It was 90 minutes or so after had first stepped into the suite at the Rio. I had busied myself unpacking, preparing my quarters behind a hastily made partition (upturned sofa, spare bed-sheets secured from ceiling) when I was surprised by the door opening
It was my Master, followed by four men in face paint
"Who on earth did that Cowboy think he was Jeeves, calling me an old man?"
I said nothing, had learnt it was best to let the rant take its natural course
""You ever going to play a hand, old man?" ""I always respect you Old Man"He paused, in high dudgeon
"I'm not old Jeeves. 47 isn't old these days"
"Is it a break in the tournament sir?" I thought had better change the subject
"No Jeeves, out Jeeves. Decided to come back Jeeves so you could write my blog. Didn't have any plans did you?"
My plans were actually well advanced
but duty obviously had to come first, so replied matter of factly
"no sir, just beetroot to pickle and your socks to iron"
"good Jeeves, open up Wordpress my good man"
The elephant in the room had still not been addressed. Why exactly were Kiss in his suite, standing around looking like spare parts?
| Click to see full-size image. |
As I downloaded the images from the camera to accompany the first blog entry, realised that I should be grateful for small mercies. Gene, Eric, Paul and Tommy were at least dressed, if looking somewhat non-plussed, unlike earlier
I transcribed the blog, and edited it judiciously. Then raised the inevitable question in a way that I thought showed consderable tact
"Would your guests like something to drink sir?"
"Guests?" My master looked genuinely surprised and jumped with a fright when he turned round. He ran behind me and breathed heavily
"Jeeves, don't tell them the safe combination whatever you do. That first edition of excavators of the Americas is priceless. Jeeves, helllllllllllp"
It was a pitiful cry and it was left to me to resolve the situation
"Hello gentlemen" I said to the front man, who I discovered was a Mr Gene Simmons "can we help you with anything? Wrong room perhaps"
"No, we don't think so" said Gene "We were doing some promotion on Fremont street ahead of our show tonight and that gentleman walked out of Binions..."
he pointed at my Master, barely visible but holding on to my waistcoat tight. he continued
"he took a photo of our bare bottoms, walked past and said
"old man, old man, old man" in a soft voice so we followed. In our experience in Las Vegas, that's an invitation for Crazy crazy nights and well times are hard. We need the cash"
Suddenly it was all becoming clear. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas but what was currently happening in Vegas needed to get out of suite 2604 of the Rio Hotel and convention center, and quick.
"I think there may have been a misunderstanding" I said to Kiss. "He's old, he sometimes knows not what he does. Let me compensate you for your time"
I handed them four Sky Poker stress reliever balls, two branded packs of cards, two card protectors and a signed photograph of Ryan Spittles, smiling.
This seemed to appease them and they left the room smiling and one simpering over the photograph
My master emerged from my waistcoat, stood up straight and said
"Thanks Jeeves, that was a sticky spot. But never call me old again"
and he lay down on the bed and fell asleep, it was left to me to send the blog, and send off the first Bluff Europe article that my master thought he had sent in may but had actually been sitting in "Drafts"
Only 28 days to go.
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