china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary

[The Camel]

https://www.twitch.tv/partypokertv

On the twitch commentary for the 25k

Think that may be on the wrong Diary Patrick - I'll stick it on your Diary shortly.

Is it possible to get two poker players from further across the playing spectrum as Tom Myland and Patrick Leonard?

[china mug]

HERE WE GO ANOTHER GROUND HOG DAY
i have arrived in beeston at the hylands b and b ,you know the realy cheap one only 35 a nite including breakfast, i do know that a lot of players have moved on to better bunking down placements [that reminds me appoligise for calling you ian at the goliath richard p ,brain was on walk about]     and the reason to be here is to have a decent go at the 50k guarantee held at the DTD....

playing at luton is bareable but hey it aint going to happen there is it , what has been happening there ...lively dealers choice game the other night with over 20k on the table...unkle festers love child the room manger still acting like scrooge with the free bar meal vouchers but hey some of us have onle been loyal for 25 years plus...lucky allan popping in must give him some hair advice to grow it longer like me so it can brush over the gleeming bit yes you look a bit scruffy until its long enouth but once done well worth it..
some dam good dealers at luton g now .....rarely see his chopyness there and when he dose pop in he hardly talks to say hi or owt...hmmmmm .....celtic has a good escuse as he is in sunny parts ,apoligise to him also as i think i accused him of being a crap welsh poker player last time i saw him ,only 50% right ..


so back to dtd whats the plan ......try hard....win some cash....post details here.....use cash to enter better comps and sit down with chanderer at the DC game.......


and now to call taxi to take me to dtd.

[RED-DOG]

My favourite updates.

[china mug]

I DONT ASK FOR SPECIAL FAVOURS GOD BUT COME ON..
so i finished posting on blonde poker and whent to unpack tooth brush...bugger it one of the four tins of stella beer that i had in my wheelie suitcase [ thank you luton g ...card stamping has its benifits] has ruptured and the bottom of my suitcase is like a whinos arm pit no dout the cleeners at the b and b will think i am a smelly old tosser...also four tinnys was the right liquid supper amount now im a tin short......okay i know its nor brexit or imagration issues or terrorism or indeed will trump or korea kick of the world record tv viewing event but it was my tin of stella and now im a man down......    ........feeling the tin as i throw it it seems to be thiner metal so brilliant some toss pot in some multi mulit million brewery has had the genious idea of using less metal in the making of the tins.......what could possible go wrong......i do hope those tossers dont have owt to do with airplanes.
and outside to wait for taxi to dtd , first good read there is a guy just getting in his car i think to ask him is he for dtd but being shy and not out going i dont , i wait for taxi a oike that looks like hes just of the jeremy kyle show ..you know the one where you have a guy who is on drugs with tattoos all up his neck and he wants to know did his shop lifting wife steal his savings from the cabinet and is the new baby his or his step brothers or his dads or the milkmans  comes walking by as he passes and pulls some ear phones out of his pocket his wallet jumps onto the pavement and he walks on ....here we go good karma bribe number one ...i call after him and point at his wallet he grunts comes back two metres and picks it up , no thank you no cheers mate nothing....just like when over the years i have seen some one at roulete and at there feet there is a black chip or twenty pound note i have waved there attention to it and the same level of gratefullness is expressed as they pocket it and ignore you as they plow back into there own world ..

