Prose from a Poshboy

[titaniumbean]

Boshi playing k7? Pfft.

He should only be playing aa and kk pre like normal

he called my utg raise as well

offsuit? pls be offsuit

I rele want it to be off of the suits!!! Boshi using his tight image ftw

[Free_Rollin]

Boshi playing k7? Pfft.

He should only be playing aa and kk pre like normal

he called my utg raise as well

offsuit? pls be offsuit

It's called double suited Dave, get it right!

[kinboshi]

Boshi playing k7? Pfft.

He should only be playing aa and kk pre like normal

he called my utg raise as well

offsuit? pls be offsuit

Of course they were double-sooted, two flush draws ftw.

You raised to £7 and there were 16 callers (as usual).

[cambridgealex]

sure were. We saw the flop 4ways.

[cambridgealex]

[ ] Good easter weekend

Not gonna go into detail cos let's face it, no-one wants to hear bad beat stories, but I do need to air my thoughts and this is my diary so I don't really care if no-one wants to read it,

I'm pretty depressed about life right now, everytime I think things are turning around, a couple of lucky hands, a couple of nice winning sessions I get my hopes up for an upswing then just get battered in some brutal way. Played almost 20 hours at DTD in the last 2 days in really good games vs some absolutely terrible players. It's not that I lost a lot, I didn't. I've just been grinding so hard, playing really good for really long sessions, being 50up, 100up etc taken so many bad beats along the way but grinding back up then just getting battered. Last night it was the last hand of the night. Tonight it was half an hour of constantly getting rivered for mediumsized pots. I went for a break with Andy and I was 150 up, 30mins later I was down 85 and I hadn't put more than £30 in any hand. 235bb swing just in £15,20 £30 bets, constantly getting outdrawn I felt like crying. Feel really down.

It would be easier to accept and come to terms with it all if my fellow pro buddies occasionaly went through similar runs. Simon (Deadman) just binks deepstacks and final tables 1/5 comps, Andy wins like 9/10 sessions and Mitch, well, Mitch runs like Mitch. I'm not saying I'm as good as them, I'm not, but I'm not so much worse that I deserve to have such differing fortunes. Whilst Andy is waiting for a 1/2 seat he sits and plays 50/1 for a bit, dunno what happened, a few coolers but within an hour or something he's up 300. It just doesn't seem fair. I hate sounding this bitter and jealous. I know they're horrible personality traits. But this is just how I feel at the moment.

Really don't know if I can take feeling like this for long or go through this every 2/3/6/12months whichever it is. When am I going to have that heater? Soon please.

[titaniumbean]

sample sizes dude!!!

live can be sooooooo tilting. grinding online ftw.


btw hating anyone who runs well enough to win a big tournament is standard!

[david3103]

Damnit man - I was going to start my own diary this week, Had a title and a theme all ready in my mind; Grumpy Granddad's Groans was going to start with a piece about how everybody but me seems to be able to win big.
Now you've stolen that first post and all I'm really left with is a few bad beat stories which don't even involve one-outers (actually one of them does, and it was the first sign I was running into some stormy waters but, meh, whatever)

Those £20-£30 bets/calls mount up pretty quick anywhere, but on 8-handed tables with shuffle machines a handful of missed FD/OESD or attempted steals can add up to £235 pretty quickly.

Out of interest, how much do you review your play? Do you take notes? Depend on memory pre/post-sleep?

[jakally]

Alex, I don't know how much you discuss results with Andy, Mitch and Simon, but I think you are very wrong if you have the impression that they aren't experiencing the same kind of frustrations as you. I'm pretty sure each one of them has had a pretty bad period of results within the last 3 - 4 months.
If you can't take the hits and maintain a  positive demeanor, you've got to ask yourself whether, long term, this is the thing for you.

Whatever, today starts a new week. Put the last one behind you, and have a good one this week.

[tikay]

Alex,

I could write a very long (& probably boring) reply to your Post, but you would not enjoy it, I fancy.

So I'll refrain, but try & step back a bit, & have a little "reflect".

Then ask yourself a simple question.

Do you really enjoy poker? I mean, not just when you win, but overall, & on balance?

