Okay society you win- Diary of a fat boy

[Laxie]

If I'd known that was the last I'd see of yer wee belly, I'd have given it a better rub.  Good luck and whatever happens, be happy!

[Snatiramas]

Gl Snat sir - hope it all goes well, although will a new slim snatty be able to talk even faster!

We can only hope so

[The_nun]

Was this lady at the meeting.

[Snatiramas]

no but i think her sister might have been.....quite put me off my lasagne

[The_nun]

no but i think her sister might have been.....quite put me off my lasagne

looks more like a doughnut to me.

[Snatiramas]

no but i think her sister might have been.....quite put me off my lasagne

looks more like a doughnut to me.

actually as I am in Rome with work I have to admit it was a rather large helping of Tiramisu

[Tuffster]

actually as I am in Rome with work I have to admit it was a rather large helping of Tiramisu
[/quote]

Nicely done Snatty, if I learned anything from trying to shed a few lunches in my life is that EVERYTHING in moderation is good for you. (Except Polonium and Sushi if you're Russian).

Sensible eating and the odd treat to keep you happy is always the best bet.

Best of wishes and Good luck.

[Snatiramas]

So last night finds me back in the car going to fat club. Since last we met it has been a truly hectic time in the work world of the Snat with two trips to Germany and a superb trip to Rome……..I mean what menus, so much choice and I have not started this whole lose weight by liquid thing yet anyway. Tiramisu or Gelati? My sort of question.

Now whilst doing all this continental travel I had the pleasure of travelling exclusively with Ryanair. This was not just due to the cost but they actually had the routes I needed and the best time fit. So god bless good old Wacom (a fine company) they pay for me to have priority boarding and one piece of luggage. Now I am going to impart some important knowledge to you right now. There are only 60 yes 60 priority seats and one piece of luggage equals 15 kilos.
So I check into Stansted to be told that I am 2kg overweight. This young lady should have been at fat club because it is considerably more than 2 kilos. I politely ask how much this will be and I am informed with a scowl that it will be £12 per kilo. Now listen up Anne for this is her name if you want to work in a service industry do not do it with a scowl but I already know it is too late. With a large queue behind me I now go into full Meldrew mode. “How much is an additional suitcase?” I ask. £18 says Anne. “So you can put an extra suitcase on a plane for less than it costs for my 2 kilos which do not take up any more space? Is this correct?”. Yes says Anne with an even bigger scowl. “I don’t believe it says I”.
 Then my favourite line of our little exchange. In an attempt to be helpful she comes up with….”Well you could transfer some stuff from your suitcase to your hand luggage”……and I can see other people doing this. They are dragging clothes from their suitcase and are going to carry them in their hand luggage with everybody looking on. I look at Anne and think…no I am not going to tell you. Anyway I get a little slip of paper that I have to take to a completely new queue to pay for the excess. I am now getting a good insight into how difficult it was to get food during the communist regime in Russia. Now as I reach the front of the queue I meet another happy smiling employee or rather somebody who knows that when they were handing out the jobs this morning she was one level away from cleaning the toilets. Hello Sonya says I as I pass over my slip of paper. She scowls. Now there is a surprise. She hands me a book that I have to sign. First I write “I hate this airline because I am not allowed to take my clothes with me” and then I sign my name safe in the knowledge that one day an auditor will be going through that book and will spot the tiniest of protests. I then have to take a new piece of paper back to Anne who finally issues me with my boarding card.
So three Ryanair flights and three lots of excess and three comments in three different books in three different countries. My tip is take an extra bag with you in your suitcase as it is cheaper than paying excess.

Sorry for digressing but I just had to get all of that out of the system. So back to last night. Pistols blasting out the Snatmobiles stereo, Pretty Vacant was the exact track, and I arrive for my first all male bonding session, plus weigh in and pick up my weeks supply of nutritious soups and shakes……..oh blimey yeah. Now some of the guys look really good they have lost large amounts of weight. I get weighed and it gets entered into my own little book. Then horror of horrors I am asked to measure my waist. When Angelina says measure your waist she is talking about my real waist, not that thin strip of body that my trousers somehow miraculously cling onto. Ready for this 56 bloody inches. OMG.

Anyway I fill out my menu choices  strawberry, vanilla, mushroom, banana, 4 bars, water flavours my word what choices. Get a new bag to hold them in. A new whisk, battery operated. And a booklet on what to expect. Let me tell you that booklet was accurate. I do have a headache. I have drank lots of water. I have taken my first sachet. Strawberry. Not too disgusting and I am about to have my second. Vegetable soup I think. I am hungry but not impossibly so. I mean every year I fast for 25 hours. No food, water or anything so I am aware of the mental requirement at the start (Fast of Yom Kippur aka the Day of Atonement).

