china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary

[china mug]

who am i kidding two more hours ...no cards to play now all the other players are nicking my blind when ever possible so i dont even see the flop with my 8 3 or q 4 ,its mathermaticaley immpossible to not get any hands for so long.....
nope it isnt,reduced to 9ooo ish i have to take the plunge with ten jack on a jack high board onley to find julian raiseing after im all in with king jack ,im out of the game....to rebuy or not to rebuy....with my attrotiouse form is it a waiste to invest another 430 pounds,saw del and wife from luton plus addee some thing del said about the value struck a cord...the price pool is now 225 k ish ...sod it the value is there
rebuy please,thank you
new table last hour ,guy i think called rasyafish ,black with jamaican coloured wrist bands is running all over the table and hitting last card.....it was both wonderful and fearful to behold and the chat as he did it ,any one he tangled with darnt raise him because he was calling no look ,raising no look ect,and then what ever hand he was up against he would hit his card on the river....
i had one hand with him blinds are say  6 12 he makes it 4500 ,haven looked this time i look down at a q suited im all in for my 22000 odd around to him ,hes asking me do i want a call....got to give the right answer ,too cheeky or flippant and disrespectful and he could easley call me from his 150000 odd stack,..well i reply the truth is i want you to pass im happy to take whats out there,other players are joining the fun ...shut up you ffffkrs let him pass,dont goad him into calling....this is the first hand youve played since you sat down ,...about 40 mins ago...you must be beating me and might be domminateing me ,i pass he says and shows k 10 suited.....thank you poker angels for that small bone
end of day one 39500 to come back with
so now im in a taxi 6 quid fare to my hotel come b and b ,its called the harley...if you think harley you could think of harley street in london a street of excellance in medicine and doctoring ,or so there  fees would have you beleave...or perhaps you might think of harley davison motor bikes ,the open road robert redford and jack nicholson thunderring along route 66 in there famouse film ,.....
well in sheffield its something else
when the taxi pulled up i thought i hope my hotel isnt too close to that noisey large pub on the corner ,with the pounding music at 2 am and the door men telling some guy ..you know i cant let you in ...check the house numbers
yes you did wonder why all the other b and bs and hotels where full and would have cost around 65 to 115 for a night when i looked on the internet and yes i was chuffed to find a empty space to book at short notice for onley 39 pounds ensuite with breakfast,on the pub wall the sign ..the harley,
in we go bar maid ,paid up ,key ,bedroom sheets look good rest of room scuffed ,shower area that you know you will get athletes ffoot of ,im on third floor if i had a glass of water on the bedside cabinate it would have been vibrateing like the scene in jurasic park where they havnt seen any dinasoures yet but they hear one comeing
how on earth am i expected to sleep thru this ,head touched pillow flipped thru tv chanels wheeehay im gone ,ten hours of poker and british rail  late trains wins out ,next thing i know its morning

tbc

[china mug]

woke up in harleys ,down stairs into bar area for breakfast table with food and toaster set up where the night before a load of troggish student types had been muching about with there bottles of what ever the media of the day had told them to drink
nice bubbley girl called loise serves me ,she chats  even though she is clearley busy ,food arives in the form of a english breakfast ...very good...things are getting better,i keep thinking about the absolute card desert i was in last night ....but then hey players that did get good stuff are gone you are thru to day two ,yea thats right ..a few nice hands today and it will all even out...
i chat to loise a bit more ,i think she sees that im all on my own in a strange town,i tell her what im doing in sheffield she tells me shes getting a deggree in socioligy,i tip her a poundget my bag and decide to walk to the casino in order to get some exercise to combat all the sitting about ive bean thru and am faceing..
i follow the tram lines down hill,its saturday morning...the shops buildings are all of a certain style of brick with terracotta type window and door fetures...then on the corner of a street you find new office block with loads of modern construction materials ....i pass a cheque casher we buy gold type place ,parrasites...i also pass several hair salons with old ladys haveing some student wash and cut there fast finning locks...a scalp any self respecting appache would thow back... whielst listning to there customers and agreeing with there every word ,probley laughing at there jokes ec tcapitalism at its finest ,both parties get a bargain...the old lady has a career to sound of to and be applauded to while she douse it ,her own family probley being too busy...and the worker nod nod smile ,hair hair  chat chat equals money
further down the hill theres a turn thru a main shopping street a saturday market is on with tents of various traders im drawn over to listen to 4 street musians a nice reprive there music is violins and bangos the sound is like a jig you would expect to see around a cowboy camp fire just a bit more classy than the yiptaa and wheee brigade you getat line dancing....i notice all the passing people are enjoying the street theatre  a few are putting a coin into the open music case at the front of the group out side marks and sparkstwo little kids are doing a jig interpretation of danceing,a guy of my right gets his camera out and is filming the musitians....then his colleagues go over serve some papers on them and close them down .....well done sheffield enforcement depr ,the crowd give a ripple of applause and turn on back to the shops...
on thru the shoppers i ask direction of a guy at bhs up there down the underpass ect....i do so and im at the rail way with that bloody great hill to climb again ...up there straight on would have tacken me to the casino...it seems i dont need a car to get lost ...sigh and so into casino...this is going to be my day ...im owed ...i must get some of the good stuff that every one else gets like turning on a tap ....its my turn dam it ...bring it on..

