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RED-DOG
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« Reply #3510 on: June 15, 2018, 12:40:14 PM » |
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I like Chompy's reviews too, but I can't concentrate on what he's written because I always have this vision of him flouncing down the isle wearing a flowered dress and a clown mask.
Perhaps I need therapy.
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The older I get, the better I was.
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the sicilian
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« Reply #3511 on: June 15, 2018, 02:15:51 PM » |
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I like Chompy's reviews too, but I can't concentrate on what he's written because I always have this vision of him flouncing down the isle wearing a flowered dress and a clown mask.
Perhaps I need therapy.
Looool |
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Just because you don't like it...... It doesn't mean it's not the truth
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the sicilian
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« Reply #3512 on: June 15, 2018, 02:16:22 PM » |
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Gotta hand it to the sicilian. He sails a bit close to the edge where spoilers are concerned but his reviews are tack-sharp and superbly well written.
Top hole.
Hah Thanks Tom.. |
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Just because you don't like it...... It doesn't mean it's not the truth
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #3513 on: June 15, 2018, 02:21:05 PM » |
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I like Chompy's reviews too, but I can't concentrate on what he's written because I always have this vision of him flouncing down the isle wearing a flowered dress and a clown mask.
Perhaps I need therapy.
Looool In before Chomps tells me I've spelled aisle wrong. |
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The older I get, the better I was.
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the sicilian
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« Reply #3514 on: June 15, 2018, 04:32:57 PM » |
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Jurassic World
So another expected cash cow is wheeled out by the studios where some genius thinks anything with dinosaurs in it will be a winner. To be fair his probably right even if its tripe...
The island from the previous instalment is about to be swallowed by the resident erupting volcano thus taking all those poor dinosaurs with it.. A rescue plan is formed to get some of the Dinosaurs off and rehouse them on their own little place in the sun where they can live out their days in peace and not be gawped at by ice cream swallowing snotty kids... Awwwwww ! lovely..
Hold on seems bad guys are in charge and just want to sell the dinosaurs to the highest bidder i.e mad Russians and the brothers Isis who want to turn them into trained machines of war... Eh ? .. Lets think about that for a second.. then dismiss it as the most stupid ludicrous plot/idea you have ever heard. I mean come on is that really the best we could come up with ?
Fucking nonsense... and the ending is even more pathetic.. i wont spoil it but the issue they refer to happening would be solved inside a week..
On the plus side effects are top notch.. the Dino's steal the show and look incredibly realistic.. set pieces are good if a bit comic style.. its early summer blockbuster fare.. kids will love it.. adults with a good sense of suspension of disbelief will bear it .. but whens its all said and done it can be summed up as follows :
big scary Dinosaurs..screaming..chasing..eating of unfortunates..dead Dinosaur ( mostly )
I enjoyed the original and 1 of the follow ups because it was different and ground breaking.. now i get a sense of piling on and draining every drop of dollar possible before the inevitable end..
5/10
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Chompy
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« Reply #3515 on: June 15, 2018, 04:37:59 PM » |
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How bad would it need to be to get fewer than 5 fajitas out of 10?
That script though!
I'd have torn up my cineworld unlimited card if it wasn't made of plastic and/or I had your biceps.
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"I know we must all worship at the Church of Chomps, but statements like this are just plain ridic. He says he can't get a bet on, but we all know he can."
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the sicilian
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« Reply #3516 on: June 15, 2018, 04:45:30 PM » |
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How bad would it need to be to get fewer than 5 fajitas out of 10?
That script though!
I'd have torn up my cineworld unlimited card if it wasn't made of plastic and/or I had your biceps.
I was trying to be objective to viewers with children small enough to go wide eyed at the mere sight of a Dino... but yes script was written on a half used bog roll in a second rate LA night club by a coke addled intern |
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Just because you don't like it...... It doesn't mean it's not the truth
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TightEnd
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« Reply #3517 on: June 15, 2018, 04:48:54 PM » |
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I lasted 25 minutes and 49 seconds of JW3 before i left.
1/10
horrendous script. granted it may have got better after 25.49
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My eyes are open wide
By the way,I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out today
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the sicilian
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« Reply #3518 on: June 16, 2018, 04:47:16 PM » |
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I lasted 25 minutes and 49 seconds of JW3 before i left.
1/10
horrendous script. granted it may have got better after 25.49
Take comfort in the fact you didnt waste another hour and a half of your life |
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Chompy
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« Reply #3519 on: June 16, 2018, 11:12:04 PM » |
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Hereditary lives up to the hype. Different and unpredictable, and Toni Collette incred as always. Hard to see how this could have been much better. 9/10
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"I know we must all worship at the Church of Chomps, but statements like this are just plain ridic. He says he can't get a bet on, but we all know he can."