got to dtd taxi driver was a chatty guy who confessed he had bought a scratch card once but did not enjoy it so dousnt gamble himself,guy from b and b is just booking in ahead of me ..what a read..
and into poker game about 8 hands and i have a pair of nines the bourd is 447 with two spades i bet 1600 matey who flat called my raise to 800 before the flop calls turn a jack no flush i bet 2300 he calls river a nine that flushes i bet 4500 he makes it 13200 i think  call him only tom there are two hands that beet mine quad fours and house of jacks ..call him only...no i dont know how he plays...he may have a flush...or house of sevens...but if you raise tom he shoudnt call with a lesser hand ...so you are betting to lose only ...call only...call only...call only ...no you need chips tom you know you need to be more agressive and not miss out on these streets of value....      i raise to 30,000 he insta shoves all in i call he shows house of jacks i show house of nines the table douse a mantra chant of ..o you cant get away from that bad luck ect...i think yes i could of and should of but with bloody stella brewery pissing on your suitcase the karma is written....
so i re enter....im card dry 2 9 ...10 3 .....ccrap dela crap   guy on my right is at it but he owns the turn and river each time my chips are going down thw m1 its so brutal ....he small raises my big blind i defend with k3 suited flop k7 ten he small bets i have top pair and raise to 2400 he calls turn 8 no flush i bet 3600 he calls last card 8 no flush i bet 5400 he calls and shows 89 to make three eights ...misery card dry horrible table moves it continues and im out again and over to frankie and benies just to get away from the torture ....its very lively in there i order a pizza and coffee i feel a little bad about not spending the money for food at dtd but i just craved getting out for a bit...a kiddie is having a birthday so a candle in a jam jar of a milk shake with ice cream is trayed over to his table for him and his little play mates the mum is taking photos with phone as the house plays happy birthday followed by congratilations by cliff richard many of the diners glance over and smile kids from other tables look over to see who is having all the attention....i see the menu the ice cream milk shakes are 4.95 each the tray of 5 of them just cost the mum 20 quid ...i munch my pizza nice ....o look another birthday boy or girl and the same thing only this time cliff richard is turned down and faded out pretty dam fast i see the mum with photo taking is not best pleasesd but hey you have spent your 4.95 x 5 times for little jonnys birthday trea so you can have pics for face book and to show little jonny what a great time he had and it was almost back to back birthday events come on we have to make yours shorter    they should have gone to MOES from the simpsons he did a great happy birthday routine   ....we have got your money ,build a bridge and get over it ...mmmmm probley have shares in stella brewery.
and back into dtd for 7pm issue got my 100k upto 180k then wibble wobble whehay not this time im out...taxi into beer smelly room two tins a sandwich and three muffins ...i catch a glimpse of my self in mirror ...not a good look ...life is what you make it                      a bit of a balls up thus far                    see what tommorrow brings............

one of the astrounauts on the moon   [yes i know we never landed there and the grassy knoll and the twin towers and the 1% own 80%]  hit a golf ball with a club and there fore set the longest drive in golf as with no or very little gravity it will go a long way [not sure if its in gunnessbook of records]   [ not sure if gunness are cheap skates on there tins  ]      i think i am that golf ball .
see what tommorow brings in the way of self mental flagulation.

youdonthavetobedaftmadcrazyorstupidtolikepokeryouwillneedtobemadcrazydaftandstupidtoexpectpokertolikeyoubacksheisthebiggestwhorethatneverappeardeonthegermykyleshow.... 

[RED-DOG]

Utterly brilliant!

[booder]

Utterly brilliant!

[nirvana]

Astonishing episode Thomas, good luck today

[china mug]

THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU WAKE UP AT 8.38 AM IN THE MORNING THAT DONT INVOLVE THE INTERNET PORN ...PART ONE.
so its a odd time to update but i feel the urge to do it ,sunday morning i have the breakfast at hylands b and b the breakfast lounge is trapped in a time warp two little oldish ladies serve you [they would not look or sound out of place in acorn antiques ] i knock of some ceral with yogurt and there cooked breakfast then ask for more toast and coffee [the coffee comes in one of those funney cup type dispencers that you push the top rod button down to infuse the coffee] the lady brings only one slice of additional toast so my thought process tells me leave one pound tip not the two that i had in mind .....come on tom its only a slice of toast not a indication of how the day at dtd is going to play out...out of breakfast lounge which has the giant like eight foot by six picture of some factory work place where you can see what looks like workers in a uniform simalar to nurses standing by there clean and tidy work stations in some 1960s factory dedicated i think to the clothing industry ...all very tidy and neat showing how the industry is so very with it.   and im into the shower that isnot ensweet splish splash and out to taxi here i come dtd feed washed and ready to take all you can toss at me.....taxi driver seems to be trying to get into boot of car in front of him ,probly has not seen cash for whiplash films on tv .i tip him any way as the karma genies are all knowing and seeing.
into dtd there are a few luton players there but no mr and mrs    you naughty boy     maybe its there honey moon anaversity and they are making all the noise in some b and b of there own.and we play poker , hey im getting a few hands ... playing for maybe two hours starting stack at 100k has risen to 160k nice ....then not so nice im out....but at least i had some chances ........should i rebuy ....well lets think about that you have got on a train waddled your way across the rail way system dragging your suitcase/bag on wheels behind you like some demented womble of wimbeldon common wombat to arrive in nottingham [not knowing your tee shirt is drinking your stella in your suitcase] and you have to think should i re enter again......what else are you going to do .....go and sit in costa coffee...

