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Author Topic: My daughter Sadie  (Read 85287 times)
china mug
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« Reply #165 on: October 03, 2010, 07:15:27 PM »
many years ago in on a building site this conversation took place in the tea hut,i see here in the news paper if you send off 12 vouchers you can get a portable transister radio in the shape of a can of coca cola,next guy replies i shoudnt bother its bound to be  tinny,
polite laughter ripples thru the site hut as we muse over the guys sharp wit and precision delivery,then drys up as we see from the body launguage and demour of our great wit [aided with visual assistance as he is oggleing sam fox on page three of his intel challenge]   he has no idea.....
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TightEnd
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« Reply #166 on: October 09, 2010, 01:05:57 PM »
"Dad?"

"Yes, Ryan"

"What's better, sex or chocolate?"

slows car down, ponders what on earth to answer a 13 year old.....and why on earth is he answering

and reply

"Depends if you are hungry or not..."

Feel smug that have got away with it.

Twenty seconds later

"Dad, do you mean Oral sex?"
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Claw75
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« Reply #167 on: October 09, 2010, 03:06:01 PM »
Quote from: TightEnd on October 09, 2010, 01:05:57 PM
"Dad?"

"Yes, Ryan"

"What's better, sex or chocolate?"

slows car down, ponders what on earth to answer a 13 year old.....and why on earth is he answering

and reply

"Depends if you are hungry or not..."

Feel smug that have got away with it.

Twenty seconds later

"Dad, do you mean Oral sex?"

haha - fantastic! 
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"Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon....no matter how good you are the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway"
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« Reply #168 on: October 10, 2010, 01:09:36 PM »
Bridie singing

I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear
Just as long, as you tranquillise me
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TightEnd
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« Reply #169 on: October 16, 2010, 11:33:36 AM »
 Sitting down with a cuppa when my daughter comes up to me and says "Come on, stop relaxing, you are a Parent!"
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By the way,I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out today
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« Reply #170 on: November 19, 2010, 06:27:42 PM »
Girl in the office where Bridie works:  "I can see you in my profiterole vision"
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« Reply #171 on: November 20, 2010, 02:03:42 PM »
Quote from: RED-DOG on November 19, 2010, 06:27:42 PM
Girl in the office where Bridie works:  "I can see you in my profiterole vision"

THAT made me proper chuckle.
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« Reply #172 on: March 02, 2011, 10:37:20 PM »
Overheard the girls chatting.

Zelly: Did you see the David Attenborough programme "The Giant Egg"?

Bridie: No...

Sadie: Where did it come from?

Mrs Red: A giant ****
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« Reply #173 on: March 02, 2011, 10:40:55 PM »
On a recent trip to the cinema I asked my 11yo lad what he'd like for a snack....
...cockporn 
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« Reply #174 on: March 31, 2011, 07:36:53 PM »
Posted on my friend's facebook status.  Her daughter is 3.

Me: "Eve, if you say 'I want to go downstairs' one more time you are going on the naughty spot. Do you understand?" Eve: "yes...,, Mummy? I don't want to be upstairs anymore.'
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"Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon....no matter how good you are the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway"
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« Reply #175 on: November 03, 2011, 02:06:55 PM »
Sadie on phone to bank:

Can you send me a statement please?

Will a short one be OK?

How far does a short one go back?

6 entries.

Six centuries?.....  Six centuries?

Yes, 6 entries.

But I've only had the account for 4 years.
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« Reply #176 on: November 03, 2011, 02:32:51 PM »
Reece was staying home with Darren the other night whilst I was on lates. My mobile rang it was Darren to say Reece really needed to talk with me.

Reece, " Grandma Grandma we have a problem, last night I saw Mummy getting undressed to shower and guess what...she doesn't have a willy. Don't tell me she wee's and poo's through her bum. She is a freak I tell ya, a freak ".

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« Reply #177 on: November 03, 2011, 08:40:41 PM »
Quote from: RED-DOG on November 03, 2011, 02:06:55 PM
Sadie on phone to bank:

Can you send me a statement please?

Will a short one be OK?

How far does a short one go back?

6 entries.

Six centuries?.....  Six centuries?

Yes, 6 entries.

But I've only had the account for 4 years.

 
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« Reply #178 on: November 06, 2011, 08:12:25 AM »
While getting dried after her bath last night 2yo Alice reacted to the sound of exploding fireworks outside with "Daddy trumped."

Charming!
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« Reply #179 on: November 27, 2011, 09:21:19 PM »
At my Dad's last night, pretty com exchange with him and my step sister who's 18 and has just moved to Uni at Middlesboro...

Dad "When you going to clean that car it's filthy"

Ashleigh "I can't clean it now I'm at Middlesboro"

Dad "Huh, why ??"

Ashleigh "Because if I do someone will steal it while I'm cleaning it"

We all look completely bemused

Dad to me "She's actually serious as well"

Me "Eh, how would they steal it"

Ashleigh "While I'm cleaning it at the back someone will jump in and pinch it"

 
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