Chompy's Recidivist 2010 G Luton League/Scrabble thread

[Laxie]

Congrats to the pair of you and here's to many more years!

[Lucky]

OK, ok, ok......now I know that many of you will find this hard to believe but tomorrow (Thursday 6th May 2010) me and Mrs Drainy.....................                                               .......................have been married for 21 years.

Quite an impressive feat imo..................especially for her obv.

It is particularly hard to believe that we've hit 21 years given that we're only about 30.....AHEM........it's true.

So the question is, where should I take Drainetta tomorrow nite to celebrate this magnificent landmark?
 
I was thinking of the theatre, or maybe a nice restaurant, or even a cultural evening involving some sort of museum or castle.

I really would value your ideas and thoughts, as I seem to have left celebratory plans a little late.

Actually, wot tourney have they got at the G tomorrow? (yes, the lucky lady could be up for a REALLY special treat imo).

Drainy (Poster_Of_Much_Inane_Bollox_IMO).

Tell her you are going to give her to a night in worthy of a rollercoaster ride, lots of thrills, spills and she may hold her breath at some point.  Then sit her down in front of the tv and watch the election results roll in. No need to thank me. 

BTW - you are in serious trouble if you really haven't arranged anything!

This.

I'm sure he's got something fabulous planned. Not even Drainy would be stupid enough to admit on a public forum read by his wife that he hasn't planned anything, so it must be a double bluff!

Or is it?

Seriously, many congratulations to you both!

[Simon Galloway]

Congrats.

See you tonight!

[TightEnd]

May 1989 and in the hustling atmosphere of the Stock Exchange floor a young blue button has just conducted his first trade. His badge proclaims his name and he thrusts it proudly into the face of his counterpart. "Darren Allen" has arrived. Only a few years before he was caught up in the New Romantic Movement, his jet black hair lustrous and shiny as he applied mascara in his teenage bedroom whilst trying not to consider the stirring in his loins when he looked at the Boy George poster above his bed and now he, Darren Allen was a fully fledged constituent of the greatest trading floor in the world.

Darren's life was simple. After all the internet had yet to he invented so not for him, yet, the inane posting of random nonsense to strangers at all hours. His life consisted of Depeche Mode, ZX Spectrum games and Silvrikin hairspray.

However complications were about to arise as there he spotted the person who was going to change his life. No, not Steve Kirk. The badge proclaimed a simple message "Miss Riding Hood" and as their eyes met across the crowded floor an immediate connection was felt. Blonde, understanding, long-suffering and with a rare genetic condition allowing her to filter out random inane conversation from her aural cavities, she was he felt likely to make a perfect partner.

This was confirmed on their first date, going to see "Footloose" at the Tottenham Odeon. As their feet tapped away in time to the catchy tunes and their fingers entwined he knew this was his destiny. Little did he know that she was merely wishing that he was Kevin Bacon, but as ever discretion and tact were her watchword. His feelings of destiny were confirmed when she did not walk off as he discussed the hidden meanings in Depeche Mode's "People are People" over a Wimpy burger afterwards.

Eighteen months later he popped the question.

"Hoody, A Flock of Seagulls or China Crisis, which do you prefer?"

then he followed it with another question

"for the moment you seem to filter me out quite well, therefore will you marry me?"   

In fact eventually he had to write the question down so skilled had she become at nodding sagely while not actually listening

She agreed and life moved on apace. They moved to London Colney into a small starter home and within a few years there was the pitter patter of tiny feet. As the internet still hadn't been invented his career was still continuing its upward path allowing them soon to trade up to St Albans. More children arrived and life was on a steady track.

Then, the fateful day. He  purchased a Dell computer, discovered google and clicked on a link to "Paradise Poker". Mrs Hood was secretly relieved as the strain of pretending to listen to him was getting to her after twelve years. Even when he went to work there was no escape as every fifteen minutes the phone would call with the random observations of her spouse. Now however, there was blessed silence. Entranced by the onlinezz, engaged by the communitiezz he was discovering on the internetzz, Darren had become a more solitary and withdrawn figure. Mrs Hood was delighted and could for the first time in a decade get a word in edgeways.

