Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary

[typhoon13]

What a weirdo Trev is by the way. Who doesn't like butter on a jacket tater?

I always have grated cheese and mayonnaise

The thought of melted butter on jacket Tate turns my stomach

Kev is right with the mint sauce

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Mint sauce & mayonnaise = Weird.

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I'm part of a Whatsapp "Lads" group. Basically it's a bunch of young men talking about young men stuff that I somehow got added to. Mostly the posts are about drinking, fighting, cars, girls.. You get the picture.
Obviously I don't contribute and to be honest it's all a bit juvenile for my taste. Really I should exclude myself, but I suppose I was a bit flattered to be included in the first place, so here we are.

In amongst the chat, there are often links to interesting or funny things online but I learned very early on not to click on them when I'm in company. Most of them are perfectly innocent but one lad in particular likes to slip in the odd one that links to very loud porn sites with full, no-holds-barred audio description in the hope that it will embarrass someone. It has worked on multiple occasions. Many a restaurant or family gathering has been given the full, X rated version of When Harry met Sally. 

Yesterday I noticed one such message, but as I was sitting on the settee with Mrs Red at the time I left it unopened.

A little while later Mrs R said she was nipping to the shops and as soon as she was safely outside in the car I opened the link and there, as expected, was a very explicit naughty video. Unusually though, there was no audio, which was strange. I could see the participant's lips moving as they gyrated, but apart from that, silence.

I checked my phone settings and turned the volume up to full, still nothing, Then I noticed the little symbol that says the phone is connected to Bluetooth. The horrible truth slowly dawned on me....

A few days earlier, I had paired my phone to the car's audio system. If the car radio was left on, (It usually is) it would come to life as soon as the car was started.

Panicking, I looked out of the window. The car had stopped halfway down the drive.

Coming to my senses, I quickly turned the porn off and after a few seconds the car drove on.

"Everything OK dear?" I asked when Mrs Red got home, "How come you stopped halfway down the lane?"

"There was something interesting on the radio, but I must have just caught the end of it".

"Really?" I asked, "What was it?"

"Oh, nothing that you would be interested in..."


 

[doubleup]

haha  10/10

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Click to see full-size image.

tikay's tee shot on the 140yd 14th.

Guess which hole has all the side bets and stuff? Coincidence, I think not.

[doubleup]

I've never taken anything to do with bluetooth. Various devices insisted on constantly telling me that "bluetooth is not discoverable by others". Which information I didn't gaf about or understand why I should find important.

[doubleup]

But it is a pretty good shot with a driver, so he can't be knocked for it.

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I've never taken anything to do with bluetooth. Various devices insisted on constantly telling me that "bluetooth is not discoverable by others". Which information I didn't gaf about or understand why I should find important.

After years of fighting against it I have finally embraced Bluetooth.
I was forced into it when the phone manufacturers did away with the headphone jack. Now I have wireless ear buds that I can wear while I'm working. Mundane tasks pass much more quickly in the company of Melvyn Bragg on radio 4.
Just try not to use it to broadcast porn to your Mrs. At least not without her consent.

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Warning! Incoming spam.

Michael Portillo's Great Railway Journeys. Splendiferous television.