tbc

[china mug]

Right I'm really going to have to finish this Sheffield Blog, as I went to Nottingham and have got "Blog Lag"................
Day two into Gentings Casino, Del (Luton Regular) is through as is a couple of other Blondettes..... So on with the game.........
Card Bloody Dry again! If you did this to a Dog the RSPCA would ban you from having any animal again EVER! Gerbils, Mice, Stick Insects.......anything.
Dinner break, a load of us are over to the pub across the road for a nice meal, just getting out of the Casino and into a different environment is not to be underestimated. Then back to game, ninety minutes left to play a guy in seat nine shoves again on my big blind I look down  , I know he's "at it" ......I've got 120,000 he has 102,000.........so this is it, think about it a bit longer then call. He had  CARDS on BACKS dealer deals first three cards face down, turns them over exposing the top card is a three. Then he starts to spread them and the second card is a  .....at this point I let slip a small exclamation and uttered something like "Yes!" then like an outbreak of Verruca's which you know is going to come it's just a matter of when? the dealer exposes the third card another bloody  ...........the other player does a piss take mimicking me saying "Yes!".........! Rest of flop was no help, I am reduced to under 20,000 chips.
Played out the rest of the time allocated, ends up that I'm coming back for the final day with 69,500 chips.
Now the problem is I have not got a Hotel room for the night, I ask everyone, James from the Luton Gentings is most helpful by phoning round to no avail as there is no room at the Inn...........So now I have taken on three pints of Lager, found an armchair and settled down. Two Asian gentlemen who are watching the Roulette engaged me in conversation and proceed to tell me about all their Roulette "Bad Beat" stories, I tell them a true story of how a countryman of theirs in Luton who knew me to nod to in the street had asked me for advice on the subject of......."did I think if he played Roulette and won £50 each time and then went home, would the Casino ban him?".......I was able to assure him that they would not ban him for playing Roulette........He further explained that sometimes he loses a £1000 per night of his shops takings but he reckons there is always a point where he loses a little bit then wins a little bit and loses a little bit if he just stopped when he was £50 up he would be very happy............
The two men depart and I am left to my own thoughts, it's now 4am and the next thing I know a security guard has loomed up in front of me and asked "are you alright?", to which I replied "Yes" .......then he said " You no sleeping here!! " in a eastern European accent, fantastic!!! I now have to force myself to stay awake..........7.00am having a cup of tea with a lad who was in the game, the waitress mentions that there is a Hotel with vacancies. Straight on phone, in cab, into hotel which is usually £70 pppn ( special deal if I vacate room by 12 noon £50 ) I'm knackered and wishing I had the information a lot earlier...........

TBC

[china mug]