Posting on internet fora began slowly for Darren. At first, restricting himself to seventeen posts a day on "Cheesey Poker" a site he had discovered by entering the words "Poker hour north of London" and navigating all sorts of unsavoury sites at the top of the listings, he was intrigued that no one actually answered his posts.

Then moving into the live poker environment at the old Luton card-room he would happily sit for hours folding all hands, including Aces, playing the long game, lulling his opponents into a false sense of security. False in the sense that he was a quiet and shy man. Correct in the sense that he was clueless how to play poker. 

On moving to the new premises Darren felt emboldened to begin to reveal his true self. Discovering a love of cheap gassy lager, purchasing an IPhone, opening an account on blonde Poker and occasionally playing a hand he created a new persona. A person with character.

It wasn't long before he was addicted. His post count rose in line with his alcohol consumption, he taught his wife and son Poker, so he says, and soon the whole family became mainstays of Hertfordhsire and Bedfordshire Poker. Soon after that the natural talent of his family began to subsidise his hobby and his guilt at his inability to contribute to the family holiday fund manifested itself in a rampant insecurity whenever the veracity of his clearly fictitious monthly totals were publically questioned for all to see,

At the same time his career had stalled, as somehow he could not find the time to do any work but a life nurturing his eighteen year old wunderkind poker protege beckoned instead.

Twenty one years on and the now Mrs Riding Hood stands tall as one of life's great survivors. Not for her the one in three marriage break ups that litter the divorce courts. No, she is a poker heroine. Married to a poker clown, mother to a poker protege, heaven knows how she survives. Well never missing a flop and frequently hitting quads helps.

I give you a toast to Drain Alien and Little Red Riding Hood. Where would this thread be without them? Apart from quieter. More high brow. Readable.

[The_nun]

 

[Chompy]

Name                 Played Won  2nd  3rd  Other   Pts      Score
2Tight               5      1    0    0    1       28       5.60
Ericredkite          6      0    0    1    2       28       4.67
The Baron            4      0    0    0    2       17       4.25
Winkie               10     1    0    0    3       37       3.70
Greg Sighmuns        19     3    0    0    2       70       3.68
Celtic               18     3    0    0    2       65       3.61
Boer Wars            59     7    2    4    9       206      3.49
Sir Donksalot        29     2    1    2    3       93       3.21
Simon G              11     0    1    1    2       33       3.00
Jonnyplum            42     3    1    1    6       120      2.86
Luther               60     3    1    3    10      168      2.80
Claw                 18     2    1    0    0       45       2.50
Chompy               32     3    2    0    2       79       2.47
G-Rodge              34     2    1    2    4       81       2.38
Drain Alien          27     1    1    0    6       63       2.33
Tikay                19     1    1    0    2       44       2.32
Handsome Paul        18     2    0    0    0       39       2.17
Tightend             10     0    0    1    2       21       2.10
Holdyfoldy           22     0    0    1    6       46       2.09
China Mug            66     0    4    2    10      132      2.00
LittleRedRidingHood  21     1    1    0    3       42       2.00
British Gas          25     0    2    0    3       50       2.00
Pizzled              40     2    1    1    4       76       1.90
Ropey Flush          8      0    1    0    0       15       1.88
Evil Edna            62     4    0    1    5       114      1.84
Free Rollin          5      0    0    1    0       9        1.80
Unimaginative        29     2    0    1    2       50       1.72
Lucky                31     2    1    0    1       53       1.71
Rockstar             67     2    2    1    8       114      1.70
Xpressman            38     1    1    2    2       62       1.63
Dingdell             18     1    1    0    0       27       1.50
Nirvana              50     1    1    2    3       73       1.46
W4SP                 8      0    0    0    1       11       1.38
Alex                 9      0    0    0    1       9        1.00
RUHolding            19     0    1    0    0       17       0.89
Jeff Buff            6      0    0    0    1       5        0.83
Gamblor              2      0    0    0    0       0        0
Inthebelly           3      0    0    0    0       0        0
Pelham Boy           5      0    0    0    0       0        0
Snatiramas           5      0    0    0    0       0        0

