An account of Jeeves' trip to Las Vegas latterly in the service of Mr tikay.

[Jeeves]

"J-J-Jump around"

I was in the living room of the suite, and heard a commotion in the bedroom

Singing continued

"J-Jump around"

I ventured to look into the room, to find Master jumping on his king size bed as a small bundle of dollar notes fluttered around him as they rose off the bed

"Oh hello Jeeves, they were in my house of pain today!"

I paused. I wasn't quite sure I would describe 19th place for $362 as a "house of pain" but I suppose the feeling was that if you are in a desert, you don't turn down the offer of a drink however warm.

"Jeeves, Here's $362. Please iron the notes individually, catalogue the serial numbers for my notebook and return them to me for use tomorrow"

I realised, once more, that mine was not to reason why and that at least it was not socks this time

I then had to attend to yesterday's minor drama and suggested the following

"Sir,would you like some ice for your leg? It must hurt after you tripped over that side table?"

"No Jeeves, No Jeeves I am high on life. Another flag on my profile. Only 245 behind Daniel now!!"

I wondered when this mood would wear off

"Perhaps sir" (I decided to strike when the iron was hot) "if you should start a new poker side but instead of it being called Fullcontactpoker you should call yours Nocontactpoker. Just to remind you to stay away from stray poker room side tables sir"

At that exact moment it was as if time stood still. It went eerily quiet, except for the sound of the air conditioning. Master looked at me.I looked at him. He tried to form a sentence. I waited for that sentence.

Eventually he spoke

"Jeeves. Nothing, and I mean nothing, should be set up that at all detracts from Daniel's site, his sterling efforts for the poker community and his unselfish countless hours to educate them on the benefits of more rake. Nothing. Oh, and you are baby-sitting Marley tomorrow"

"M-M-Marley?"

"Yes Jeeves Marley, Daniel's Beagle Pekinese"

"Beagle Pekinese?"

"A dog Jeeves"

I understood it was a dog, but I was at that moment mentally checking the small print in my non existent contract to see if it involved dogs. Apparently there didn't seem a way out of this

"Yes Jeeves, Daniel and I are going to discuss strategy over some tofu at Daniel's favourite Vegan restaurant. You will be required from 1-3pm. Walk Marley...."

"In the heat of the day sir?"

"Jeeves, walk Marley. Doesn't matter what time it is. "

I wasn't quite sure I was used to this assertiveness, but I knew my place

"Yes sir"   

"Thanks Jeeves, you are a solidier"

"A buffalo soldier sir?"

and with that, the non-dreadlocked Masta left the room, shaking his head.....

[Knottikay]

 


Could have been worse.....he could of said Marky instead of Marley.

[bobAlike]

Brilliant!!!

[Karabiner]

 

[booder]

Oh my.So good.

[atdc21]

 

[Marky147]

[Jeeves]

"Morning Jeeves"

Master bounded into the Lounge and threw open the curtains. I had a late night (what goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas) and was still at rest on the sofa, having neglected my duties that morning but it appeared not to matter

"Jeeves, I want you to go down to Walmart, get me some gear"

"Some gear sir?"

I did not like the way this going.

"Hoops Jeeves, Hoops. I want to be a Cleveland Cavalier, I'm so Cavalier Jeeves"

I paused. Was I still dreaming. I perhaps expected a discussion about a Vauxhall Cavalier, but the Cleveland Cavaliers?

"Some of those NBA boys have amazing physiques, LeBron is a stunning physical specimen, so big and powerful, yet he seems to float across the floor. Jeeves, I am going to play hoops"

"but sir, isn't Lebron a one man team?"

Master looked at me

I continued

"wouldn't it be better to be a Warrior sir? Nice bridge in the Golden State after all"

"Jeeves, go and get me a singlet, shorts,socks and a pair of Air Nike's. I am going to rip them a new one from Point guard"   

"Sir, I.."

I as interrupted just as I was about to begin

"Jeeves I know what you are going to say. I won't hear any of it. Hoops. Hoops.Hoops"

and with that he folded his arms, jutted his jaw and stood four square in front of me

I immediately made plans for Walmart, and too a subtle look at Masters health insurance. Was Septuagenarian court activity covered i wondered?