right lets finish the sheffield trip....
next morning im out of the hotel ,taxi bag into casino cloak room ....time for a walk up town ,again so im out casino door turn right two hundred yards turn right  and its town centre all the way ,theres a xmas feel to the shoppers as i walk along i approach the same group of challay huts that act as a market at which i saw the street musicians given there marching orders the other day so its pass the wall paper paste table with the couple of guys displaying socialist worker and banners saying troops out of iraq...or afganistan,in my day it was troops out of northern ireland...so nothing realy changes just the location and the hat style....
i pass a 15 ish maybe 17 ish lad busking with a violin ,hes sedatley putting out a xmas carol ,i muse as to if he has a licence or will the enforcement men give him a move along visit...i see a chalet selling hot punch and bear ect i make a note to have a coffee there if i dont get tempted by any thing better...nice rosy atmasphere of the shoppers in the challey....pass a paste table this time a couple of asina guys with a copy of the karan on display ,strangley enouth the other exihibit on there stall seems to be little bags of maltesers choaclates,so the message would appear to be find the true god and get some sweaties presumeabley if you bring a friend you get a twix bar...
popped into a phone shop msorted out some info i needed on my mobile....
time to wander back thru market so im into drinks challey ,coffee and mince pie all the time when not soaking up the vibe of the town and people my thoughts are on the game and what i need to do....i know what i have to do but the timeing has to be right....too soon disaster....too late the same....i seem to allways to equate it to like climbing mount evereast if you fall when 200 yards up the rock face your dead and out, if you fall when your just 200 yards from the summit your just as dead and just as out...when to make the laep ,you take a girl out...go to get a snog her too soon disaster go to get a snogher  too late and disaster ....maybe i should just have a sign to pull out saying free snogs,like the free hugs guy on the internet...
haneing my coffee i see a family ...mum dad kid in pram,dad tells girl selling drinks hell have a double jamiesons...then adds some little joke about keeping the cold out....no mate your pushing your kid in a pram across streets with trucks and cars and your haveing alchahol which would lose you youre licence if you were driveing ...maybe if youre lucky santa will bring you one of those man bikes with a little trailer that you put your kid in and tow him behind you just at the covient height of lorry wheels...and so back into the casin  i head...pass the violin player who is still playing the same xmas carol ...away in the manger type tosh,hey kid if you want to part xmas shoppers with the odd coin ,one sodding carol on a loop aint going to do it ....

im on the feature table guy from d4 poker gives me my 15 secounds of fame with a microphone and internet ,as he mutteres awy about my grinding ability i agree and say ive got one bullett every one else has a machine gun....on with the game as expected im not allowed to see a flop then i go all in pass pass pass ,more hands no flop for me to see the guy that damaged me just before the end of day two with his 3 6 off hitting two goese out i find a peverse satisfaction in knowing that with my so few chips ive lasted longer than him ,also i feel pissed of that had i had his chips i know i would have gone further than him ...
im under the gun ace ten suited magic pure gold compared to all the dross ive bean getting here we go all in get the union jack out to plant on the top of evereast ,iiiimmmm baccckkkk....billocks straight into the big blinds ace queen who snappes me of and im frrefalling of the mountain and theres no handy ledges or soft snow drifts to be seen aaaaahhhhhhhhh,
and back in the room shake hands all round ....another suitcase in another hall ...im gone
on the walk back to the train ,down hill this time i pass the bush on the chimney pot him up there me down here but both of us blowing in the wind he i conclude him doing it with more style than me...and so i  pass the wall of steel and water not a urinal i decide more a golden sphere ,it just wasnt my time to get inside yet.....
sheffield goodbye i shall return

[china mug]

nottingham  100k gt played ,didnt win whent home with a mosses.....small profit
nottingham most deffinatley i will return







i assume no one wants the long version

[celtic]

nottingham  100k gt played ,didnt win whent home with a mosses.....small profit
nottingham most deffinatley i will return







i assume no one wants the long version

Why not?

[Chompy]

Thought you'd like to know Thomas, Gav is becoming something of a fan of yours. Sayed you've obv got a lot of skills to keep faring best of Lutoners in the bigger tourneys.

[celtic]

Definitely the best player in Luton atm. Not even close.

[smashedagain]

Definitely the best player in Luton atm. Not even close.

yeah but John Black has been working away

[I KNOW IT]

I love this diary, keep up the trip reports .

BTW is this Ironsides spoof account ?

[china mug]

just got in from luton g ,apparantley one of the luton regs who is also very prominent on this blonde site was caught nicking some xmas decorations.......it is reported that he tried to claim that some one else must have put them in his hoody while he was playing poker...as a lot of honest people will know this is the standard answer on page 5 of the shop lifters manual when stopped outside a hmv music store .......of cource a man is innocent until proven guilty in this country
,but as there have already been numerious tales of inaccurcies from him when self scoreing at scrabble ,coupled with the fact that the never seems to be any loo paper left in any of the cubicles or liquid soap and hand lotion  after he uses the wash room any clear thinking person will have to agree the likeley hood of him being innocent is about as likeley as all the lady poker players in luton g doing a xmas calander in the nude for the one eyed flying green newt society
further damming evedence is also emerging as it seems that variouse upstanding citacerns being so appalled at the brazen nature of his his approperation of the decorations laid on by the good and kindley people at luton g ,that they took pictures of him with his ill gotten gains....im given to understand that the video tape of this crime is as we speak being edited into a viral music sketch with the voice of bart simpson singing...it wasnt me i didnt do it ,eat my shorts...

in order to give a balanced unbiased report of the event i feel i should mention that mad maggie who hangs out by the skips offering thai massages at one pound a go ,states she knows he is innocent as he never gave her any dud coins in all the years she has known him and she will soon be sporting a tea shirt saying...free the luton one...sigh
wheather hes innocent or guilty ...who knows ...of cource im not going to mention his name here ,but if he ever douse give me 1000 to 1 odds for a 20 pound bet i shall have to ask for the money up front.....

