Tell us about the perils of ordering a cup of tea in Paris, please. And the Smug Rating.
Sacré Bleu! Or, for those of you who wish to appear rather more 'street', "sacré fils de putain de merde enculé".
We British take the pleasure of a good cup of tea for granted. Yes the drink is as much a part of our society and heritage as Churchill, the Spitfire and Skeggy so we really should be rather good at it but, let's face it, it's not difficult is it? Isit?
1. Boil kettle
2. Pour boiling water on tea bag
3. Add milk to taste
4. Brew
5. Drink
* In before derail on tea-making-tekkers akin to the epic steak derail of Prose from a Poshboy.Here is the place that I have drunk my favourite ever cup of tea:
The Regency caf(e) is full of builders, plumbers and craftsmen - the people who make London work. And, every so often, me. They are impossibly efficient, it truly is a sight to behold, and their tea is wonderful, delicious, uncomplicated fayre.
So, where do the French fall down?
1. Their kettles don't actually boil, it's all an illusion. They merely
nearly boil, much like they nearly stopped ze Germans.
2. Their tea bags aren't perforated, rather their factories essentially pack tea into cardboard condoms.
3. They're not big on proper milk, it's generally the UHT stuff.
4. Comment? Wat eez 'brew'?
5. Ok, they understand this one. But not before the tea has been served deconstructed on the most ornate platter known to man, sometimes with lemon instead of milk. LEMON!!
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