Updated up to Wed 5 May

May table
Name                 Won  2nd  3rd  Other   Pts
Handsome Paul        1    0    0    0       18
British Gas          0    1    0    0       15
Drainy               1    0    0    0       15
Nirvana              0    0    0    1       10
Luther               0    0    1    0       9
Rockstar             0    0    1    0       9
Pizzled              0    0    0    1       6
_____________________________________________
Holdy                0    0    0    1       5

Fantasy League
'Gotcha' (A.Gotch)                               523
'G-Man's Perfect Night In' (G.Rodge)             495
'The Rock-Steady Crew' (P.Noonan)                397
'Jonny’s Plums' (D.Johnson)                      391
'Re-Binked' (A.McBride)                          383
'A Glass Half Full' (G.Henderson)                377
'Most Of The Time They Can't Call' (G.Wheldon)   374
'Fake Madrid' (G.Symons)                         353
'Edna's All Stars' (E.Adams)                     342
'Prime Beef' (J.Buffenbarger)                    326
'Holdorfantasyfolk' (M.Bashir)                   321
'Deer's Testicles FTW' (G.Kan)                   318
'Hurrah, It's The Luton Rifles' (M.Jarvis)       304
'Alien Attack' (D.Allen)                         304
'TV's Anthony Kendall' (A.Kendall)               302
'Property Express All-Stars' (I.Needleman)       281
'I'll Never Be As Good As Chompy' (V.Calenti)    269
'Muck All In' (C.Poulton)                        258
'Ball Till U Fall’ (A.Martin)                    248
'Last Men Standing' (P.Ephremsen)                232
'Sad Muppet Time' (D.Colton)                     220
'If You Can't Beat'Em, Join'Em' (G.Dealer)       212
____________________________________________________
'League Of Unlikely Donklemen' (D.Onksalot)      210

It's not much of an anniversary present I'm afraid but Drainy has already been usurped at the top of the monthly table. After just 24 hours to enjoy his majestic Tit Tuesday victory.
Not only has Handsome Paul eased past him thanks to the bonus system but Gas de Foster's has been joined Gas de British in second. No, not a misprint, British Gas finished SECOND last night!
Saver points to Holdyfoldy for ninth (5), with other notable names at the final table including the mullet-sporting crooner M.Bolton and Joshua Matrix-Twin, both of whom will be available for selection in the next fantasy competition.
Also, well played Tighty.

A good night for Handsome Paul in the fantasy league thanks to picking himself and British Gas, while Alex 'That'll teach you, now **** off' Martin also eases he's relegation fears thanks to HP's 18pt haul.

Sir Donksalot is back at the bottom of the fantasy league

[LittleRedRidingHood]

WOW - just been reading all the posts relating to some anniversary celabration in the Alien household.

Thankyou for all your good wishes and interesting posts.

Yes i am some sort of saint to have lasted 21 years married to the Drain but i am looking forward to many more.

As for plans for tonite am i sure my hubby will have planned something special, no doubt it will involve poker or the G or probably both.

[Dingdell]