[china mug]

sky poker 110 event
or
the story of 0


not to be confused with the story of o
so as with everyone else with designs on poker glory i turn up at luton g at 10 to 12 saturday morning as we have been told the last 30 tickets will be on sale then......bought ticket....now what to do im in luton and theres two hours to the comp;....obviouse innit as raj would say,i head of down town....charity shop i buy 6 music discs at a pound each ...one is 10cents  boy has that guy got some issues ...every other word is n... this or n... that and when hea not n... all other the place hes glock and 9mm,not the sort of person you would want to slow roll...
out of  the shop town paved precint and there are about 12 carol singers giveing it some welly and rattling collection buckets,i pop into the 99 p shop and get a bag of party poppers the intention is to let one of in the club every time i win a hand.......i dont suppose they will refund a part used bag of 95 poppers....
any way i decide not to piss of the poker gods of karma so i wait till three girls singing a carol have finished...and i say i want to put this pound in your bucket ,but first i want to be sung to with ...merry christmas in the tune of happy birthday with my name thomas in it ...they agree and the song is sung smiles all round,pound in bucket ,surley karma will reward me in the game now....at least nico and raj in the luton g will realise its not just them that has to work hard at getting a tip out of me....all the sweeter when it comes
back mto casino....played poorley over and out.....
had nico dealing on my table and i still owe him a 50 pound propersition bet for the staff tip box...i tell him ill break it down into ten pound bets,first one on the next complete will the cards be mostley red or black...he chooses black and loses ten pound for the tip box
next bet i realy give him a chance ,nico the next complete flop with jack,queen,king,and ace counting as paint will the flop have paint or no paint,he chooses no paint...i pass a ace another guy passes jack queen..two people are all in ,flop included a jack and queen...another tenner not for the staff tip box
okay nicko the next jack on the flop one eyed or two eyed he chooses two eyed....five flops latter jack one eye pops out
onley twenty pound left in the propersition bet bank ....maybe pennies up against the wall will give him a chance

[smashedagain]

Wife loves the story of o

[china mug]

why do we play poker its not for the money   for the vast majority of players it costs a lot
its not for the social interaction as there are loads of more less taxing ways to achive that
its not for some primevil pecking order seudo interlectual reason as by engaugeing in it with such little return against such vast outlay ..time and cost..we wouldnt sensible do it
there has always been gambling ...the romans threw lots for jesuses robes when he was on the cross
there are papers 6000 years old from china found in castes of bronze buddas which make mention of emperors great wagers of vast ammounts on horse races
and no dout when the end of the world is announced in the year 2525 december twenthieth at 9 45 pm,to be caused by a supa nova of sun radiation which is basicley like a shrub fire jumpinp across a parched field ,the sun s flames will leap out and incinder the earth and turn it into a mini sun ....even then in the weeks in the run up to the event you will be able to place bets as to wheather you can win one of the last seets on the ..virgin spaceways ,im the hell out of here dont realy know where were going but any where is better than staying here flights,with opptinial upgrade.

so while there is still time i want to launch a ....
reality poker show

the format is simple
eight players are selected with all the glitz and rama tazz of the existing reality shows..big brother,get me out,x factor,ect..
each contestant has a profile that the watching audiance can feel there life story thru
such as the wanna be faled singer who once had a spot on a tv game show but her cocaine habbit got the better of her and her numeriouse sucking exploits with foot ballers failed to sell enouth papers to keep her in the medias a,b,c,or even d list...and there fore shes grabbing this as her last stage out of dodge ....
the jumped up 30 something politian...

tbc

[china mug]

so ive got time and it would be rude to not do a quick few words on the luton g  100 plus 10 game final at two pm today....the  story so far.....