I will tell more next week

[byronkincaid]

what do you think of Gary Taubes? quack out to make a quick buck or reputable researcher/author?

if you have time this video is worth a watch

http://webcast.berkeley.edu/event_details.php?webcastid=21216

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9F04E2D61F3EF934A35754C0A9649C8B63&sec=health

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Calories-Bad-Challenging-Conventional/dp/1400040787/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211543386&sr=1-1

[Snatiramas]

what do you think of Gary Taubes? quack out to make a quick buck or reputable researcher/author?

if you have time this video is worth a watch

http://webcast.berkeley.edu/event_details.php?webcastid=21216

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9F04E2D61F3EF934A35754C0A9649C8B63&sec=health

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Calories-Bad-Challenging-Conventional/dp/1400040787/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211543386&sr=1-1

his arguments seem well made. What do I know. You pays your money and takes your choice

[Snatiramas]

So end of week 1.
A whole week going to bed feeling like an over inflated space hoppa. I mean have you ever tried to drink 4 litres of water of every day.
I now have a new sport for the Olympics

In the red corner weighing in at morbidly obese I give you Phil Cooklin who is now weeing for Britain.....Phil a fat bloke from Hertfordshire is new onto the weeing seen but he has outstanding potential......he starts well.....can he beat the world record....oh yes he can. So thats gold for Britain and a record time of continual weeing of 4 mins 21 secs.

Talking of the Olympics.....how on earth did it end up in Stratford. A long time ago I was the manager of the Burton menswear store in Stratford and let me tell you if it wasn't nailed down it was nicked. All that heavy duty plant to be stolen they must think it is Xmas. In fact Stratford still holds lots of memories for me. I was a very young manager. Twenty one when I had my first store. I had visited the area before interview as it had been advertised twice and I knew there had to be a reason. As I walked into the store there was one old guy a member of staff moving suits with a pipe hanging out his mouth. There were two sales people leaning on the racks of clothes talking about what they were going to do tonight...and there in the corner with absolutely nobody watching him was a 15 year old kid about to load jeans into a hold all. So I went and stood next to him. I didn't say a word. Just stood and looked at him. Anyway much to my surprise he decided not to steal the jeans and left the store.I should have turned round and just not applied. No not me. This store was going to be my launchpad. It could only go one way. Useless staff. Shoplifting rife. This is a young mans dream store. The man who managed to control Stratford would be a slingshot into a much bigger store.......and anyway how hard could it be.

A bit like weight loss then. Now let me tell you this week was good in places and at other times was incredibly tough.
Friday was incredibly tough. Headaches. Or rather one long headache. Drank loads of water. Thought seriously about not starting. My mind though kept coming back to one of the ads I had seen
Losing weight is hard
Keeping it off is even harder
Not being around to play football with your son?

Oh bugger. Can't just give up then.
So onto day two. It was a dream. No headaches. Mooched around the house all day. Watched rugby on the telly. Played backgammon with the kids.
Sunday.....decided to play poker at the G. Hadn't been for a while and let me tell you what a lovely reception. So many friendly faces. Such good banter. I do miss the people and the socialising. Anyway just for amusements sake I took one of the soup mixes along with me and there in the middle of the comp with a little battery operated whisk I made up a fat boy soup mix.......I thought Tikay was going to burst as he was trying so hard not to laugh. Made a huge error when 16 left and went out about 14th. Errors happen.
Monday......took the kids to the Imperial War Museum. Fascinating stuff. Went to Waterstones afterwards as we all like a good book. End up in Cafe Nero. The kids have juice and cake. I have an Espresso and a peanut diet bar. No problem. I make supper for the whole family when we get home and clear it up. After all I might as well get used to it now. It felt good actually. It felt like it was my decision to lose this weight and as it was my choice then I have no need for any of the foods in front of me. Of course we all know it was societies fault.
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday day. Went to work. No problems with diet except that at about 4 pm everyday I would suddenly get a tremendous urge to eat food.

And so back to fat club. Trepidation. What if I have put all this effort in and I have lost only a pound. I haven't cheated in anyway. I have followed the rules completely. I need special music for this journey and plump for The Buzzcocks.....Ever fallen in love (With someone you shouldn't've)...if you haven't heard this version go and get it. So with the Buzzcocks cranked up mega I drive to fat club. A really good session. They help me a lot with understanding what is going on in my head as well as my body.

Moment of truth. Weigh in time. I have lost thirteen pounds. Read it and weep. Moving on to week 2. More next week.

[Dewi_cool]

 wp can you have guinness on this diet?

[RED-DOG]

Great post Phil. I don't know what I envy most, your writing or your weight loss. 

[77dave]

Great post Phil. I don't know what I envy most, your writing or your weight loss. 

for me  its not his writing or his weightloss

Phil is a proper dad   society would be in better condition if more dads were like phil.

imperial war museum then buying a book each and playing backgammon 

[Snatiramas]

wp can you have guinness on this diet?

Many years ago I worked for Guinness.......I wish.....one day I will have a Guinness. In fact we shall share one together