Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary

[RED-DOG]

I saw this artwork on a door yesterday, I thought tt was great.

Click to see full-size image.

[RED-DOG]

Also saw this bicycle lock, which I can highly recommend.

Click to see full-size image.

[Kev B]

I saw this artwork on a door yesterday, I thought tt was great.

Click to see full-size image.

Absolutely love that Tom.

[Pokerpops]

Also saw this bicycle lock, which I can highly recommend.

Click to see full-size image.

My dad used to claim that his bike was so bad that when he locked it up outside the swimming baths someone stole the lock but left the bike.

[RED-DOG]

Click to see full-size image.

[RED-DOG]

https://youtu.be/ubRBLAHjkTo

[RED-DOG]

Last night I looked online for a wireless mouse, I found one that I wanted at Argos for £14.99

It wasn't in stock it my local Argos but it was in stock at the Fosse Park branch which I would be passing today.

I took a screen shot of the one that I wanted so as not to get confused when I popped in today and once in the shop I typed the number into the computer-ordering thingy. It produced a picture of the mouse I wanted but with a price tag of £22.99.
I compared this to my identical screen-shot with a price of £14.99, I thought must be doing something wrong but I couldn't figure out what. I joined the queue to speak to a real person.

Apparently, the mouse that I wanted had increased in price by £8 overnight. Those of you that know me will have guessed that I didn't buy it.

I consulted Google and found that Currys, a few hundred yards away, were selling them for £11.99.

This is a plug and play device, but it comes with a 30 page instruction manual. Some of my favourite entries are in the warnings section.

Warning! Incorrectly fitting the battery could cause explosions.

Warning! Incorrectly disposing of spent batteries could cause fire or bio-hazard.

Warning! Prolonged use could cause strain injury and or nerve damage.

Warning. Adjustments beyond those specified could result in hazardous radiation exposure.

[doubleup]

Do you read instructions more now than you used to? I pretty much never used to read them, just went ahead and referred when I got stuck.  Now I do all the time. I think having to disassemble an almost completed Ikea bed broke my spirit 

[RED-DOG]

I'm still kinda resistant to written instructions, they're usually so confusing, I often try to find a YouTube video instead. Things are so much clearer if you can see what to do rather than read about it. The difficult bit is getting past the part where a 50yo white bloke in a beige cardigan and carpet slippers greets you with, "Yo dude, sapnin?"

[booder]

Do you read instructions more now than you used to? I pretty much never used to read them, just went ahead and referred when I got stuck.  Now I do all the time.

True dat

[Ronan1001]

I'm still kinda resistant to written instructions, they're usually so confusing, I often try to find a YouTube video instead. Things are so much clearer if you can see what to do rather than read about it. The difficult bit is getting past the part where a 50yo white bloke in a beige cardigan and carpet slippers greets you with, "Yo dude, sapnin?"

Perhaps finding a good review is really the best option. A written manual is not always clear. And it can even be boring. And a video review is great. I watch them too.

[RED-DOG]

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, nothing was stirring, not even the thing that rhymes with the thing we're trying to sell.

[RED-DOG]

Mrs Red & I are going to my daughter's for Christmas dinner today so I decided to swerve my usual breakfast of fakeon and eggs on toast to preserve my appetite. Not of course that my appetite it needs much preserving, it's probably the most reliable thing about me.

Anyway I wasn't going to fast completely until dinner because at the back of the cupboard I knew there was about four inches of very stale baguette with my name on it, and stale baguette cut lengthways, toasted and heavily buttered is one of the best kept secrets of the culinary world.

I always walk the dog for an hour or so before I breakfast but this morning, no doubt unconsciously driven by anticipation I was home in 45 minuets. I put the kettle on for tea and reached into the cupboard for my baguette...  It wasn't there.

"It was there before I left so it must be here somewhere" I reasoned, kneeling down so that I could actually see into the cupboard and push the tins and jars from side to side, it wasn't there.

Panic rising, I questioned Mrs Red.

"Oh that" She said, "It was as hard as a rock, I've just binned it."

Slightly annoyed but also relieved, I turned to the plastic carrier bag hanging from the knob on a cupboard door that we use as a pedal bin.

"Not that bin" Called Mrs Red cheerfully over the noise of the Hoover, "The wheelie bin outside".

Now I don't know about yours, but our wheelie bin isn't going to win any prizes cleanliness, in fact I bet it would take a good forensics team about 20 years to identify all the stains on the inside, but I'm a stubborn man, and I wanted my baguette.

I opened the wheelie bin lid and as luck would have it I spotted it immediately, near the top, still in its bag, and fortunately not quite touching the tater peelings and a fungus toting brown and green concoction that seemed to involve sprouts and gravy.   

I rescued the baguette, washed my hands, removed it from it's bag, washed my hands again and inspected my prize, it looked fine. I cut it lengthways, popped it into the toaster and watched it carefully.

You can't just wait for a baguette to pop up, you have to watch it, sometimes it will burn if you leave it too long, sometimes it needs putting back in again for a half-cycle after it pops the first time. This one was almost done first time but needed a few more seconds to achieve perfection.

My phone rang. It was one of my daughters wishing us a merry Christmas. When I put the phone down I realised that I'd forgotten to watch the baguette and now it was burned. I tried to scrape some of the burn off but it slipped out of my hand and fell into the sink, which luckily was empty of water but still contained about 10mm of bleach-flavoured suds. Taking the events leading up to this point into consideration I reasoned that a little bleach was probably no bad thing and I pressed on with the buttering.

I eventually sat down with my cold tea and my burned baguette, plugged my phone into the charger, lassoed my plate with the wire and dumped both slices butter side down on the carpet. It's true, I swear to God.

Did I eat it after all that? well as I said, I'm a stubborn man.

Did I enjoy it? No, of course not, it was hairy and bleachy with overtones of sprouts and gravy.

Never mind. Back to fakeon and eggs tomorrow.

[booder]

       Merry Christmas

[tikay]

A Red story on Christmas Day.

All is well with the world.