Vegas & The Aftermath - Diary

[Colchester Kev]

Interesting golf tales please.

oxymoron.

No need to be rude Kev.

[tikay]

Interesting golf tales please.

I have hundreds of them, & I'd love to tell a few but I'd get lynched on here if I did, especially by the football thugs like Kev.

OK then, but just the one, & it's not really golf, it just happened on a golf course.

So.......

[tikay]

It's like the space in front of our house - we own it. But we don't.

if you have a dropped curb?

Byron, PLEASE.

Kerb, not curb.

[Colchester Kev]

Interesting golf tales please.

I have hundreds of them, & I'd love to tell a few but I'd get lynched on here if I did, especially by the football thugs like Kev.

OK then, but just the one, & it's not really golf, it just happened on a golf course.

So.......

LMFAO ... is it the one with the bunker

[Colchester Kev]

Interesting golf tales please.

I have hundreds of them, & I'd love to tell a few but I'd get lynched on here if I did, especially by the football thugs like Kev.

OK then, but just the one, & it's not really golf, it just happened on a golf course.

So.......

LMFAO ... is it the one with the bunker

My football thug days are well behind me now ... these days I umpire Horse racing discussions between boldie & Ralph

[byronkincaid]

It's like the space in front of our house - we own it. But we don't.

if you have a dropped curb?

Byron, PLEASE.

Kerb, not curb.

lol I googled quickly to check as well

[pokefast]

Golf is a wonderful game full of eccentrics.

Its your thread Tikay say what you will.

[Dingdell]

It's like the space in front of our house - we own it. But we don't.

if you have a dropped curb?

Byron, PLEASE.

Kerb, not curb.

lol I googled quickly to check as well

Google wrong? Surely not!

[byronkincaid]

It's like the space in front of our house - we own it. But we don't.

if you have a dropped curb?

Byron, PLEASE.

Kerb, not curb.

lol I googled quickly to check as well

Google wrong? Surely not!

are you telling me I'm wrong about lose and loose? I notice you still spell it loose on your website. I thought that lose is what you do when you play fruit machines and loose is what your trousers are when you lose weight. Am I wrong?

[byronkincaid]

anyway bring back IFM, buncha spelling nazi's ganging up on me today. and yes there's prob no ' in nazi's, it's an internet forum i don't care

if I had a business with a website then i would triple check everything, ding seems to have a good business brain so can't understand why she would deliberately spell stuff wrong

[tikay]

It's like the space in front of our house - we own it. But we don't.

if you have a dropped curb?

Byron, PLEASE.

Kerb, not curb.

lol I googled quickly to check as well

Google wrong? Surely not!

are you telling me I'm wrong about lose and loose? I notice you still spell it loose on your website. I thought that lose is what you do when you play fruit machines and loose is what your trousers are when you lose weight. Am I wrong?

Whoa, hold up guys!

That's a little below the belt byron, please.

Ding has a bit of a slots problem, she's been very brave to "out" herself on here, but I don't think we should use it as a stick to beat her.

Can we just drop the issue, please? I don't want to loose it. Or play lose.

Ta very.

[tikay]

anyway bring back IFM, buncha spelling nazi's ganging up on me today. and yes there's prob no ' in nazi's, it's an internet forum i don't care

if I had a business with a website then i would triple check everything, ding seems to have a good business brain so can't understand why she would deliberately spell stuff wrong

Nooooooooooooooo!

I wonder if he married any of those schoolgirls he cavorted with?

He was fine on blonde during the day, but when the alocohol took hold, at nights......

When he got Banned he gave me SO much grief, I can't tell you! Talk about moan!

[byronkincaid]

was gonna say poker but that seemed like a diss, everyone loses on fruit machines long term that was my point I know nothing about ding and fruit machines except that she won 2K when she was staked that time

[tikay]

When I first took up Golf, I needed to select a Club to be "my" Club.

The Joining Fee, usually a few grand, & first Year's Membership Fee - anything from £800 to £3,000 in Derbyshire - was a gift from my then Chairman, & subsequently friend, not to say lifetime hero, John Kirkland. It included 12 lessons with a Pro, before actually venturing onto a course.

I took the lessons - no, they never worked - & then set about finding a Club to join.

I purchased all the gear - well expensive it was too, Clubs, bags, shoes, Shirts, Trousers, the lot, again all at JNK's expense.

At last the time camre for my first round, & I chose Quarndon Golf Club, which is beautiful, & inhabited by huge flocks of Canada Geese, & is just outside Derby. I really wanted to be a Member there, it's a beautiful course, has some water hazards, Quarndon House adjoins it, & it's set in stunning countryside.

I was very nervous come the big day. Particularly about walking into the Locker Room, with all my new gear. Some Poker peeps are incredibly snobby to newbies.

So I got fully dressed in my new gear at work, then drove to the Golf Course, & parked in the very far corner of the Car Park - it seemed so wrong to park with all the nobs, with their personalised number plates & big up yours Bentleys. I'm better off in the corner, away from all that. So that's where I parked up.

I got out, & opened the boot to get my bag of clubs out. And my shiny new golf shoes. Uh-oh, mistake.

Lesson # 1. Do NOT change your shoes in the Car Park, it's not done. The rule is "Would Prince Charles do it?". Well I never knew all that!

Oi.

Oi!

And I'm thinking, "what?"

Oi. YOU!

And I look round, & there's this tosser in a tweed jacket, leather armpatches, (looked a bit like boldie) shouting at me, from right across the other side of the Car Park.

"Err, sorry, I beg your pardon", I stutter, reddening up in the cheeks a treat. I had no idea what I'd done wrong.

He shouts again, "Don't you DARE change your shoes in MY Car Park, what do you think this is, a Municipal Course?".

I had a list of 10 Courses on my "short-list", one of which I hoped to join. Needless to say, Quarndon got scrubbed off the list.

Anyway, that's not the story, I digressed a bit.....

[tikay]

was gonna say poker but that seemed like a diss, everyone loses on fruit machines long term that was my point I know nothing about ding and fruit machines except that she won 2K when she was staked that time

Then I heartily apologise, my bad.

She has fessed up on blonde that she is struggling with a slots addiction, & it's a very painful thing, quite sensitive too, so please accept my apologies for being a little defensive there.

Can I finish my golf story now?