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Author Topic: Joke!!  (Read 310285 times)
RED-DOG
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« Reply #1290 on: December 26, 2018, 09:41:09 PM »

"Mum, I'm going out".

"Not until you change out of that mini skirt you're not".

"Why?"

"Because I can see your balls Richard".
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Kev B
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« Reply #1291 on: December 27, 2018, 07:57:40 AM »

"Mum, I'm going out".

"Not until you change out of that mini skirt you're not".

"Why?"

"Because I can see your balls Richard".


 Grin Grin Grin
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« Reply #1292 on: January 08, 2019, 10:41:06 PM »

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."

I know he means well.

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Motivational speeches at their best:

"Because thats what living is, the 6 inches in front of your face......" - Patrick Leonard - 10th May 2015
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« Reply #1293 on: January 09, 2019, 09:22:45 AM »

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."

I know he means well.



 Grin
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Quote from: action man
im not speculating, either, but id have been pretty peeved if i missed the thread and i ended up getting clipped, kindly accepting a lift home.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr
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« Reply #1294 on: January 31, 2019, 10:43:46 PM »

I'd like to thank my neighbour for allowing me to borrow her large sheet of plastic covering.

Ta Pauline

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Motivational speeches at their best:

"Because thats what living is, the 6 inches in front of your face......" - Patrick Leonard - 10th May 2015
booder
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« Reply #1295 on: February 01, 2019, 09:06:54 AM »

Groan
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Quote from: action man
im not speculating, either, but id have been pretty peeved if i missed the thread and i ended up getting clipped, kindly accepting a lift home.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr
MANTIS01
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« Reply #1296 on: February 07, 2019, 10:59:15 AM »

What’s the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

One lives in the outback, the others a Geordie stuck in a lift.
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Tikay - "He has a proven track record in business, he is articulate, intelligent, & presents his cases well"

Claw75 - "Mantis is not only a blonde legend he's also very easy on the eye"

Outragous76 - "a really nice certainly intelligent guy"

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« Reply #1297 on: April 17, 2019, 06:37:18 PM »

I asked the Librarian if she had any books on Paranoia.

She whispered "they are behind you."
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Quote from: action man
im not speculating, either, but id have been pretty peeved if i missed the thread and i ended up getting clipped, kindly accepting a lift home.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr
MANTIS01
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« Reply #1298 on: May 11, 2019, 01:52:15 PM »

What happens when you eat tin foil?

You sheet metal
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Tikay - "He has a proven track record in business, he is articulate, intelligent, & presents his cases well"

Claw75 - "Mantis is not only a blonde legend he's also very easy on the eye"

Outragous76 - "a really nice certainly intelligent guy"

taximan007 & Girgy85 & Celtic & Laxie - <3 Mantis
RED-DOG
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« Reply #1299 on: May 11, 2019, 02:20:31 PM »

What do you do if your mouth is icy?

Grit your teeth.
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bobAlike
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« Reply #1300 on: May 12, 2019, 12:54:05 AM »

My new girlfriend suffers from eczema, she has cracking tits.
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #1301 on: May 12, 2019, 08:00:41 AM »

Haha
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« Reply #1302 on: May 19, 2019, 12:23:40 AM »

I got fired from my roofing job for wanking at work, the boss said I can wipe the slate clean though.
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MANTIS01
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« Reply #1303 on: June 08, 2019, 09:02:30 PM »

Dwarf stunned after being pick pocketed. He said “How can anybody stoop so low?”
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Tikay - "He has a proven track record in business, he is articulate, intelligent, & presents his cases well"

Claw75 - "Mantis is not only a blonde legend he's also very easy on the eye"

Outragous76 - "a really nice certainly intelligent guy"

taximan007 & Girgy85 & Celtic & Laxie - <3 Mantis
booder
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« Reply #1304 on: June 17, 2019, 12:01:37 AM »

Local dentist arrested for dealing drugs. Shows you how wrong you can be about people. I've been going to him for ages. Never knew he was a dentist.
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Quote from: action man
im not speculating, either, but id have been pretty peeved if i missed the thread and i ended up getting clipped, kindly accepting a lift home.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr
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