Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary

[RED-DOG]

I wish I could remember the name of the Maddona song. I swear to God I would do a karaoke version of it and use it to Rick-Roll Tony until he smashed his iPad.

[bobAlike]

Dont think I've heard you swear before Tom, think you may need counselling.

EDIT:

**** ***!.

Well said

[RED-DOG]

So I went into a crowded chemist yesterday to get a bottle of linctus.

Can I have a bottle of linctus please?

What is it for?

A cough.

Do you have a cough?

Yes.

Have you seen a Doctor?

Yes.

What did he say?

He said I have beautiful eyes.

Everyone in the shop starts laughing, which in turn causes most of us to have a coughing fit.

Deadpan, she passes me a bottle.

Dry-tickly. £4.25 please.

[RED-DOG]

Dont think I've heard you swear before Tom, think you may need counselling.

EDIT:

**** ***!.

Well said

So glad you quoted the edited version. I'm in imminent danger of getting the sack.

[kinboshi]

So I went into a crowded chemist yesterday to get a bottle of linctus.

Can I have a bottle of linctus please?

What is it for?

A cough.

Do you have a cough?

Yes.

Have you seen a Doctor?

Yes.

What did he say?

He said I have beautiful eyes.

Everyone in the shop starts laughing, which in turn causes most of us to have a coughing fit.

Deadpan, she passes me a bottle.

Dry-tickly. £4.25 please.

I laughed. 

Lots of people got coughs at the moment, fortunately I've managed to swerve it so far, but the missus has been suffering with bronchitis for a few weeks and is only now getting over it.

It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in.

[bobAlike]

This talk about coughs reminded me.....

At work on Wednesday 4 of us were being a bit mischievous and started playing a childish game where a chosen word must be inserted into a conversation with the other conversation participants unaware. So we looked at Urban Dictionary for inspiration and the first word was chosen at random.

"Queef" I'll leave you to look it up.

Anyway, we had some important bods from Microsoft visiting our office and were being introduced to the senior members of our organisation. When they came to me I shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. They then start talking to me about some tech stuff and I found my spot.... "Not sure I understand what you're saying, all this talk is like a queef blowing over my head".

Well to of my colleagues nearly choked, I couldn't keep a straight face and and had fake a cough. Our visitors were bemused.
This went on for about 5 mins and I couldn't get a word out.

Really unprofessional but so funny at the time.

[smashedagain]

This talk about coughs reminded me.....

At work on Wednesday 4 of us were being a bit mischievous and started playing a childish game where a chosen word must be inserted into a conversation with the other conversation participants unaware. So we looked at Urban Dictionary for inspiration and the first word was chosen at random.

"Queef" I'll leave you to look it up.

Anyway, we had some important bods from Microsoft visiting our office and were being introduced to the senior members of our organisation. When they came to me I shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. They then start talking to me about some tech stuff and I found my spot.... "Not sure I understand what you're saying, all this talk is like a queef blowing over my head".

Well to of my colleagues nearly choked, I couldn't keep a straight face and and had fake a cough. Our visitors were bemused.
This went on for about 5 mins and I couldn't get a word out.

Really unprofessional but so funny at the time.

lol

[Rod Paradise]

This talk about coughs reminded me.....

At work on Wednesday 4 of us were being a bit mischievous and started playing a childish game where a chosen word must be inserted into a conversation with the other conversation participants unaware. So we looked at Urban Dictionary for inspiration and the first word was chosen at random.

"Queef" I'll leave you to look it up.

Anyway, we had some important bods from Microsoft visiting our office and were being introduced to the senior members of our organisation. When they came to me I shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. They then start talking to me about some tech stuff and I found my spot.... "Not sure I understand what you're saying, all this talk is like a queef blowing over my head".

Well to of my colleagues nearly choked, I couldn't keep a straight face and and had fake a cough. Our visitors were bemused.
This went on for about 5 mins and I couldn't get a word out.

Really unprofessional but so funny at the time.

<TECHY GEEK STORY PROBABLY BELONGING IN TIKAY'S DIARY> Reminds me of the time I was volunteered (youngest Engineer, newest in the team) to show a Geek Club (can't remember what/where etc but they were a retired techies club) round a 'modern' telecom exchange. To be fair to those who volunteered me I'd been a lecturer at the GPT training school so had more than 'if it reports a fault, look it up in the manual and swap a component card' which was 99% of the fault finding.

Big problem, System X (which is on it's way out) is a digital exchange, nothing moves, & it sits there, a gooseneck grey & dolphin blue bunch of equipment racks, doing nothing......



The old analogue exchanges, TXE2, TXE4 & TXE4a and of course the Strowger (invented by a German undertaker convinced the operator was diverting calls to a rival undertaker) all have lovely wiring looms, and moving parts - you can trace a call just by tracking the moving bits.

So you take a few of the covers off - which show cards in slots & the occasional LED, doing nothing.....