Name                 Played Won  2nd  3rd  Other   Pts      Score
2Tight               5      1    0    0    1       28       5.60
Ericredkite          6      0    0    1    2       28       4.67
The Baron            4      0    0    0    2       17       4.25
Winkie               10     1    0    0    3       37       3.70
Greg Sighmuns        19     3    0    0    2       70       3.68
Celtic               18     3    0    0    2       65       3.61
Boer Wars            59     7    2    4    9       206      3.49
Sir Donksalot        29     2    1    2    3       93       3.21
Simon G              11     0    1    1    2       33       3.00
Jonnyplum            42     3    1    1    6       120      2.86
Luther               60     3    1    3    10      168      2.80
Claw                 18     2    1    0    0       45       2.50
Chompy               32     3    2    0    2       79       2.47
G-Rodge              34     2    1    2    4       81       2.38
Drain Alien          27     1    1    0    6       63       2.33
Tikay                19     1    1    0    2       44       2.32
Handsome Paul        18     2    0    0    0       39       2.17
Tightend             10     0    0    1    2       21       2.10
Holdyfoldy           22     0    0    1    6       46       2.09
China Mug            66     0    4    2    10      132      2.00
LittleRedRidingHood  21     1    1    0    3       42       2.00
British Gas          25     0    2    0    3       50       2.00
Pizzled              40     2    1    1    4       76       1.90
Ropey Flush          8      0    1    0    0       15       1.88
Evil Edna            62     4    0    1    5       114      1.84
Free Rollin          5      0    0    1    0       9        1.80
Unimaginative        29     2    0    1    2       50       1.72
Lucky                31     2    1    0    1       53       1.71
Rockstar             67     2    2    1    8       114      1.70
Xpressman            38     1    1    2    2       62       1.63
Dingdell             18     1    1    0    0       27       1.50
Nirvana              50     1    1    2    3       73       1.46
W4SP                 8      0    0    0    1       11       1.38
Alex                 9      0    0    0    1       9        1.00
RUHolding            19     0    1    0    0       17       0.89
Jeff Buff            6      0    0    0    1       5        0.83
Gamblor              2      0    0    0    0       0        0
Inthebelly           3      0    0    0    0       0        0
Pelham Boy           5      0    0    0    0       0        0
Snatiramas           5      0    0    0    0       0        0

Updated up to Wed 5 May

May table
Name                 Won  2nd  3rd  Other   Pts
Handsome Paul        1    0    0    0       18
British Gas          0    1    0    0       15
Drainy               1    0    0    0       15
Nirvana              0    0    0    1       10
Luther               0    0    1    0       9
Rockstar             0    0    1    0       9
Pizzled              0    0    0    1       6

Fantasy League
'Gotcha' (A.Gotch)                               523
'G-Man's Perfect Night In' (G.Rodge)             495
'The Rock-Steady Crew' (P.Noonan)                397
'Jonny’s Plums' (D.Johnson)                      391
'Re-Binked' (A.McBride)                          383
'A Glass Half Full' (G.Henderson)                377
'Most Of The Time They Can't Call' (G.Wheldon)   374
'Fake Madrid' (G.Symons)                         353
'Edna's All Stars' (E.Adams)                     342
'Prime Beef' (J.Buffenbarger)                    326
'Holdorfantasyfolk' (M.Bashir)                   321
'Deer's Testicles FTW' (G.Kan)                   318
'Hurrah, It's The Luton Rifles' (M.Jarvis)       304
'Alien Attack' (D.Allen)                         304
'TV's Anthony Kendall' (A.Kendall)               302
'Property Express All-Stars' (I.Needleman)       281
'I'll Never Be As Good As Chompy' (V.Calenti)    269
'Muck All In' (C.Poulton)                        258
'Ball Till U Fall’ (A.Martin)                    248
'Last Men Standing' (P.Ephremsen)                232
'Sad Muppet Time' (D.Colton)                     220
'If You Can't Beat'Em, Join'Em' (G.Dealer)       212
____________________________________________________
'League Of Unlikely Donklemen' (D.Onksalot)      210

It's not much of an anniversary present I'm afraid but Drainy has already been usurped at the top of the monthly table. After just 24 hours to enjoy his majestic Tit Tuesday victory.
Not only has Handsome Paul eased past him thanks to the bonus system but Gas de Foster's has been joined Gas de British in second. No, not a misprint, British Gas finished SECOND last night!
Saver points to Holdyfoldy for ninth (5), with other notable names at the final table including the mullet-sporting crooner M.Bolton and Joshua Matrix-Twin, both of whom will be available for selection in the next fantasy competition.
Also, well played Tighty.

A good night for Handsome Paul in the fantasy league thanks to picking himself and British Gas, while Alex 'That'll teach you, now **** off' Martin also eases he's relegation fears thanks to HP's 18pt haul.

Sir Donksalot is back at the bottom of the fantasy league

FFS - it's the Mormon twins! Does no one get the reference?

[the sicilian]

Just sigh at my fantasy team...

