner]

That's the first shaggy moose story I've ever been told.

Made me guffaw a couple of times at least.

[RED-DOG]

That's the first shaggy moose story I've ever been told.

Made me guffaw a couple of times at least.

Oy! 

Schvitsing I am Ralph, schvitsing like a huzzar.

[Kev B]

Thanks for that Tom, made my day. Loving the write ups. More pics please.

[typhoon13]

Pleased your having a great time Tom.

Keep those stories flowing.

[kinboshi]

- brilliant Tom

[RED-DOG]

The moose story is actually an elaboration from an old Woody Allen routine. I was reminded of it when we did almost hit a deer.  (Well done to Dave for remembering it)

Speaking of driving,  there are two road signs that puzzle me. One on car parks "Please no not reverse in" and one on the highway, "Failing to wear seat belt could result in an $86 fine".

In LA today. Gonna take Mrs Red to see the Hollywood sign.

[Mitch]

In LA today. Gonna take Mrs Red to see the Hollywood sign.

Dont expect its top of your priority list, or even on it at all... but if you go to Universal Studios, make sure you go on the Simpsons ride, regardless of queue size!