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Woodsey
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« Reply #3520 on: June 22, 2018, 10:40:08 PM » |
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I lasted 25 minutes and 49 seconds of JW3 before i left.
1/10
horrendous script. granted it may have got better after 25.49
Take comfort in the fact you didnt waste another hour and a half of your life Meh, it wasn’t that bad. Saw if today and thought it was fine but nothing more or less than that..... The IMAX at the Printworks in Manchester is great btw. |
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KarmaDope
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« Reply #3521 on: June 23, 2018, 12:32:01 AM » |
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I lasted 25 minutes and 49 seconds of JW3 before i left.
1/10
horrendous script. granted it may have got better after 25.49
Take comfort in the fact you didnt waste another hour and a half of your life Meh, it wasn’t that bad. Saw if today and thought it was fine but nothing more or less than that..... The IMAX at the Printworks in Manchester is great btw.Agreed. I saw Dunkirk there last year. Best cinema experience I have ever had. |
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Mark_Porter
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« Reply #3522 on: June 25, 2018, 11:47:25 AM » |
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Hereditary - one of the most overated films of the year imo.
Two brilliant performances aside, a meandering plot and a borderline ridiculous ending. Saw it in a small 30 seater screen, a group walked out half way through and when the lights came up, there was discontent all around. It's atmospheric but not scary. A couple of shocking scenes but nothing remotely original.
I wasn't bored at any point but expected a lot more given all the 5 star reviews.
FWIW, I thought JW4 was better than given credit for on here. Second half is much better than the first.
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the sicilian
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« Reply #3523 on: June 25, 2018, 01:42:40 PM » |
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Mother
A bit late with this one.. didnt fancy a cinema trip and have had it on download for ages. I was looking forward to it given the star cast and the intriguing trailers. Settled down for a spooky standard horror. Ah think we made a wrong turn into crazy land here.
An isolated house.. a woman whose writer husband has severe writers block...setting up ok.. strange vistors..first a doctor.. then his wife..both who seem to have social and personal skill issues.. Its all lining up nicely then..
At this point the whole thing spirals uncontrollably, with the directors undoubtbly troubled mind splurged across the screen like the aftermath of a 14 pint and doner kebab night out.
The film is listed as an allegory, fine, but it attempts to deal with too many subjects all at once.. Religion..motherhood.. cycle of life.. relationships.. life..death.. its all in there... unfortunatly what happens is just a confusing mess. The viewer is overloaded with visuals as the madness ensues.
Its artistic interpretation in the extreme and more than a little self indulgent. A lot of the reviews online relate it as one of the most terrible films they have ever seen.. this is mainly borne out of the fact they did not understand what the the hell was going on. To be fair you can't blame them as even I sat there at the conclusion and thought ..what the fuck happened there. I had to sit and actually think it through.. and still only partially understood .
This film is akin to talking to a nuclear physicist about his field which you have no understanding of and him stitting there silently mocking you for being stupid. There are some out there who will smugly claim they understood it all and look down upon the peasants and their simple understanding of things. However I think you need to get the ( respected ) director on a professionals couch for a couple of years to get to the bottom of it.
To the man in the street this film is going to be confusing and possibly boring..there are certain horror elements but these are swallowed by the depth of the allegory.
It was a surprise to see Lawrence once again take on a role you wouldnt expect and she makes a decent fist of the almost impossible range required.
As an art house piece it probably has merit but I think in the end it was just one massive ego trip for the director at the viewers expense to display how deep and clever he is... the film bombed at the box office.. not a surprise once initial reviews hit..
Avoid if you want a straight up horror..watch if you want your head to hurt for a couple of days trying to figure what actually went on
4/10 for the visuals, decent acting and sheer sensory overload
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Just because you don't like it...... It doesn't mean it's not the truth
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StuartHopkin
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« Reply #3524 on: June 25, 2018, 02:11:17 PM » |
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Can't fault the review above.
I watched Mother and though it was one of the most bizarre things I had ever seen with one of the most horrible scenes I have ever seen in a mainstream film!
I read an article online a few days later though and it helped explain it, and after reading it I think i liked it more than i did when i first watched it!
Cant find the link now but it was along the lines of....
Jennifer Lawrence is Mother Earth
House is Earth
Husband is God
Doctor and Wife are Adam and Eve
Doctors sons are Cain and Able
Baby is obvs Jesus etc
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