so we re enter any semblance of a lean mean exocet guidance poker misssile is now gone ....alllthe xxxs and five entrys into the comp.....wtf......aaaahhhhhh.     
196 players 55 for the money and there are 148 now left .....i turn the corner i am getting some of the good stuff....the babble of self oppinated 22 and 26 some thing guys talking to there mates at your table with no regard for hey we are playing here can you shut the puck up as they talk about prauge and the backing they have from some guy if you show that you win on the hendon mob site,it all seems a bit less painful even amusing ....
we come to a crucial hand im under the gun and look down at AA what the puck ....mr delivery man have you dropped this of at the wrong address....i go into sneaky mode ala edna from the luton g i flat call the blind of 1200 when some poor sod makes a move im going to shove it right up them  ...5 players all flat in total ....o puck ....theres betting and at the turn with one card to come  of the flop matey shoves all in im in seat one hes in seat seven  theres no strait out there or pair there is three diamonds and im regretting slow playing my AA with no flush draw .....matey in seat nine is chanking to seat two ...o yes praug...o yes the 5 million gt...o yes every dam thing ....matey who has gone all in for 160 k  is waiting on me alone and all i can hear is mr self oppinion ....i say to the all in sorry this is taking time i have a hand and need to think and there is a lot going on ....mr self opinion ...quips in o sorry ,and takes the volume down a tiny bit but still keeps chanking ....i call mateys all in...he has one pair and a strait and flush draw so thats  20 cards working for him......i win
a short time later i damage mr chatty hes betting all the way as he has been all thru the game and the 2 pairs on the end i have kq for top pair good kicker he bets a good bet and i dwell up ....hes not chatting now....no prauge or simalar...i call eventualy and he turns over 34 and i hear the dealer say two pair ...my body action is as if im going to muck as all i can see is two low cards and my brain is telling me great mr opinion has made a set of threes and he was at it all the time ....wait a minite the dealer said two pair hes got a pair of with the i turn my hand that i was about to muck face down over he glares at me with a was i just slow rolled look .....i think bridge build get over it....but decide not to give him my opinion as im too busy stacking chips
the break comes i treat my self to a latte and pack of mini cheddars ...class act here .....i have above average chips at 400k ish hmmmmmm     hmmmmmm

a bit like the big brother programe ...ITS 4.49AM SCRATCH LEFT NUT  AND BACK TO SLEEP.

TBC.
 

[EvilPie]

Good stuff. Going to save the last report for later.

[china mug]

AND ON TO THE LAST CHAPTER OD   OUR MAN IN DTD
I ALREADY POSTED THIS WHILE ON THE TRAIN FROM BEESTON TO LUTON PARKWAY BUT HAD TO PRESS POST AND JUMP OF THE TRAIN PRETTY SHARPISH AS MY STATION LOOMED UP ON ME AND I WAS STILL BLOGGING AWAY ....SO SOME WHERE OUT THERE IN THE ETHER THE MAY BE THE LOST DEAD SEA SCROLLS OF POKER LITERTURE WHICH AS I HIT POST AND THE LOGO FOR MIDLAND RAILWAYS FLASHED UP MY 40 MINS OF SHAKSPEARAN FLUSHED DOWN THE PAN ...WHILEST STOPPED AT A STATION AS WELL...

SO HERE WE GO
its sunday and im starting to hit good stuff 196 players 55 for the money , my stack is about 680k average is 400k ish we break the table and im in seat 2 on new table seat one a old boy of 70 plus starts telling me and any one that will listen what a luck box seat 7 is going on crap and hitting and nicking all the time....i keep my own council and nod not agreeing or other ,   blinds are 20k 20k with ante 20k so 50k out there for start of every hand   welcome to shove poker ...i limp with a5 suited as im certainley not raising with it and i want seat 8 to pish for his last 90k  he pushes but mr seat one calls ....now i have seen him go all in with nowt and cant rely on him to check it down even though we are 70 players left so i pass ...he shows k8 off mr all in has tj suited and makes a pair but i would have riverd a ace....
then again im the big blind and mr seat 7 has gone all in for his last 290k im going to call but seat 1 call before me and shows j9 off my kq suited would have won....
were in the money my stack is 320k i look down at a 10 off and shove all in seat eight who is chatting to the waitress all the time calls not seeing my action .....the writing is on the wall.....the dealer tells him he has to put in which he dose ...no chatting to waitress now ...he shows jq off ....im out of the game as seat 7 douse a loud verbal ffist pump ....and i think thank you tosser in seat 1 who has allowed this creton to still be in the game ...
and out of dtd into taxi ...into beeston and pub
TBC      JUST A LITTLE

[china mug]

THE PUB OF CHOICE FOR POKER LOSSERS IN BEESTON....THE COMMERCIAL INN...