get a hat get ahead i think is a old quote ...so i decided to enter into the xmas spirit and buy a festive piece of head gear to brighten up my appearance at the day one on last friday....my hair is starting to get a bit unruly as ive decided to grow it longer..nice to have the choice i all ways think,so many guys these days seem to have hair like a posse on a old cowboy film,they all ride furiousley to black barts gulch and meet up then one of them says ..ned hank you go that way jeff tom bill you go down by the double d ranch the rast of you follow me well all meet up at the canyon...routhley translated ..spread out and look like a crowd
so in the pound shop in st albans i buy a red cowboy hat and some bits of xmas decco ,had to pop into wilkinsons in the maltings to get a little string of batterey lights total cost 6.50 the lot and after i use them for hat they can go back to being xmas decco around the house....got to the luton g greeted by the girls on the door put the hat on turned on the light show now built into it and in we go .....un like the charge of the light brigade who had cannons to the left of them cannons to the right of them ...noboby has any xmas head gear on im it ...o well on into the card room at least the staff will have there little red hats ..nope a room full of poker players and im the onley one with any xmas spirit displayed to the discerning xmas revelle like the proud plummage of a rammpant pea cock in all its colour and be dazzle......
strangley i feel like del boy and rodney when they go to there friends wake dressed as bat man and robbin o well i put quality street i bought down on table for all to enjoy ...not many in tin now as a hand full at reception and the same at rajs desk has thinned them out....
and on to play poker'''
nice table and im getting some good hands and chips  aaaahhhh goood at last ,the girl to my right tugs at my hat to straighten one of the mini xmas trees on it ...wow femail attention and poker ...is this heaven ....a scotts guy on the next table ,i think called thinny on account of him haveing more hair on his chin than head ..calls over .tom ive got to take a picture as he snaps me with his mobile phone and probley forwards it to mates .....ive got papperatzi as well ....a well spent few pounds at pound shop to bring such merriment to so many smileing faces,
and back in the room ...on the big blind ive got kk four limpers at 100 i make it 600 first aon pass next one makes it 3100  pass to me im all in 28000 total he snap calls....
w t f ....must have a a ,
w t f ...he turns over a 5 ...

river ace.....its poker jim but not as we know it....wtf

bag hat in ,re entrey , some one is going to pay ...party poppers on side table for fireing of when i win a hand against glevanna who is on my new table or any good hand ....back to back kk the table enjoys the smell of old toy cap guns as i fire of the party poppers some one asks there neigbour at the next table why the party poppers the neigbour looks over ...grunts o'its onley tom winning a hand,...
glevanna exalts the knowledge some newbie is spouting ,god is there no one he wont have at his cheese and wine bashes ....no gleevanna hes talking tosh and no i wouldnt be wiser to take on board some of his wisdom.....hes a self coffessed i play lots of on line and have therefore seen 100 of 1000 of hands and that makes me wiser ,no it dousent.....if you watch 100 of 1000 of porn films do you become the best lover in the world....no
so douse any one know any jokes i ask......check mate
last four hands ,player on other table has just discovered its not a one day event and hes abroad on sunday....hes all in with rubbish or no look ,regs line up to recieve there share of his chips...hes hitting everything more chips for him to not come back to play with....
last two hands ive got about 4500 a good enouth stack to come back with.....
my small blind four callers at 1600,i look down  a k  make it 4500 i say ...kid ,i play 100 of 1000 hands on line all in 50000 ish back to me call...he  jj me  ak 
flop ......a 9  k
turn ...q
river ....gleevanna holering for a jack....or no a ten will do ..... 4
party popper time
it gets better
last hand

im big blind

kid all in 5000 next player all in 70000

i look down  10 10 ,if i call and lose im back with low chips ......
i call ...o you have a advantage over me says mr 70000 all in ,whats that i ask as i turn over my pair of tens.....you have looked ,i havnt he connfesses...he turns a 5 hearts and 8 diamonds.....great what could possibley go wrong.......
dealer burns first card 7 hearts...next card 2 spades ...three of clubs ...its all looking pretty bloody good //////o wait a mineute under the 2 of spades there is another card a jack .......miss flop ruleing
nina is called for she asks the dealer ,gets half the story and says the first two cards stay the rest reshuffle  and finish flop .....i object,i tell her she hasnt all the information and her ruleing may well be the same but i would require her to base it on all the information,she listens...i try to explain that the three cards in question are all of no help to any hand and there fore finish the flop....open debate breaks out no one can say for certain where which card came from.....ninas ruleing goese

so the flop starts with the 7 hearts and proceads........

one card to come and a six will give my oppoinient  a straight and beat my pair of tens............
........
......
i hear glevanna thinking six,six,six,
he misses im back with 166000 chips
its poker not as we know it ,onley in luton g

problem now is what hat to wear...im thinking a card board robot head decorated with crayons ...like the one on a music dance video that was out this year...i could even get andy loo to show me some dance moves.......happy thoughts
well see