So apart from spouting the stats, 1.6million busy hour call attempts (BHCA)  - a world record set in 1989 in Beeston Nottingham. There's not much else, atpart from the Processor rack. It has flashing LEDs. So I've the covers off the processor, explaining dual side security etc & I point out the 'clock cards'  which have a regular switching on and off of the LED on the front.  'That's the clock card' says I. The geeks look. 'Why's that one there slower than the clock card?' comes the question. Sure enough there's a card with it's LED switching on and off at half the rate of the clock card. Now there's not reason for the clock card to flash LEDs at all - it's f all to do with the clock rate, but I haven't a Scooby's why the other one is at half the rate. 'It's the half-speed clock' I say... and my work mates heard it... |To this day I don't know why it's at half the rate, and to this day I get reminded of it.

Never try to jazz up something totally boring.... which I should have thought before typing this drivel....

[Kev B]

Look at this lovely chap who visits the house we are working at almost every day. Taken on phone so not the clearest photo. Will try to remember to take my camera next week.

Click to see full-size image.

[RED-DOG]

Look at this lovely chap who visits the house we are working at almost every day. Taken on phone so not the clearest photo. Will try to remember to take my camera next week.

Nice one Kev. You caught him in a great pose. If you can even see one of his spurs.

It's short and stubby now, which shows he's a young bird. Once he reaches about two years old, his spurs will have grown longer and developed pointed 'spike' nail used for fighting.

[RED-DOG]

I was in Leicester today so I took a few 'Candids'.

Click to see full-size image.

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[RED-DOG]

I watched the jackdaws for a while. They were renovating last year's nests ready for spring.

Not much renovating got done actually, just a lot of squabbling and pinching each other's sticks.

I had several attempts, but I couldn't get a decent photo. this was my best effort.

Click to see full-size image.

[RED-DOG]

Would you rather...

Have the ability to fly, or X-ray vision?

[pokerfan]

THat reminds me Red - been meaning to post this for Tikay for ages: the old station house down at the bottom of my road has been completely renovated (ie down to the walls and re-roofed the lot) and is now a holiday let.

They did a beautiful job, but it's still right beside the railway.....

http://www.sanquharstation.co.uk/stationmastershouse_today

How wonderful, thanks Rod.

Whilst in the West Highlands over Christmas, found a similar thing, though this was a self-catering affair, at beautiful place called Plockton. For non-Scots, Plockton is on the shore of Loch Carron, just south of the Applecross Peninsula. I'm bound to say, it was the greatest holiday I have ever had, & I'll be booking my next trip up within the next few days.

I holidayed In Applecross as a youth, a local couple bought the pub up there ( the only one iirc) Was the nut worst holiday for a teenager, abso nothing to do. You couldn't even get a newspaper until it was a day old.
But for some reason I've sort of got a yearning to go back, now I'm old enough to appreciate it like.
The drive was hellish as a kid but I'd love to drive up that mountain now and take in the views, sit outside that pub just looking over the bay, doubt the kids would thank me though.

The bloke who took the pub was a family friend, Bernie Fish, he was a character back in the day.  He once fought my school mate Garnett Wraggs dad in a charity boxing match outside the local boozer, knocked seven bells out of each other for about fifty quid, Mr Wragg obv knew he was on a loser, he was giving up about two stone in weight and six inch in hight to Bernie but gave a good account of himself at least.

[RED-DOG]

THat reminds me Red - been meaning to post this for Tikay for ages: the old station house down at the bottom of my road has been completely renovated (ie down to the walls and re-roofed the lot) and is now a holiday let.

They did a beautiful job, but it's still right beside the railway.....

http://www.sanquharstation.co.uk/stationmastershouse_today

How wonderful, thanks Rod.

Whilst in the West Highlands over Christmas, found a similar thing, though this was a self-catering affair, at beautiful place called Plockton. For non-Scots, Plockton is on the shore of Loch Carron, just south of the Applecross Peninsula. I'm bound to say, it was the greatest holiday I have ever had, & I'll be booking my next trip up within the next few days.

I holidayed In Applecross as a youth, a local couple bought the pub up there ( the only one iirc) Was the nut worst holiday for a teenager, abso nothing to do. You couldn't even get a newspaper until it was a day old.
But for some reason I've sort of got a yearning to go back, now I'm old enough to appreciate it like.
The drive was hellish as a kid but I'd love to drive up that mountain now and take in the views, sit outside that pub just looking over the bay, doubt the kids would thank me though.

The bloke who took the pub was a family friend, Bernie Fish, he was a character back in the day.  He once fought my school mate Garnett Wraggs dad in a charity boxing match outside the local boozer, knocked seven bells out of each other for about fifty quid, Mr Wragg obv knew he was on a loser, he was giving up about two stone in weight and six inch in hight to Bernie but gave a good account of himself at least.

May I ask how old you are (ish) Mr Fan?