I get the taxi to drop me at this pub as in previouse years they had a sunday night karioke and if you think my jokes are bad my karioke singing will have you sewing or super glueing your ears up....but from the outside i can see the place has had a majar re furbishment i go in three staff look up from there choirs and greet me there is maybe two other people in the place i see they do    old specald hen bitter    ahhhh a pint nuts and chilli crisps i take a seat in the super clean super tidy bar.....this is the same building that had all the locals shuffling about waiting for there turn to be truly medioka for 3.5 mins of fame   one guy allways used to sing blue velvet and i had a go at angie baby after i got two local girls to do it with me [i promised them a drink ]   where are all those ghosts now i remimiss     ahhhhh the pressures of two intense days of playing poker at dtd start to unwind ahhhhh  i know im disproportanately chuffed at at least making the money ....all said and done if any of us dropped 200 quid on the drive in the dark when we got home we would be out there on our knees looking for it.....i am reminded about a unaversity experiment where they wired a load of roulete players to lie dettector type devises and measured all ther emotions ....they wernt the happyest when they won huge sume or when they won a lot lost a lot and then won a little ...they were happy after they got themselves into a mess and then got part out of it.....so half way up the stairs is the stairs that i sit.
onto my secound pint the first one hardly touched the sides a scruffy guy comes in and the bar man tells him ..no service for homless here mate..i chat to the bar man he explaines the guy has history of falling over and bleading plus pissing himself on the seat of the pub hes in ...sad but i see there point ...i tell the bar man about a item i had heard on the radio ...apparently when the beatles broke up paul macartney with linda macartney had got in two vans with there new group called wings and headed up the M1   they arrived at nottingham and sent there roady into the university office who told the person in charge ...hey ive got paul macartney outside in a van he wants to know if you want him to do a gig with his new group called wings.....according to the radio chat show it took 20 miutes for the university person to bother to go out to the van and see paul macartney and then the stage was set lessons were cancelled experiments in the science section tha were due to be completed before the results were ruinedd were negated and the gig whent on ....the radio said that the person that okayed it for the university was crapping it for a different reason as the hall had only a licence for 800 and it was packed to the eves with all the fire doors chained.....
i decide to have some of there indian food at the pub so its a lamb bryani pershwarree nan and a popadom plus my third pint hmmmm heaven   the relish with the popadom is all super smooth paste suger filled liquids filled with e100s  the lime one is a sort of electric plastic shade of gree and when i dip the popadom in and hold it like a crisp im about to eat it looks like a tiny mountain with green snow on its peak ...hmmm good stuff this third pint in less than a hour ....i get up and pay plus get two tenners for a twenty i say to the waitress ...theres a possible ten pound tip for you if you can tell me my name ,i had told her it earlier ,ill give you a clue i say and you can ask your team being the other two staff that are ther ...its not dick or harrrry ,she looks blank her work mate chips in and tells her think what are the three names that go together with dick and harry ....tom she answers here you are i give her her tip ,and leave    down the road pass two empty pubs into b and b and last tin of stella munched down with the 5 little round mints i got fronm the pub..hmmmm wonky tv with tiny screen and no brightness control.....and sleep
next morning breakfast tip two quid and shower and onto train for 11.11am to luton parkway.... i pass a lady who looks slightley familar she nods and says thanks for the money its the waitress from the breakfast ....nice to be thanked and on to train blogging away not knowing its going to be lost....and home

SO WHAT CAN I LEARN FROM THE TRIP MY FIRST THOUGHT IS GO FOR SUNDAY ONLEY NEXT TIMEWHIELST ITS NICE TO DREAM OF GETTING 300K OR 400K ON SATURDAY THE REALITY IS THERE ARE TOO MANY LOOSE CANNONS IN THE GAME SO SUNDAY ONE DAY MAY BE THE BETTER OPTION AND NO B AND B JUST GET THE TRAIN HOME ....

THERE YOU HAVE IT AND TONITE THERE IS A 6000 GT AT LUTON G WHO KNOWS UNKLE FESTER MAY HAVE A SPARE BAR MEAL TICKET

ithinkthereforeiamasiamifeelasifeelihaveemotionsasihaveemotionsicareasicareidispensepreferencesofrightandwrongandpreferancesofpossiblegoodoverevilandasidispencetheseoptunesidecreerewardandpunishmentformychoicesforiamallpowerfulandknowingbutwhatifimwrongonthefirstoneithinkthereforeiamtheniambackonthegolfballonthemoon.

NTBC.

[RED-DOG]

Great trip report Tom.