--

Some hours later I returned, laden with sporting goods to find that plans had changed

"Jeeves we are off to Venetian Expo Hall G, home of the Deepstack Extravanganza."

"Basketball, sir?"

"Jeeves I have found something infinitely more exciting. You buy in at a freight container!!!"

The excitement this seemed to engender seemed completely out of proportion with the prospect of seeing a container

"Jeeves it starts at 4pm and you will need to join the line at 3pm."

"Sir". this was more like it, adding value for Master's life by helping him avoid a queue

As for the tournament itself my notes read as follows

"After flopping the nuts, and betting all the way, Master goes all in. The Dealer announces "ace high straight" and pushes the chips to the other player. Master leaps up and knocks over another side table, spills his latte and reaches for his spectacles and does a double take. I immediately come to the rescue and declare " there is no ace high straight" and insist that the dealer chops the pot.

Meanwhile Master is absent from the table and when I ask which direction he went I am pointed towards the restroom. I go to the rest room to find Master has had a small accident and could i please rush back and get a change of clothes before the end of the blind level. I go back and grab the first thing i find. I am sad to report it took a few minutes for Master to recover his sang-froid once positioned at his seat in a Cleveland Cavaliers Kit. Soon though his ice cool demeanour was resumed.

He exited the tournament soon afterwards"

Writing now, Master is just awakening from his slumbers. Professional courtesy forbade me from taking of picture of him at rest in his kit and i trust we will be at our venue today in normal attire.

[typhoon13]

FFS Jeeves I hope he pays you well

[atdc21]

Just Lol

[Marky147]

Jeeves is the GOAT!

[booder]

Jeeves is the GOAT!

AMEN

[4KSuited]

Class, Jeeves

[Jeeves]

"Jeeves Jeeves Jeeves, we've made day two"

"yes sir, I know. Congratulations"

This was, after all, the fourteenth time in the hour since day 1 had ended that he had proferred this information to me, the latest such in the queue for Peppermints in which I had promised Master a latte and a chat with Sapphire.

"well we must be up early Jeeves, have to recce the containers and then prepare properly"

"Sir!" I said, straight-backed.

Later in the evening, as the charms of Sapphire waned ("Jeeves she had no interest in Aqueducts. Didn't even know who Isambard Kingdom Brunel was! Can you believe that?") his last words before turning in were

"Jeeves, here is my list. Ask all these people to come to my day 2 please. There is a viewing area. Green seats. Salubrious"

I looked at the list

It was split into two

in BOLD CAPITALS

Daniel Negraneau. (n.b N/B but not his dog)
Rafi Ashkenazi (As a courtesy Jeeves)
Mark Hughes (helped fund my trip Jeeves, Stoke's old manager)

in normal text

Stuart Rutter (easypickings for some, Jeeves)
Michael O'Leary
Warren Buffett

followed by on the other side

DO NOT INVITE


The man who sells phone chargers at the Rio
All American Dave (steamed veggies and rice, yuk!)
Doug Polk (more rake IS better, Jeeves)
Sapphire
Her friends

and i set about contacting the lucky six. Messages sent, intermediaries used, social media employed. No stone let unturned to make sure Master had the support he needed for his big day

As play began the next day the picture below showed the packed bleachers.

"Jeeves come here now!"

I stepped forward and put down my notebook

"Warren? Michael? where are they? I have defended Ryanair for over a decade Jeeves. Read 42 Berkshire Hathaway annual reports cover to cover Jeeves"

Just as i was about to reply he continiued

"Where's Mark Hughes Jeeves? And Stuart Rutter? I know he is in Vegas. and...."

He began to look doleful, with eyes resembling a bassett hound...

"and Rafi and Daniel, Jeeves?" His voice muted to a whisper, he continued almost sotto voce "Not even Daniel?"

by now his bottom lip was a quiver

"only if his dog could come Master and you specifically said not his dog"

Master turned, shoulders slumped

Fifteen minutes later we were heading back to the Rio. In silence. It seemed I had let Master down and as a consequence he simply had not been "feeling it" and this had reflected in his play

As we re-entered the suite, I ventured "tomorrow's another day sir" but before my sentence was complete the door into his bedroom had shut behind him.

[tikay]

Just gets better & better.