If it tilts/saddens you this much, is it wise to continue?

Maybe, as an alternative, you could look at poker from a different angle......

I'd really like to engage at length with you on this, as I don't like to see young lads gettng their heads in that state over a hobby, or recreation. It just makes no sense.

In the highly unlikely event that you feel like having that debate, let me know, as I have some fairly firm views on what's happening here.

PS - And yes, it's your Diary, & you should Post exactly what you feel, & think. It'll get you in hot water sometimes, but better to be honest.

[leethefish]

my veiw is
 when poker gets you down like this ....take time out a week at least come back and crush again !!

i had a month off recently (both live and online) only lasted three weeks !!
the point being when i started playing again i loved it again.

[mondatoo]

Sick sick rubs from tikay.

Seriously though, don't ask yourself whether you enjoy it, but whether you enjoy it more than having a proper job. If the answers yes then stop being down about it, know how luck you are and grind through the variance. I only say that because that's how I look it at when my confidence is low and things are going bad. I don't know anyone in poker who's confidence hasn't taken a hit when things are going bad, no matter how good they are. I believe this is your first proper downswing yeah ? The harshness of it gets easier and dealing with the swings will be a major factor to how long you last doing this. It seems like a few good players on here who grind the pokers think your good enough to do it so that should give you confidence you need. If your mood continues to swing so much like that based on results then I'd genuinely suggest doing something else.

[cambridgealex]

Alex, I don't know how much you discuss results with Andy, Mitch and Simon, but I think you are very wrong if you have the impression that they aren't experiencing the same kind of frustrations as you. I'm pretty sure each one of them has had a pretty bad period of results within the last 3 - 4 months.

Yes I discuss results all the time with them - I know Mitch and Simon have had downswings, but the point is, they've had massive upswings in that time too.

If you can't take the hits and maintain a  positive demeanor, you've got to ask yourself whether, long term, this is the thing for you.

Yes that's what worries me, maybe it's not.

[tikay]

Sick sick rubs from tikay.

Seriously though, don't ask yourself whether you enjoy it, but whether you enjoy it more than having a proper job. If the answers yes then stop being down about it, know how luck you are and grind through the variance. I only say that because that's how I look it at when my confidence is low and things are going bad. I don't know anyone in poker who's confidence hasn't taken a hit when things are going bad no matter how good they are. I believe this is your first proper downswing yeah ? The harshness of it gets easier and dealing with the swings will be a major factor to how long you last doing this as it seems like a few good players on here who grind the pokers think your good enough to do it so that should give you confidence boost you need. If your mood continues to swing so much like that based on results then I'd genuinely suggest doing something else.

?

[mondatoo]

Sick sick rubs from tikay.

Seriously though, don't ask yourself whether you enjoy it, but whether you enjoy it more than having a proper job. If the answers yes then stop being down about it, know how luck you are and grind through the variance. I only say that because that's how I look it at when my confidence is low and things are going bad. I don't know anyone in poker who's confidence hasn't taken a hit when things are going bad no matter how good they are. I believe this is your first proper downswing yeah ? The harshness of it gets easier and dealing with the swings will be a major factor to how long you last doing this as it seems like a few good players on here who grind the pokers think your good enough to do it so that should give you confidence boost you need. If your mood continues to swing so much like that based on results then I'd genuinely suggest doing something else.

?

It's not a hobby for Alex.

[cambridgealex]

Tikay, when I look over the past 6months there isn't anything I'd rather have done - I don't think how much I like it is in question here. I love it. And I'm being completely honest there. Maybe just reading this diary gives a slightly biased view of how much - I always post after sessions, so over the last 2-3months I've been at bit miserable generally directly afterwards. This morning, I've woken up and my first thought was "Oh well, never mind about yesterday, let's do better today". That and "Oh no I wrote that horrible whinging post on blonde last night!". I'm sure anyone that knew me well could post on here testifying to how much I love it.

I think the question is whether I can take it. I'm not sure yet, it's hard, but I'm still young trying to figure it all out. I think I can, because I haven't woken up this morning feeling like fk poker I don't wanna play again. I wanna get back in the ring and fight through it!