FML, I am in the Colonies !

AlexMartin

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #15 on: June 19, 2009, 04:31:08 PM »

Quote from: Rod Paradise on June 19, 2009, 04:26:53 PM

Let's look at this from the other side......

Wee woman working reception in the travel lodge in Aberdeen:

"FML I've got the Friday afternoon shift, now instead of just the roughnecks off the rigs, all horned up and gagging for a bevvy, I'll have a few teuchter's from the wilds of Scotland like Elgin coming to the 'Big City' to get pissed/stoned/laid. At least they'll not be arriving for a while and I can get things prepared for them."

Door opens - in walks a big balding bloke, one eye going for the messages, the other bringing home the change. Kind of like a cross between:

and

"Fuck's sake I think it's trying to speak!!"

'Awight treacle, ow's it going, wanna check me in sharpish so I can get up the apple and pears to me room to get off me plates, get a quick kip, maybe a J Arthur & then get ready to meet me china Ironsides? the name's Shepherd.'

"Right, I caught none of that beyond Shepherd, let's have a look, OK, he's booked in (I want to cry now), well he's obviously some kind of care in the community case who cannae speak the language, we can give him the wrecked room, less for him to nick. Only problem is the early check in fee, if he complains gracefully I'll maybe waive it."

"OK Sir, I'm sorry but there's a £10 charge for checking in early."

'You're avin a giraffe incha? All the way up the Frog from Lahdahn, on that plane with me farmer Giles giving me gip & you want a tenner to let me check in early? Bloody Sweaties!!'

"Right I caught that, he's a sassenach, fuck waiving the fee."

"Sorry Sir it's company policy, I don't make the rules".

'Awight then, it's a load of pony, but I'll cough for it, need a bit of shuteye before I meet Ironsides for a ruby & then he said we're off for the 'karaoke', some place called the Sheep Farm - better be good."

Kev goes up the stairs, wee woman calls in sick for the weekend.

lol wp rod!!!!!!


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The_nun

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #16 on: June 19, 2009, 04:32:59 PM »


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booder

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #17 on: June 19, 2009, 04:38:07 PM »

Quote from: The_nun on June 19, 2009, 04:32:59 PM


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im not speculating, either, but id have been pretty peeved if i missed the thread and i ended up getting clipped, kindly accepting a lift home.

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kinboshi

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #18 on: June 19, 2009, 04:39:18 PM »

Awaits next installment eagerly.


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Colchester Kev

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #19 on: June 19, 2009, 05:11:02 PM »

LOL just been for a walk about ...obv pissing down with rain FML ... nip into bookies and have a score on a dog ... binks at 7/4 and get back £55 in fkin toytown money !!

My phone pings and its a text fro Rod "sorry Kev, couldnt resist LOL" ... I ring him back and ask him whats he sorry for, he replies "you will soon find out when you fire up the lappy"

I did LOL though NH WP GG Rod ... now GFY !


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RED-DOG

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #20 on: June 19, 2009, 05:20:49 PM »

Brilliant!!!!


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Colchester Kev

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #21 on: June 19, 2009, 05:23:41 PM »

LOL after firing up the lappy to see the bite back from Rod, I nipped to the loo ... when I came out I closed the door (it had been open since i got here0 and saw some more evidence of a Scottish "Family room"


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cia260895

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #22 on: June 19, 2009, 05:26:25 PM »

find a place to stash a smelly fish b4 u leave

superglue wardrobe doors shut as well take out lightbulb and shake it til element breaks then glue the fecker back in

call it shepherds revenge

that is if you didnt leave a deposit and i take it a revisit is off the menu


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cia260895

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #23 on: June 19, 2009, 05:27:35 PM »

Quote from: Colchester Kev on June 19, 2009, 05:23:41 PM

obv lack of loo roll those jocks r well ard u know


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lazaroonie

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #24 on: June 19, 2009, 05:28:54 PM »

Quote from: booder on June 19, 2009, 03:54:06 PM

It's Scotchland Kev,that room rates 9/10 on the luxury scale up there mate

ha, im going to post a pic of my hotel room, make you all jealous....


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maccol

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #25 on: June 19, 2009, 05:29:31 PM »

Quote from: Colchester Kev on June 19, 2009, 05:23:41 PM

Time for some financial chit-chat with hotel management imo


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Colchester Kev

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #26 on: June 19, 2009, 05:31:10 PM »

POSITIVE NEWS !!

I have decided to sample the culinary delights of Scotland ... but I couldnt face Irn-Bru Wink


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byronkincaid

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #27 on: June 19, 2009, 05:31:28 PM »

i'm gonna ring them up and say you've been posting on the internet that you've kicked their bathroom door in


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gatso

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #28 on: June 19, 2009, 05:32:06 PM »

diet coke. so com


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thetank

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Re: FML, I am in the Colonies !

« Reply #29 on: June 19, 2009, 05:32:16 PM »

lol, you run good at booking hotels. I think that's the worst one in Aberdeen.

All it's got going for it is it's central. For this reason they get away with murder and still fill up every week.

Laz is in a palace ~a mile to the West of you.


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