Snatty ( I don't like poker anymore ) cooklin
Alan ( im not binking anymore ) mcbink
Dennis ( i might as well be in the usa for all the fucking good i am )
Celtic ( watch me donk my chips )
Dean ( carry my team to 2nd bottom if im lucky ) Morris

[Chompy]

Just got back from the gym to find a host of congratulatory texts for Drainy and Drainetta on their 21st anniversary:

"Wow man, like that's a lot of years, 21, like freaking blackjack! [bangs table]" - USADennis
"I don't give a rat's arse how many years it is, Drainy can shove it up his bridal gown" - Birdforum
"Who's Drainy and what's an annivesay?" - Seb
"That'll teach you to get married. Now f*** off!" - Jim McBride
"I can't believe it, I've been in tears all morning" - Alex Martin

[the sicilian]

I had like a proper nice start to the day today with breakfast in bed comprising of a croissant with TWO kinds of jams, a mug of sweet tea, some strawberries and - get this - a bottle of bucks fizz. Plus a couple of cards and a yellow rose on the tray, obv.

Mrs Alien has put up wiv me for 21 years, and I STILL get special surprise mornings like that.
Ahhhh.

Anyway, I have a v v busy day at work today so unlikely to be reading or posting much as I need to get head down and get lots of stuff sorted, so that I can depart early doors for this evening's continued celebrations.

[ ]  Birdforum will be upset to hear that I won't be posting much.

Ciao.

      DrainyFish. 

Sigh .... you know youve been married 21 years when the wife wakes you up with tea & toast instead of a blow job... 

Many Congrats loved up Draineys....

[Drain Alien]

Just got back from the gym to find a host of congratulatory texts for Drainy and Drainetta on their 21st anniversary:

"Wow man, like that's a lot of years, 21, like freaking blackjack! [bangs table]" - USADennis
"I don't give a rat's arse how many years it is, Drainy can shove it up his bridal gown" - Birdforum
"Who's Drainy and what's an annivesay?" - Seb
"That'll teach you to get married. Now f*** off!" - Jim McBride
"I can't believe it, I've been in tears all morning" - Alex Martin

wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii - I'm back!

Just catching u on de thread after ridic biz mornin in the orrifice

most  amusing post from mr ch10 mpy
(wasn't it a fat rat's arse tho?)

vwp to tighty; legendary post imo. Pretty spot on actually, tho  a few minor adjustments (FYP to follow)

As for sicilidonk's lewd suggestion, that woz the starter, obv

off to read more. Look out Birdforum I may post LOTS more yet!

Drainy

[Drain Alien]

WOW - just been reading all the posts relating to some anniversary celebration in the Alien household.

Thankyou for all your good wishes and interesting posts.

Yes i am some sort of saint to have lasted 21 years married to the Drain but i am looking forward to many more.

As for plans for tonite am i sure my hubby will have planned something special, no doubt it will involve poker or the G or probably both.

+1 from me too - thanks all

with regard to this evening, it  sounds like alien fave sea bass and a bottle of Chablis for dinner.
we need to confirm timing tho - what time does registration close in tonight's comp? (Jeeves of wheatleys has already offered to drive)

;-)

Mr Red Riding Hood; of 21 years as of about now.....(3pm kick-off)

[Drain Alien]

Can someone remind me, which ones are the matrix twins again?

[HOLDorFOLD]

 

CONGRATULATIONS DRAINY AND LITTLE MRS RED RIDING HOOD
Lets see if Drainy has sussed this one out though ..... Drainy your a very lucky man to have Tracey, breakfast in bed with the starter thrown in after all these years :-)



Seems like all the stops have been pulled out today with these brilliant posts (Tighty, top of the class sir, and Flex .... sigh at you lower in the tone (not that I didn't PMSL when I read it  )


Sorry to clog this congratulatory post with League Business matters but CH10 MPY® .... OI, COUGH, I seem to be missing out of May's Points table ... is that cos you iz pizzed at having to go on cash whilst waiting for the game of scrabble that never was 


[ x ] I sure won't mention knocking out a certain pair of animal testicles last night ... sigh at the jibs I received after that!