[china mug]

SO HERE WE GO AGAIN....
its sunday morning its snowing its 10.37am and im on my way to dtd in nottingham....checked the 4 tins of stella still ok at present...cheap b and b  booked for one night ....and a 50k gt game to play  i may not win i may not even cover the xxxxs but one day and if i have anything to do with it soon......
wish me luck or wish me a snow ball in the neck .....i will let you know about the wall paper patern in the b and b plus the twat at my poker table all of which is just up ahead.....

icameisawiwillconqueroneday..

[Dewi_cool]

great stuff

[china mug]

I HAD BETTER LOOK UP THE LAURA ASHLEY WALL PAPER RANGE BOOK AS THERE IS SOD ALL TO REPORT ON THE GREAT TOM VERSES DTD EVENT...
So i got the train and as per guards info on st albans station i changed at leicester as the train did not stop at beeston ....wrong....guard at leicester tellm me i would have been better going to nottingham and getting a train back to beeston and as with all the disruption that would be ok with railways....instead 0ne hour wait at beeston
i remember edna commiting on my stories on here of how i allways seem to get lost on the last few miles of the journey wheather its newcastle,shefield,coventry,blackpool,or indeed any of the game locations...maybe now im in my dottage and choose to take the train getting of at not the best transfer points is my getting lost syndrome...mmmmmm

so into pumpkin coffee bar at leicester a group of ladies with heavy yorkshire ..i think.. accents keep me amused,as i leave i put the 5p coin from the floor into the charity box.....hope the karma genie douse not think im being mean but if i add to the ammount that would be a bribe and he or she may have a downer on that unless of course they are a politition......yes thats right i am going political as evedenced by my last feltism on the luton g winners table ...FEED THE WORLD , EXCLUSIONS APPLY

and onto beeston into b and b and into taxi then into dtd....
into 110 game two hours of buy in time left approx ....nice
blown out not so bloody nice...the hand matters not suffice to say a player that probley likes his cousin a hell of a lot got his jollies by throwing a dart over his shoulder and hitting the bullsaey i leave huridly uttering ...well thought out sir,not...im far enouth away to not hear his explanation as to why he was right probley along the lines of the world is flat unicorns do exist and elvis works in milton keynes...

into small 50 game and blown out into taxi and into b and b tins of bear are intact as is twix bars from pound shop o well at least nowt else can go wrong now.....
the bloody tv with the screen smaller than a lap top wont work jiggle wiggle put plug in other outlet no sod you tom not a glimmer...mmmmmm

onto laptop and youtube which i only discovered about 3 months ago before that i thought that the internet was for porn and high falutted busness men that look up stock and share graphs and spread sheets before analising all the information cross referenceing with there contacts in capitol cities talking with jeremy and nigel that they belong to the same clubs as and then taking 5 million and putting it into the bussness that has the smart receptionist with big boobs..
the screen is full of cop shooting of unarmed citacens with a twist ..if its a white cop alls okay no disciplinery action ,if the cop is black or mixed race he or she had better start looking at what goes well with a orange overall outfit ...
i click onto some old robin williams stuff brilliant,then david bowie...funny parts...bowie is on a chat show where he is watching the tv with the chat host all the usual good stuff and then bowie cuts across the host and says o theres benny hill and watches it for a few secounds....so bowie likes benny hill ,good...i remember a program i think where benny hill whent to holywood and visited the late charlie chaplins home which had a tour going on ...when the people in charge found out they had benny hill there they granted him access to the parts of the house that the public dont see ...and benny hill was totaly blown away to see in charlie chaplins libary a shelf with his dvd taped shows on ,what a acaluaid charlie chaplin liked your stuff.....
now is there a link yes ther is i absolutley like david bowies music and benny hill was good also and charlie chaplins a genius plus i have a carboard charlie chaplin dancing man toy i got in a house clearance circa 1930s     so in effect there is a link between all four of us almost like a band of brothers ,mmmmmm stop it tom this is how stalkers get started,,,,panick over they are all dead so no problem on the stalking front
still three brilliant stars as opposed to all the neg in the world.
and back in the room  sleep the morphine that blocks out all ackes and wants ....
so in a look back in anger was it worth going to nottingham ,xxxs cost 200  and the only thing that is a posative is the knowledge that you just like a sales man has to have the door slammed in his face 10 or 100 times before he gets a yes the yes makes it worth while but the slammed doors still hurt....
and so back to luton g tuesday they may be a worthwhile overlay with the weather ....there i go forevere the optumist.

i think i shall treat myself to a land rover discovery ...its the car that i could never afford when it was new ... when i get a worthwhile result so like some one that wants to lose weight i shall put a picture on the fridge of the prize  .....

   smile and the whole world smiles with you , apart from the miserable sods that have a inferiority complex and want to find a scape goat for there own failings ...so smile and take the chips